Terms You Didn’t Learn at Conservatory
*APPOLOGGIATURA*: A composition that you regret playing
*APPROXIMENTO*: A musical entrance that is somewhere in the vicinity of the correct pitch
*DILL PICCOLINI*: An exceedingly small wind instrument that plays only sour notes
*ALLREGRETTO*: When you’re well into the piece and realize you took too fast a tempo
*ANGUS DEI*: To play with a divinely beefy tone
*APPROXIMATURA*: Notes not intended by the composer, yet played with an “I mean that”
*CACOPHANY*:A composition incorporating many people with chest colds
*CORAL SYMPHONY*: A large, multi-movement work from Beethoven’s Caribbean Period
*FERMANTRA*: A note held over and over and over and over and …
*FERMOOTA*: A note of dubious value held for indefinite length
*FIDDLER CRABS*: Grumpy string players
*FLUTE FLIES*: Those tiny mosquitoes that bother musicians on outdoor gigs
*FRUGALHORN*: A sensible and inexpensive brass instrument
*GAUL BLATIER*: A French horn player
*GREGORIAN CHAMP*: Title bestowed upon the monk who can hold a note the longest
*GROUND HOG*: One who takes control of the bass line and won’t let anyone else play it
*PLACEBO DOMINGO*: A faux tenor
*SCHMALZANDO*: Music from the Guy Lombardo band
*RIGHT OF STRINGS*: Manifesto for Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Violists
*SPRITZICATO*: An indication to string instruments to produce a bright and bubbly sound
*TEMPO TANTRUM*: What a school orchestra has when it’s not following the conductor
*TROUBLE CLEF*: Any clef one can’t read: e.g., alto clef for pianists
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