[keepfight1n]

temporarily moving to @c0eur, xoxo.

[keepfight1n]

happy father's day to joel miller . . . the guy who can't help but be everyone's dad

[iamasaddie-deactivated20251105]

JOEL MILLER x coffee

[keepfight1n]

hey fam . . . i'm getting my drafts in order to load into the queue. i will probably post an inbox & a starter call once that's taken care of. xoxo.

[iamasaddie-deactivated20251105]

[keepfight1n]

i'm resurfacing just in time to have 100000 thoughts

first of all . . . the school year is almost over and i will have so much time to write !!!!!

but for now, have my thoughts about tonight's episode.

let's start with things i like: - a childhood flashback? with a kid who weirdly looks a lot like pedro? showing that joel has always been protective of tommy? and has always been trying to save something? iconic, very few notes. - just seeing dad vibes from joel is always something i want ok - future days babyyyyyyyy - the museum vibes (that they chose to shoot) were wonderful. i'm very thankful they kept those moments true to the game - i'm not mad about finally getting an 'i love you'..... but pls reference my notes below lmao

now for my critiques . . . - the theme of birthday hopping did some wonky things to the timeline . . . this whole season has done some wonky things to the timeline, but still - joel judging ellie for having a girl in her room? false. joel being scared and lashing out because ellie is growing up? absolutely. that little hint of homophobia was not the vibe (even if that's not at all what they meant . . . . that is how i took it) - first patrol at 19? huh? - ellie getting hella suspicious of joel by catching him in another lie was actually pretty genius. i would have aaaabsolutely preferred the salt lake trip, but i'm not necessarily upset about the eugene storyline. WHAT I AM UPSET ABOUT is the fact that she learns the truth on the same night as the 'forgiveness' talk . . . that simply isn't realistic !!!!! - the 'i love you' . . . bless pedro. bless him. and bella sold that scene emotionally, too. but this timeline does not track. and i am not a fan of the parenting-hand-off we seem to be doing. the passing on of the 'i hope you do a little better than me' did not justify the out of character 'i'm going to be a dad' from the previous ep. they're pushing a narrative that doesn't need to be pushed? ellie's time with dina and jj has a purpose already. abby & lev's paralleles to joel & ellie has a prupose already. idk, they're doing too much and it's not paying off the way i fear they want it to.

all that to say . . . it was incredibly wonderful to see joel again and i did shed many a tear :')

[keepfight1n]

🫠

[keepfight1n]

glasses rest on the edge of his nose, and he tries to ignore the sawdust collecting around the rims. he wasn't exactly surprised by the sound of the door slamming downstairs; if he was being honest with himself, he expected it. his hands don't falter as they whittle away at a block of wood starting to take shape as the horse he'd been riding since coming back to jackson. of all the things he knew this conversation may spark in him, shock wasn't one of them.

@infectd asked: are you kidding me? who decided this?

" i did. " he answered, back still turned to the door. he puts down his tools, wipes his hands on the top of his legs, and turns to face her with an expression he hoped looked vacant. he'd resigned himself to her anger; more than anything, he was just tired. " i told tommy to pull back on some patrols, and he agreed. things have been quiet, and there's plenty to do around here. i don't need you out there if it ain't necessary. " arms cross over his chest defensively. this was no one's idea but his own; tommy was simply collateral damage. " i wouldn't have brought it up if i didn't think it was a good idea. you know that. "

[keepfight1n]

he wasn't sure that renovating the garage behind the house was a wise choice, though he wasn't entirely sure if that was his own conscience speaking or his concern for her. the place needed better insulation, a heat source for the winter. how much farther could he let her pull away before she was too far to reel back in? would denying her of this push her farther than just letting her go? " tommy's gatherin' a few things from some houses out by the gate to help fix things up out there. " he clears his throat quietly, crossing his arms over his chest. " you're sure that's what ── what you want? "

starter for @savef1le ── ellie!

[keepfight1n]

" ellie, listen ── " the sigh that leaves him hollows out his chest a bit, as if his body knows exactly how this conversation is going to go before his mind can convince it otherwise. it seemed every line between them was thin, walking any of them was a danger he never took caution of. hope was a fickle thing. " i think you should stay back a week or so on patrols. a couple trails got washed out in the weather, and reports ain't been . . . predictable, lately. "

starter for @endur4nce ── ellie !

[keepfight1n]

the smell of coffee fills the air. it's stale; lord knows when it was packaged. he doesn't truly mind. " i'm willin' to share if you'd like some. " he quirks a brow in the others' direction, looking to her over the rim of his mug.

starter for @likesouvenirs !

[pedrospascaled]

THE LAST OF US S01E01 - When You’re Lost in the Darkness

[keepfight1n]

reports of infected had multiplied in recent weeks. he wouldn't pretend to know why; he wouldn't even pretend to be the one best called upon to lead patrols. a small pack of runners had been cleared just yesterday out east. he had been just as surprised when tommy'd made the call to head back out today.

joel had made his way to the stables to prepare his horse for the ride. familiar faces were doing the same, double - checking supplies and ammo before patrols were to be sent out. he'd been so completely in his own world, the sound of her voice sends him reeling until he's turned completely to face her.

@kcntsugi asked: don't go. it's safer here. / dina

he would be lying if her worry didn't send a bittersweet shock to his chest. " i ain't afraid of a few runners making their way down the mountain, and you shouldn't be either. " he offers her a small smile, his lips turning upward almost imperceptibly. " goin' out there keeps this place safe. maybe this'll be the last run - in we have for a while. "

[keepfight1n]

they'd only packed the necessities. jackson wasn't going anywhere; they could be back within a few hours time for whatever they might need. but leaving was necessary. having already secured only what their horses could safely pull, he found himself climbing the stairs one final time to seek ellie out. he wouldn't mind resting before traveling to the farmhouse out in the country. getting older had been hard enough before; newfound weaknesses were ever present after a day's work on his feet.

he finds her at the dining table. joel wastes little time in sitting beside her, a tired sigh falling from his lips. he wondered where her mind was. if she was ready to go, if she still felt leaving was the right choice. those questions die on his tongue, leaving a bitter taste in their wake, when she speaks.

@infectd asked: i should have been here. this is my fault.

blame weighs heavily inside this house. almost suffocating, really. a hollow ache returns to his chest as he thinks about just how much she carries on her shoulders . . . after everything. all the more reason to leave it behind. " ellie, no. " it's said quietly with a shake of his head. he'd made his choices; she'd made hers. they were still standing, weren't they?

" you leave that here when we go. " if either of them were to atone, it certainly wasn't her. his shoulders slump with the weight of her words. " ain't no room for faults when we leave. not when you're the only one who thinks you deserve it. "

[keepfight1n]

the coffee beans !!!!

[casanovawrites]

random sentence prompts  ━ from various tv shows, part 11

you’ve been such a pain in my ass.

you’re the most fascinating person i’ve ever known.

can you stop needing to be the hero here?

people don’t just disappear. 

we are saying goodbye. just not to each other. we’re saying goodbye to everything else, our old lives.

everything that kept us safe is gone.

i would rather prepare for the worst before the worst happens.

i am basically 100% headache right now.

you’re the only one who ever let me feel normal.

maybe i suck too. i just don’t know how yet.

i’m not choosing anyone. i’m choosing work over play.

doesn’t it feel like everyone wants us to be someone we’re not?

a sleepover? am i invited?

it has to be you. you’re all we’ve got.

you know me. we know each other.

it’s called keeping up with the times, asshole.

but fuck all of you, and i mean that.

people don’t usually follow my lead, if you know what i mean.

there’s nothing wrong with us.

i want your point of view on things.

you’re killing me. you get that, right? that’s what you’re asking me. to die for you.

i’ll follow your rules. that’s all you get.

i’d love to trade witty one-liners with you.

you’re the worst. you know that, right?

today is the first time in my life that feels like the right time.

there is a point to everything. there are answers.

god doesn’t just play games with people for fun.

the sun just keeps coming up every day, and you can’t cry forever. 

you have to have hope, don’t you? because who knows. maybe tomorrow.

you don’t get to decide what matters.

a lot of what’s happening is us being scared, and alone, and bored. so we do scary things to each other, we hurt each other. 

it’s like she wants to turn the whole world upside down.

who’s been there for you more than me?

bullshit. we’re not the same person.

you didn’t pick me. because you didn’t think i belonged.

if i had to pick anyone in the world when things got bad, i’d pick you.

this isn’t about us. this has nothing to do with us.

there is no us. because of everything.

i love you. i know i don’t always show it, but i do. i love you.

the universe does not care about your love life.

i’m not sad. i’m pissed off.

you say too many things you don’t mean.

i’ve thought a lot about dying. i’ve gotten used to that. but i don’t like to be afraid.

sometimes when i’m angry, i want to hurt people.

i’m worried that i’m not real.

all you can do is have an advantage, and this is mine. it’s all i have.

what i did is not the worst crime in the world.

given everything, can’t i get a tiny break?

why? what’s so special about me?

are we going to fight each other over food? that’s fucking crazy.

you can live wherever you want, just not with me.

we should get some food, before it’s all gone.

what if things don’t go back to the way they were?

don’t give me a fucking speech. you have no idea.

i guess i can learn to get along with a few more people.

what’s so hard about being honest with yourself?

it’s been ten days. i’m not the same person i was.

if there are things that need to be done, i want to do them.

there are no sides anymore.

you’re the best decision i’ve ever made.

we’re the same. you have to stick with your own.

i’m scared, and i have to take care of myself.

i live in your shadow, and now you suddenly want to disappear?

you know that you’re the love of my life? and whatever comes after this.

if this is it, this is where i want to be. i mean not here, but with you. you’re where i want to be.

i was a different person before we fell in love.

thank you. for loving me. 

right now, we could use all the love we can get. 

you get scared, and you get mean.

is this how you want to spend the time you have left? always looking over your shoulder?

you’re giving me a headache instead of having my back.

it’s just, sometimes i know what i want, i just don’t know how to say it.

the only feelings that anyone cares about are yours. 

people keep dying around me.

i feel really lucky to have you. you’re my rock.

the end is none of your business.

i like you exactly the way you are.

i’m so sick of feeling different from everyone else.

after “fuck you,” i don’t have much.

i think about you too much.

i don’t think about you.

i’m not scared. i’m just realistic.

it feels like i’ve been starting forever.

no one cares about the best player on the worst team.

i’m tired of losing. i just don’t know what to do.

that’s hopelessly romantic. and this isn’t hopeless.

i haven’t been happy all year. why start now?

i’m sorry i can’t turn off my feelings whenever you want.

seems like everything i do hurts your feelings.

i care about you. i just don’t know how to prove it.

i like who i am in your eyes. i like how you see me.

i’m not sure i like myself in a relationship.

i’m way easier to replace.

when it ends, it’ll hurt.

the right thing is just to be here with you.

death is not beautiful, it’s final.

i keep failing everyone, and i don’t know what to do.

i don’t feel sad. i feel numb.

i ask people if they’re all right too much.

you never needed me. you needed someone.

i made myself sick to make you feel better.

this whole time i thought it was dying, but it’s living what scares you

you’re afraid to commit, and i need constant validation. 

you don’t belong here. not after what you did.

there is no mystery here. nothing to avenge.

i made a wish, and it came true, and i couldn’t take it back.

he was a bad person and a worse father. the world is better off without him.

you never know when to stop, do you?

you do whatever it takes to survive. or you die.

you think i didn’t try everything to get back to my family?

[pedrohub]

PEDRO PASCAL & BELLA RAMSEY The Last of Us Season 2