I adore this. But there is so much more to his proposals as well.
If you look at his proposals as a whole.
In the first he really is an ass. He starts the proposal by telling her how unworthy she is due to her family's social standing. He goes on to say that his growing feelings for her are a source of pain for him.
"In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.''
He follows up by daying that he goes against the wishes of his family, his friends and even his own better judgement. That any connection between them is "highly reprehensible" but that it cannot be helped.
His words contradict his claim of "ardently admiring" her.
When he actually proposes he states how he has experienced a growing regard for her which "despite my stuggles has overcome any rational objection" which he follows with " i beg you most fervently to relieve my suffering and consent to be my wife"
When she accuses him of separating Jane and Bingley he admits to doing so and says that "to Bingley i have been kinder than to myself", again showing how he views this match as unfavourable to him.
His second proposal is vastly different.
It follows when she thanks him for helping Lydia.
Here he expresses "if you thank me let it be for yourself alone...Your family owes me nothing. Much as i respect them, i thought of you alone."
He shows that he has come to respect Lizzy's family, even though he only thought of her when he helped.
Thee proposal that follows also shows how he changes.
He starts by saying that " you are too generous to trifle with me" and that "if your feelings are unchanged...one word will silence me forever on this subject"
In the book Mr Darcy mentions of Lizzy's encounter with his aunt the following: "It taught me to hope," said he, "as I had scarcely ever allowed myself to hope before. I knew enough of your disposition to be certain that, had you been absolutely, irrevocably decided against me, you would have acknowledged it to Lady Catherine, frankly and openly."
Here we see what pushed him to propose to ber again. Knowing her habit of speaking frankly what she felt, he took her words to his aunt to mean that her feelings may have changed and thus he took a chance while still respecting her opinion and also preparing to be rejected once more.
What i particularly love is the way in which the P+P&Z movie adaptation handled his proposal.
Herein Darcy says "you are the love of my life. So i ask you now, half in anguish half in hope. Will you do me the great honor of taking me for your husband."
In that i find the greatest joy.
His first proposal stresses his pain at asking her to be his.
In his second we find him stressing his fear of being rejected again alongside his hope of being happy. And in asking he here reverses the power dynamics by offering himself for her taking instead of claiming her for his taking.
P.S. sorry for the essay. I just really love this story
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