Cosmic Funnies
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Keni
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@kellanaldridge-blog
( he grins when she turns, gently pulling her hair out from underneath the clasp of her necklace. he brings a hand to her cheek, cupping her face in his palm as he kisses her. ) You look beautiful, Vi.
Thank you. I knew you and your crew would do Extra™, so I had to make sure I looked just as good.
You always do, baby.
( he walks up behind her and wraps his arms around her waist, pressing a kiss to her shoulder. ) ———— You ought to dress up more often.
(she smiles, clasping her necklace behind her neck. this dress came out of noah’s wallet; it had to look good for the hell she caught for it. once the necklace is one, she turns and kisses him. ) Look who’s talking.
( he grins when she turns, gently pulling her hair out from underneath the clasp of her necklace. he brings a hand to her cheek, cupping her face in his palm as he kisses her. ) You look beautiful, Vi.
( he walks up behind her and wraps his arms around her waist, pressing a kiss to her shoulder. ) ------------ You ought to dress up more often.
--------- You’re blaming me?
{ MASS TEXT TO PACK }
Kellan: Fuck
Violet: This is a public service announcement. I do not need a goddamn babysitter. I am fine. I've survived worse than a stab, and I promise not to go into cardiac arrest, keel over, and die if let alone for three seconds. Thank you. Get your asses to the fucking hospital.
Kellan: I love you.
Violet: Love you, too. Now get out. I'd push you out the door myself, but you're all the way downstairs, and that's too much movement. Tell Fi I love her, and that I'll come see her when you people stop acting like I'm made of glass.
Violet: And someone find this son of a bitch and make him regret his own existence.
Kellan: ...Couldn't you come with me? She could, couldn't she? If I made sure she was careful?
Marilyn: Why must you be so complicated.
Marilyn: Kellan, head to the hospital. I'll be by Vi's place to pick up her and Eli. We'll meet you there in, like, an hour.
Kellan: Okay
{ MASS TEXT TO PACK }
Elijah: Someone went after Fiona. I think they're taking her to the hospital now.
Declan: What? Fiona? Who would go after her? Why would someone go after her?
Caleb: Same reason they went after Violet, Stephen and Renee. Jesus Christ.
Kellan: ...Fiona? Fiona got attacked?
Elijah: ..Clarke said they called you.
Elijah: She's fine. She's going to be fine. But you need to get to the hospital.
Kellan: Does it fucking seem like somebody called me!?
Kellan: I'm going to fucking kill whoever the fuck did this to her. First Violet, and now Fiona. I swear to God when I get my hands on them they'll never see another fucking day.
Effie: This isn't Eli's fault. He didn't know. Don't yell at him.
Effie: It's not the same guy. Clarke said Noah took care of the guy who went after Vi. No one would be dumb enough to piss him off twice. This is someone else.
Kellan: I don't fucking care who it is, I'll kill him!
Kellan: He tried to kill my sister...!
Holden: Kell, you need to calm down
Ella: We know. And you have every right to be pissed off. No one blames you for that. Let's get to the hospital, okay? All of us. We need to be there for her.
Tatum: Agreed. Everyone get to the hospital.
Elijah: I'm heading over to Vi's place now. I'll stay with her while you're at the hospital.
Kellan: Fuck, I can't leave Violet...!
Marilyn: Violet will be fine. Your sister needs you right now, Kellan.
Kellan: Fuck
Violet: This is a public service announcement. I do not need a goddamn babysitter. I am fine. I've survived worse than a stab, and I promise not to go into cardiac arrest, keel over, and die if let alone for three seconds. Thank you. Get your asses to the fucking hospital.
Kellan: I love you.
Violet: Love you, too. Now get out. I'd push you out the door myself, but you're all the way downstairs, and that's too much movement. Tell Fi I love her, and that I'll come see her when you people stop acting like I'm made of glass.
Violet: And someone find this son of a bitch and make him regret his own existence.
Kellan: ...Couldn't you come with me? She could, couldn't she? If I made sure she was careful?
{ MASS TEXT TO PACK }
Elijah: Someone went after Fiona. I think they're taking her to the hospital now.
Declan: What? Fiona? Who would go after her? Why would someone go after her?
Caleb: Same reason they went after Violet, Stephen and Renee. Jesus Christ.
Kellan: ...Fiona? Fiona got attacked?
Elijah: ..Clarke said they called you.
Elijah: She's fine. She's going to be fine. But you need to get to the hospital.
Kellan: Does it fucking seem like somebody called me!?
Kellan: I'm going to fucking kill whoever the fuck did this to her. First Violet, and now Fiona. I swear to God when I get my hands on them they'll never see another fucking day.
Effie: This isn't Eli's fault. He didn't know. Don't yell at him.
Effie: It's not the same guy. Clarke said Noah took care of the guy who went after Vi. No one would be dumb enough to piss him off twice. This is someone else.
Kellan: I don't fucking care who it is, I'll kill him!
Kellan: He tried to kill my sister...!
Holden: Kell, you need to calm down
Ella: We know. And you have every right to be pissed off. No one blames you for that. Let's get to the hospital, okay? All of us. We need to be there for her.
Tatum: Agreed. Everyone get to the hospital.
Elijah: I'm heading over to Vi's place now. I'll stay with her while you're at the hospital.
Kellan: Fuck, I can't leave Violet...!
Marilyn: Violet will be fine. Your sister needs you right now, Kellan.
Kellan: Fuck
Violet: This is a public service announcement. I do not need a goddamn babysitter. I am fine. I've survived worse than a stab, and I promise not to go into cardiac arrest, keel over, and die if let alone for three seconds. Thank you. Get your asses to the fucking hospital.
Kellan: I love you.
{ MASS TEXT TO PACK }
Elijah: Someone went after Fiona. I think they're taking her to the hospital now.
Declan: What? Fiona? Who would go after her? Why would someone go after her?
Caleb: Same reason they went after Violet, Stephen and Renee. Jesus Christ.
Kellan: ...Fiona? Fiona got attacked?
Elijah: ..Clarke said they called you.
Elijah: She's fine. She's going to be fine. But you need to get to the hospital.
Kellan: Does it fucking seem like somebody called me!?
Kellan: I'm going to fucking kill whoever the fuck did this to her. First Violet, and now Fiona. I swear to God when I get my hands on them they'll never see another fucking day.
Effie: This isn't Eli's fault. He didn't know. Don't yell at him.
Effie: It's not the same guy. Clarke said Noah took care of the guy who went after Vi. No one would be dumb enough to piss him off twice. This is someone else.
Kellan: I don't fucking care who it is, I'll kill him!
Kellan: He tried to kill my sister...!
Holden: Kell, you need to calm down
Ella: We know. And you have every right to be pissed off. No one blames you for that. Let's get to the hospital, okay? All of us. We need to be there for her.
Tatum: Agreed. Everyone get to the hospital.
Elijah: I'm heading over to Vi's place now. I'll stay with her while you're at the hospital.
Kellan: Fuck, I can't leave Violet...!
Marilyn: Violet will be fine. Your sister needs you right now, Kellan.
Kellan: Fuck
{ MASS TEXT TO PACK }
Elijah: Someone went after Fiona. I think they're taking her to the hospital now.
Declan: What? Fiona? Who would go after her? Why would someone go after her?
Caleb: Same reason they went after Violet, Stephen and Renee. Jesus Christ.
Kellan: ...Fiona? Fiona got attacked?
Elijah: ..Clarke said they called you.
Elijah: She's fine. She's going to be fine. But you need to get to the hospital.
Kellan: Does it fucking seem like somebody called me!?
Kellan: I'm going to fucking kill whoever the fuck did this to her. First Violet, and now Fiona. I swear to God when I get my hands on them they'll never see another fucking day.
Effie: This isn't Eli's fault. He didn't know. Don't yell at him.
Effie: It's not the same guy. Clarke said Noah took care of the guy who went after Vi. No one would be dumb enough to piss him off twice. This is someone else.
Kellan: I don't fucking care who it is, I'll kill him!
Kellan: He tried to kill my sister...!
Holden: Kell, you need to calm down
Ella: We know. And you have every right to be pissed off. No one blames you for that. Let's get to the hospital, okay? All of us. We need to be there for her.
Tatum: Agreed. Everyone get to the hospital.
Elijah: I'm heading over to Vi's place now. I'll stay with her while you're at the hospital.
Kellan: Fuck, I can't leave Violet...!
{ MASS TEXT TO PACK }
Elijah: Someone went after Fiona. I think they're taking her to the hospital now.
Declan: What? Fiona? Who would go after her? Why would someone go after her?
Caleb: Same reason they went after Violet, Stephen and Renee. Jesus Christ.
Kellan: ...Fiona? Fiona got attacked?
Elijah: ..Clarke said they called you.
Elijah: She's fine. She's going to be fine. But you need to get to the hospital.
Kellan: Does it fucking seem like somebody called me!?
Kellan: I'm going to fucking kill whoever the fuck did this to her. First Violet, and now Fiona. I swear to God when I get my hands on them they'll never see another fucking day.
Effie: This isn't Eli's fault. He didn't know. Don't yell at him.
Effie: It's not the same guy. Clarke said Noah took care of the guy who went after Vi. No one would be dumb enough to piss him off twice. This is someone else.
Kellan: I don't fucking care who it is, I'll kill him!
Kellan: He tried to kill my sister...!
{ MASS TEXT TO PACK }
Elijah: Someone went after Fiona. I think they're taking her to the hospital now.
Declan: What? Fiona? Who would go after her? Why would someone go after her?
Caleb: Same reason they went after Violet, Stephen and Renee. Jesus Christ.
Kellan: ...Fiona? Fiona got attacked?
Elijah: ..Clarke said they called you.
Elijah: She's fine. She's going to be fine. But you need to get to the hospital.
Kellan: Does it fucking seem like somebody called me!?
Kellan: I'm going to fucking kill whoever the fuck did this to her. First Violet, and now Fiona. I swear to God when I get my hands on them they'll never see another fucking day.
{ MASS TEXT TO PACK }
Elijah: Someone went after Fiona. I think they're taking her to the hospital now.
Declan: What? Fiona? Who would go after her? Why would someone go after her?
Caleb: Same reason they went after Violet, Stephen and Renee. Jesus Christ.
Kellan: ...Fiona? Fiona got attacked?
{ MASS TEXT TO PACK (sans ariel, stephen) }
Fiona: She's drunk off her ass and I took her phone
Fiona: I deleted the conversation off of it.
Marilyn: Good thinking. Here's what we're going to do. Declan and Kellan go to Caleb's house. Violet, you can only go if you can go five steps without needing a break. I mean it, don't upset that wound. Caleb, Holden, try to talk to him first, see if you can get him to cool off a bit before the pups get there. Ella, Adie, we're going to head over to Ariel's.
Marilyn: Eli, Noah and Fi, you're on Renee duty. Sober her up, and in the morning, talk her down. Cedric and Tatum, invite Loki out.
Marilyn: Everyone else, refrain from getting involved until you receive further instruction. Good?
Everyone: Good
[ twenty minutes later ]
Noah: Someone slap the shit out of that asshole. Preferably with a car.
Kellan: The hell did he do?
I know you don’t. But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to protect you.
You shouldn’t worry about me. This is about Stephen and Ne. They’re the ones that I’m worried about. They need the protection more than I do.
They have the entire pack. I'm staying with you.
You are not doing anything, Violet. You’re not going anywhere until this psycho is off the streets and you can run twenty laps without so much as a cramp. I’m not going to let you get hurt again.
I’m not an invalid, Kellan. I’ll be fine. If Ryker hadn’t freaked out, it wouldn’t even seem so bad. It’s not the first time I’ve been stabbed, and it’s not nearly as bad. I don’t need to be put under protection.
I know you don't. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to protect you.
I’m sure he’ll be fine with it. It could have been any of us. It could have been him. Or Fiona. He would be furious about it.
I know that. But it’s still his friend. I want to tell him before we start snapping necks or anything.
You are not doing anything, Violet. You're not going anywhere until this psycho is off the streets and you can run twenty laps without so much as a cramp. I'm not going to let you get hurt again.
Go. Please, Steph. Go with Declan. I’ll be fine. I just need to know that you guys are safe.
Promise me that you’ll be safe.
I'll do my best.
