Kelli M Wilkinson @kelli-holmes-blog - Tumblr Blog

Captain Couch

Pairing: Ray Manchester/AFAB!Reader Summary: You've been working at Junk-N-Stuff for about half a year now, so one would think you'd be used to your manager--Ray Manchester--'s bullshit by now. Unfortunately, Ray is the disappointment that keeps on disappointing, especially these past few days after getting sprayed with Jolly Beetle tears. Completely giving up on fixing the issue, Ray rots away in the Man Cave. Much to your annoyance, he still finds a way to get on your nerves without ever getting up. Let's be honest though, when is he not getting on your nerves?

Warnings: smut, dirty talk, dry humping, hate sex (kinda), unresolved sexual tension, smoking, arguing, afab reader

Two days.

It's been two days since Captain Man got sprayed with the Jolly Beetle tears and consequently lost his invulnerability.

The longest two days of your life.

While you were just the other Junk-N-Stuff employee and thus didn’t have a need to travel down to the Man Cave often, part of your job was to keep an eye on the Man Cave monitor for security reasons. So you’ve been watching Ray shovel food into his mouth for two days, living in the same set of pajamas that no doubt smell like food and body odor.

Currently you were trying to finish up writing your midterm paper on Swellview pollution, but was unfortunately distracted by Ray’s actions on the monitor.

“Don’t..” you mumble, watching him lifelessly eat his breakfast waffles, a glob of syrup spilling onto his shirt. He stared at it while chewing the impossibly large bite he took from the offending waffle. When he was through chewing he stared at the syrup spill on his shirt, picking up another waffle.

“Don’t-“ you sigh, pinching your eyes together. “Don’t use the shirt syrup.. Don’t—He did it. He used the shirt syrup.” You watch as Ray took his new waffle and smeared it all over his stain, soaking up shirt-syrup before taking another large bite.

A few hours later after selling some junk, you head back to the desk to peek at the monitor, checking up on Ray. He was spread out on the couch like a starfish, playing Wii Sport tennis with bare-minimum movement. “Christ…” You sigh. He was losing.

Not too long after watching Ray play (and lose) Wii Bowling, Henry returned from his mission of saving a lady from drowning in a pond. You winced, watching Henry yell at Ray while the man kept spooning canned meat into his mouth. Disgusting...

“Go.”

You turn to see Gooch back from his break, sipping on a blue raspberry slurpee and sunglasses still on his face. After working with Gooch for the last 6 months, you’ve gotten used to his limited speech. In a way, you appreciate it and sometimes prefer it over small talk. Makes it easier to understand people.

Not that you understand people at all.

You grab your jacket and head outside, wincing at the sudden brightness of the sun and wishing you had your own shades to wear. Walking over to the alley a few buildings down, you pull out a smoke and a lighter, taking a puff while checking your phone. You see the headlines.

Kid Danger Saves Norwegian Tourist from Swellview Lake!

Escaped Tiger Returned to Zoo by Kid Danger; Captain Man Not a Cat Person?

Rolex Robbers Stopped by Kid Danger; Captain Man Tardy to the Party

You feel bad for the kid, really.

Part of you understands why the Captain is so afraid— he’s never really been vulnerable before. You remember yesterday when he came running into the store freaking out about a bee sting. It reminded you of when you were a kid, crying to the camp counselor after getting stung. You almost felt bad for the Captain.

But then you remembered he’s a 30 year old man paying a pre-teen $9.00 an hour to put himself in mortal danger all alone; so you shoved a bag of ice in Ray’s chest and told him to cry you a river.

“I’m assuming you know those cause cancer right?”

You look up to see Charlotte, her backpack strung over one shoulder and a single eyebrow quirked in judgment.

“Do they?” You hum in fake-thought. “I thought everyone was just faking it.” You smile but put out the cigarette nonetheless; you wanna be a good influence (though, you’re pretty sure Charlotte’s too smart to ever pick up the habit). “How’s it going Charlotte? Speaking of, discover the cure for cancer yet?”

She rolls her eyes. “Yeah- not smoking that crap.”

“Touché.”

She adjusts the weight of her rucksack. “Is Ray in?”

You scoff. “Oh yeah, he’s in alright. Pretty sure he’s permanently glued himself to the couch with syrup.”

Charlotte’s nose crinkles in slight disgust. “Hm.. Charming.” She continues. “Anyway, I did some digging and I found something that might help him.”

You can’t help the snort that escapes you. “Yeah good luck with that, girl. The guy’s got zero motivation; he’s completely given up. I don’t even think Pamela Anderson would be able to get him off the couch.”

Charlotte tilts her head. “Who?”

“Pamela Anderson? Super hot model?” You try again. “Baywatch?”

She slowly shakes her head. “Unfamiliar with who or what a Baywatch is. Have you tried using Henry’s mom?”

It was your turn to look confused.

Charlotte sighed. “He’s really into Henry’s mom. It’s super gross.”

Ray being attracted to a (probably) super hot suburban mom with her life together? Typical.

You felt the need for another smoke.

Charlotte seemed to remember why she came. “I need to go see Ray.” She headed off for the entrance of Junk-N-Stuff. “See ya later!”

You mumble a goodbye and light up another cigarette.

Your thoughts drift back to Ray, wondering if Charlotte’s news will indeed get him out of the slump. The information Charlotte gave you made you snicker quietly.

So. Henry’s mom does it for the Captain, huh?

You and Captain Man—Ray—didn’t talk much. In fact, it would be accurate to say you two didn’t exactly get along. While it’s true keeping an eye on him and aiding his superhero activities was part of your job, your relationship with him did not extend farther than that. Working your ass off at school and a second job was exhausting, so clocking in to Junk-N-Stuff to see Ray playing Guitar Hero still in his pajamas irked you slightly; however, you do recognize he does fight crime to keep Swellview safe, so the irritation is irrational and brief.

But then you look at him.

And the irrational irritation comes back.

Like an itch, the annoyance you feel for Ray originates from an unknown source and drives you crazy.

Maybe it’s his arrogant attitude?

His stupidly large biceps?

His disregard for Henry and Charlotte?

His obnoxiously broad chest?

His vanity?

A mystery, truly.

So finding out something personal about Ray, such as his type in women, was humorous to you-- like learning a useless secret about your boss.

You continue to smoke in the alleyway for a bit before your brain is scratched with idle curiosity, encouraging you to pull out your phone. After doing some Facebook stalking, you let out a low whistle.

Huh…wonder if Henry’s mom ever gets lonely.

Charlotte’s research did not, in fact, get him out of the slump. After your break, you resumed your position at the desk while Gooch worked on his own tasks in the back. A glance at the monitor showed Ray exactly where he was when you left: on the couch in his sweatpants. You bite back a groan. He’s such a child.

A ping on your mobile alerted you of a new message. Fishing out your phone from your back pocket, you see a new text message— from Ray of all people.

Again, you don't get along with Ray.

For a superhero, he’s annoyingly arrogant— which grinds your gears. Likewise, you’re pretty sure your sarcasm and smartass attitude gets under his skin. Whenever you two do interact, it’s extremely tense; like the wrong word will cause someone to snap.

You two do not get along at all. Which is fine- you hardly have to talk to him anyway. Exchanging numbers was mostly for work-related business. On your second week, after passing each other frequently with no exchanges past the initial interview, he had given you a slip of paper containing his phone number. He said nothing else; just looked anywhere but you before retreating back to the man cave.

‘My boss is so damn weird’ You thought back then.

Your last text from Ray read:

Ray-Ray: I’m expecting an interview with someone around 3. Send him clown.

Ray-Ray: Down*

You: okay

Your newest text from him reads:

Ray-Ray: 7876.

You furrow your brows in confusion.

What?

You: what?

On the monitor you see Ray look at his phone. He begins texting with an unphased expression on his face.

Ray-Ray: I ordered food. That’s the pin number for the delivery guy. Bring it down to me when it gets here.

Anger flashes through you.

The audacity!

You: im not your slave get it yourself

Ray-Ray: You’re my employee. Which is basically the same thing.

You: don’t u have a snack machine that can make literally anything

Ray-Ray It doesn’t hit the same.

Ray-Ray: Also I don’t wanna get up :P

You had half a mind to send the last 7 hours of camera footage to the news. The true nature of Captain Man.

“Delivery for Raymond?”

You look up to see an energetic 20 year old holding a sealed bag of Thai food. You’re tempted to risk all secrecy and identities by sending her down yourself, but her next words stop you.

“The instructions say ‘bring to the grouchy lady at the desk with the botched haircut’?”

Oh. My. God. He's gonna regret acting like this when he’s vulnerable to ass-kickings.

You plaster on your best smile and take the bag, not being careful with the contents at all. “Yep. That’s me.”

“Perfect! Could I just get the pin?”

You recite the 7876 back to her while she types it away. You open up the bag and see a take-out container of Pad Thai. Typical.

The delivery girl speaks up again, nervous this time. “Oh gosh, I’m so sorry. I know you already opened the food but I have to take a picture of it.” She laughs awkwardly. “Proof of delivery and all that.”

You smile once more.

“Of course.” You grab the pencil sharpener next to your unfinished midterm paper and empty the contents all over the food, pencil shavings and graphite spilling all over the hot noodles. “Don’t forget the flash.”

Posing for the photo with a certain hand gesture, the delivery girl gives you a weird look and takes the picture, leaving without another word.

Fuming, you grab his food and march towards the elevator, yelling to Gooch you’re going downstairs. Pressing the button, you clutch the container and hold your breath. You hate this part.

The ground seemingly plummets to the floor as the elevator drops at an unprecedented rate, your screams echoing around the elevator shaft.

When the elevator slams to a stop and your knees buckle to the ground, you know you’ve made it to the Man Cave. The door slides open with a relaxing chime, and you smell him before you see him.

Dear God.

Captain Man, hero of Swellview, was sprawled on the couch in the same pajamas you saw on the monitor playing Animal Crossing. His villager just got stung by a swarm of wasps.

“I’m not even invulnerable on a perfect island utopia…”

“Hey bossman.” You stumble at first when you first get to your feet, but you’re quickly storming over to him. “Your food.” You practically drop the bagged food on his chest.

“Hey hey hey! Careful!” He scrambles up to a sitting position, picking up the food and looking at you in alarm. “That could’ve burned me! Or bruised me, or–”

“If you don’t shut the hell up I’m gonna bruise you.”

He blinked in surprise, looking gobsmacked with his half-opened takeout in his lap.

“Watching you these past few days has been a nightmare. A nightmare, Ray! I have never, in my life, been more embarrassed just looking at another person. Eating cold meat? From a can?! What the hell man!” You realized in your haze of anger, you didn’t really prepare a speech or anything. Now you were just spilling everything out. “Look, I get your having some sort of crisis or something. Yes yes, the idea of getting hurt is scary. Newsflash buddy: no shit! You of all people know the kind of jankass city we live in! I walk to class everyday knowing I could just be attacked by the plethora of freaks that terrorize Swellview. Is my phone going to get eaten by a human shark? I don’t know. Is my morning commute going to be ruined by a grown man dressed as a toddler? It happened—twice!”

You take a deep breath, feeling your anger start to consume you. You continue with a more calm voice. “But that doesn’t stop me from going to work everyday, or stop me from living my life. As scared as I’ve ever been, I’ve never become a lump on a couch eating meat out of a can.”

It’s quiet as Ray stares at you, processing all the words you vomited out at him.

“Hey...” He looks down at his food for a solid minute. You think he's finally about to apologize for being a piece of shit when he raises to look back up at you. “Are these pencil shavings in my Pad Thai?”

Alright.

Before you could stop to think about it, you pinned him down to the couch and held your forearm to his throat. Your other hand comes up to grip his hair, yanking his head back.

“Listen, asshole. Wallow in your own filth like a pig for all I care, send Henry off to do your job until he drops dead, waste away down here like some loser who cried over a bee sting.”

“That-”

The arm on his throat came up to quickly clamp down on his mouth, silencing him with your hand.

“Shut up!” With his mouth covered and head pulled back by his hair, you had a clear view of his eyes and the freckled skin surrounding it. Sun-kissed skin and warm, blue eyes stared up at you in shock.

You continued, putting more weight on him to keep him pinned. “Become a pathetic has-been for all I care. But do not ever treat me like your slave again.” Your grip on his hair tightened as you grew more frustrated. “I’m not your sidekick and I’m definitely not your fucking mommy. Got it? So either get the fuck up, or grow the fuck up.”

But Ray just continued to stare up at you with wide eyes, breath puffing out of his nose heavily. After a moment of no one saying anything you start to feel insecure, like he wasn’t taking you seriously.

Tightening your grip on his brown hair, you pull it harder.

“I said do you understand–”

The second you yanked his hair, two hands flew to grab your hips tightly. His eyes screwed shut for a split second before fluttering back open to look into yours.

Um. What the hell was that.

You stared back at him, your disturbed and confused eyes meeting his wide ones.

For a second you think he’s going to throw you off of him—

Wait.

He easily could’ve thrown me off this whole time. He may not have his invulnerability, but he’s still a man with muscles and fighting skills. Why hasn’t he thrown me off yet?

You wrack your brain for an answer.

Did I hurt him? Was it when I pulled his hair?

Experimentally, you curl your fingers through brunette strands to get a firmer grip before tightly and slowly pulling his hair.

The muffled grunt from under your hand told you all you needed to know.

Huh.

What an exhilarating feeling, knowing you were causing pain to the once indestructible Captain Man. The guy was afraid of nothing and never worried about feeling pain—ever. You’ve literally seen him do a backflip off a building before falling 50 feet.

“Oh,” you frown, moving his head slightly to remind him of the hold you have on him. His blue eyes followed yours as you pouted in mockery. “Does that hurt?”

You laugh, adjusting yourself so your knees press into his sides more, part of you hoping it hurts, and settle onto his leg while you continue mocking him.

When he flinched, you took that as confirmation.

“Oh come on! This is pathetic, Ray! You’re 90% muscle and been shot at more times than all Presidents combined- and yet a bee sting and little hair pulling is all it takes to bring down the mighty Captain Man?”

You move your hand away from his mouth (since he wasn’t moving it himself with his free hands... for whatever reason) to hear his retort to your taunts. You waited for him to throw you off, get to his feet in a fit of insecurity, and get his ass back in the field to prove nothing can take down the mighty Captain Man.

Except he didn’t do any of that.

Instead, his chapped lips were parted as heavy breaths escaped him. Ray’s eyes flickered to your lips for a brief moment, licking his dry lips quickly before returning his gaze back to your eyes; except this time, his ocean eyes looked a shade darker than they just did.

You blinked.

Then blinked again.

Uh. What.

For whatever reason— maybe the sight of him looking at yours— you felt the compulsion to look at his lips. Your eyes flickered from scared blue eyes to parted lips.

They looked.. normal. Jesus does his breath reek though. Like meat and—

Realizing you can smell his breath, you looked back up, seeing how close you’ve been to him this whole time.

Your ears burned slightly once you realized you’ve been quiet for a hot minute, maybe even caught looking at his lips. Fearing losing control over the situation, your hands tighten on his hair once more, harsher than you meant to. Your free hand fists the fabric of his stained shirt and robe, hoping to snap the attention away from where he was currently looking.

“HEY, answer me—“

This time, when you pulled his hair, his hands gripped your hips tighter and pulled you even closer as he moved his leg under you.

You thought that this was it— this is where he throws you off.

Except he doesn’t.

Because that’s not his leg.

You glance down, preparing to meet the floor, only to see you haven't been on his leg throughout this entire exchange.

You’ve been on his dick.

His very erect dick.

You stare down between you two as it all clicks into place.

The groans; the hands; the not fighting back; the sneaked look; his—

You swallow.

“Do-“ You can’t believe you’re about to say this—to Ray of all people. “Do you.. like— ?”

“N-No..” His voice cracks. He swallows, still looking at you before scoffing. “Pfft. No. Definitely not.”

You stare at him and everything sinks in.

“Oh.. my god—“

“Listen it’s not what it—“

“Holy shit Ray—“

“You were the one that got on me—“

“Because I was pissed off! Not because I wanted to…” you trail off, too flustered to say anything. “Not because of anything!” You scoff, allowing yourself to look him up and down with disgust. “Your breath smells disgusting and your shirt smells even worse. Trust me— there is nothing about you I am even remotely interested in.”

He narrows his eyes and returns the judgmental up-and-down look of you. “And what, you think I am? You smell like a chain smoker and dress like Jesse Pinkman.” He scoffs. “Trust me— there is nothing about you that’s remotely attractive.”

You gape at him in anger.

“At least I have basic fucking hygiene! You’ve only gotten up three times—THREE TIMES— in the past two days! Are you telling me you’ve only had to piss three times?!”

“Ew! Why have you been watching me for two days?! That’s freaking creepy!”

Before you could respond, he continued his tirade. “Besides, there is no way in hell I’m getting a lecture on health from someone who smokes cancer sticks!”

You open your mouth to respond but he cuts you off again, pulling you down closer to him with hands that are still on your waist!

He laughs in disbelief. “Also–HA– have you seen me? I’m everyone’s type, sweetheart.” Shut up. “Unlike you, I have something to show off— my super fit bod.” Please god shut up. “I mean, pfft, how could I be attracted to something no one has ever seen? Who knows what unattractive, disfigured blob is hiding behind all these Adam Sandler clothes—“

SHUT UP!

In a fit of frustration, you tangle your hands through his hair, not caring if you scraped his scalp, and pull on the unwashed strands—hard.

Ray promptly shuts up, his offending words being cut off with a groan instead. His eyes squeeze shut and his hands tighten on your hips.

You don’t even like Ray.

You two do not get along— that much is obvious. You have no desire to change that, or no desire to change his opinion on you.

But goddamn you were one competitive son of a bitch.

And you’ll be damned if you aren’t the one with the last word.

So you scrape his scalp with your nails and promptly grind against his erection, rolling your hips and not breaking eye contact.

You chuckle when Ray’s mouth opens in a breathless groan.

“Don’t lie Ray. You like this.”

“No I—“

You roll your hips again, taking immense pleasure in the power you have over the superhero.

“No?” you smirk down at him, yanking his head up to look at you when it drops. You get closer to his face, holding his head in place while you whisper against his lips. “So that’s not your hard-on I feel through your sweatpants?”

Ray swallows, gaze flickering to your lips.

The hand that was bunched in his shirt travels down, roaming over the top of his sweatpants. Slowly, you slip it inside and tug on the waistband of his boxers before going to cup his cock through the fabric of his boxers.

Holy fuck. Captain Man is packing!

Ignoring that thought, you continue to feel up his hardening length through the fabric, the sensation almost enough to make you moan, but you hold it in.

You lean down to the side of his neck and whisper against his skin there. “I think you are enjoying this. In fact…” You lick up the side of his neck, sucking his pulse point. You hear him hiss above you and feel the roll of his hips against your hand. You pull it back and smirk, whispering against his glistening skin. “...I think you want me to keep going.”

You pull away to take a look at his face. His pupils are blown wide, cheeks flushed, and his chest is heaving with want.

You have no idea where this confidence in you has come from. You can’t even tell the TA to go fuck herself when she grades your paper like you killed her puppy. All you know is that right now, at this very moment, you’re pissed off.

And maybe a little turned on.

You roll your hips again, this time slow and firm, and finally let out a soft moan at the sight of him falling apart beneath you.

“Yeah? You want–”

You don’t get to finish your taunt because you’re interrupted. Rudely.

By Ray.

Crashing his lips onto yours.

It’s messy and uncoordinated, has more teeth than lips, and so unbelievably hot.

You gasp into his mouth when he bites down on your bottom lip, which he takes advantage of to ravish your mouth with his tongue. His disgusting, unwashed and canned meat-flavored tongue.

“You…taste…so gross..” You get out in puffs of breaths in between each crushing kiss. You grind your hips down onto him, noticing a dampness in your panties you weren’t sure how long it's been there.

“You taste so fucking disgusting.” He groans, bringing your hips down to meet his thrusts. “Like cigarettes and coffee.” His mouth engulfs yours once more, tongue exploring your mouth like a man starving.

“Shut up.”

You break apart the kiss. With a string of drool connecting your mouths, you yank his head back, going down to mark up the exposed skin once more.

Except you don’t get to because suddenly you find yourself flipped, with Ray above you and a hand pinning your wrists above you.

“W-What..” Dazed and confused, you look up at Ray to see him smirking victoriously at you, lips swollen and raspberry marks on his neck.

And that’s when it really hits you:

Ray is…big.

You always knew that, you’re not fucking blind.

But it really sinks in now.

His broad shoulders span across the entirety of your vision. A single one of his hands is large enough to grip both of your wrists together above your head, giving you a perfect angle of his giant bicep flexing. His large chest was heaving, and his other large hand traveled down to palm at your dampening center.

You gasp at the feeling, tugging against the restraint.

“You are such a fucking brat.”

After unbuttoning the top of your pants and undoing the zipper, his hand moves to slip inside your jeans, feeling the object of your shame even from the outside of your panties. He groans at the touch.

“Fuck…you’re so wet.”

You’ve never heard Captain Man curse before today. (Shamefully, it kinda turned you on.) “Damn sweet cheeks…I don’t think I’m the one who wants something here.” He clicks his tongue at you, moving a finger to trace the entrance of your pussy through the cotton of your panties. You bite down on your lips to stop the whimper about to escape you, tugging at his iron-clad grip once more.

“Ray…”

Some sort of restraint snapped in Ray then, because after you said his name, his mouth was attacking your neck.

“Fuck,” you breathe, your hips involuntarily bucking up as he bends to kiss your neck. Your mouth falls open at the feeling of Ray’s hot breath against your jugular, the quick flicks of his tongue as he plants open-mouthed kisses from the base of your throat to the sensitive spot below your ear. You unconsciously tilt your head to give him access, leaning back further as he nips at the skin there. His free hand continues to rub your entrance from outside of your panties, soaking your underwear even further. His thumb traces the edge of your panties, teasing you for a moment by pulling on them, before his hand slips back out to the outside of your jeans to rub over over the rough material, holding down your waist. His scruffy five o’clock shadow scrapes your skin raw, right over the pulse point. Despite laying down, you feel your legs start to shake– with arousal or anger, you’re not sure. Probably both. “God..” you groan in frustration at being put in this position. “F-Fuck you.”

“Yeah?” he asks between kisses, the vibration of his husky voice making you shiver. Ray takes the time to suck at one spot in particular, drawing a whine from you, before he pulls back. Your chest heaves in exertion, and you just register the taste of blood in your mouth– as you didn’t realize you’ve been biting down on your lip. Once your hazy vision clears a bit, you look up to see Ray leaning over you, his bicep flexing even from under his grey shirt as he continues pining you down. His eyes are dark, his lips flushed and parted slightly as he catches his breath.

You almost vomit at the intruding thought that he looks kind of good like this.

He smirks down at you. “I knew you wanted me.”

Okay that’s it.

Hooking your leg around his waist, you use all your strength to flip your bodies, counting on the momentum to be enough to overpower his strength.

Straddling him once more, legs pinning down his, you once again grab a fistful of hair and regain control.

Yanking his head to the side, you hiss in his ear.

“Listen Captain Munch, I think you’re forgetting something here.”

“I–”

“Shut up.”

Ensuring he would indeed shut up, you use your other hand to reach up and slightly choke his throat. Not enough to hurt him or cut off any air, but enough to make him shut the hell up. Ray groaned, and you could feel just how excited the Captain really was from your spot on his groin. His hands once more found a place on your hips, fingers gripping you tightly. Even through the thick material of your jeans, you could feel his hard length pressing into you.

“The thought of your sweaty, unwashed dick being anywhere near me makes my skin crawl,” You growl in his ear. “Even before you got sprayed with the tears of the Jolly Beetle and became a giant pussy, you have always pissed me off. Having no regard for your employees, flirting with every set of boobs in the state,” You remember the Fourth of July cookout he threw at the store where he juggled three different women at once.

“--And being an unbearable, arrogant prick every chance you get. And now? Now that you can feel pain like everyone else, you’re acting like the world ended– like being normal is some sort of curse and poorer quality of life.”

Making sure he’s still paying attention, you nip at his earlobe and slightly apply pressure to his throat. You feel his hips buck up into yours and a groan of your name escapes his lips.

Ignoring the tingle the sound of your name from him gives you, you continue to growl in his ear. “No one liked you because you were some buff, indestructible superhero that fought crime; they liked you because you’re literally indestructible and chose to protect them rather than take advantage of them. So get your head out of your ass and Captain Man up.”

It was quiet after you spoke, the only sound filling the silence was the hum of machinery and heavy breathing. For a moment, you think your words finally sunk in for him, and maybe even changed his perspective on–

“….You think I’m buff?”

“Jesus Christ, that’s all you got from that? Are you serious?!”

“Hey, you said it–”

Purely wanting him to shut up, you slam your lips onto his. His lips move roughly and eagerly against yours, tongues fighting for dominance as both of your hips rolled against each other now.

“Fuck,” you breath in between breaks of air. “You’re so full of yourself it’s unbearable.”

“Ugh.. your stupid lip is bleeding,” he grunts out, using his hands to help guide your hips roll against his. “It tastes so gross.”

“Oh yeah?” You moan, no longer bothering to attempt holding it in when you feel his hard length press against you just right through his sweatpants. Part of you was afraid you would start soaking through your jeans.

“You hate it? Here, let me help you with that.”

Without warning, the next slide of his lips against yours ended with you biting down harshly, definitely breaking skin. He groaned in pain as you pulled away from him slowly, still tugging on his bottom lip. Releasing his lip, you saw bright red blood staining his mouth. You then move to suck gently on his upper lip while his hands increase their speed at bringing you down on his no doubt leaking erection through his pants.

He groans your name and screws his eyes shut, cheeks flushed pink.

A sudden realization strikes you and it’s almost enough to make you come right then and there.

“Oh my god,” you try to taunt him with a cruel laugh but it just comes out as a breathless gasp. “You like it, don’t you? I don’t just mean this– I mean you actually get off to the feeling of pain…don’t you?”

He doesn't answer, digging his fingers into your sides instead, hard enough to bruise. He doesn't stop the rhythmic thrusts up to meet the roll of your hips.

Testing your theory, you apply more pressure to his throat, actually choking him slightly this time.

Ray moans, the sound coming out cracked and muffled from being choked. His hips stutter and his hands hold you firmly in place, slamming you against the press of clothed hard-on.

Holy shit.

You laugh deliriously. This newfound realization combined with the hot exertion of your hips and being so close to his heated body made your head spin and sweat.

“How..fucking…ironic..” You pant, leaning down to return the onslaught he gave on your neck earlier. One of his hands comes up to tangle in your hair as you suck and nip at his pulse point, licking at the perspiration that’s appeared on his skin.

“N-No....” He moans.

“Who would’ve thought..” you suck hard at the skin there, finding the taste of his sweat was starting to grow on you.

“It’s not what it..”

“..That Captain Man, indestructible hero of Swellview—“ You pop off of his neck to speak, finding a deep red mark on his neck near where you bruised his skin earlier.

“S-Shit…!” His grip tightens on your hair, pulling it slightly and causing you to groan and grind your clothed pussy against his groin roughly.

“—Had a secret kink for feeling pain..” Satisfied with your work (yet unsure how long it will stay on his skin) you lean back up to glance at his face.

You were not disappointed.

Captain Man, hero of Swellview, looked absolutely wrecked.

Cheeks flushed, half-lidded glassy eyes, and blood smeared across his parted lips that panted out noises you’ll be remembering in your dreams.

“P-Please…” He breathes, hips stuttering. “...I’m almost–”

“Yeah? You gonna come?” You pick up the speed, chasing your own release.

“Yes..!”

“You gonna come in your pants like a pathetic, horny little teenager?”

“Yes! Yes…Fuck... I’m–!”

Just as you felt his body stiffen and hips jerk, you hopped off of Ray onto the linoleum floor.

Breathing heavily, you adjusted your clothes and ran a shaky hand through your hair, hoping the stench of the Man Cave didn’t latch onto your clothes.

Ray’s eyes that were screwed shut a moment ago flickered open. “W-What–”

“Wow..” You let out a long exhale. “That was super gross.”

Blinking a few times, Ray suddenly sprang to a sitting position once he registered what had happened.

“What the hell!”

Admiring the view of Ray still looking wrecked with a very sizable tent in his pants, you scoff at him.

“What, did you actually think I was gonna make you come? Dude, you’ve left Henry to deal with all of Swellview’s crime by himself so you can rot on the couch. No way in hell was I gonna reward you for being a piece of shit.” You crinkle your nose at him and look him up and down, soaking in the sight of Captain Man in this vulnerable state. “Plus, I thought you liked pain. And there’s nothing more painful than blue balls.”

Ray’s jaw drops and he stares at you in disbelief. He wordlessly opened and closed his mouth, speechless. “You—You came all the way down here just to torture me because–” He looks around in anger and confusion. “What, because I was being a jerk?!”

“No, I came down here because you ordered me too boss.” Bending down and picking up the container of Pad Thai, you shove it into his hands. “But I’m glad you recognize you’ve been a dick.”

“I said jerk.”

“That too.”

Ray continues to stare at you, flabbergasted and still flushed, when his watch makes a beeping sound, signaling someone trying to contact him.

He stares at it, then you, and back at the watch. He swallows.

You sigh and crouch down to be more eye level with him.

“Look, do you really wanna stay down here marinating in your own filth and fear like a pathetic, manchild loser,” He gives you a look at your superlatives. “Or do you wanna be Captain Man?”

Ray stares at you for a moment longer before nodding in newfound determination. Face hardened, he stands up and throws his takeout to the floor.

“You’re right.”

You nod back and dap him up, holding onto each other's clasped hands for a moment in shared resolve. Then, before you can think about it, you pull on the hand still in your grasp and yank him down to kiss him roughly.

Your hands fly to his hair and his roam all over your body. The slight hum of machines in the Man Cave is accompanied by the sound of wet kissing, lips smacking against each other and moaning softly. One of his hands travels to the small of your back to press you closer, your body finding his half-hard erection. You bite his lip, earning a soft groan, and use the opportunity to slip your tongue in. Your hand goes to the back of his neck to hold him closer while you defile his mouth with your tongue that probably still tastes like cigarettes and coffee. He doesn’t seem to mind though, as his hand slips down to grope your ass, eliciting a soft moan from you. Just as he starts to deepen the kiss further, you slip your hand into his pant pocket pulling out both things of chewing gum: one superhero-flavored, and one spearmint-flavored.

Pulling away, you wipe your lips clean of any blood with the back of your hand. “This is for you,” you open the Superhero gumball and press it against his lips, pushing it past and letting him suck on the tip of your finger slightly when it intrudes in his mouth. “And this is for me.” You pop a piece of the spearmint gum in your mouth and pocket the rest of the pack.

“Hey that’s mine–”

“Shut up. Your breath smelled so bad I’m gonna need the whole pack to get your taste out of my mouth.”

“...Is it that bad?”

“Two days, Ray.”

“Touché."

When his watch began beeping again, you gave him a salute and walked towards the elevator, feeling his eyes on you while walking away.

“Good luck, Captain Munch.”

Later, once Captain Man returned from the mission and had his powers rejuvenated from the Jolly Beetle enzymes, you approach him and ask about the Memory Eraser.

“Why would you want the Memory Eraser?”

“So I can forget I literally felt your dick through your boxers, Ray. Obviously.”

Ray tells you he lost it, and doesn’t look sorry about it.

And if he looks at you nervously a few days later while Henry is retelling the story of Captain Man using it against his classmate and father, you don’t say anything.

You’ve had worse managers.

i wrote this asf and honestly don't expect anyone to read this.. but if you somehow enjoyed reading this please consider liking and giving it some love on ao3 <3

https://archiveofourown.org/works/76641911

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Kelli M Wilkinson