Dear someone,
last time I wrote to you, I was broken. I didnāt know what to do with myself after you had left, and it felt like I was forever stuck in the same place you left me.
Iām better now. Since then, I moved to a bigger city, met new people and saw many new places. Iām building a life for myself. A life that will hopefully be filled with happiness and love. Iām building myself a future in which I am the most important person in it. Iāve stopped being just a secondary character in this beautiful play I call life. Iām tending to my needs first before I look right and left to tend to someone elseās. That doesnāt mean that Iāve become cold, doesnāt mean that Iāve lost my kindness and warmth. It means that at the end of the day Iām leaving some of the good for me too.
After you had left me, I didnāt think that Iād ever feel happiness again. I thought that life was meant to be miserable and grey. And whilst life is hard, it is also a composition of all the beautiful, magnificent things. Itās waking up in the morning, realising that you have the day off and that you can roll around in bed just a little longer. It is drinking coffee at your favourite place, and spending time with your favourite people. It is educating yourself and always striving to be better. But itās also crying your eyes out because nothing makes sense, and feeling better afterwards.
Since you left me, Iāve accomplished a list of things I thought I was unable to accomplish. I live on my own now, and while itās scary and lonely sometimes itās also the best decision Iāve ever made. Iām living hundreds of kilometres away from home and I now know the true definition of home. I know that Iāve changed and that I will continue to change, but I also know that my feelings for certain people will never change. Today I know that distance means nothing if the love and friendship are real.
You may have taught me a lot but you leaving me has taught me even more. Itās taught me strength and courage, taught me heartbreak and loss. Itās taught me about love and friendship. Itās taught me a lot about me too. Itās shown me the lengths I go to see other people happy, and how some will never appreciate that. Itās made me realise that Iām a good person thatās been hurt by bad people. But there are good people out there, and one day I will find that one good person that will turn out to be the best person. I canāt wait for that moment but I know that I have a lot of heartbreak to go through until then, because quite frankly, good things donāt come easy. But more often than not, itās not about the destination but about the journey anyway.
You were a huge part of my journey and Iām thankful for that. And whilst my journey hasnāt ended, Iām past the part with you in it. Thatās why Iām writing you today.
This is goodbye - forever - because I now know that our paths wonāt ever cross again, and Iām more than okay with that.
Love always,
e.
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