nobody puts kelsey in the corner

Fifth Year. Ravenclaw. I'm Kelsey Corner. Some quick stats: Pokemon master, singalong expert, candy connoisseur, lover of all creatures great and small, magical or not, the most awesome person you will ever meet, hater of rules, eater of Chinese food.

[voguhe-blog]

[truecrypt]

“I told the knocker to fuck off,” Ben said nonchalantly, his gaze stuck on his laptop as he tried to look for the message he received. It was what anyone who knew him would expect after all. “I’m lord savior who saved the first years from sleeping outside nerd dome,” he added. It was spoken with a lilt in his voice, as though he was proud of what he had done. And well, he was. When he finally found what he had been looking for, Ben handed the device to Kelsey as a smile tugged at his lips. 

“I got in. Witches Volunteer 2-K-26 is getting some Pucey this summer,” he pointed out with an undeniably joyful tone. Maybe she was already expecting him to apply after their conversation the other day, but surprise or not, he hoped she was happy. It was killing two birds with one stone. He was putting off working every day of the rest of his life in the Apothecary and he was laying the groundwork to the end the chase he had loved for years.  “Now, I have to pick three places I want to go to. Where do you want to go?” 

[kelseycornerclaw]

Kelsey bit her lip. Telling the knocker to fuck off didn’t work, she’d watched Zac Boot try it enough times to know that. And the only thing it had ever gotten him was detention. It was more likely that someone had given the correct answer to the riddle at the same time as Ben, but she wasn’t about to tell him that when he seemed so proud of himself for beating the system. “They don’t let them sleep outside,” She said with a small smile. “Zoe goes out and opens the door around eleven for any of them who really can’t figure out the riddle.”

She stared at the screen for a moment, trying to process what was in front of her. Kelsey had known Ben was lukewarm about going to work with his family for all he’d talked about it over the years. The shop was a routine and Ben thrived on chaos. But she hadn’t realized Volunteer Witches had even been taking applications still. Gwen had been so gung-ho that they had to apply early to prove how serious they were and... “Oh,” She mumbled, looking at the screen. She felt almost...disappointed though. She’d been looking forward to spending the summer alone with Gwen, as stupid as she realized her crush on the other girl was. “That’s great, Ben,” She forced a smile onto her face, trying to be a good friend. “I...” She skimmed over the email in front of her. “I hadn’t even known you’d applied.”

[lydiayen-blog1]

Beats me. Apparently girls actually dig the whole hobo-chic look he’s got going on. He’s literally worn beanies every day this week. I’m not even kidding here.

[kelseycornerclaw]

I think it’s more likely that they dig that he’s heir to your father’s fortune. I’m not a gold digger, but some people find money really attractive. Especially when they don’t have any. Beanies are basically Fuckboy 101, so it suits.

[lydiayen-blog1]

Mexico’s not exactly a luxury island or anything. Besides, I’m sure it’s trash if it’s in that close proximity to America. I’d rather go to an actual beach in the Mediterranean or Caribbean or something. Uh, sounds nice. It’s not like I need money though, so I don’t really care.

[kelseycornerclaw]

Not all of it, but there are definitely luxury resorts. Well, the States aren’t great but at least they’ve got some places that aren’t trash. Like Disney World! It’s supposed to be the happiest place on earth. What are you planning to do after graduation then? Since you’ve got money but all of us will actually have to work and can’t spend our time entertaining you.

[truecrypt]

Benjamin Pucey already had everything figured out.  The school year was ending soon and unlike his peers who were frantically trying to sort out their next steps in life, Ben knew before he even attended Hogwarts what he wanted to do in his life. He was going to be potioneer and eventually, inherit his family’s apothecary. It was simple but it was everything Ben had been working for. 

But of course, Ben knew simple would never work for him. At least, not yet. There had been many things he wanted and could easily get but they all seemed too simple that he tried to put twists and turns on them just because it was the way he wanted things to be. Some worked out for him, some didn’t, and some results were still pending. Nonetheless, he was in it for the long run. It was like creating his own story and he was striving for a great ending. Ben hoped his shittiness wouldn’t affect the outcome too much.

Bringing his laptop with him, Ben made his way to the Ravenclaw to be met by first years who were having a hard time answering the eagle knocker’s riddle. They haven’t learned yet, he thought. Ben’s lips parted for a cheeky grin as he stood in front of the knocker. “Come on, you sadistic little fuck. It’s like way past the kiddies bedtime, let them the fuck in, you fuck. Do you get off seeing kids tired and desperate?” He asked, his voice dripping with the dramatic flare that could even be called as his trademark. The knocker had no choice but to open the door for them. Some of the kids looked at him disgustedly with the number of bad words that rolled off his tongue while others looked at him like he was a hero. Ben made himself comfortable on one of the couches and texted Kelsey to come down and meet him. He opened his laptop, ready to show Kelsey the message he received.

@kelseycornerclaw

[kelseycornerclaw]

Kelsey sat in her dorm room replaying the old Pokemon Moon game on her 3DS. She was pretty close to evolving her Popplio when her phone buzzed. She picked it up, expecting it to be Becca asking her to come down and meet her in the kitchens - she’d been especially upset about leaving lately, Kelsey knew she was worried about being forgotten in the most graduation shuffle. When Ben’s name popped up on her screen instead she furrowed her eyebrows, swiping to see his request to meet him in the common room. She saved her game quickly, pulling her hair up into a loose bun and grabbing a sweatshirt as she left the warmth of her bed.

She made her way down the staircases, spotting Ben on one of the couches in the commons and making her way over. She sat down cross-legged on the opposite end of the couch. “How the hell did you get past the knocker? That riddle even took Zoe an hour.”

[kelseycornerclaw]

[lydiayen-blog1]

Are those your only choices? ‘Cause all of them sound pretty damn lame after the year we’ve all been through. I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for a holiday. The seaside’s literally calling my name, Corner, so I’d advise you to get as close to a beach as possible in whatever that volunteering thing is.

[kelseycornerclaw]

What’s wrong with Mexico? That sounds like an ideal Aubrey-approved holiday. Sitting on the beach with a drink, a bunch of hot, shirtless people, and looking hot as hell in a bikini. Volunteer Witches, they send you somewhere in need of help and pay you well. Like it’s basically paid holiday, Aubs.

[theleospinnet-deactivated201804]

Go for the tequila, Corner. All the tequila, all the time.

[kelseycornerclaw]

I wouldn’t mind wasting away in Margaritaville for a while but I tend not to be the happiest drunk. Until last year most of my drunken experience was crying.

[truecrypt]

Well, I don’t know anything about that. Never been out of this goddamn continent. Are Gwen and Tim… a thing? I never really cared for Gwen except for that one time she made sign-up for her sex-ed petition but boy oh boy, Tim definitely hit the jackpot if he’s dating Gwen. She’s smart and a bonus of being hot as hell. Please, Puckerman is nowhere near who I’m describing. I’ll take what I can get.

[kelseycornerclaw]

You’ve never left the UK?! We need to fix that! Where in the world do you most want to go? I’ll add it to my Bucket List. Actually, it might already be on there because it’s getting pretty long. Uh, I don’t think so. Or definitely no is more like it. I’m sure sick third-world kids could use some potions though, if you want to come.

[lydiayen-blog1]

Today’s just proven to me that you can accomplish literally anything if you’ve got the right moves. Yep, you heard it folks. Marcus Flint actually got a girlfriend before Hell froze over. I’m still in shock, so I’d appreciate any support, gifts, etc. you have to offer me to help me cope through this tough time.

[kelseycornerclaw]

...But why? You’re brother literally doesn’t have any moves, unless creeping and being terrible are moves now. No offense or anything just...WHY?

[truecrypt]

I’m pretty sure there’s tequila anywhere you decided to go but … I might be wrong? What are you even volunteering for? Can wizards go? Do they need a handsome, intelligent, just so so so great potioneer? Asking for a friend who just happened to be as great as I am, what are the chances, ha ha ha, am I right?

[kelseycornerclaw]

I think Asia probably has sake or something instead? At the very least tequila would be harder to come by. Yeah! Tim was going to sign up with Gwen and I but he decided to go off fight for Squib rights at Ilvermorny for the summer instead. Are you asking for Jake Puckerman? Or are not-so-subtly fishing for compliments, Benji?

[upward-bound]

when do you feel the most beautiful?

when a dog pulls on his leash on the sidewalk because he wants to come say hi to me

[kelseycornerclaw]

So I’ve officially been accepted into the Volunteer Witches summer 2026 program! I’m supposed to put together a list of the top three places I want to go but there are so many choices. Cambodia has elephants but Peru has alpacas...and Mexico has tequila. Help!

[oliverhopkins]

Dumb question, but can lame couples cut into your single awareness party a few times during the night? Miley Cyrus was good at one point? Whaaat?

[kelseycornerclaw]

So long as they respect our no couples boundaries and don’t do lame things like dance with their arms around each other or kiss whilst in the party. YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT. Pre-Bangerz Miley was a queen. 7 Things? Best of Both Worlds? Party in the USA? FLAWLESS!

[kelseycornerclaw]

Uptown funk'd you up?

Why are you like this? Is Bruno Mars paying you to rep him or something?

[lionleos]

Yep. You figured it out, I get a jazzy new hat for every five new fans I convert.

[kelseycornerclaw]

Well, you’re never going to convert me. I’ll stick to playing great girl power music like Fifth Harmony on repeat.

[kelseycornerclaw]

Uptown funk'd you up?

Why are you like this? Is Bruno Mars paying you to rep him or something?

[gwenpeakes-blog]

I meant it as more of a general ‘when in Rome’ phrase, but that’s interesting to know. I thought it’d be fun to ask him to accompany me, yes, but if we’re all going in a group that’s even better. That’s so strange, I thought all Ravenclaws got along! Oh, well. At least you have Victoria to ask. She always looks great too so I’m sure she’s got some good tips.

[kelseycornerclaw]

Oh, oops. I get a little bit too literal about the whole animal thing. Well, I’m sure he’d love to take you but you guys can always like hang within the group too. We’re sorely lacking in testosterone since Leo decided he was too cool for me. Nah, but I’m not exactly typical Ravenclaw either. I’m like half Lion, I don’t think some of them know how to take me. She does always look amazing, she must have some pretty good charms up her sleeves.