Let’s talk about the respect video.
First, the relevant definitions of respect are “due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of others” and to “avoid harming or interfering with”. There are more definitions of the word as a noun and a verb, but these are the ones that apply to this situation. The following text is representative of my interpretation and understanding and in no way should be taken as a representation of Mark’s views or beliefs.
Today, Markiplier put out a video in response to the hatred and blatant disrespect of Felix about respecting everyone on a basic level. On a generalized level he says things like don’t dehumanize or label people. He says that respect is such a basic thing and all humans are equal, that everyone has the capacity for good and bad, and that makes us the same. I understand these things and completely, with the entirety of my being, believe in and try to practice these things on a day to day basis.
However, as a person with a growing fanbase of 16 million that is full of impressionable kids Mark’s words have so much more power than I think anyone is truly capable of understanding and I want to talk about how I felt watching the video.
I want to tell you that I was crying by the end of his video. Not because I’m so passionate about human equality or because his words moved me deeply, but because I was panicking. I was scared. I felt like garbage. I had begun to dehumanize myself and if you have not experienced that I hope that you never do because it is arguably the most agonizing pain you can inflict on yourself.
This happened because a person I look up to, have the utmost respect for, and that makes me want to change the world for the better told me that every human deserves respect, despite their actions. Don’t misunderstand, I agree, but hearing that I have flashes of my brother holding me to a wall by my throat, and my hero is telling me to respect him, but I don’t. I see my ex-boyfriend feeding an under-aged version of myself alcohol until I lose almost an entire year of my life and Mark is telling me to respect him, but I don’t. In these moments as I’m remembering the people who have wronged, hurt, or abused me the person that inspires me to be a better person is telling me I’ve failed him. I’ve failed because I don’t think I’m strong enough to respect these people, because I have thought they are monsters for so long. I have dismissed them as subhuman because they have been cruel in the past and I don’t know that I could face them today and acknowledge them for anything but their cruelty, and I know that’s wrong.
I’m not saying these things because “Markiplier hurt my feelings” or because “Markiplier’s video was problematic”. I’m saying this because if I felt this way someone else somewhere in the (as of writing this) 1.15 million people who watched his video felt this way. I want whoever that is to know, it’s okay to not want these types of people in your life. I want you to know that abuse is never okay and that you are not wrong for not wanting to respect these people. That said I want you to take a deep breath and remember that they are in fact people and they win if you call them monsters because you validate their actions. Calling them monsters, making them non-human means that it is okay for them to act this way because it’s their nature. To dismiss them is to silently validate their behavior as acceptable when it’s not.
I’m going to take my own advice and work to recognize that these are people and I should hold them accountable for their actions as people. They may do monstrous things but they are not monsters, they are people and should be treated as such.
I realize Mark’s intention was not to defend or validate bad people. I have watched his video multiple times to understand things to the best of my ability but as he and I are human, sometimes meaning is lost between communication and reception, especially without a back and forth conversation. This was simply a way for me to vent while possibly helping others who may be feeling the same as me.
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