Description: Alastor and Vox made a deal, according to which Vox has to do anything Radio Demon demands from him, and in return Radio Demon will have sex with once a year. The closer the end of the year is, the more obvious it is that Alastor overestimated himself. He postpones the date to the very end, and Vox grows more and more impatient. And hungry.
Warnings: Alastor is sex-repulsed, according to the original of the Incompatiable Frequencies AU by @elsa-fogen, and in this fic he gets kissed and gives a kiss himself. Vox is canonically a rude asshole, but (unfortunately, as he himself thinks) he does love Alastor.
"Do you like it?"
"No."
"Pft. It's just because you don't know how to kiss."
"It's because it's weird and gross."
"Want me to teach you?"
"Do it again and I will throw up. And it's not a threat, it's a promise."
Vox frowns. This whole thing is not going the way he planned it. In fact, it isn't going well at all.
He moves away slightly. Alastor's face is brightly lit by his own screen.
"Don't you think you're overdoing it, Al? Playing a bit too fucking hard to get? If you carry on like this, I'll think you don't want this at all."
Alastor's face, looking uncharacteristically greyish, suddenly becomes more animated.
"That's because I don't want this at all," he breathes out; it's the first time his words sound with passion this entire evening. "That's why I've been asking you if you want anything... anything but this!"
Vox feels as if he got slapped. Truth be told, slap would probably feel better.
He pulls away to the end of the bed and silently grabs his clothes from the floor.
"What are you doing?" Alastor's voice sounds anxious, but Vox is too fucking angry to feel even a semblance of care.
"What does it look like I'm doing?" he responds poisonously without looking at Radio demon. His own arousal is so intense it almost hurts, and Vox tries to think of something unpleasant. Like him getting laughed at by all other Overlords for being so gullible and stupid. "Getting the fuck out of here. Proud of yourself, Al? I don't know what kind of loophole you managed to find, but that is just fucking cold. Getting me all worked up. Postponing everything to the last day," his movements are twitchy and aggressive at the same time. Not a single man in Hell has ever buttoned up his shirt in such an enraged way.
"I am not backing out of the deal," Alastor shivers with his entire body, and Vox feels that through the blanket Radio demon covered hiself with. "I didn't find any loopholes. I just..."
Vox turns at him abruptly.
"You just what? Wanted to trick me? To make a fool out of me?"
Alastor looks at him. If it was any other Sinner, Vox would assume he sees fear in those eyes across from him. But it is Alastor. So it must be mockery.
"We still can..." he starts quietly, but Vox doesn't even let him finish.
"We still can what? Watch you throw up on your pillow? If that's what you want when kissing, the hell would be your reaction to fucking? To turn into your demon form and get out of the window, simultaneously murdering me? Yeah, thanks, asshole, I would rather not be a part of that circus. If you find me THAT fucking revolting, you could just, I don't know, not make a deal with me? But oh, mighty Radio Demon probably had so much fun watching Media Overlord rushing to fulfill his tasks like a fucking dog. It's the TV head, isn't it? Is that the problem? Of course it's the fucking TV head. I'm never getting laid ever again, and all because of that stupid fucking-"
"It's not you!" Alastor flips out, eyes darkening. "It's EVERYONE. Anyone. It doesn't matter who that is, the reaction is always the same. I thought I could do it with you. I really thought so. Just once a year. Such a meager price. But I cannot. I just fucking cannot. The very thought freaks me out. I..." he grabs onto his own hair, eyes staring onto the blanket, "It's just... so disgusting."
Vox is silent for a bit. He's still fuming, but, at least, he isn't going away. And isn't getting any closer.
"Billie Holiday?" he asks without particular enthusiasm.
"What?" Alastor raises his gaze at him, confused.
"Did you ever dream of sex with Billie Holiday?" Vox's patience is incredibly thin, but he still explains what he meant.
Alastor wrinkles his nose.
"Ew. How could you think about her that way? Her voice is phenomenal!"
"Marlene Dietrich?" judging by Vox's voice, his rage is slowly starting to get replaced by curiosity.
Alastor just shakes his head.
"Harry Cooper?" Vox refuses to give up, trying out a new theory.
"I've never thought of a single person like that," Alastor responds.
Maybe he just hasn't found a proper lady to settle down with, he thinks.
Radio demon finally stopped shivering, and the fear in his eyes is slowly going away.
"Huh," Vox doesn't look neither angry, nor judgmental; he is definitely shocked, though. "Damn! The fuck are you doing here among the sinners, then? You sound like a fucking saint. Not to feel desire? Sounds like cheating at life."
"My placement might have something to do with cannibalism and dark magic," Alastor responds, his smirk slowly widening, and Vox disgusts himself by how relieved this change makes him feel.
Fear doesn't look that good on Alastor. He always looks much better when scaring someone instead.
Vox falls on his back, across the bed. Alastor tenses for a bit, but then relaxes, when he realizes that Vox isn't trying to get back to disgusting stuff.
"Sex is like second best thing after the influence," Vox sighs. "I cannot believe you don't like it. Damn. That makes you invincible to the whole seduction thing. I always follow my desire."
"I've noticed," Alastor's eyes finally smile as well.
Vox elbows one of his hooves.
"Oh, fuck you. I've been waiting for this day for an entire year. You're such a fucking tease, Al."
Alastor shrugs his shoulders, trying to keep his composure. Maybe he'll still get out of it. Maybe there is still a chance to avoid this.
"Ask for something else. Anything."
"That will go against the deal," Vox sighs, and maybe Alastor inhales the air too sharp and too fast, because media overlord immediately side-eyes him.
And sits up on the edge of the bed.
Alastor watches Vox extend his hand.
"I offer a new deal," Vox tries to keep his emotions under control - so far so good. "We cancel out our previous deal and you owe me one kiss on the cheek, valid immediately, and promise to never tell anyone about our previous deal. Well, technically, you cannot kiss me on the cheek, so let's make it one kiss on the screen. You got the gist. And before you say anything, just don't, because I am so gonna go back on this deal. I'm gonna change my mind, fuck, I cannot believe I even consider giving up the chance to sleep with you. If you're just pretending right now, I swear to god, Alastor..."
Alastor grabs onto his hand.
"Deal," he says.
And as the colored chains on their wrists break away, he leans forward and presses his lips against Vox's screen shortly - right where his sharp smile ends.
Vox glitches. The electricity dances between his antennas.
Alastor smiles at media overlord's reaction.
"And now," he says almost gently, releasing sinner's hand, "Get out of my bed, Vox."
my thoughts about Caine's model lacking many essential facial features (as if he was never intended to show any emotions) and yet him being literally the most expressive character in the circus despite everything.
me being low-key obsessed with the implications episode 7 left us with. Players questioning everything they've been told and Caine being in the center of it all.
Just to be clear, I do believe Caine is written as a sentient AI who is just struggling to understand humanity and everything that comes with it. And I think these thoughts about him faking his emotions are inherently wrong within a story. He's oblivious and desperate but not malicious. But couple it with the fact that he's been lying about many other things (so far I'm inclined to think it was for players' sake in his own eyes) and that humans have been suffering for a while dealing with a literal god that doesn't understand them... Well, I have a feeling that they will doubt his motives and literally everything they know, rightfully so.
The amount of attention this little comic received is a bit terrifying and overwhelming and seeing all the different interesting interpretations people come up with I just wanted to explain mine own a little better <3
I want them all to be healed and happy, little guy absolutely included, but man the situation is rough, and the odds are against us
(Also please ignore typos, I'm hyperaware of them and even messed up writing my on name, i was really, really tired :') )
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