𝙸'𝙼 𝙶𝙾𝙽𝙴

[keonfm-blog]

cynthiafm‌:

                 “ i want to be friends, too … it’s just weird because we’re both, you know — ” cynthia stops herself, unsure of what to say. it’s too much to sit and try to explain whatever’s between them, especially when she’s unsure of what it means herself. cynthia takes a peak at him, feeling a pang in her chest at the sight of the sullen look on his features. “ hey. ” her hand hesitates before reaching out and holding onto one of his tightly. “ it’ll be fine. we’ll be fine. ”

                      keon watched her, unsure of what she would even end up saying but he thought it was something she probably couldn’t. he finally looks back up at her once he hears her speak after the pause that had occurred, his heart pounding at the feeling of her hand holding onto his. he gave her hand a gentle squeeze and rested his other hand above hers, “yeah, i know we will be. we just have to put in a little extra effort. we’re always going to be okay” he spoke softly while rubbing her hand, his eyes fixated on it. 

[keonfm-blog]

cynthiafm‌:

                  “ stop. ” she doesn’t have to look up to know he’s sad. it’s evident in his voice, and it feels off hearing him mention how things get weird between them. she’d known it wasn’t all in her head, but to hear him acknowledge it only confirms to her that their relationship doesn’t allow for them to be friends. cynthia sighs before continuing, eyes still avoiding his. “ things only get weird because we suck at acting normal … we can hang out. we just — i don’t know … we can learn. ”

                     he looked down at his hands, sighing. that was what keon wanted the most, to be able to be friends with cynthia. she had moved on and he wished he could too, for the sake of the somewhat friendship they have going on right now. “i know we do. i guess we’ll just have to hang out more and get used to it. i really want to be friends cynthia. i just want us to get over the weird part.”

[keonfm-blog]

cynthiafm‌:

                   she hesitates. cynthia knows keon well enough to know that it isn’t okay. she begins to regret pushing him so far away, especially when she knows he doesn’t exactly put himself out there. cynthia makes a mental note to spend more time together. “ too much of anything can be a bad thing, ” she mumbles, eyes fixated on her hands again. “ don’t spend so much time alone, keon. ”

                     sadness washes over his features as he listens to cynthia’s words. “i know, i just don’t have a lot of people to hang out with. i have liam and rumi but i can’t bother them every day. and you... well we both know things get weird sometimes between us and i don’t wanna put you in that position where you feel like things are weird, cynthia.” he frowned, “i’m sure i’ll make friends sometime and won’t be so lonely.”

[keonfm-blog]

cynthiafm‌:

                   cynthia frowns as he taps the mattress, not having realized how uncomfortable he is. “ well, when you leave, i’ll get us a cab there. sleeping in a hospital sucks, ” she shrugs, knowing all too well. cynthia looks back up at him, praying that the red’s faded from her cheeks by now. hearing that keon practically lives alone worries her for some reason. she doesn’t like the idea of him being all alone, especially when they’re being watched. keon’s so sensitive, too. it’s only natural that she worries about him. “ doesn’t that get lonely ? ”

                    he sighs, “yeah, i don’t wanna stay here any longer than i have to. it’s just pointless.” he told her. he thought over her words for a minute, “well, yeah,” he nodded, realizing just how much time he actually did spend alone. even at a party surrounded by people, unless he was with rumi he pretty much sat around high off god knows how much coke while others were socializing. the thought upset him, but he shook it off to put up a front for cynthia even though she knew him better than anybody. “but it’s okay, i mean, at least i have a lot of time to myself.” 

[keonfm-blog]

cynthiafm‌:

                   “ well, are you leaving the hospital tonight or tomorrow morning ? there’s a room in a hotel down the street for you if you check out tonight, and you can shower there. ” cynthia looks at him and she’s startled to find him looking at her. her face heats up, cheeks turning red under his gaze and she swiftly looks down at her hands. “ uh, i don’t know, ” she stammers nervously, clearing her throat. “ i’m excited to be home, too. i think i just missed my bed and having my own place to stay. living with thirty people kinda sucks. ”

                     “oh, i’m leaving tonight for sure, a hotel bed is way better than,” he tapped the current mattress he was on, “whatever this is,” he shook his head, “not only is it weirdly deflated it’s also too loud.” he watched her stammering and was almost confused as to why. did he say something? “yeah, me too. it wasn’t that fun, being around all those people. i like being back home. it’s just me and vik and vik is usually cooped up in his room anyways, so it’s pretty much like i live alone.”

[keonfm-blog]

cynthiafm‌:

                    she turns her head to the side, letting it rest against the seat as her laugh slowly dies down. she’s left with a big smile on her face as she watches keon keep laughing and for a moment, it doesn’t feel like they’re in a hospital room after he’s just been out of surgery. everything feels normal. she lets a comfortable silence hang between them, eyes darting around the room to avoid staring at him. “ are you excited to go home ? ”

                     keon’s laughter slowly died down, but the smile on his face remained, simply because of cynthia’s smile. he carefully sat up, making sure he wouldn’t hurt his leg anymore than it was. he pushed the hair back from his face and rested his hand at his side again. “yeah, but i’m most excited for showering. the sponge bath was nice but i need a shower,” he said, “and i missed being away from home, canada was kind of weird. are you excited?” he asked, his eyes never once looking away from her face as she avoided eye contact but he didn’t care. he loved looking at her.

[keonfm-blog]

cynthiafm‌:

                    cynthia’s eyes widen and she laughs at the idea of roy peeing himself in the morgue. she makes a mental note to store that information away for when it’s needed. “ holy shit, he peed himself ? that makes that night so much funnier, ” she leans back against her chair, folding her legs and holding her knees against her chest now. it feels nice to laugh and joke with keon, it’s comfortable and easy. it’s also rare, but cynthia decides to ignore the bitterness and focus on the sweet. “ next time we all have a group sleepover, we’re putting his hand in cold water. it’s only right. ”

                     keon couldn’t help but laugh again at the thought of it once more, remembering that although that moment was terrifying, it was completely overshadowed by roy peeing himself. “yeah, he grabbed my arm and everything it was one of the funniest things ever. it’s all i can think about when i think back to that night. and the water bottles, of course.” he loved being able to talk with cynthia like this. the past week he felt as if they were both complete strangers to each other, and he was happy that feeling was gone. “yeah, i’ll record it and we can look back on it and laugh.”

[keonfm-blog]

cynthiafm‌:

                    cynthia’s forced smile is replaced by a sincere one as she watches just how awkward keon is with his hands. he’s charming, even when he doesn’t intend to be and she’s always the first one to crack a smile at his antics. “ keon, you’d literally look ridiculous. like, big arms with a tiny head. i would go out of my way to make fun of you, ” she jokes, her own hand awkwardly staying in the first place it’d been earlier. “ it could be worse, though. you could be roy with the water. ”

                     “out of your way to make fun of me? seriously?” he repeated her words, laughing, “you can’t just let me get back to my normal size when im done using it? i’m getting an electric wheelchair now, i don’t need you making fun of me you’d ruin my ego,” he shook his head, his laughter dying down when he realized there were other patients around that could probably hear him. “roy with the water. he’ll never live that down. when we were in the morgue he told me he peed a little, too. probably from all the water.”

[keonfm-blog]

cynthiafm‌:

keonfm‌:

                    cynthia looks away from him as his hand pulls back from her cheek, her skin immediately missing his warmth. she should be used to their tension and double meanings by now, but she isn’t. her heart aches the same way every time. hearing him speak again, she looks up at him. “ that just sounds depressing, ” she gives a half-hearted chuckle, mirroring his smile with a forced one of her own. if he wants to pretend, we’ll pretend. “ get a wheelchair instead so you can run over people’s toes when they piss you off. ”

                     keon lets out a deep breath, that he felt he had been holding forever. he wishes things were the way before, but that’s all he knew to do recently. wish his life would go back to the way it was before. “yeah, isn’t it? still would be pretty funny. just a little.” he said, not knowing what to do with his hands at this point, moving them above his head as he tried his hardest to be casual. “yeah, that sounds smarter. it’ll be like a workout maybe i’ll have arms like the rock when i’m done using it. do you think his arms suit me?”

[keonfm-blog]

cynthiafm‌:

                    his skin burns against hers, providing her with much needed warmth in the freezing room. her eyes remain fixated on their hands, heart pounding. it’s clear that neither of them can say more, and she knows that even if it weren’t for her being in a relationship, they still couldn’t. their past is too complicated and painful for either of them to ever risk reviving anything now. still, her chest aches at everything he isn’t saying. “ stop. ” she brings their hands up, turning his so she can press a soft kiss to his palm. cynthia finally looks up at him, a sad smile on her lips as she takes in just how tired keon appears. she wonders if she looks the same. “ my heart can only take so much torture today, you know. ”

                     her kiss against the palm of his hands make his face heat up. her lips were something he missed the feeling of. every kiss she had ever given him is something he’d never forget. he moved his hand to cup her face and he gently rubbed her cheek with his thumb. “sorry, i should know when to stop,” he sighed, “like now,” he said as he moved his hand down and rested it on his chest. “hey, don’t be so sad at least you get to watch me struggle to use crutches. i’ve never used them before, so, you can watch me fuck up plenty of times.” he flashed her a smile, which was mostly forced to make her feel better, because he definitely felt terrible.

[keonfm-blog]

cynthiafm‌:

                    it takes everything in her not to roll her eyes at keon. it’s just like him to be in a hospital bed after surgery and just be grateful that everyone else is safe. it isn’t a bad thing — in fact, it’s one of his qualities that made her fall for him in the first place. he’s a better person than she could ever be. “ keon, ” she exhales, exasperation evident in her voice. cynthia decides she doesn’t have it in her to scold him. instead, her pinky finger inches to the side and rests above his. “ i’m really glad you’re okay. if something’d happened to you … ” she trails off, a lump growing in her throat advising her not to continue if she doesn’t want to embarrass herself.

                     he notices the exasperation in her voice, and almost wants to chuckle, but feels it isn’t the right time. he leans his head back, his heart pounding when he feels her pinky resting against his. “hey,” he sits up, “don’t say that, i’m okay. i’m not gonna die that easily. and if something had happened back there at least it would’ve been me and not you,” he gently places his hand over hers, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles softly. “and don’t get mad when i say that, i know it annoys you, but i wouldn’t know what to do with myself. i’ll always care about. you’re one of the most important people i have in my life.” he absolutely meant it. he knows she’s strong enough to go on without him if something were to happen, but he genuinely knew he couldn’t go on with cynthia completely out of his life.

[keonfm-blog]

cynthiafm‌:

⋆  ° ♡ . ·     @keonfm

                    brown eyes watch everyone as they exit the hospital room, only cynthia and keon remaining. watching keon be attacked by whoever was in the corn maze had terrified her, the possibility of him dying terrifying her even further. her heart had been racing in her chest the entire drive to the hospital, eyes fixated on keon’s face as she’d prayed to whoever that he wouldn’t die from the blood loss. cynthia felt guilty leaving him in surgery to go shower, but there was nothing she could’ve done by sitting in a waiting room, covered in blood. she scoots closer to his hospital bed now, the atmosphere thick with tension. their relationship is still to be determined, what with their last conversation being awkward after their argument days prior. her hand rests next to his on the edge of the bed, serving as a reminder of all the boundaries that can no longer be crossed. cynthia’s eyes avoid his, instead focusing on their hands. there’s silence for a few minutes before she works up the courage to speak first, her voice barely above a whisper.

                   “ are you in a lot of pain ? ”

                       thoughts ran through his mind a mind quickly, his tired eyes fixated on the bright hospital light that focused on him. he thought about what would’ve happened if iva hadn’t thrown her shoe? or how he would feel if this person had hurt iva, or anyone else, other than him? the people he cared for deeply? although he was feeling an enormous amount of pain, he was glad it was him before anybody else. he watches her hand rest beside his, and he has an urge to grab it, which he definitely doesn’t act on. he looks up at her face once he hears her quiet voice, “yeah, but it’s okay. they’ll give me meds and i’ll end up fine. at least i didn’t lose my leg,” he sighed, glancing at the heart monitor that he was tired of hearing, “at least everybody else is okay and safe now.”

[keonfm-blog]

╰   ♡ .     𝚜𝚖𝚜 𝚝𝚘 keon 🙈

RILEY: next time just. take a deep breath. go for a walk (not alone) n try not to explode :( it’s bad for your heart

RILEY: okay :3 i missed u lol

KEON: yeah i'll try that. you can go on a walk with me next time?

KEON: well so is all the coke i do in a day so arguing cant be too bad for my heart :(

KEON: i missed u too baby

[keonfm-blog]

╰   ♡ .     𝚜𝚖𝚜 𝚝𝚘 keon 🙈

RILEY: don’t apologize, it’s okay! it was stressful. i couldn’t even stay the whole time

RILEY: do you wanna come to my room? we can talk :3

KEON: yeah it was stressful idk i just got riled up :/

KEON: of course :p it beats being alone in my room listening to the twilight soundtrack

KEON: i'll be there in a little bit

[keonfm-blog]

╰   ♡ .     𝚜𝚖𝚜 𝚝𝚘 keon 🙈

RILEY: hi :3 are you okay?

KEON: yeah just kinda upset but im getting over it

KEON: sorry about the yelling i know it probably made you upset. will try my best to not do it again

[keonfm-blog]

𝐨𝐧𝐞 (𝟏) 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝒔𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒆 .

RUMI: yup.

KEON: okay then that's good to know. dont talk to me ever again and i mean it i dont need this in my life i have enough going on

[keonfm-blog]

𝐨𝐧𝐞 (𝟏) 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝒔𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒆 .

RUMI: take the hint that i dont want you around.

RUMI: and brush your hair while you're at it.

KEON: you seriously don't want me around? after everything we've been through ur gonna give up on our friendship just like that?