My Dream World Cup 2019 Roster
emily menges wearing an abby dahlkemper skin suit
the ghost of abby wambach
ali krieger and her stans right after being allowed to feed jill ellis to sharks with laser beams attached to their foreheads
tierna davidson and tobin heath but they’re both forced into a single oversized #17 jersey like siblings who need to learn how to get along
kelley o’hara with a license to kill and an unlimited amount of knee braces to dramatically throw to the sidelines
sam kerr, who is allowed onto the pitch for two minutes every time the commentators mention the usmnt or mls
megan rapinoe but zach ertz runs onto the pitch to spray her with water whenever she doesn’t pass the ball to an open teammate
mallory pugh at age 28 so no one has to mention she’s a teenager ever again
sam mewis but normal sized and she can only be subbed off for kristie mewis or a new england patriots player of her choice
christen press and alex morgan with a decent sized leash chaining them together for maximum movement but one can’t play without the other #chrislexrise
the demon that possesses mccall zerboni and fuels the hell fire of the north carolina courage
alyssa naeher with ashlyn harris’ haircut
allie long but she has to buy playing time and the only accepted currency is cute videos of tobin heath
anyone who’s ever eaten at a golden corral buffet and lived
whitney engen but everyone acts like nothing ever happened
becky sauerbrunn after intensely training on an isolated mountain populated only by monks for two months, free from distractions like social media, woso journalism, and her useless gay teammates
jacobvanloon
blakekathryn
areudirty
theartofmadeline
vaporwave
gummygunk
origamiaround
