[kerraelas]

hi! ily all and hope you're doing okay!

also make sure to take care of yourself!

don't forget to eat, hydrate, sleep, or take your meds if you need to!

<3

[kerraelas]

people (derogatory)

[kerraelas]

on a completely different note new york torch song is a great song to just blast first thing in the morning

[kerraelas]

i think it might be concerning that i can flip my emotions around pretty much at will

[kerraelas]

i wanna be the type of person my parents tried to protect me from

[kerraelas]

okay ramble time over time to disapear for a few weeks again ✌

[kerraelas]

i misspelt a word this is so embarrassing /j

[kerraelas]

my brother got a new car today and i went with him on a drive and holy hell i really want to learn how to drive just for the freedom but my little brain can't always keep intrusive thoughts at bay and sometimes can't catch myself before i act on them so that would not be safe for anyone

[kerraelas]

okay ramble time over time to disapear for a few weeks again ✌

[kerraelas]

yooo is there any chance that someone for some reason wants some free anxiety bc i want nothing to do w mine anymore

[kerraelas]

i want a knife but i am not allowed a knife.

when i bring up that my brother got one for his 18th, i get told it's because he's a boy. so am i?? tf????

and i watch smth "innapropriate" and i get told i'm not allpwed to watch that.

it sould be noted that i am almost 20!

i love being so fucking sheltered and babied just bc i'm afab!

[kerraelas]

also bc i'm gonna be out of the house more soon by myself and my phone's probably gonna be shut off by the end of the month bc my dad's going back on our deal... i think some protection might be good yeah?

but noooo sharp objects are dangerous -_-

[kerraelas]

tw// slight sh mention

it's not even like she's worried abt me using it for sh bc i've asked and she's usually p blunt abt that

[kerraelas]

i want a knife but i am not allowed a knife.

when i bring up that my brother got one for his 18th, i get told it's because he's a boy. so am i?? tf????

and i watch smth "innapropriate" and i get told i'm not allpwed to watch that.

it sould be noted that i am almost 20!

i love being so fucking sheltered and babied just bc i'm afab!

[kerraelas]

also bc i'm gonna be out of the house more soon by myself and my phone's probably gonna be shut off by the end of the month bc my dad's going back on our deal... i think some protection might be good yeah?

but noooo sharp objects are dangerous -_-

[kerraelas]

i want a knife but i am not allowed a knife.

when i bring up that my brother got one for his 18th, i get told it's because he's a boy. so am i?? tf????

and i watch smth "innapropriate" and i get told i'm not allpwed to watch that.

it sould be noted that i am almost 20!

i love being so fucking sheltered and babied just bc i'm afab!

[kerraelas]

there's a park 3 miles away from my house. npt the closest park, but i prefer that one. it's got a nice field.

i got a new bag bc backpacks fcking suck and they are not fum sensory wise, so now i can actually go places with my sketchbook and shit.

is this an excuse to walk at least 6 miles daily nd be away from home? yes. am i going to acknpowledge that anymore than this? probably but we're gonna pretend that answer is no.

[kerraelas]

i have come to the conclusion that i am actually just a very toxic person who deep down doesn't want to change that. so that's nice ig

[kerraelas]

sometimes you get to such a low point to where you don't care about hurting people anymore. and while it's not a fun thing, the ppl i'm worried abt hurting are those i've been hurting for months at least, so "coming out of hiding" so to speak isn't the worst i can do

[kerraelas]

you ever get tempted to leak your general location just so you can hang out w someone despite knowing the dangers of doing so

bc that's my mood right now

[kerraelas]

... i wonder if i can force my brain to fall in to the mood of being incredibly avoidant to certain food textures

[kerraelas]

the answer is yes. also just re-realised how many better foods are the evil textures