That hand upon her did keep her steady as the Captain made her choice. It was painful for Kes on so many levels. The only way she showed it, however, was the soft opening of her mouth, and perhaps the smallest sway kept immeasurable by the Captain’s support of her. Neither could her delicate pale eyebrows hide the complexity of her thoughts.
She could tell that the Captain didn’t like giving her a negative on her request, but that she was going to do it anyway. Kes as well was pushing down her feelings. One did not argue with the Captain. That, she had learned.
There was a thrill in her a moment later when Captain Janeway offered that she could speak. It wasn’t over! As the woman drew her hand away, Kes thought of her independence. Her importance as a living being that the Voyager crew had reminded her of. After being freed from the Kazon, it had taken her time to remember the inner rebellion of her nature that had caused her to leave the safety of the Ocompa Enclave in the first place. She stood up every bit of her 160 centimeter height, and took a deep breath so her voice would be strong.
“Thank you, Captain.” Her voice was strong and smooth, with an almost viola quality. She put her arms behind her back, grabbing one wrist with the other as she’d sometimes seen members of the crew making a report. It made her even just that little bit taller, and squared her narrow shoulders.
“I have spent some time trying to simplify the program so that someone else can use it. These elements, this particular balance of elements are difficult to detect. Its why the stores ran out.” Kes’ periwinkle eyes stayed steady. “It’s taken me two days to create a new program, and that rate includes my unique learning cycle. The Doctor agrees with my additional findings that there is no one else who could learn the subtleties before the Away Team leaves tomorrow.”
There was something on her face then. Something she could not hide. Something that showed her young age in a single moment.
Want. Want clear in a small quaver in her breath, a soft move of her lower lip and her eyebrows nearly question marks as she looked to the Captain with hope.
kathryn’s fingers rested on her chin as she thought about the new information kes had presented to her. “i guess that settles it then,” she admitted, shrugging. she still felt uneasy about it, but her months captaining voyager had taught her that unprecedented circumstances called for unprecedented actions. “you will be joining the away team tomorrow.” she flashed kes a brief smile. it felt good to be able to give the ocampan a bigger taste of freedom and at least if kes’ presence was absolutely necessary she could allow her to leave voyager with a clear conscience.
the eagerness that kes showed towards going to the planet was somewhat refreshing. it was what the federation was all about, of course - exploring; finding new things. kathryn had no doubt that were circumstances different, kes would make a fine starfleet officer. kathyrn found herself gazing at kes with a fondness that most of the crew didn’t get to see. it was a chink in her armour and she quickly straightened her back and resumed with a sincere, yet formal speech.
“i hope you know that the progress you’ve made with your studies with the doctor and your work in airponics astound me. i thank you for the dedication you’ve shown towards voyager and its crew. just put my mind at ease by answering this. i think i already know the answer, but do you actually want to do this or do you feel obliged to? no one is ever going to force you to do anything that you’re not comfortable with. you’ve become a valued member of voyager. however, i think we both need to remind ourselves that you are actually our guest.”
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