♯ last - hope . mp3

nothing ever ends poetically. it ends and we turn it into poetry. all that blood was never once beautiful. it was just red  –  k.r.

[kevinoswalt]

STARTER FOR JACK DETLER ( @cloudedwrath ) !

     fingers rub against flimsy plastic, an agnostic praying to the man upstairs for the banner to  stay up  when she lets go. more tape would do it, but more tape would also mean heading to the convenience store for a re - stock. she was not at that point of desperation just yet.   “   i didn’t go to a single dance in my entire high school career.   ”   she starts, eyeing thick writing with suspicion   –   don’t fall, don’t fall, don’t fall… and she climbs down the ladder, SATISFIED with decorations finished. kevin had planned this event for weeks now   :   starting with dance classes, continuing with the ornaments purchased out of pocket, and finalized with a date set. tomorrow night.   “   i am five foot seven and a hundred and ten pounds.   ”   kevin sighs, voice lowering.   “   when i dance, i look like a praying mantis on fire.   ”

[kevinoswalt]

STARTER FOR PIPPA ESPINA ( @vengefulseas ) !

     their relationship had grown strenuous over the past month, kevin uncertain where they stood   (   and TRUTHFULLY, lacking the incentive to find out,   ) whilst pippa did what she did best   –   drink her problems away. they’d spoken, it would be hard living underneath the same roof without communication, but interactions were kept brief and shallow   –   possessing the depth of a kiddy pool or a puddle on pavement. calls went to voicemail, and texts were responded to with what could be considered the BARE MINIMUM. pippa’s latest, however, had become an exception. kevin hadn’t hurried home to tend to her sister’s needs, but she’d kept it in the back of her mind   –   later coming up with an excuse to depart from george’s early, if just to check in. they were on rocky terms, not sworn enemies. she stands in the doorway now, book - bag tossed over her shoulder and house keys in hand, eyeing the bundle of blankets on the living room sofa.   “   i was expecting bad,   ”   kevin begins, entering the room with faltering steps. a gaze flickers to the television set, and what she’s gifted   –   perfectly matching the tray of half - finished brownies on the coffee table   –   was the final scene romeo & juliet.   “   but not this.   ”   yes, what kevin had expected was a  STUPOR  :  empty bottles, vomit, and smeared mascara. and though this was a sight more pleasant, it was likewise more unsettling. 

[kevinoswalt]

STARTER FOR JAERD ALANIZ ( @closefears ) !

     LYING  –  it was a skill the younger did not possess, nor had she felt a desire to participate in its practice   (   for the past two years, at least.   )    thus, her inability to join the ranks of users of daily white lies, and her own experiences with being lied to, kevin tended to look down upon those who did.   “   the worst thing you can be is a liar…   ”   she argues. a perfectly flawed statement coming from a good place.   “   okay, fine, yes   –   the worst thing you can be is a nazi, but then number two is a liar.   ”   murderer might be squished in between them, but other than that, she was RIGHT. quite the odd conversation to be having over the clearance stack at clough’s.   “   nazi one, liar two.   ”   kevin quiets down, hugging her copy of king’s firestarter. not the usual horror fanatic but she never dismissed a book recommendation. 

[kevinoswalt]

STEVEN KINNEY  –  stvnknny‌.

“ Well, I mean — ” a pause, and he shifts his weight. “ I wasn’t sure you’d still want to be partners, and I didn’t have your number, so — ” A small smile, and he continues. “ We’d still need a good logo, though. And maybe a name. ” He hopes she doesn’t think he’s weird. “ Oh, really ? That’s neat. I’ve never actually been there, but I’ve thought about volunteering. I’m sure a few of the people don’t really see much of their families, if they’re not from around here. ” A light chuckle escapes him, and he flashes her a smile. “ Well, if it comes down to it, at least we know the elderly will subscribe to our services. ” She looks down at his feet, and he takes a deep breath, exhaling slowly. “ I try. Some would say I’m just lucky, though. Not smart. ” He shrugs his shoulders, and lips curl into a smile once more. “ How have you, ah, been ? ”

she’d never been GOOD at it  –  the social aspect of life, though more specifically, with those she found interest. always feeling as if any indication of attraction-romantic, or even friendly-was a step away from being PUSHY, and thus those feelings were hardly ever acted upon. but like pippa would so PROUDLY announce each january  –  new year, new me.  “  m - my number?  ”  she begins.  “  yeah, obviously, you couldn’t  –  not without it.  ” a poor start, but she goes on.  “  right…  ”  a throat cleared, and a burst of unfounded confidence pushes her forwards.  “  do you, i don’t know, want it, maybe. just in case of  –  any business related questions.  ”  you sound like an idiot, kev.  “  or for anything… really.  ”  gaze shifts, landing back on dirtied up sneakers  –  she’d never quite found any interest in the way her shoes are tied before, or the scrapes against the white of the converse, but she does now. plentiful.

[kevinoswalt]

❖ u gonna sleep with cat in the hat?

“  –  i haven’t seen that movie…

[kevinoswalt]

❖ which of your friends do you think will fail at their dreams?

“  –  i don’t think either of them will fail. but… pippa doesn’t exactly have dreams. not realistic ones, anyway. getting out of black spring  –  it’s not POSSIBLE. so, i guess i’d have to say her.

[kevinoswalt]

❖ who in town do you think will end up alone forever?

“  –  i don’t know, maybe… myself.

[kevinoswalt]

❖ when u and steven gonna smash? the clock is ticking ....

“  –  s - smash? we haven’t even gone out yet. i - i really don’t think that’s on the table right now.

[meme-archive]

send me a ❖ + a question and my muse will be forced to tell the truth.

[kevinoswalt]

LOU HOLSTAD  –  cloudedwrath‌.

       ‘   it’s all any of us have.   ’ it’s a fact that SPLICES his tongue on the way out, bitter with the blood of his fucking ancestors that just had to settle down in the worst town imaginable. see ANGER is next in line, but fatigue maintains it’s throne - whenever he thinks about new york city being a hop, skip and jump away, flitters of brazen irritation comes to the fore, but in the end, it’s doused by an overwhelming exhaustion. a complacency, one that never stutters when it says this is what life is, and what it will always be. ‘   it’d be a ghost town without her. black springs should be a ghost town.    ’ there’s no use being emphatic about it, words dwindling out of him like a broken faucet. he shuffles behind her, nodding sagely, partaking in the exact kind of talk he’d been feigning nonchalance to just moments ago. ‘   try telling my brother that. you know i wouldn’t be surprised if he was the one who threw the bagel.   ’ he has a quip about damian and doodletown ready and waiting for the flare of the starting pistol but he swallows it down, saves it for another day, another life, where the mere premise of doodletown doesn’t make his stomach turn.

kevin couldn’t lie  –  physically, metaphorically, she was stunted in the department of untruths. and so, she doesn’t argue. he’s right. she thinks he’s more right than he even realizes, though that’s an opinion kept to herself. “  that’d mean we’d have to …  ”  she trails off, the implication too unsettling, and the cashier calling her to the front. suppose she should be grateful for the out, but she isn’t.  “  if he was, i think you would’ve heard it by now.  ”  she offers him, digging through her wallet for singles. she ought to convert to the digital, but there was something COMFORTING about bills and coins, as if succumbing modern era was an act obstructed by her subconscious. paper bag collected, she moves towards the exit  –  tempted to leave the boy and the contents of their interaction behind. but as he himself moves from the register, she hops right back in.  “  you’re not wrong  –  we should… realistically, we should put an end to it ourselves, and go  –  go extinct.  ”  voice lower this time, the conversation too grim for the townsfolk of black spring, already on edge.  “  but  –  that’s so… so MORBID and it’d be like giving up and we shouldn’t do that. when this all started, when she first  –  people rarely left their hometowns and that wasn’t so bad.  ”  not sure what her aim is, she goes on.  “  it’s restrictive and it’s unfair but why should we be the one to put our lives on hold to stop it? i know, i sound … selfish, i do. but, i don’t know, don’t you want, like, to grow old? have kids?  ”  beat.  “  i do. i mean, not the having kids part, i don’t think i do … but i do want to grow old, even if it has to be here, and  –  i know my friends want kids and maybe, i will too one day.  ”  she realizes the word vomit when it’s too late, and by the time that she does  –  she quiets down.  “  sorry.  ”

[kevinoswalt]

LOU HOLSTAD  –  cloudedwrath‌.

       the hive mentality makes him feel calm in comparison. even with the CHAOTIC, electronic raucous that plays in his ears, the type of music that’s often subject to remarks from his father who shakes his head before citing dylan and clapton as the real greats. a disparate gaze looks ahead, faces out of focus but buzzing with the same glow newly pregnant women have. aimless bees indulging in a false sense of community and god, is this all there is ? a town tied together by secrecy isn’t romantic, it’s fucked. ‘   a waste of bagels.   ’ the utterance laced with irritation is accompanied by a facade of nonchalance painting his gaze as he watches the cashier gab to a small crowd of over enthused patrons. he bites down on his lip to stifle a groan, the pace of small-town life is already torturously  s  l  o  w without every tidbit of news having to be parsed by the elderly asking if the cashier could repeat that one more time. ‘   sure, the bagel’s new, but it’s not like this type of shit is uncommon.   ’ perhaps being BORN and BRED here has something to do with his disillusion, or maybe the audible growl of his stomach is informing his rapidly dwindling patience. ‘   don’t you think it’s kind of weird how OBSESSED people are kev ?   ’ 

black spring nature isn’t foreign to her. after all  –  it was ALL she’d ever known. kevin couldn’t imagine living anywhere else, even if literature did its best to teleport her across the country, world, and universe. her imagination only took her so far, and for so long. “ i … i don’t know if i do. ” kevin confesses, her past a secret best kept  –  especially in the context given. she was no different from everyone else, maybe worse. “ it’s all they have, some of them. ” a shift in the line and she uses worn sneakers to scoot a basket closer to the front. “ all of us,  –  we don’t really have anything in common, except … this. her,   –  the black rock witch. ” title is spoken with a roll of baby blues, and she moves closer to the register. “ sure, they hate her. but  –  what would they have to talk about if she was gone? what would keep any of us here … you know? ” beat. “ still don’t think you should go around throwing stuff, though. even if you do hate her. we should just  –  leave her alone. as she does us. ”

[thirteenreasonsgifs]

[kevinoswalt]

tag drop :D

[kevinoswalt]

PIPPA ESPINA  –  vengefulseas·.

SHE CAN FEEL THE frustration creeping back into her voice, replacing sorrow and desperation. It’s not that she doesn’t understand — it’s that she doesn’t COMPREHEND. Each word makes sense, she recognizes them as things that are truths, but the idea of acting selfishly is a trait of her own that she’s always attributed as something toxic. And it is. But to do something in the interest of bettering herself, not furthering herself. Without the words to express how she feels — she’s NEVER been eloquent, it instead comes out in shouts and profanities. “ Which the FUCK is it, Kevin? Am — am I selfish? Do I think about no one but myself? Or … or — or do I need to do this for me? ” Head turns to the side, and voice is almost mocking. Not malicious, but tinged with bitterness. “ Hm? Or … or am I just supposed to MAGICALLY know what you want me to do? ” Anger breaks again, and voice breaks, fading back to sadness as quickly as it left it. The entire conversation is a roller coaster, emotional instability edging Pippa closer and closer to something. She isn’t quite sure what. “ Please just tell me what you want me to do. ” She steps backwards, back bumping into the wall of the hallway. “ You know what, Kev? Just — go to George’s. OKAY? Have fun. I’ll try not to be here when you get back. ”

kevin cannot recall the last time she’d been MAD  –  melancholy slipping away and outrage taking its place. suppose it would’ve been when her and nikolas broke up. but that was years ago, and she only realizes now how stupid that is. how incredibly naive and foolish of her to fall back on despondency when ANGER could’ve taken her places  –  towards results and conclusions. instead, she chose the high road and stuttered apologies. she needn’t be SORRY, she hadn’t done anything wrong. she feels it now, the frustration that bare indignation rather than gloom.  HAVE FUN …  as if all that was discussed moments ago was long forgotten. today wasn’t supposed to be about pippa espina, yet  –  somehow, like everything else  –  it manages to become exactly that. heaving another sigh, kevin retreats to her room in one wordless act, and with a bag thrown over bony shoulders, she makes her move towards the staircase. no time was given to mourn the strain of their relation, for others were in need of her sobs and prayers. and so, for the first time in a long time, kevin leaves pippa behind in SECOND PLACE.

[baharsahin-deactivated20221205]

[austin-mahones]

[kevinoswalt]

harvolas‌:

Siempre Bruja: Always a Witch (2019- )

[kevinoswalt]

starter for marion blake ( @pctrichvr ) !

roseburgh nursing home was a small establishment, kept up and running by a SELECT FEW residents of black spring. it wasn’t the most sought out workplace, and thus  –  denied applications were few and far between. in all her time there, which albeit wasn’t very long, kevin had never seen any applicants, let alone ones who were showed the door. yesterday had been an exception. “ i saw his resume, ” she continues, stirring her hot chocolate. warm drinks in the summer were supposedly better than cold, scientifically speaking, but all she felt was hot. “ it was terrible ! he mentioned prison. ” perhaps that was the part most telling as to why he’d applied in the first place. not because he’s an EX-CON, exactly, but that it meant he wasn’t a black spring native. he was new, probably disoriented and confused by the rules given  –  by a witch at that. she wanted to catch up with him afterwards, let him know black spring businesses weren’t his only option, but by the time she’d been given the DETAILS of his interview, he was long gone. surely, she’d bump into him again one of these days, she was bound to. unless … it’s a thought waved off with immediacy. kevin wasn’t going to assume another suicide would take place, even if the odds of her ever finding out were SLIM TO NONE. but, if she didn’t see him again  –  unfortunately, she’d be able to assume the fate he’d met. perhaps the most gloom part of black spring was the knowing. kevin wishes for blissful ignorance and never was she gifted with it. thoughts pushed aside, she goes on. “ under special skills, he said ‘keeping it real.’ ”