Lost In The Fire

Luciano ( Zeppelin ) Torres, 25, Psychology Major, ( Closeted )

[kfczeppelintorres]

LUCIANO ISAIAH (ZEPPELIN) TORRES has been accepted to participate ! they are a 25 year old all the way from San Jose, California . HE is currently studying PSYCHOLOGY at the interchange. 

✘ Statistics ✘

Name: Luciano Isaiah Zeppelin Torres 

Name Preferred: Zeppelin or Zep 

Age: Twenty Five 

Birthday: May 5th, 1997

Sign: Taurus

Hometown: San Jose, California 

Sexuality: Appears Straight is (Closeted)

Major: Psychology 

Past Job: Discharged from server burns on the chest, back, and upper arms, from the fire department a year prior due to a tragic and fatal emergency call. 

Hobbies: Soccer, Driving a motorcycle, Cooking (somewhat), Reading on the studies of the brain, Observing others. 

Tattoos: The date of death and initials of one of his fallen coworkers he was secretly in love with, who also happened to the first guy that made him realize he was the way he was. Something he will not talk about. On his left collarbone. 

Piercings: None 

Likes: Seeing the good in everyone. 

Dislikes: Prying eyes, Being asked about his personal life, Questioned about his sexuality, Fires. 

✘ Biography ✘

Not much about his life when Luciano was younger was different then most lower class families. His mother worked three jobs to feed him and his four younger sisters while his dad was out sleeping with the police chiefs wife. Well I suppose you could call that normal. He was angered at his father, he never understood how his mom was hard working and he got to sit home on his ass day drinking the beer he bought with the money she busted tables for, how his mother was still married to a useless piece of shit, because that was all his father was. A piece of shit. 

It wasn’t until he was about fifteen that his sisters were sent to live with his moms parents because home life between both his mom and dad grew harsh. Hearing the crying from his mom one day after school he rushed in to see her on the ground with a bruised eye and glass shattered around her and his dad yelling at her to clean it up and other profanities while in a drunken rage. Stepping up Luciano looked at his father and told him he couldn’t talk to ‘his’ mom that way and that’s all he remembered of that day before he woke up in the hospital with two cracked ribs, a broken nose, and arm the next morning.

The path of that abuse continued until he was a senior in high school. Sure Luciano was a smart kid, but the lack of sleep at home due to the dull aches, and the now over the last three years burn scars his dad gave him using him as a human astray fucked with his mind mentally. It was then he wanted to figure out what caused his father to act this way. So he took a psychology class to learn the basics. To learn about the brain and figure out why his dad was so fucked. Psych was the only class he excelled in while the others he passed with barely a c-. Having worked out and joined the soccer team that year he grew muscular. It wasn’t even the day after he graduated that his dad went at his mom again and he had enough. Taking the man by the collar of the shirt he slammed him into the wall and punched the area by his head as a warning. ‘Pack your shit and get out of our house.’ He hissed as he pulled his father forward before slamming him back into the wall. He was not ill tempered, but that was the day he and his mom watched his dad leave for good. 

When Luciano was nineteen he met Raine, a girl his age that was studying to become a police dispatcher. His whole life he went without having thoughts of needing someone else or wanting anyone, when he had a mother that he had to care for. Raine was the mayors youngest daughter and an intelligent and bright young woman. She was someone who seemed to know his struggles without him having to utter words about it or making him say something personal. It was her dad, the mayor, that was the one that introduced him to the fire chief who told him to sign up for the fire training academy when he was ready. Doing so almost a week later his application seemed to be put through fast and he was put in classrooms and drill grounds from ten to twenty four weeks, to which he succeeded and got the job as a probie ‘a rookie’ to the others. During that celebration period he turned twenty and was going on a year of knowing Raine and popped the question of becoming his wife.  

Raine never questioned their relationship. No one did. They shared a house and slept in separate rooms, they were engaged, but only kissed each others cheeks. There was a barrier, a wall, that went untouched, and not a single question was uttered why she would say she loved him and he could only mutter he liked her too, but then Gavin came into play. Gavin was Luciano’s partner on the job that transferred over from another station when he was now twenty two and still unwed living life with Raine like he was. Having a messy divorce with his husband the twenty five year old needed a way out, and up and left. Knowing all too well about messy relationships from his parents Luc opened his and Raine’s home for his partner. 

Routine was something the two were fond of and so often when his alarm went off in the early mornings Luciano would wake up, at first he was confused why his partner wasn’t on the couch waiting to be woken up by his own alarm like the first few months, but then he grew accustom to the strong pair of arms tugging him back into an equally strong chest to whisper good morning in that raspy morning voice. Then there was the way he would cook breakfast and the arms settled around his waist asking him what was on the menu, the subtle looks in the mirror when they brushed their teeth together, or perhaps grabbing their gear and the hand on his lower back guiding him out the door as they left for work as they said bye to Raine. Gavin had Luc’s stomach in knots with feelings he’s never felt. Not even for his fiance. 

It wasn’t until he was twenty three that Luciano realized that he was in love with Gavin and not his fiance. All this time they had together it was enough to drive him crazy, but he was committed and he couldn’t tell his partner that. When he was twenty four was when he lost them both, his fiance and Gavin. After that he went to the interchange program at twenty five to major in psychology and shadow Dr. Kiyani once a week off campus.

✘ Luciano & Gavin ✘

Going more into detail on what happened to Gavin when Luciano turned twenty four and before he left California to come to interchange. 

The both were on route back to the station when they were called to what they were notified was a Level I Incident, Type V ( code for - not that bad, made of wood )  to their knowledge. Getting out Luciano hooked up the hose as Gavin suited up to go in. Leaving to go in the two communicated through the walkies until there was an explosion that occurred on the inside and Luc patched in for back up from the truck. Being told to stand down, but seeing no sign of Gavin he suited up in his mask and tank running in to see the twenty with a small beam across him. Getting it off he began to drag him out by his pack before another beam split causing them to both get trapped under it. With the wood having been on fire it caused the burns he has to his parts of his back chest and arms. Looking at Gavin he reached out to taking his hand as he watched him regained a slight bit of consciousness back. “Hey, hey, Gav I got you, they’re coming for us.” He spoke with a small smile as his eyes watered. “Listen to me man, I-I love you, I think I have for a-a while now.” He said as Gavin looked at him and shook his head and clenched his hand pulling his mask off lifting up Luc’s as well pressing his lips against the twenty four year olds capturing his first kiss. Pulling the mask back down so Luciano could breath his eyes watered. “Baby Luc, I knew I liked you the day I saw you. There was something about you, but it’s my time, we all die at sometime, you’ve got to let me go, I love you.” Looking at Gavin, Luciano shook his head. “Y-you can’t leave me now, Gav, please, hang in there, if not for you do it for me.” He pleaded as he heard the man gasping for breath. “Gavin don’t do this to me, Gavin.” He sobbed as he tried to move but he laid limp as he watched the man he loved die in front of him. Three minutes later the team came in and got the beam off, putting out the fire. Three minutes too late. Having to be rushed out on the stretcher he watched as they denounced the one person he let himself love deceased.

At the hospital he was told he was temporarily paralyzed from the waist down from the beam. Raine came to see him, but he shut her out and ended the engagement. The funeral for the man he loved came that following week and he showed in a wheel chair pushed by the chief only to find that all Gavin’s belongings were signed to him. He pushed it down, the tears, would save it for when he was alone. He was upset, hurt, no one knew how he felt about the guy they were putting in the ground. It was their story. Their story that would never live out. 

Seven months later he was walking again slowly and surely, grief lingered, he talked to the chief and he understood, now here he was saying goodbye to Gavin for now. “I’m going to go away for a while Gav. I got accepted into this program, but I will come back when I can. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t miss you. Hold the fort down for me and please watch over my mom.” He said with a nod as he placed his hand to the head stone. “I-I still love you. I-I’ll always love you.” 

Playlist

[kfczeppelintorres]

TEXT ➜ REESE

reese: truthfully, i think the more that you try, the more it's going to eat you up. i get where you're coming from, but a lot of what's happening right now is you overthinking because you're missing half the puzzle. i would suggest that unless it becomes a problem, don't make it a problem and don't judge yourself based off something you /think/ to know or understand.

reese: christian mingle? no thank you. tinder's cool, i guess. i don't really know much about dating apps tbh never considered signing up for one before. but UM. that's a loaded question. are we talking relationship wise? a hook up? someone you can explore with? or what?

zeppelin: i suppose you are right. you do always give out wise words like the doc does.

zeppelin: i have never tried them myself, just seen the adds on tv or during youtube videos. one for each three. i want to see the way your mind works and try to figure out why you would choose each one of them.

[kfczeppelintorres]

TEXT ➜ REESE

reese: you're not a homewrecker. i'm pretty sure that requires certain things called *intent* and *knowing*. not that i'm advocating for what took place, because i most certainly am not, i'm just saying the ignorant party can't necessarily be held accountable in a situation such as this one. or .. something like that. i won't pretend it never happened tho. sorry, bud.

reese: at one point it sounded like there was some animosity towards her, but now it sounds like you're saying there's none? i'm getting whiplash lol but that business is between you two. so long as you're happy, i'm happy.

reese: sure! blind dates could be fun! ooooh, maybe we should both sign up for dating apps? that could be fun.

* 3 hours later *

zeppelin: sorry i texted him and apologized. i explained how i'm disappointed in myself for not noticing the ring and although i don't regret enjoying the time we shared, i regret sleeping with a married man. i also told him if he wanted to pin it to me i will take the fault if it came to him telling his wife. i don't think i can forget about it either. i tried working out and reading.. no luck.

zeppelin: a little, but i care for her. she was of my best friends back home besides the crew. i knew her for a good bit. although we hurt each other at times, she was there when i was recovering.

zeppelin: we can do that. tinder? christian mingle? if you had to pick three guys here who do you think you would blindly send me out with? i will return my answer for you with the mix of all.

[kfczeppelintorres]

TEXT ➜ EVERETT

everett: no worries, i just passed on the message and she says it's chill. she's actually been out being a little minx and kissing other peoples men too so we just called it even. no need to sweat about it

zeppelin: still doesn't make it right. my father was a cheat. it may not be my place, but if you both are fucking around with other people besides the obvious of who you are supposed to be committed to, don't you think you both deserve better? you can't just call something like that 'even'. where is the worth in that? man, take it from someone that was engaged from the time he was twenty til just last year. imagine four years of a loveless engagement to a woman you didn't love, you never kissed on the mouth, or touched a certain way. imagine staying committed and sharing a home, but never sleeping in the same bed. she may have cheated, but she knew deep down the depths of me could never force my feelings for her to be true. in telling you this, if you love your wife, fight for what you have. we all don't have the next day with the ones we love and that shouldn't be taken for granted.

[kfczeppelintorres]

[1]: interchange web chat

f.dawson: hey jackie, i know you stalk the chat

f.dawson: can we leave london now? we all saw the queenie we're good! we learnt our lesson!

f.dawson: simmons man if you're there SOS!

a.andrews: ms renaldi, i'm scared. i can't even enjoy my lunch in case a ghost finds me!

b.mulaney-rilke: ms renaldi, i just want to say that you are beautiful, talented, show-stopping, brilliant, out of this world.

b.mulaney-rilke: but i also want to take this opportunity to ask for your blessing and possibly sponsoring the love machines as the program's official band and we can make a jingle for future interchange ads.

b.mulaney-rilke: my girlfriend would also love a shoes connoisseurs club called connoiSHOErs (i came up with the name, i know it's genius). please let us know if you can sanction these clubs. thank you for your time.

b.mulaney-rilke: also hi dean simons because jackie probably gossips about us with you

b.mulaney-rilke: #MISSBROWNWEALSOLOVEYOU

z.torres: dr. kiyani and reese i am certainly making an all out confession like advised. what better way then behind a mask of sorts?

z.torres: this has been weighing heavily on me for quite some time....

z.torres: i'm a hell of a cook. ♡ damn that felt good. i will have to confess other things more often.

[kfczeppelintorres]

TEXT ➜ EVERETT

zeppelin: i just needed to apologize for putting you in a position of cheating on your wife. i realize entirely this makes me a homewrecker, and i am heavily disappointed in myself. i failed to notice a ring. i did have a great time with you and haven't regretted it. i do however regret the fact that it was done with someone that was married. i'm sorry, i can't apologize enough, and if it comes down to it and your wife wants to blame you, send her my way and i'll fault myself.

[kfczeppelintorres]

2messybitches​:

the blackout had been quite exciting but she hadn’t seen any demons, sadly. she’d quite like to see some ghastly apparition standing at the end of her bed but as morning draws, there’s only her roomie. “you think that there’s a way to let the ghosts know they can come visit me?”

Zeppelin seemed to busy himself in his thoughts as sat in corner of his and Hazel dark room with a hand press to his face. Hearing her voice he looked up turning his head to face her, the evidence of a restless night written on his face. Everett Andrews took his virginity and failed to mention he was married weighted heavily on his shoulders. The call to his mama and how she yelled at him after he told her what happened sent his mind into a frenzy. He tried to pick at his own head trying to remember if he saw a ring and he couldn’t remember seeing one. The haunted expression was on his face as he looked at her. “No, I think they think my mere presence is haunting enough.” He spoke a void to his tone as he stared at her. The tears that wanted to come no longer a threat to spill because his eyes were dry. “I feel like a ghost. Might as well be a ghost after someone scorned comes and murders me.” He spoke his tone serious. “Could I blame them? Not in the least.” 

[kfczeppelintorres]

TEXT ➜ REESE

reese: um. if it's any consolation, their .. situation? .. is complicated, but it's not my business to tell. plus, you didn't know, so there's that, too.

reese: hun, it sounds like you two have a conversation that still needs to take place. especially if you're hoping to move forward.

reese: that's understandable. and i know this is easier said than done, but if you continue to hide parts of yourself, you rob others of the opportunity to even try to like you the way he did.

zeppelin: i um think i need to go call my mama... i can't believe i let a married man... i need to go.. just pretend none of this never happened. she's going to be so disappointed in me. i'm disappointed in me... i..i'm a homewrecker.

zeppelin: she has and so have i, she and i text still. she's a good friend of mine. i may have not loved her like that, but she is respects and i understand that she deserved better.

zeppelin: maybe i should take small steps, try a few blind dates. i don't know who i would be interested in.

[kfczeppelintorres]

TEXT ➜ REESE

reese: listen. sometimes you just gotta .. hit people where it hurts. it's okay even if you did say it. i don't know how i feel about a rating system like that, but as your friend, i'm glad you liked it? as his wife's friend, i think both of you were wrong? i'm putting myself in an odd position here and i'm not quite sure what to say.

reese: okay, well. no offense, but she sounds like a bitch. should you have stayed engaged to someone for that long? probably not and whereas she has a right to be angry, it's not a matter of fault. sometimes, we're just dealt shitty hands & most of the time, we never know what the right thing to do is until well after the moment has passed. i don't think you should stay silent about who you like tho; it's perfectly okay for you to take pride in and respect your feelings. no matter who they may be for.

reese: you have a space here and you're allowed to have that space. and within that space, you're also allowed to be whoever you are. or those are my thoughts, anyway.

zeppelin: HIS WIFE?!?! are you telling me i lost my virginity to a married man.... this is a joke.. this is a joke right...? no... i um.. fuck.

zeppelin: i mean i think she may have a right to be angry, but if she knew something before i was even sure about it myself, she could have ended the engagement as well. she didn't have to cheat. i stayed in because i wanted to try to love her, but i couldn't, not with gavin and i as close as we were, but i never chased after gavin like that.

zeppelin: i get that, i'm just trying to figure out how to still be me. i just know i have a hard time wanting to do it. what if no one will like me the way he did you know?

[kfczeppelintorres]

closed starter  ➜  @natredd​​

Zeppelin sat in the lobby with the stack of papers in front of him chewing on the end of his pen. He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose as his head bobbed to the particular song that played on his spotify playlist. Reading the question on one of the pages in front of him, ‘What are the eight core cognitive capacities?‘, he grabbed the notebook next to him as he began to write what he studied. ‘The eight core cognitive capacities are the following: sustained attention, response inhibition, speed of information processing, cognitive flexibility, multiple simultaneous attention, working memory, category formation, and pattern recognition.’ Looking down at the next question he began to read. before he felt the hand grasp his shoulder. Feeling his body shutter as he jumped and dropped the pen in hand, he turned looking at the person he didn’t recall, ripping his headphones out. “May I help you?” He questioned as he took his glasses off setting them in their case as a frown settled on his lips. 

[kfczeppelintorres]

TEXT ➜ REESE

reese: i don't think it's weird you said that, given your situation. and whereas everett likes to say he's a lot of things, most of them bad unless he's tootin' his own sex horn, he's one of the good ones. at least, he always has been to me. i can't speak on other people's experiences .. but on the off chance he tells anyone anything that makes you uncomfortable, give him a swift punch in the dick.

reese: naaah, in all seriousness, i can't really talk much about any of that because i know that is a very personal thing. what worries you the most about it, tho? if you don't mind my asking.

zeppelin: damn reese, way to make my own throb at the mention of punching someone else in the family jewels. i think i just got goosebumps. i do think he is a good guy. he hasn't given me a reason to believe otherwise. i happen to find our one shared experience quite nice. i never knew there was another guy out there that would like having his shirt on during an exchange of pleasure like the one i've received that night. over all i give him an A+. i did not just say that... it is not happening again. not even if he enjoyed if half as much as i seemed to.

zeppelin: i don't know. i was engaged to a girl for four years, i know i didn't love her, but in knowing so she cheated on me and although it was gav that kissed me in the end i kissed him back in the moment of fear and knowing i actually loved him back. part of me thinks raine alway knew i was into men and that she had a hand in pushing gav closer to me. when i ended the engagement after he passed she looked at me unfazed and told me i should have done it sooner, that i could have had him sooner, that i no only wasted her time, but his. so it's my fault and i chose to stay silent about who i like.

[kfczeppelintorres]

You light the skies up above me A star so bright you blind me, yeah, yeah Don't close your eyes Don't fade away, don't fade away, oh

Yeah, you and me we can ride on a star If you stay with me, girl, we can rule the world Yeah, you and me we can light up the sky If you stay by my side, we can rule the world

If walls break down, I will comfort you If angels cry, oh, I'll be there for you You've saved my soul Don't leave me down, don't leave me now, oh

@reesepce - someone the zeppelin thinks the highest and is quite fond of. since their first interaction he knew that she was destined to be a sole person he confines in and the brightest star that guides him through the darkest of days. his best friend. his rock. in return he hopes he is able to return the same. this one person holds so much importance to him and although he isn’t in love with her, he loves her with his whole heart for the person she is, a caring, gentle, compassionate, understanding, intelligent, and very beautiful individual woman. 

[kfczeppelintorres]

TEXT ➜ REESE

reese: hm. this has all been very enlightening, thank you for sharing and being honest with me.

reese: he's not in trouble tho and you don't have to worry about anything. it's just me being nosy because telling him how to live his life brings me immense satisfaction .. it's kind of our thing lol

zeppelin: of course. that makes sense. you are a good friend.

zeppelin: is it weird that i made him swear to keep my loosing my virginity to him a secret? i'm not sure if i'm ready for the world to know i am the way am, but now i guess the only people that know is the administration team, you, and him, somewhat. i just hope he actually doesn't tell anyone... i don't know what i would do..

[kfczeppelintorres]

TEXT ➜ REESE

reese: you don't have to defend yourself to me, zep. you didn't do anything wrong.

reese: did he drink it tho? like, any of it?

zeppelin: he's not in trouble is he?

zeppelin: he took the one shot, but i did say he might have needed it for liquid courage and then i was whispering in his ear. he didn't ask for more, i didn't offer, he just sipped his coke.

zeppelin: what's going on reese? is he not supposed to drink?

[kfczeppelintorres]

TEXT ➜ REESE

reese: lol i'm sorry, did you say drinks? what do you mean "gave him his shot"? are my eyes are tweakin?

zeppelin: i only just ever meet the guy this once besides the text about some love machine concert, but yes, being polite i asked if he wanted a dr. pepper, a coke, a whiskey or something. he said he wanted a whiskey so i got him a shot... was i not supposed to? i got him a coke as well along with it and myself a dr. pepper.

[kfczeppelintorres]

TEXT ➜ REESE

reese: what do you mean by that? we don't need to be paired, you've already got me! but even i can agree that it would have been fun had i been. most of the ones i got were .. blah, but that could've been my own fault, too.

reese: i have no doubt that you could, but does that mean you don't want to be immune? or that you didn't at the time? but okay, wait. start from the beginning. how exactly did this proposition come about?

reese: and you don't have to worry about that. i'm cool hearing whatever it is you wanna share, hun.

zeppelin: nothing out of sort reeses' cups. i'm just saying if we have gotten paired we could just be us already, talking or not. i mean everett my only, so i can't compare the others.. sadly. don't blame you, you can't blame yourself if they are duller then a unsharpened pencil.

zeppelin: god, i am immune now. one time was all he was going to get. i told the guy 'what happened in london stayed here in london' what i meant was 'what happed the night of speed dating was a one and done.' he doesn't get an all access pass.

zeppelin: i offered to get drinks and he asked if when i got back if when i got back i was going to tell him a deep dark secret or my sexual fantasies.. so when i got back i gave him his shot and leaned over and told him i don't have those. that i wouldn't know where to begin because i was a well virgin, except i asked him not to make me say it. he got it, and asked if i wanted to change it and i laid out the context of the no strings and attachment.

[kfczeppelintorres]

TEXT ➜ REESE

reese: i don't think they really cared much about that tbh. if i were putting together the event, i wouldn't put any gender limitations on matches because even if it doesn't go a romantic route, making new friends is pretty dope, too.

reese: LOL this is /everett/ we're talking about. there are many possibilities and almost all of them are sexual. not many people are immune to him.

zeppelin: i wouldn't have minded being paired with you, but i suppose you are right.

zeppelin: i could be if i wanted. he wanted to know a secret and i happened to tell him one and offered him a no strings, no attachment, just single once and a lifetime offer to take my virginity so i learn something from it and it be over and done with.

zeppelin: i am sorry if that is tmi... o.o