Summary: As Aqua mentors her in the ways of the Keyblade, Kairi confronts her doubts and insecurities. Set after the ending of Melody of Memory.
No matter how times Kairi stared at the sky that blanketed the Mysterious Tower, she was still fascinated by how the bottom half was stuck in perpetual sunset just like Twilight Town while the top half was stuck in eternal night.
Her eyes focused on the stars as they twinkled against the velvety-black backdrop. She couldn’t help but think of the nights when she, Sora, and Riku used to lay side by side on the beach on Destiny Islands and gaze into infinity.
She also couldn’t help but think about the nights she stared up at the stars while waiting for Sora to return home after his first journey, searching fervently for a star that would lead her back to him.
He did return home finally.
But as fate would have it, they were now separated once more.
Sure, they had a lead to Sora’s whereabouts which Riku was investigating, but it shouldn’t have turned out like this.
Kairi couldn’t help but think that if she hadn’t gotten herself kidnapped by Xemnas which lead to Master Xehanort destroying her body, Sora wouldn’t have been forced to use the Power of Waking to revive her and he wouldn’t have disappeared.
Sora’s gone…because of me.
The front door to the Mysterious Tower swung open, and Kairi turned her head. Aqua stepped through the doorway.
Kairi immediately rose to her feet. “Master Aqua,” she said in a serious voice.
Aqua chuckled. “How many times do I have to tell you? You can just call me Aqua.”
“Right,” Kairi said, smiling sheepishly.
Kairi nodded her head. “Ready.”
The sounds of Kairi’s and Aqua’s Keyblades clanging against each other echoed across the empty courtyard as they traded quick blows. No matter how hard Kairi tried, she couldn’t get past Aqua’s defense.
She gritted her teeth as she tried harder but Aqua easily deflected each strike of hers like it was nothing.
Frustration bubbled up inside her, and her attacks became increasingly sloppy.
Kairi’s body went on auto-pilot as unpleasant memories surfaced in the forefront of her mind.
“You’re the fire that feeds Sora’s anger.”
Kairi lunged at Aqua with a horizontal strike which Aqua blocked.
“What difference does one little light make? You have others.”
Kairi lunged at her again with another horizontal strike which the latter blocked again.
“In the end, you were destroyed by my hand, paving the way for Sora’s disappearance.”
Kairi lunged at Aqua with a horrendously telegraphed forward thrust. Aqua darted to the right.
Just as Kairi turned to attack again, Aqua made her Keyblade disappear, forcing Kairi to stop in her tracks. “Alright, I think that’s enough for now.”
“Let’s take a break. We need to talk.”
Aqua returned with a bottle of water which she handed to Kairi who was sitting on the steps outside the Tower.
“Thanks,” Kairi said as she accepted the bottle.
Kairi unscrewed the lid and took a few sips.
“So, you want to tell me what’s going on?” Aqua asked. “I can tell there’s something bothering you.”
Kairi wiped her mouth and set the water bottle down beside her. She was silent for a few moments as she tried to gather her thoughts. She wasn’t sure where to start, and all her pent-up feelings burst free like a dam.
“Axel—Lea—kidnapped me in the past as part of the Organization’s plan to manipulate Sora. Naminé and Riku had to rescue me. So when I received my Keyblade for the first time, I said, ‘This time, I’ll fight’, because I was tired of doing nothing while waiting on the sidelines. And not long after that, I started training under Merlin. When we all fought against the Real Organization 13, I was eager to prove myself, to show how strong I had gotten. But in the end, I didn’t really do much of anything, and I just ended up making things worse for everyone.”
“I froze up when Terra-Xehanort attacked me at the Keyblade Graveyard and Lea got hurt because of me. And Sora almost got hurt too.”
“And then I got kidnapped again by Xemnas which led to Master Xehanort striking me down just so he could motivate Sora into fighting him. And Sora sacrificed himself to bring me back.”
“I fought an illusion of Master Xehanort while I was asleep for a year, but I couldn’t defeat him. Sora had to rescue me and control my body remotely to get the job done.” Kairi drew her knees into her chest and rested her chin on top. “No matter how hard I try, I can never do anything on my own.”
“Kairi…” Aqua sighed. “You’re being too hard on yourself.”
“Sora’s gone because of me.”
“It’s true!” Kairi exclaimed. “None of you will say it but Sora’s in the predicament he’s in because I wasn’t strong enough to prevent myself from getting captured in the first place. All of this is my fault.”
Kairi fell silent. Aqua stared at Kairi silently for several moments, biting her lip, before she turned and looked out at the courtyard.
“You know,” Aqua said softly, “there was a time when I blamed myself for what happened to Terra and Ventus. I thought maybe if I hadn’t been so blunt with them, I wouldn’t have pushed them away and they wouldn’t have gotten themselves ensnared in Master Xehanort’s trap. Ventus called me awful, and said that I let becoming a Keyblade Master go to my head.”
Kairi glanced at her. “He said that to you?”
“Yeah. And he was right. I was so focused on doing the right thing and trying to keep my friends safe, that I didn’t realize I was doing the exact opposite. In the end, Terra became possessed by Master Xehanort and Ventus lost his heart and became comatose.”
Aqua shrugged her shoulders. “I had to accept what happened. And when Ansem the Wise told me about Sora’s actions while I was stuck in the Realm of Darkness, I trusted that he would be the one to save me and my friends. There was no other way. The best of us need saving sometimes.”
Kairi turned away, staring despondently at the ground. “It seems like all I do is get saved by others.”
“You need to give yourself more credit. You haven’t have been training with the Keyblade for a long time but you’re already relatively good with it so far.”
“Of course I think so,” Aqua said with a soft smile. “I’ve only been training with you for a few days so far but I think you should be proud of yourself. You got a great handle on swordplay techniques, you’re pretty skilled in magic, and you’ve got good instincts.”
“None of that means anything if I end up becoming a liability in battle.”
“I think you need to be more patient and forgiving of yourself. It’s true that out of all the Guardians you have the least amount of combat experience. And it’s okay to be upset about what happened in the past, to you and to Sora. But you shouldn’t let that frustration beat you down. You should channel it into determination, determination to keep pushing forward and working hard so you can be confident in your abilities.”
Aqua placed a hand on Kairi’s shoulder, causing the latter to look at her. “There’s strength in your heart. And it’s that strength that made you a Keyblade wielder in the first place. If you just keep trying, there’s nothing you can’t accomplish.”
“Yeah. All masters like myself were novices once. Remember that the next time you get discouraged by your progress. You’re going to do great things one day, I’m sure of it.”
Kairi’s face brightened. “Thanks, Aqua. I really needed to hear that.”
“Anytime.” Aqua stood up. “Do you want to keep sparring or do you want to switch to magic practice now?”
Kairi thought about it for a moment. “We can keep sparring. I…think I’m good for now.”
“Alright, let’s get back to it.” Aqua descended the steps and headed towards the courtyard.
Kairi stood and looked up at the sky again.
Sora…You’ve always saved me, so I’m going to return the favor. I’m tired of being the one being saved. I’m going to save you this time.
Kairi clenched her hand into a fist.
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