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@kickassastrology
a million clementines
a million clementines thrown at my body at the same time
it's my birthday! i'm coming back to this blog next week. I'm sorry I was gone for so much longer than anticipated. getting help for my mental illness was something I really needed to do, and it required the bulk of my attention. I finally feel ready to get back into the swing of things. I hope you understand bb's 💖
MOON SIGNS ☽
MOST PASSIONATE: Lunar Aries MOST RELIABLE: Lunar Taurus MOST FUN: Lunar Gemini MOST EMOTIONAL: Lunar Cancer MOST COLORFUL: Lunar Leo MOST INTELLIGENT: Lunar Virgo MOST SELFLESS: Lunar Libra MOST INTENSE: Lunar Scorpio MOST CAREFREE: Lunar Sagittarius MOST SUCCESSFUL: Lunar Capricorn MOST CLAIRVOYANT: Lunar Aquarius MOST COMPASSIONATE: Lunar Pisces
Dark Side ~ ARIES MOON: selfish, impulsive, domineering, opinionated, impatient, vain, insensitive, hot-headed TAURUS MOON: self- indulgent, possessive, jealous, rigid, overcautious, slave to routine, stubborn GEMINI MOON: bratty, disorganized, inconsistent, superficial, manipulative, cunning CANCER MOON: moody, self-pitying, naggy, possessive, smug, touchy LEO MOON: self-centered, conceited, bullying, overbearing, indulgent, lustful, vain, narcissistic, dramatic, egocentric VIRGO MOON: critical, high-strung, standoffish, argumentative, hypochondriac, has health-issues LIBRA MOON: dreamy, too trusting , indecisive, changeable, dependent, needy, passive, sensitive, selfless SCORPIO MOON: sadistic, secretive, jealous, domineering, heartless, aggressive, cruel SAGITTARIUS MOON: restless, shallow, extravagant, immature, reckless, irresponsible, uncommitted, careless CAPRICORN MOON: power-hungry, cold-hearted, pessimistic, materialistic, depressed, selfish, greedy AQUARIUS MOON: unpredictable, aloof, arrogant, stubborn, tactless, unemotional, contrary, distant PISCES MOON: innocent, gullible, unselfish, vague, confusing, vulnerable, masochistic
Stacy, do you remember when I mowed your lawn: Cancer, Sagittarius, Libra
Your mom came out with just a towel on: Pisces, Leo, Taurus
I could tell she liked me from the way she stared: Scorpio, Virgo, Aquarius
And the way she said, "You missed a spot over there": Capricorn, Gemini, Aries
The Signs as Urban Dictionary Entries
Aries:
Taurus:
Gemini:
Cancer:
Leo:
Virgo:
Libra:
Scorpio:
Sagittarius:
Capricorn:
Aquarius:
Pisces:
What the signs feel insecure about in relationships
(Venus and sun sign is applicable)
Aries: Their body.
Taurus: Their partners loyalty.
Gemini: Feeling like they’re annoying.
Cancer: Feeling like they’re too much to handle.
Leo: Feeling like they have to compete with their lover.
Virgo: Not meeting their lovers expectations.
Libra: Not being good enough.
Scorpio: Partners past lovers.
Sagittarius: Feeling like they can’t be honest.
Capricorn: Feeling like they’re failing their lover.
Aquarius: Losing their connection.
Pisces: Everything.
HOW THE SIGNS GET DRESSED
Aries: Puts on the first thing they see even if it doesn't match
Taurus: Today is a good day for sweatpants *says same thing everyday*
Gemini: I should wear this in case it's hot, but what if I get cold? What will I do then?
Cancer: *Tries on everything* DO I EVEN OWN ANYTHING
Leo: Hey this makes my boobs look nice lets do dis
Virgo: I FORGOT TO IRON THIS I CANT WEAR THIS ?????
Libra: I can't pick someone pls help me call the fashion police
Scorpio: Why can't I just go naked
Sagittarius: Do these cargo pants match my hiking boots
Capricorn: All black.
Aquarius: *only wears light reflecting clothing in hopes of attracting aliens*
Pisces: It's pink I'll wear it
Dominant Signs
Aries dominant: Constantly fighting themselves. Finding themselves in strange places, just trying to find where they belong in the world but. As much as they don’t want to admit it, they still have weaknesses. They’re special people, they’re just so honest with what they say, so truthful with compliments. They love to be in control and being the leader of others is a fascinating experience for them but they can definitely be immature. They’re not the type to plan things, they’re doers. They think then they do, no matter the consequences. It can be both a good and bad thing.
Taurus dominant: Constantly trying to calm everyone down, they’re just so warm and gentle. They can feel so comfortable with themselves and make everybody around them comfortable as well. They love luxurious things, fluffy things, great foods and they can pamper themselves so well. They’re very romantic, they love being wooed. It’s their thing but they can be a little too stubborn, always needing every single thing to be in the way they want it.
Gemini dominant: Constantly thinking, their minds couldn’t be stopped. They’re wanderers, always so curious, their minds always so sharp. There are too many things going on all the time, they have to pick up pieces and fit them together. It’s what they live for. Without it, their world seems empty. They can talk so much, they can talk about anything and everything for hours on end. It can get a little annoying but nonetheless, they are amazing conversationalists.
Cancer dominant: Constantly trying to read people. They’re so sensitive to emotions and can and will read others emotional responses pretty easily. But because of this, they have to be careful not to manipulate others just because they can. They’re family oriented people, loves being in a group and nurturing others. They may seem so emotionally all over the place but inside they have it all sorted out. They are so much stronger than they appear and they can definitely take a lot before they break down.
Leo dominant: Constantly trying to be in the spotlight. They need to shine and they live to perform. They love the applause they get showing off one of their many great qualities. Center of the stage, center of their group, always have to get their way. Their presence is so glamorous. I do admit though, beware of their egos. Be careful not to let it get out of hand. They’re just so confident, they just have an uplifting and powerful presence to them.
Virgo dominant: Constantly trying improve themselves. They are so smart, they’re unbelievably right all the time. Always wanting the best for themselves and others maybe they can come off as a nag sometimes but in their hearts. They want the best for everyone. They can have a lot of mental activity going on but it’s really focused. They also have to face and accept their own flaws. But for them, they see their own faults but tries so hard to fight them and bury them.
Libra dominant: Constantly trying to be beautiful, they need beauty and grace. It runs in their veins. They breathe in air, breathe out love. They need peace so badly that they’re willing to sacrifice and compromise anything to get it. They have to learn to put themselves in front of others sometimes, even though they maybe fear confrontation just a little bit. They need beauty to feel whole, to feel human. They need beautiful things and a graceful style. Can also definitely pull off a lot of different styles.
Scorpio dominant: Constantly changing, constantly breaking into pieces and putting themselves back together again. There needs to be an amazing amount of strength to keep them alive, to keep them sane. Maybe that’s why they’re so stubborn, to trying to keep themselves from changing but they fail and has to ‘control’ everything else. They’re so deeply emotional and things are either black or white for them, which can make them really intense.
Sagittarius dominant: Constantly trying to learn and teach. Even if it’s just the little things. They know so much and they love being free, truly free and they are. They’re explorers , hates being in the same place, the same situation time after time. They’re so good at being free, no restraints, no rules, just themselves and a world for them to explore. So straightforward, maybe too blunt, might offend some people from time to time.
Capricorn dominant: Constantly trying to be the best but there always are people who try to undermine them. They try and they try to fight against their underminers but need to accomplish anything to prove themselves to the world because they need it to survive. Believe that they will stop at nothing to get what they want. They’re so organized, they’ve got everything sorted out and is so reliable. They usually aren’t the ones to flake on you once you’ve made plans.
Aquarius dominant: Constantly trying to be different and it’s what they’re best at. They need to stand out, be eccentric. They love it, they love the feel of being called weird. Although they’re so strange and unemotional, they still need support, they need ego strokes to feel special. They have to learn that they’re already so unique but has to come to terms that they can’t be the most unique person. Has to understand that ego strokes aren’t the way to go when they’re craving comfort and love.
Pisces dominant: Constantly floating in a pool of their emotions. Sometimes their emotions can control them instead of them, it and swallow them whole. They have to try to swim up in the cloudy water to breathe again. It’s so hard they might say, wallowing in their pity..and it is. But there comes a point where they have to swim upstream their emotions or problems, so they’d come out the other side alive.
Maybe moon too
WHAT MAKES THE SIGNS SMILE
Aries: Praise and bonfires
Taurus: Cuddles and objects of luxury
Gemini: Fame and warm places
Cancer: Antique shows and museums
Leo: Adoration and children
Virgo: Books and sunny windows
Libra: Fresh-cut flowers and diamonds
Scorpio: Exotic food and star-gazing
Sagittarius: Sunrises and New Years Eve
Capricorn: Nice sweaters and surprises
Aquarius: City nights and raspberries
Pisces: Unused paintbrushes and red wine
signs most likely to lust over you
based on the cusps of the 5th & 8th house
*use your rising sign & partner’s sun/moon/mars/venus*
aries rising: leo & scorpio
taurus rising: virgo & sagittarius
gemini rising: libra & capricorn
cancer rising: scorpio & aquarius
leo rising: sagittarius & pisces
virgo rising: capricorn & aries
libra rising: aquarius & taurus
scorpio rising: pisces & gemini
sagittarius rising: aries & cancer
capricorn rising: taurus & leo
aquarius rising: gemini & virgo
pisces rising: cancer & libra
check your actual chart if you have interceptions bc it could be different!!
how to tell if the signs like you
venus: how you act in love and relationships. feminine energies (typically, females express their venus more than their mars when showing romantic interest, as venus is a feminine and passive planet and projects femininity*)
mars: sexual attraction, passion and anger. masculine energies (typically, males express their venus more than their mars when showing romantic interest, as mars is a masculine and active planet and projects masculinity*)
(if you don’t know their venus or mars signs, look here)
Venus
aries: they are not subtle. if they like you, they will be outright flirting and not really trying to hide it. they lose interest quickly, so if you’re keeping the conversation alive and keeping them interested, good on you. if they’re trying to keep the conversation flowing, especially when there could be a awkward pause in a conversation, that’s a sign that they could be into you.
taurus: will be very loyal to you and act almost like they’re in a relationship already. they spend a lot of their time with you/talking to you, and seem committed to you already. they can be quite touchy-feely, so if they are being cuddly or trying to hold hands or other tactile methods, they could be interested.
gemini: can be a bit of a natural flirt, they’ll make witty comments and probably initiate a lot of the conversation. they like to be intellectually stimulated, so if you can keep up with them on whatever subject they’ve led you to and voice your own (well-educated on the subject) opinions, they’ll be more interested. if they do like you, when the conversation runs to a halt, they will try to continue it by asking something new/starting a new topic. they won’t let the conversation run out with someone they like.
cancer: they will really try to get to know you emotionally, so that they can understand you more deeply and bond with you, and so that they can care for you in an appropriate way. these people are the types who would bake you cookies and come over with the whole happy potter series if you’re feeling down. they can be quite friendly to everyone, but they’ll be trying to spend as much time with you as possible if they’re interested in you.
leo: they will really play up their emotions and give their 110% into your relationship even if there’s nothing romantic going on yet. they don’t like to be bored, and will be trying to keep you entertained - with them as the entertainer - so you don’t have to be bored either. they will be very loving and adoring and will expect the same in return. if you seem to be holding back the love, they might get quite frustrated if they like you.
virgo: they’ll try to change you to be a better person, they’ll point out your flaws and try to help you be the best version of you. they will really want to get to know you first, so if they like you, a lot of time will be spent getting to know you as deeply as possible. they like to know who they’re dealing with before jumping into a relationship. they can also be quite shy, and aren’t the likeliest sign to tell you how they feel first.
libra: it can be quite hard to tell, because these are the typical sociable and sometimes an ‘accidental flirt’ types. if they’re really interested in you, what may change from their normal behaviour is that they may become a little bit more clingy. they’ll want to make sure that you feel comfortable, and will be polite and well-mannered around you.
scorpio: can either be quite bold, or very shy. either way, they’re likely to spend a lot of time gazing at you. the shy types will try to get into situations where they’re near you, but they might not necessarily say anything for their nervousness, and will usually be a little distance away from you, staring at the ground and blushing if you’re looking at them. the type that are more direct will be very direct, and will probably outright flirt with you and make it quite clear that they like you - it is really hard to miss.
sagittarius: they’ll want to know a lot about you, all your views, all your opinions. they’ll want to go places with you and have adventures. they’re very social, but in a social situation that includes the person they like, they will spend more time around them and try to initiate conversations with them. they’re not shy either, and might just prefer to tell you their feelings outright instead of waiting for you to make a move.
capricorn: really bad at flirting!! don’t know how to do it! it might happen accidentally with people they don’t like romantically, but they just can’t figure it out with people they do like. they’ll ask a lot of questions, try to find out what you’re like, what your future plans are, get to know you really well. they might get a little upset if you’re talking to someone else instead of them all the time or put them in second place. they might initiate conversation, but if it trails off and they feel that they’re annoying you, they’d let it die unless you bring it back again.
aquarius: they’ll tell you a lot about themselves, so that you know how interesting they are and how much fun they can be. they don’t like clinginess, so don’t expect messages from them 24/7, but if they’re talking to you and initiating conversations a lot of the time thats a good sign that they’re interested. they might want to introduce you to their friends, or take you places with them like social gatherings and parties.
pisces: they usually go out of their way to help their friends anyway, but will be extra attentive to someone they like. they’ll want to get to know you, asking mostly trivial things, and will keep the mood quite light for the most of the time, but will sometimes slip into really deep conversations and try to see a side of you that other people don’t.
Mars
aries: can be really excitable and try to show off. will be more optimistic than normal, they’ll try get you involved in everything. If they aren’t big on games, they may just tell you outright - it takes a little persuasion and courage on their part and you allowing them to feel comfortable around you, but they would rather just tell you outright than leave it to guessing.
taurus: can be a little possessive of you, also quite likely to be pretty touchy-feely and would want to spend a lot of time with you in person. can be a little demanding and might want you to talk to them all the time if they like you. if they like you, they’d get very jealous when you spend time with another guy and it would be preeetty obvious.
gemini: they like change, so if they’re still talking to you after a while, then you’re probably in the clear. they don’t like being bored, so if they like you, they’d be initiating conversations and asking questions and not letting the conversation die.
cancer: will talk to you a lot, and it’ll be quite obvious if they like you. they’ll want to spend time with you and will look for excuses to talk to you or see you more often. they will try to make you feel safe, and the amount of time they want to spend with you could come off as a little bit clingy sometimes but they just want to be there with you for everything.
leo: is really romantic in the sense that they’ll make you their number one priority and since they’re very dramatic, they’ll probably attempt a lot of impressive gestures to win your favour. they’re very prideful, so if they’re sharing information about themselves which could lead to their downfall (personal info that not many people know), it shows that they trust you.
virgo: if they can really relax with you, that’s amazing. they find it hard to chill out and stop over-analysing things, so if your company makes them able to relax, you’re definitely something special to them (whether romantic or platonic). they’ll notice all the little details about you and remember everything, and they’ll use their memory to show how much they care.
libra: can be quite flirty in general, they’re people pleasers. they’ll want to spend time one on one, and they’ll listen to you and try to find out everything about you. they hate to be alone, and if you’re the person they often pick to spend time with/accompany them somewhere, they may like you.
scorpio: very powerful and intense, they’ll want to spend a lot of time with you and can be very jealous. they have very strong feelings in general, if you’re lucky enough to know all about their inner feelings and they tell you all of their deepest, darkest secrets, they might be interested.
sagittarius: will try to become your friend first and scope you out, make sure you’re able to keep up in intellectual conversations. they would share all their opinions on as many different topics as they can, and always be up for a good debate. they’re quite likely to just actually tell you their feelings if they do have any for you, as they’re very to the point and don’t like wasting time.
capricorn: usually isn’t too obvious, because as with capricorn venus, they can be quite distant and emotionally shy. if they’re trying to organize things with you, plan out a trip or a meeting with you or a group of people and you, they could be trying to set apart time for you two to spend time together. they’ll take their time to decide on you, and that could take a very looong time, and they may not even be the first to tell you that they’re interested. if you think they like you, you should probably try to make the first move or it just might not happen.
aquarius: they can usually be quite cold to people, so if they’re showing you some warmth that’s a good sign. If they’re talking to you throughout the day while they’re busy doing other things, that’s great. they dislike pointless conversation, and they prefer talking about things that are interesting to them with people they care about. they look for like-minded individuals, and if you show them that you think the same way, you stand a good chance.
pisces: they’ll try to get to know you, and ask you questions that won’t be too personal for fear of scaring you away. they may be a little shy, or humble even, when you ask them questions about themselves or things that they’re good at/into. if they share their opinions on more serious subjects (political views, global warming, war, etc) rather than just on meaningless things to fill the space, that can be a good sign.
Check Mars
When you are angry you are animated and your face becomes red and you become loud and physical. People feel like there’s a thunder that will hit them out of nowhere when they are around you:
Taurus, Aries, Capricorn, Leo
When you are angry you become so cold, sarcastic and so very calm and you have a death stare that makes people feel like dying. You will be surround with an aura that is so dark and empty and people won’t come near you:
Scorpio, Cancer, Sagittarius, Virgo
When you are angry you will say the most meanest horrendous things ever and you will reveal the weakness of the person who made you angry and they will feel so little in front of you:
Pisces, Aquarius, Gemini, Libra
Nonphysical Traits that Attract the Signs
Aries: Inaccessibility and a challenge
Taurus: Devotion and appreciation of beauty
Gemini: Good conversation and prestige
Cancer: Warmth and accessibility
Leo: Generosity and popularity
Virgo: Responsibility and patience
Libra: Well-spokenness and tolerance
Scorpio: Loyalty and uniqueness
Sagittarius: Humor and multilingualism
Capricorn: Self-sufficiency and competitiveness
Aquarius: Independence and status
Pisces: Kindness and nonmaterial affection
the signs as things overheard in the band room
aries: [oboe player stares at chipped reed, looking brokenhearted] it’s all ogre now
taurus: [trombone] listen. the government is trying to hide the truth from us. it’s l-m-o-p — there’s no “n” after the m in the alphabet.
gemini: [flute player playing i just had sex by the lonely island] what? at least i can say it’s true, unlike most of you fake bitches.
cancer: [percussion] i’m literally just banging the drum whenever i feel like it; i lost the sheet music a few weeks ago the director still hasn’t noticed.
leo: [bassoon] do whales have dicks? can you get pregnant if you have sex with a whale?
virgo: [trumpet, on the phone with her mom] yeah mom, i’ll be home by 8. i just want to go visit him before he leaves for florida tomorrow. [french horn, screaming from the hallway as they walk in] MRS. TAMASHI DON’T BELIEVE HER SHE JUST WANTS TO GET FUCKED BY HIM ONE LAST TIME BEFORE HE LEAVES
libra: [saxophone] is my sax sexy enough to be in the victoria’s secret fashion show?
scorpio: [tuba, asking an euphonium] how do i come out to my mom as straight? she thinks i’m gay.
sagittarius: [percussionist loudly plays all star by smash mouth on the bells]
capricorn: [director] you know, this would be a lot easier if all of you were lumberjacks.
aquarius: [clarinet, talking to another clarinet] your reed smells good. can i lick it?
pisces: [flute] i’m going to deep throat my head joint
#mood ♌️