re / birth .

to reject starvation, cultivate hollowness: make room for your hunger.

[kijoku]

axel kingdomhearts...... 😳

[kijoku]

hey ax, pull my finger // from demyx

   ‘‘   i  swear  to  kindom  hears  i’ll  break  it  if  you  do  anythin’  funny.   ’’ 

   ok.  he  pulls  it.

[kijoku]

ok but . squenix DID take lea for a fucking clown and made him the comedy relief on kh3 which im still salty about but thats a rant for another day hehe

[kijoku]

MADDY SENT ME THIS AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO FEEL

[kijoku]

Hugs lea

      »   @blackasteriia.

   𝐲𝐨𝐮  𝐬𝐞𝐞  𝐢𝐭  𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞.  how  bewildered  he  is  of  himself  for  not  being  used  to  this  already:  her.  not  makeshift  imagery  or  data.  she’s  not  anyone  else.  that  grounds  him  from  going  stray  of  the  new  self,  of  tempting  his  relationship  to  dark  and  light  into  bleeding  into  each  other———  but  that’s  tiring.  that,  and  imagining  returns.

   so  he  only  flattens  his  palm  against  her  hair,   ‘‘   hey,  c’mon.  i  wasn’t  gone  for  that  long.   ’’   as  if  touch  has  ever  been  the  only  reliable  suggestion  of  reality.

[dead-kun]

[jess-woods-deactivated20160802]

[kijoku]

i log on, i see the ask reply kafka rbed, i log off

[kijoku]

YOURE SO UGLY AND I LOVE YOU FOR IT

[kijoku]

“ having someone who remembers you ... from before you were a nobody —- what is that like ? ” she never asked questions, not like these, not to axel. yet, today ... today she feels too tired for the bite and tear nature she holds ; too tired to growl, too tired to howl. “ i’ve seen him before, the one with the odd scar on his face . ” the skies are darker today. the clouds hide the stars from her eyes. “ what does it feel like ? having someone who remembers ? ”

      »   @exaltnox.

   ‘‘   lonelier  than  you  think.   ’’

   𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬  𝐢𝐬  𝐭𝐡𝐞  𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭  𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞  𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠  𝐠𝐨𝐞𝐬  𝐭𝐨  𝐫𝐮𝐢𝐧.  as  the  living  example  of  the  specific  circumstance  she  means,  he  could  tell  her  about  surrender,  and  how  it  would’ve  done  wonders  for  him.  wonders  for  the  answer  he  would’ve  given  her.  axel,  however,  has  compromised.  keeps   his  eyes  open,  leaves  the  void  hungry  for  when  the  time  is  ripe.  doesn’t  look  at  naois  in  the  eye  when  she’s  given  this  much  to  think.  it’s  lousy  to  pretend  he’s  not  tightening  his  jaw  or  curdling  his  blood.

   enter:  the  one  with  the  odd  scar.  the  one  that  remembers.

   axel  supposes  he  is  what  he  covers  up,  but  so  is  she.  and  he  could  go  without  telling  her  a  thing  about  the  one  with  the  odd  scar:  their  animosity  comes  down  to  so  much  it  means  little.  there’s  shame  in  admitting  that,  and  shame  means  he’s  guilty———  𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨  𝘢𝘥𝘥𝘴  𝘶𝘱  𝘵𝘰  𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘮  𝘩𝘪𝘮  𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯.  he  thought  dying  would’ve  meant  to  not  be  in  proximity  of  want,  but  now,  sitting  here,  talking toher,  it  strikes  him  he’ll  never  be  over  himself.  axel  doesn’t  resent  her  for  bringing  it  up.

   ‘‘   feels  like  they  won’t  let  you  get  rid  of  something  that  doesn’t  belong  to  you  anymore.   ’’

   there  must  be  something  so  liberating  in  not  remembering,  and  he  envies  her  for  it.

   his  past  is  no  longer  his  if  he  doesn’t  feel  like  it.  not  because  he  wants  to  feel  like  that.  it  just  doesn’t  belong.  there’s  no  old  him.  there’s  just  him,  the  same  him,  the  entire  time.  there’s  no  way  of  knowing  she  can  relate  to  that  because  he’s  done  talking.  standing  up,  he  offers  her  a  hand.   ‘‘   let’s  go.  you’re  gonna  give  yourself  a  headache.   ’’

[kijoku]

‘ you keep singing along to that song i hate ’ riku @ axel

       »   @yumeiis +  meme  (  accepting  )  !  

   ‘‘   wow,  ok,  thanks  for  interruptin’  me.  now  i  have  to  start  over———  WHEN  YOU  WALK  AWAY,  YOU  DON’T HEAR  ME  SAY,   ’’

[phantomemes]

credit  /  feel free to change pronouns !

‘ tell me about the dream where we the pull bodies out of the lake ’ ‘ it’s more like a song on a policeman’s radio ’ ‘ tell me how all this , and love too , will ruin us ’ ‘ we’ll never get used to it ’ ‘ there are so many things i’m not allowed to tell you ’ ‘ we know where the sound is coming from ’ ‘ the world is no longer mysterious ’ ‘ it’s thinking of stabbing us to death and leaving our bodies in a dumpster ’ ‘ i like him and i want to be like him ’ ‘ someone once told me that explaining is an admission of failure ’ ‘ history repeats itself ’ ‘ i wanted to be wanted ’ ‘ frequently i was finding myself sleepless ’ ‘ i’d like my money’s worth ’ ‘ we can’t punch ourselves awake ’ ‘ sorry about the blood in your mouth ’ ‘ you wanted happiness , i can’t blame you for that ’ ‘ a mouth sounds idiotic when it blathers on about joy ’ ‘ tell me you’re not miserable ’ ‘ imagine being useless ’ ‘ there is no way to make this story interesting ’ ‘ i want to tell you this story without having to confess anything ’ ‘ he told me it wasn’t going to be okay ’ ‘ the minutes don’t stop ’ ‘ every morning another chapter ’ ‘ i wanted to give you something more ’ ‘ i’m sorry i came to your party and seduced you ’ ‘ you want a better story ’ ‘ i can already tell you think i’m the dragon ’ ‘ you still get to be the hero ’ ‘ i take the parts that i remember and stitch them back together ’ ‘ here is the part where everyone was happy all the time and we were all forgiven ’ ‘ the entire history of human desire takes about seventy minutes to tell ’ ‘ unfortunately we don’t have that kind of time ’ ‘ it isn’t over yet , it’s just begun ’ ‘ things happen every minute that have nothing to do with us ’ ‘ i wanted to fall down right there but i knew you wouldn’t catch me ’ ‘ you are a fever i am learning to live with ’ ‘ everything is happening at the wrong end of a very long tunnel ’ ‘ i just don’t want to die anymore ’ ‘ you want to die for love , you always have ’ ‘ let’s not talk about it , let’s just not talk ’ ‘ you say  ‘ i’ll give you anything ’  but you never come through ’ ‘ i’m hungry and hollow and just want something to call my own ’ ‘ anything past the horizon is invisible , it can only be imagined ’ ‘ you keep singing along to that song i hate ’ ‘ this is the place where everything starts to begin ’ ‘ monsters are always hungry ’ ‘ none of us are going back ’ 

[prismarain]

[kijoku]

clown recognizes clown

[omnires-deactivated20190707]

“ the  ultimate  cloud  &  kairi  dynamic,    ft.  @kijoku​ “    oil  on  canvas,  2019.  

[kijoku]

orasx‌.

                    ‘  hey, axel, remember?  ’   he’s smiling, holding out his ice cream as the look in his eyes were rather … nostalgic.   ‘  the icing on the cake.  ’  /  @kijoku

   ‘‘   you’re  sharper  than  you  let  on,   ’’   is  what  he  can  manage  to  say  through  a  sighed  chuckle,  now  crestfallen  and  cutting  his  reminiscing  short.  for  his  sake,  mostly,  and  because  it  should  be  the  present  he’s  focusing  now.  because  it’s  what  matters  most,  right ?   ‘‘   it’s  ․  ․  ․  been  a  while,  hasn’t  it  ?  ha.  can’t  believe  we  made  it  this  far.  honest.    ’’

[kijoku]

islelight‌.

      ❛    SO ?  —  what  do  you  think  of  my  lea  impression ?    ❜

   ‘‘   whoever  did  your  makeup  scammed  you.  i  ain’t  got  nothing  under  my  eyes  anymore.  other  than  that,  it’s  a  solid  zero  out  of  ten.   ’’