James Kilvington @kilvo6166 - Tumblr Blog

#28 Blame it on the Booze

When I was 13 years old I told my Mum ,and her close friend, that I would never drink alcohol.

Bold bold comment…..I know!

Let me give you a little context; I’d just witnessed one of my brothers friends being carried home from his 18th birthday party whilst barely conscious. He’d been violently sick, until there was nothing left to throw up, and I decided I didn’t want to ever experience that.

Five years after that, I was the 18 year old drinking heavily every weekend and it’s never really slowed down.

Looking back at my time in New Zealand, I genuinely think there was more drunken days than there was sober ones. Don’t get me wrong, it was all very entertaining, and I’ve got stories to rival the bible (mine are true though).

What I’m trying to say is, it’s exhausting; the hangovers, the memory loss, the fear of work on Monday morning when you wake up Sunday morning fully clothed on your mates sofa.

A few Sundays ago I can vividly remember looking in the mirror and mouthing to myself, “COULD DO BETTER”. I looked horrific, smelt terrible, and had no motivation to get out of bed and make the most of the weekend.

Now I’m not going to come out and say “I’m going tee-total” because I don’t think that’s realistic. In some capacity, I think I’ll always have a relationship with alcohol as I enjoy the social part of it too much. However, I will be having a steady January and trying to make some mild changes.

I think about how productive and positive I can be on a good day in comparison to how I am on a Monday morning, after a heavy weekend. It’s irresponsible and it’s reckless. At the moment I can get away with it as I don’t have all that many responsibilities. But, it’s not attractive and it doesn’t attract the right kind of people.

I’m sure I’ve said this before but the best way of meeting good people is by being a good person yourself. As of right now, I know I’m not being the best version of myself but at least I’m conscious of the changes that need to be made.

“Could do better……WILL DO BETTER!”

#27 He’s got the ‘Vid’

Why didn’t the pizza taste of anything?

Why couldn’t I smell it?

24 hours later, a positive test answered these questions.

It’s a pretty strange sensation, to not be able to taste anything, when you’ve spent the last 28 years putting things in your mouth and enjoying the flavour. It also makes meal times pretty boring and tedious.

Despite my lack of taste or smell, I feel pretty healthy and I am grateful that the sun is out and I can make a corner of the garden my own. I am particularly lucky that I can still work as I know some people don’t have that available to them when they have to isolate.

“Where do you think you got it?” is a question that has kept popping up. Every time I hear that I struggle to contain a wry smile. This is only a theory (a romantic one at that) but I would like to think I caught the dreaded ‘vid’ the moment Luke Shaw smashed in England’s opener in the Euros final. Perhaps the virus was passed on to me via an over eager England fan, planting a smacker on my lips, in a dive bar in glamorous Doncaster?

Whatever the case, I’m going to use these 10 days as a platform to become a bit healthier and fitter……as standards had certainly been slipping for some time! Plus, there’s a football season round the corner and manipulating the sphere is much easier when you’ve got a fresh pair of legs under you.

I’ll be seeing you ;)

#26 Book Me In

Today I wrote.

I’m not sure if it was any good but, nonetheless, I picked up a pen and scribbled something down.

Years ago I started writing a book (see blog #14) and for a long time those pages sat stagnant on a word document on a redundant laptop of mine. But, for reasons unbeknown to me, I decided to add to those raw pages and continue the story.

There is something exciting about seeing the words go down and then re-reading them and thinking, “I wrote that and it’s good!” Now I’m not naive enough to believe everything I write is good. I’m almost certain that 90% is dribble. But, it’s that 10% that keeps me writing and believing I’m capable of writing something substantial.

Inspiration is fleeting, which is why I treasure it when I feel it. Pen and paper is all I need and there is something satisfying in that simplicity.

I’ve started sending some of my close friends the first few pages of my book. Feedback has been slow, but I think that’s because most of my friends were unhappy the document didn’t contain any illustrations. Having said that, the few comments I have had have all been relatively positive and that gives me a glimmer of hope.

Don’t all shout at once, but if anyone is interested in reading what I have (or needs help falling asleep at night) let me know and I will more than happily send a copy your way.

In an ideal world I would quit my job, rent a house on the beach, and dedicate my time to finishing this book. However, this pipe dream isn’t sustainable with my current circumstances. For now, I will write whenever the pen seems to find its way into my palm.

To be continued.

#25 2020

With the year dwindling down, I thought it best to force out another scribble before midnight.

Sure, 2020 ruined a few of my plans. It meant I didn’t get to attend the weddings of some of my nearest and dearest. It also forced me into gainful employment, when my initial plan was to keep travelling on my Peter Pan voyage.

Despite these minor setbacks, I am grateful that during a pandemic I have had a wonderful support ‘bubble’, of family and friends, who have made the experience seem tolerable. It seems a pretty rough time for most and I count myself lucky that I haven’t been affected by the virus as severely as others around me.

If this year has taught me anything, it is that happiness is key. A year ago I was in New Zealand, living what seemed like a picture perfect life, but I wasn’t happy. I realise that in the grand scheme of things I am fortunate, and I like to think I’m a positive sod the majority of the time. However, if you’re not happy it is important to identify why not.

I’m thankful that I have a track record of making rash/naive/stupid/brave decisions that have ultimately lifted me out of a metaphorical hole. Your happiness has to take precedence and if that means making a big decision relationship wise or career wise then so be it. DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

Now I know this hardly seems like I’m solving world hunger but it’s solid advice. There are a lot of people using COVID as an excuse to be unhappy, but as a wise man once said, “If you give someone or something control over your happiness you’re doomed!”

(The actual quote used the word Fucked instead of Doomed but my old dear reads this so I’m keeping it PG.......Happy New Year, Folks!)

#24 Working From Home

In my head it sounded great. Wake up half an hour later than usual. Working from the comfort of my own bedroom. Saving money on fuel. Lounging around all day in my pj’s and slippers. However, in reality, I’m not a fan.

I’m sure some introverted folk are quite happy to work from home. But, for a Peacock like myself, I need to shake my feathers and feel a part of a work force.

At one point last week, I didn’t leave the house for three straight days. Why? Because I didn’t have to. I even had to remind myself to brush my teeth as I hadn’t perfected a morning routine yet.

Working from home doesn’t feel like work to me. There are too many distractions, and home luxuries, that are easily accessible.

Rather surprisingly, I miss my colleagues (I can’t be certain the feelings mutual). I took for granted the office banter and the brew-time gossip. Yes, I am grateful to have a job during this peculiar episode, however, I can’t wait until the office is back to full capacity.

There are colleagues who have become strangers to me. Because of social distancing measures, I haven’t seen certain people in months. A phone call here and there is hardly solid grounds to build a relationship on.

Worryingly, I can’t see work spaces going back to any sort of normality anytime soon. Hands.....Face......Space - and all that malarkey. Worst still, I can’t see a Christmas party happening either.....and everyone needs a sleazy Christmas Do to look forward to......don’t they?

#23 HandHeld Addiction

What’s the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning - check your phone, or go to the toilet? Apparently, there is only two options.

If you haven’t watched The Social Dilemma, on Netflix, I suggest you should. In a nutshell, the documentary sheds light on the manipulation by major social media platforms, and ultimately how it all results in us spending more time on our phones.

I was horrified when I checked my average screen time on my phone (I won’t divulge the actual figure). There is a definite correlation between my screen time being high when I’m working from home, in contrast to when I’m in the office. Recently, I have actually enjoyed going into the office for the simple interaction with my colleagues. Working from home has its advantages, but it can become isolating and the metaphorical walls can gradually move in on you.

Having watched the documentary, I’ve made a conscious effort to reduce the time I’ve been spending on my phone. I’ve deleted apps which I felt were taking up most of my time (Tinder, Bumble, Grinder.....the latter was a joke!). Also, I have reignited my interest in reading and my lunch time is spent with my nose in a book instead of aimlessly scrolling through social media.

Another tactic I’ve been trying is putting my phone on flight mode an hour before I go to sleep. ‘Switching off’ mentally is hard enough for me as I have a constant carnival going off in my head. I certainly don’t need the added stimulus of five group messages and numerous bikini models!

Social Media companies are constantly thinking of new ways of keeping our phones in our hand. We need to take accountability for our screen time, which may seem easier said than done with another lockdown on the horizon.

I have half a mind to resort back to an old style Nokia 3210; the simplicity of just calls and texts, without the obvious implications of social media apps. Having said that, this leaves me vulnerable to the inevitability of becoming addicted to the game snake......swings and roundabouts.

In conclusion, I thought The Social Dilemma was a good wake up call but it didn’t offer any valid solutions. My fear is that my kids, and their kids, will be even more dependant on technology and social media, and I can’t see how anyone’s screen time will be reduced anytime soon.

#22 Super Saturday

Saturday has to be the only morning I wake up without a subconscious thought of work lurking in the back of my brain.

Selfishly, my only concern is making the most of the day - what can I do with those twelve hours or so that will make me happy.

Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it) I don’t have any responsibilities to worry about, over the weekend. No girlfriend or kids to entertain, and no house or garden to tend to. So recently a friend and I have been doing, on a Saturday, the one thing we enjoy doing the most......watching Football.

*I can imagine I’ve lost the female reader with this last sentence, but so be it!*

For the foreseeable, armed with a basic knowledge of local football teams, we plan on venturing to a new ground each Saturday. Another aim is to sample a beer at each ground, because......why not?

It may not seem like the most mind blowing way of a spending a Saturday, but it is what gives me pleasure and happiness. I love everything about local football; The old man taking your money at the door. The old woman selling you raffle tickets. The village idiot abusing the referee. And finally, the players who for 90minutes are potential cult heroes in the making.

In these few hours, time is irrelevant and my only aim is to soak up as much local culture as possible. It seems like the only day of the week where I’m not looking at my watch and feeling in some way pressured by the inevitability of time.

If anyone has any suggestions on where we should go next, leave a comment and don’t forget to recommend my blog to everyone and anyone!

#21 Patience

Returning to full time employment, having travelled for 16 months, has its obvious hiccups. The scariest thing about the whole situation is that it feels like I’ve never been away.

I’ve returned to the same job, which given the current climate is something I should be grateful for. They reached out to me when I was just starting to panic about getting a job.

The advantages are I have a good understanding of the role and I’m familiar with the majority of the personnel. The disadvantages are that being in an office reminds me of why I wanted to go travelling in the first place!

However, Rome wasn’t built in a day. I have been reminding myself lately to be patient. My expectations of myself are often too high and unrealistic - perhaps I am a dreamer by design?

My ego tells me I should be CEO when in reality I’ve been in the job 3 weeks! I have so much to learn and that all takes time and commitment. What I should be concentrating on now is building a career in a company who have shown loyalty to me. If I’m willing to do the time then everything else will fall into place.....I think.

SMART Goals;

Specific

Measurable

Attainable

Relevant

Time-based

Piece of cake right?

#20 Plugging Podcasts

During lockdown a large percentage of my day has been occupied by listening to podcasts. I like the honest and informal format, plus it is something that doesn’t require your full attention.

It seems that anybody who is anybody has a podcast. Naturally, money talks in ‘Podcastville’ and most celebrities are simply moving with the times by leaning in. However, it’s not always the most famous people that go on to have successful podcasts.

Joe Rogan, a comedian and UFC commentator by trade, is considered one of the founding fathers of podcasting, and he has recently been rewarded with a $100million deal with Spotify. His podcast, The Joe Rogan Experience, boasts 190 million downloads a month so he has certainly earned his coin. He often preaches that, the beauty of having your own podcast is, you can say what you like as you are effectively your own boss. There is no hidden/political agenda, only that of your own progression. There are no major corporations to answer to or censorship issues.

Rogan, in a recent interview, quotes, “Podcasting is all freeballing. It’s the opposite of polished. And because of that, it resonates”. One of the reasons his podcast is so successful, is the simplicity of it all. Stripped down to its core, it’s a funny guy having a drink/smoke with his friends, whilst the rest of the world listens in. Another advantage of having your own podcast is, you can invite guests that you genuinely like. You don’t have to worry about interviewing someone that the network has booked in, and it helps eliminate any stale/forced content.

Now, all I need to do is find my own niche in the industry. Once I have become relatively famous for being me I can create my own podcast legacy. It seems like Viagra and hair loss companies will sponsor almost anyone so the foundations are already in place.

*Just imagine*

“It’s the James Kilvington Podcast! Blogger by day – Podcaster by night”.

You’d like and subscribe, wouldn’t you?

#19 Wedding Season On Hold

Right now I should be in Phoenix, Arizona, helping my good friend Ed Callaghan with his annual Summer Soccer Camp (it’s FOOTBALL, I know). My grand plan was to incorporate the summer camps with attending two weddings of former teammates of mine.

First stop would have been Oklahoma City, to celebrate Fergy and Brooklyn. Fergy was one of my first roommates at university and we were fortunate enough to meet up last year in Queenstown, NZ. That weekend made me realise how loved-up he is, with his bride to be, and I can’t wait to see them tie the knot next year.

Next stop would have been to Cancun, Mexico, to celebrate Butler and Sharae. I lived with these two during my last year of university and we somehow managed to raise a boxer puppy, in a small two bedroom apartment. My parents have fond memories of Sharae as she was our personal driver during their visit for my graduation. Butler and Sharae have now added another dog to their family which suggests to me they’re getting in some parent practise before marriage ;)

This delay in wedding season gives me a good chance to find my own plus one (wishful thinking perhaps?). So if anyone fancies a trip next summer to the US and Mexico, feel free to send me your CV/Resume, and I will be hosting Zoom interviews to help narrow it down to one lucky candidate.

For more information on the role advertised above, please contact me;

Email: [email protected]

Twitter/Instagram: Kilvo6166

Phone: 077-dream-on-dreamer

#18 Queenstown or Neverland?

Pictures don’t always tell the true story. Behind the smiles and the idyllic locations is, of course, the reality.

One of the positives of being in lockdown, is the sheer amount of friends I have reached out to, or been contacted by. I have friends in different corners of the world, and it is interesting to see how those countries have been affected by the coronavirus.

Some of my friends have asked, “Are you still in New Zealand, looks like you’re living the dream?” This is where social media is deceiving. Naturally, people will only show you what they want you to see. Marathon runners don’t post pictures of their blistered feet or rubbed against nipples (although they definitely should). You only see them at the finish line with their participation medal and a glass of bubbles.

Now I don’t want this to sound like a rant, so I will remind myself of the good times I had in Queenstown, NZ;

The summer months were spent drinking and being merry down at the lake, and the winters were spent skiing and exploring the mountains. Being the self-proclaimed adventure capital of the world meant there was always something to do on your days off.

All of the above seemed great for the first ten months or so but, as is the case with most things in life; the novelty does begin to wear thin. My reality was I was drinking at least five times a week, then waking up hungover for a job I didn’t particularly enjoy. For me it wasn’t sustainable, and I needed a change.

In my opinion (and this may come across as harsh) Queenstown is a safe haven for people who are trying to avoid reality and responsibilities. Looking around the clubs and the bars I saw a lot of soulless and exhausted people who seemed trapped. By trapped I mean that they had become comfortable at making enough money to get drunk, but do very little else.

A wise man once wrote, “Comfort; the enemy of progress”.

#17 Letter To My Younger Self

Dear 14 Year Old James,

Don’t worry, everything grows eventually! You will be taller than your brother and father, and hairs will appear under your armpits and near your middle bits.

Kissing your pillow won’t make you any better at the real thing, but practise makes perfect so don’t be afraid to experiment.

When your football coaches tell you that you’re not good enough, realise that it’s for the best, and don’t waste any time falling out of love with the game you love.

Stop being the class clown! It is not big or clever and this will be reflected in your exam results.

Say ‘Yes’ to more things and don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone.

Make friends with girls; they’ll teach you how to treat the right one when she comes along.

Keep reading and writing as this skill/hobby may prove valuable later in life.

Maintain your confidence, and sense of fun and adventure, but make sure you are considerate of others and less selfish. You are likable and loved amongst your friends and family, so make an effort to continue those special relationships.

Finally, keep being stubborn, determined and adventurous as these attributes will open so many doors for you. Continue to be brave in your decision making and remember, ‘there is no such thing as embarrassment’…..well, kind of.

All the best,

27 Year Old James

#16 Christmas Poem

Christmas is coming

My patience is growing thin

Should I keep working

Or just sack it all in

I love all the people

Plus the commute ain’t bad

Do I want to grow up

Or continue being a LAD

This isn’t how I planned it

After that wonderful graduation day

When I think back to America

Why the fuck didn’t i stay

I’ve always loved to travel

A different girl in every port

I’d quite happily leave tomorrow

I’m just lacking financial support

Maybe I’m overreacting

I don’t have it all that bad

But I’m too wild and inappropriate

To be living with Mum n Dad!

#15 We Go Again

My motivation to write often stems from traveling. Putting pen to paper seems easier when you’re in a new, exciting location. I can’t imagine many best sellers have been written on a cold, miserable, Monday morning in Doncaster.

Thankfully, I’ve booked two trips that couldn’t be any more different in location, climate, culture, to name just a few of the contrasts.

First up is Dublin, at the end of November. Bring on the Guinness, blonde Irish girls with that infectious accent, and ultimately an empty bank account.

Next, two friends and I have booked the Philippines for two weeks in March. If all goes to plan, that two weeks may be extended to indefinitely and I’ll take up residence on one of the picturesque beaches.

Someone once said, “All you need is a ball and a wall” and I used to believe in that. Now, I’m more a believer of, “All you need is a holiday and a compadre!”

Cheers ✈️🏝🌎🍺🇮🇪☘️

#traveling #blogger #dublin #phillipines #writer

#14 The Rest is Still Unwritten

So ironically in this blog I'm going to talk about writing. Over the last few months I've been attempting to write a book. I can already hear the laughter of some people who probably don't think I have it in me. However, I've really enjoyed the process so far and it is by far the most substantial work I've ever done writing wise. Currently I have about 40 pages (very rough draft) and it's a slow yet rewarding process. A couple of my work colleagues have read over the first chapter and they have reassured me that it isn't terrible. I can't imagine I'll be winning any book awards anytime soon but for now I'm just enjoying the challenge.

#writers #writing #books

#13 Nothing Bad in Carlsbad

Up until now I thought Denver, Colorado, was the best place on earth. But, over the course of this weekend, I've fallen madly in love with Carlsbad, California. Bikini clad surfer girls, a beautiful beach, vibrant restaurants, spirited drinking holes, and an all round good atmosphere. My good mood quickly turned to depression when I realized I would be back in Okc on Wednesday. I've had a brilliant summer and I've been fortunate enough to travel to some truly fantastic places. I've lost count of the amount of times I've asked locals to adopt me, and unfortunately nobody seemed too keen to take in a bum like me :( California has set the bar extremely high and I will most definitely be returning whenever the ocean calls my name again. Back to reality on Wednesday.....

#12 Out of a Suitcase

Traveling? I love everything about it! The cheap hotels, the complimentary shampoo, the crappy coffee, the ill mannered receptionists, the road trips, the numb bums, the average book, seeing new places, seeing different faces. I love experiencing new cultures, new cities, vibrant night life, and quiet sleepy towns. A well read quote states, "If traveling was free you'd never see me again." I could happily live out of a suitcase for long stretchers of time and never settle down. All I need is a good companion or two and intelligent (and sometimes silly) conversation. Here's to seeing the sun set in a different place tomorrow...

#traveler #traveling

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