"What a hippie..."

The mind-dump of Kimmy.

[kimbizarre]

Spiritual Personalities: Making Denomonations Personal

***This may seemingly contradict some of my previous posts, but maybe not. Life is a learning experience. I don't have all the answers, but I have a couple. ;)

Recently, I was struggling with the idea of division in the Body of Christ imposed by denomonations. Frutrated, I would observe the way Christians fought each other and distinguished themselves apart by denomonational titles.

Christian= Pentecostal, Lutheran, Catholic, Methodist, Baptist, etc., etc., etc. At the very core, we can all agree on one thing: Christ, as an equal part of the three-in-one Godhead, came to earth as a man, capable of sin, who died and conquered the grave by rising again so that we can be free from sin and live eternally.

Since we all agree on that one crucial point, why do we need to have denomonations?

I can't say for sure, but I've concluded that just as we all have different spiritual gifts, we also have different spiritual personalities.

For those who are extremely conservative, a more conservative branch suits them well, and for those who are more charismatic, a charismatic branch suits them well. Only God knows who is more "correct," so who are we to cast judgement on doctrine we don't agree with? Do we not all have the Spirit? Is not the Body one with many parts; eyes, ears, fingers, tonails, and so on? I guess that's where "Body" must be defined.

A pastor once challanged me with the question, "How many churches are there in this town?" I thought about it for a minute and responded, "Probably around 20." He smiled, "There's only one."

The Body is the church, the church is the collective group of believers. Last I checked, all Christ-acknowledging believers, no matter which denomonation, ARE the church. We are one: the Body.

The denomonations are the different parts of the body. We can't all be eyes because we can't all reach the same people--and that's okay! Ears are just as necessary!

The problem is not DENOMONATIONS, the  problem is DIVISION. We must recognize that God is using each denomonation differently, making it wrong to look down on each other.

Your spiritual personality may not be mine, so go to a denomonation that suits your type. Reach the people only you can reach. But condeming anyone for not agreeing with your doctrine is useless and a waste of time you could have spent reaching  the lost rather than fighting your brothers and sisters.

I believe it was a character in the Screwtape Letters who said something along the lines of (and forgive my general paraphrasing), "Turn them against each other and they'll forget about their real purpose" (referring to the church).

Let's be productive in love. Let's reach the lost and broken together in our own ways, empowered by love.

[kimbizarre]

Wisdom, The Understanding That Comes From God.

I don't know if it's a spiritual gift or just part of my personality, but for some reason, I often find myself having deep, very personal conversations with adults much older than myself who open up to me. It's weird, I know. I love it.

I've come to understand that wisdom is not of human origin, it is from God. 

The closer we grow to Him, the wiser we become. As these adults share their stories, I share what I understand (if anything) and what the Bible says (if I know).

Adults are just grown up humans with experience-- Kids are just young humans with less experience... often much less. But both are given the Holy Spirit to discern scripture, if they choose, and through scripture are given the opportunity to gain wisdom by knowledge and understanding.

Most of my frustration with my parents comes from their tendancy to discredit what I say because of lack of experience. With contempt I often hear, "We are older, therefore, wiser." This could be true if the time was spent in gaining understanding and not just absorbing experience through naturally moving forward in time. Time itself accomplishes nothing. The act of aging is not difficult to accomplish. Age does not automatically equal wisdom, it only gives experience.

God-given wisdom without experience is discredited by arrogant people. Experience means nothing if there is no application of knowledge. Wisdom is applied knowledge, but knkowledge isn't necessarily found through experience...

"I, wisdom, dwell together with prudence; I possess knowledge and dicretion. To  fear the Lord is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech." Proverbs 8:12-13

[kimbizarre]

Conservative Christianity vs. Charismatics

As a charismatic Christian going to a very conservative Lutheran college, my ears perk up when I hear students or professors discussing Charismatics.

I become frustrated as the conversation often moves from validity to mentioning snakes, dancing, and flashy lights. It seems that too often, the Conservatives mock the Charismatics.

I’ve heard comments such as, “Young people only choose these churches because they like the atmosphere.” I agree that is true, but what they don’t realize is that the major difference between conservative and charismatic churches is the emphases on the Holy Spirit. I believe that’s why MOST young people choose a charismatic church. They see the passion of the people around them, become curious, and want to know why these people are crying at the very mention of Jesus' name. They want to know if the people receiving healing are really being healed or if it’s all a hoax. They want to know how it’s possible that someone walked up to them and told them something that only God knows. —That’s the “atmosphere” they seek.

But from the outside, all people see is the stereotype of snakes, dancing and flashy lights (and as a side-note, I’ve been to a few charismatic churches and have yet to see snakes. lol)

Some time last semester, one of my favorite professors used Joel Osteen as a prime example of charismatic Christianity. I know Joel Osteen is full of CHARISMA, that doesn’t make his doctrine CHARISMATIC. There’s a huge difference. 

But, I can’t say that Charismatics like myself are not without fault either. Too often, charismatic Christians will mock conservative Christians for being so full of starch. We wonder how they can possibly ignore the presence of the Holy Spirit, forgetting that many of them are just as committed to loving others and sharing Christ, just in a different way.

All I can say is this, Christ didn’t come to this earth to set up denominations so we can all fight each other about whether or not we should use flashy lights or baptize babies. 

Christians, we are to reach out and touch the world with Christ’s love, not sit and shake our fists at each other because we disagree on minor things. 

[kimbizarre]

ADHD and an Empty Room

Maybe this isn't the most appropriate place for this blog post, as it's not anything like my most recent entries. But since I accidentally left my journal at home, you--oh, lucky reader--get to experience another aspect of my mind-dump. At the moment, I feel very alone. I'm studying in Sigma Square, a community room full of couches and tables. Just a few minutes ago, I was wishing that the musicians in the practice room and the people hanging out would just leave so I could study here alone-- just me and the white board. With all the noise from other people, I get distracted and can't focus... but without noise, I am distracted by my own thoughts and can't focus. Sometimes I wonder if I should give in and get medicated. Then I remember that I never take the easy way out. So, instead I'm drinking a pot of coffee, spiced with a couple "Good Earth" tea bags. The caffeine helps a little, but not enough. When the room is empty, it feels colder. I'm sure it hasn't changed temperature, I'm just paying more attention to the fact that it's cold. I need to redirect my focus. Without people around, I'm forced to focus on what I'm doing, and I hate that. I've found that I learn best when I'm teaching others. I don't know why. I don't know why this "study music" playlist on Spotify is making me feel worse. It reminds me of What Dreams May Come, which reminds me of Robin Williams, which reminds me that he was an ENFP personality just like me, which, for some reason, makes me feel worse about the fact that he's dead.  And I swear if another Walmart commercial comes on, I'm going to find something less depressing to listen to.  It's probably a good thing I hate Walmart and their stupid "low-price" commercials so much. I can't stand them or McDonald's-- both are disgusting, sloppy, and sick. Yet, both are the epitome of the American Dream; to be disgusting, sloppy, and sick. I hate being alone in a room, but I love the cold. I want it to rain already. I want to go for a walk in the rain.

I want to live beyond the labels I have worn. I'm tired of people telling me who Kimmy is. I know who Kimmy is. I'm Kimmy. Or maybe I'm just tired. I don't know. It's time to brew another pot of coffee and grab a sweater...

[kimbizarre]

Asking Without Wanting///Welcoming the Carpenter

I love worship music in the church. I especially love attending a charismatic worship service. While singing or dancing, swaying, lifting your hands, or worshiping how ever you do, it's easy to get pulled in to the powerful lyrics. But have you ever stopped and REALLY thought about what you were saying? Some songs are a declaration of God's goodness and love, others are essentially prayers--crying out to the Father. But what do they really mean? I chose a few examples from songs that really speak to me. I want you to think about what it means as you read each line: 1. "For the sake of the world, burn like a fire in me. Light a flame in my soul for every eye to see..." 2. "Spirit rain down, break my walls down..." 3. "Spirit lead me where my trust is without boarders, let me walk upon the water WHERE EVER you would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander..." 4. "Pull me a little closer, take me a little deeper, I wanna know your heart..." 5. "Break my heart for what breaks yours, EVERYTHING I am for your kingdom's cause..." Did you realize how heavy these are? This is my prayer interpretation: 1. Use me to bring others to you. Make me selfless. Make me spiritually bold (enough to disregard fear). Set me a part from the world. --How does this happen? Is selflessness or boldness something that God gives you just because you asked for it? Maybe. But often, he instead gives you the opportunities to be selfless or spiritually bold and you get to make the the choice; will you follow through and receive what God is giving you (what you asked for), or will you disregard your prayer? Maybe you are prompted to pray for a clerk at the grocery store; disregard your fear, go for it, and let Him "burn like a fire in you," "for the sake of the world." 2. Holy Spirit, be present in all aspects of my life. Tear apart my flesh and sin nature so that I can be closer to you. --You know how you cut yourself, or sometimes smoke pot with people you barely know, but hide it so your church friends don't find out because you're broken in some way? God knows. He wants you healed, but you're holding it. Or maybe you think super negative thoughts, or watch porn, or do something that is spiritually holding you back. God knows. He wants you healed. By asking Him to "break (your) walls down," you're letting Him in to places you don't even let your closest friends. It hurts, but healing is worth it. Are you willing to receive that healing? 3. (This one's my favorite) GOD, take me to a place of uncertainty where I have to have faith in you because everything else is a dead end. Make me needy (for more of you). Give me courage to do what seemed impossible. Even when everyone around me calls me a fool, take me places I never imagined I would go. Make me bold. --This is HARD. Why on earth would anyone WANT to be needy, without certainty, maybe not knowing what you'd eat, where you'd be tomorrow, or how the bills will be paid? These are just a few examples of having faith. If you're asking for this, let me tell you, it sucks--but it is the most beautiful kind of sucking. Part of you will hate not knowing (flesh), the other part will be so empowered with hope (spirit). It hurts, but it's a good hurt, and it's worth it. 4. Help me give up what I don't need so that I can make you my priority. --Seeking the heart of the Father first. Think about that. Are you ready to give up what you know and be spiritually mind-blown? 5. (This one's probably the heaviest) Make me totally vulnerable spiritually and empathetic toward everyone I meet, having compassion always. My first desire is to be your servant. --A pastor once told me that pastors are statistically less healthy than most people because they spend so much time caring for others that they forget to take care of themselves. Why? Their hearts break for the broken. No one wants to be heartbroken, but we all seem to want to be spiritually heartbroken... until it actually happens. Until we actually have to be a loving servant... I believe a broken heart is the core of servant-hood. So, when we're worshiping, do we really pay attention to what we're saying?  Don't be surprised if God answers your prayers-- It will most likely hurt, and you'll probably hate it at the time. He's the carpenter, chiseling you--a jagged block of wood--into a beautiful sculpture. Although the carving and sanding hurts, it only makes you more beautiful.

[kimbizarre]

Where Did All The Playgrounds Go?

As a young kid growing up in the late 90's, I saw the remnants of the most enjoyable playgrounds. I remember jungle gyms and swing-sets, merry-go-rounds and huge slides, teeter-totters and monkey bars. Sometimes I wish to find an old playground stuck in time--not with rusty, squeaky old equipment--one that remains lubed and painted.  Where'd all the playgrounds go? Parks today are plastic. Their equipment is 98% kid-friendly, approved law-suit free, and dull. No giant slide because a child can fall off and break an arm. No teeter-totter because it could cause back injury. No merry-go-round because the possibilities of injury are endless. You're lucky to even find a swing-set. Though these problems are all corrected through removal, someone will always find a creative way to be upset. I guess at some point in time parents stop teaching their kids responsibility and how to be careful. At some point, they began to discard all personal accountability and blamed the equipment rather than their careless child (or child's accident). Now, lawsuits have caused communities to do away with the playgrounds of the past and move forward to equipment even the youngest children find boring and uninteresting. The climax of fun in the new equipment is generally running up a 4 foot slide, or standing under a shady tarp. Sounds like a blast. I read an article titled "Parents Outraged by Burning Hot Playgrounds in NYC" where a mother complained that the Parks Department should remove materials that severely burn children after her son's feet were burned. Hey lady, how about you put shoes on your kid? That super hot padding which burns children and scrapes up their knees when they fall was put there to replace sand--which was apparently so much more dangerous. There were signs stating that the super safe ground got super hot. I just don't understand people. It's the people like her who want change that make problems worse. If it wasn't the heat, it would be the slipperiness when wet, and so on... Then there's the national complaint of childhood obesity. HELLO, would YOU want to play on that equipment? I don't think so. Let's put our feet in the shoes of children for a moment and consider what is actually fun, because if they show up at a park and find that their TV and video games are more entertaining, OF COURSE they won't go back to the park! The problem starts with bad parenting, moves to untrained children, lawsuits, and communities saving money by less upkeep on plastic toys, and less injuries on boring equipment.  You want the next generation to be healthier? Start with the parks and you'll eliminate half the problem. 

^That's a shame.

[kimbizarre]

Nylon Tights

Sunday mornings, circa 1998-2002 ___________________________ Sunday morning would come with all the splendor of cartoons and cereal, hours of play time and no school. Never would I ruin those moments with the thought of returning to class the next day.  After my breakfast and hour of generally obnoxious behavior, I was instructed by my mother to return to my room to get dressed. There on my bed laid three items; a dress, panties, and the most dreadful torture device crafted to torment the well-dressed Sunday youth for generations--nylon tights!  Those itchy white nylon tights stuck to my legs wherever I went, with whatever I did, and they acted as cleverly conjugated deterrents for the very obnoxious behavior I loved to be part of while outside. The consequences of doing anything regarding dirt and play involved ripped, stained, or otherwise destroyed and fraying tights, leading to an unhappy mother. (Children know that an unhappy mother puts them at the disadvantage in all circumstances.) I, being a foolish child, chose instead to live in the moment and take advantage of the swing-set while it was available, having no regard for the unpleasant, atrocious, most awful white tights my mother so loved to dress me in. It was as though somehow in my mind I thought, "If I could just destroy every pair, I will no longer have to wear them. Or maybe mom will eventually give up and stop buying them!" My attempts at liberation proved hopeless. While sitting in church, my short attention-span would often lead me to stare at all the little hairs that stuck out of my nylon tights. I would count them, stroke them, and sometimes try to uproot them with my bitten-off fingernails.  This needless discomfort and affliction lasted for years until the glorious age of 8 when I decided on my own that I was capable of choosing my own outfit. Although I didn't have many options to choose from except for the usual attire, I was given the option of choosing what not to wear. The first pieces of my wardrobe to face abandonment were the devices of misery I disdained--the bane known as my nylon tights.

[kimbizarre]

Not to brag.... but this is one pretty fantastic playlist. I've spent almost a year creating it. Just put it on shuffle and enjoy 8 hours of great music. :)

[kimbizarre]

Seventy X Seven I was sitting in church toward the back while plates were passed around with crackers and little cups of grape juice.  Every person took one of each and passed it right along. After the whole church congregation was taken care of, the pastor began to explain the symbolism of communion. He told the church about The blood shed for us, and The body broken for us. Then we were reminded of something--forgive others, even the ones who you REALLY don't want to forgive. No problem, there's no one I'm holding a grudge against.... right? Wrong. A few moments ago, I stumbled upon the facebook belonging to a girl I used to go to school with. This girl was mean, and I mean seriously MEAN. In junior high, she spread rumors that I was in love with a fat, bald, old teacher. She made fun of me for being so short and "undeveloped" (yeah, I was a late bloomer). She made fun of me for not liking hip-hop when everyone else did. She made fun of my teeth for being crooked and too big for my face. She made fun of me at every chance she got, tearing me down and making me feel really bad about myself. She even turned teachers against me who would make fun of me in class as well.  Yeah, it sucked. During the summer before 8th grade, she attended a Bible camp and changed very much. In front of the class, she asked me to forgive her. Seeing her sincerity, I did. This was nice and made me feel really good about 8th grade. Things got better overall, but by the end of the year, that same girl went back to bullying.  After our 8th grade graduation, I never really spoke to her again. In my heart, I housed secret hatred for her. I would see her picture and anger would stir within me. How could she be so popular and liked when she was so horrible? I tried to be nice to everyone and they all hated me because of her. Right? That's how I'm supposed to feel....? No.  Upon seeing her facebook today, I realized that I was still angry with her after all these years. So I stopped. I closed my eyes. And I forgave her. I wouldn't take the mocking of a 13 year old seriously now, why should I hold it just because it happened back then? She doesn't deserve that, and I don't need to keep myself in chains. Forgive so that you will be able to love. Forgive so that you will be free. Forgive because Christ forgave you, and you certainly didn't deserve that. I encourage you, forgive. It's worth it. 

[kimbizarre]

The Garden of Your Mind.     Growing ideas. Maybe it's the creative side of me that gives me that itchy fuzzy feeling inside with a constant urge to create new things, discover other worlds, and change the course of history. Maybe it's far-fetched to think that I am capable of even leaving one pen stroke in history's book. The purpose of being made known in the course of history would not be to flatter myself (because who am I but another human?), but rather to change the world because it needs change. Even if that only means changing my community. Even if that only means changing my immediate surroundings. Even if that means only ever influencing one person. I've noticed one constant pattern in the people who made a difference in the world and are generally admired; they practiced compassion and love. It starts in your mind. You must think. You must grow ideas. Breaking out of the mold isn't easy, and it requires a lot of work, but by exercising an independent brain, you can learn empathy, have sympathy, and practice compassion.  Compassion leads to loving others, especially those who the world loves to hate. It starts in your mind with an idea.  It leads to potential for change. Love people...

[kimbizarre]

Drifting.

       Shortly after dinner and 3 cups of coffee later, I was at the library ready to spend hours of reading and studying. But first, I had to be sure that I was as comfortable as I could be, so I went down to the library's lower level and sought out the ladies' room. Choosing a stall took no time considering all was well maintained and unoccupied. 

On the wall at the back of the stall, I noticed a curious little metal door with an over-used piece of duct tape which apparently was defective or had exhausted its adhesive. Because of this, the door could not stay shut.  Using two fingers, I slowly opened the little door and peeked in. As I noticed copper pipes, most likely used for plumbing, a gentle breeze blew my hair back. Oddly enough, it had the smell of a park at night; the smell of trees and local chimney smoke, a sprinkler-wet sidewalk, and resting flower petals

I stood there imagining Narnia, then I began to picture my own fantasy world. I pictured a place where I could ride my bicycle for years and never run out of trails or get to a place that was too physically stressful to ride. I imagined willow trees with fruit sparkling after a light sprinkle from the sky. I imagined cumulus clouds with no threat of heavy rain. I imagined cold air and sand. I imagined fresh water and salt water combining side by side with waves, heavy currents, and mild streams all in the same location. There were no thorns and the soft ground felt smooth with each bare-foot step, not too cold or too warm. With one step off the ground I could fly and sit on a cloud, building an attic in the sky and a basement under the earth.  Could it be heaven? No. It was a door allowing access to the plumbing in the bathroom. But imagination took me somewhere else.... Then I got back to studying. The end. 

[kimbizarre]

I'm Thirsty...

       I think every family has at least one unhealthy habit that everyone shares. In my family, it's drinking sugary deliciousness. It's funny, we eat all the healthy food; the fruits, the veggies, home cooked meals of a variety of colors and flavors-- pretty much the suggested food pyramid-- and yet, with every meal we drink soda or juice. It's terrible, I know.

Some of the best dietitians complain that most people drink their calories, and in the case of my family, they're absolutely correct. 

It seems to me that an active lifestyle and decent food choices is better than fantastic food choices and a slower paced life. Why not enjoy what you eat? 

Hey, maybe I'm wrong, but as far as I know, my entire extended family lives this way and they're all pretty healthy.

So, crack open a Mountain Dew and hold the ice-- in fact, I'd like my glass frosted. When I'm done with that, i'll take some chocolate milk, then Kool-Aid. Later, I'll have a Coke. Thanks.

[kimbizarre]

One Flesh

              It is said that there was a time when humans were covered in soft skin which was easily broken. Their emotions were uncontrolled causing hate, greed, jealousy, and especially love. They were weak and often did not grow past the young age of eighty. In that time, the weak male humans would join with many mates and usually find a single one who was suitable enough to spend his life with. Together, they would occupy separate bodies and produce a family. It took both male and female to produce offspring. Eventually, one mate would die while the other would continue living with an ancient emotion referred to as a "broken heart." Internally, this feeling of being separated from a loved one made humans weak. It was not like it is today. Today we do not feel emotion; emotion is weakness. Today, we do not love; love blinds logic and is therefore, weakness. We choose a mate based on strength, intelligence, and ability-- that is it. Today, when two mates find each other suitable, they bond to form a strong asexual contributor. The two become one and refers to itself as "we." It then produces strong offspring to contribute to our society. Homosexual bonds no longer exist because they are not compatible to become one. When a male or female's hormones are unbalanced causing a possibility for homosexuality, they are killed at adulthood.  Infertile females are a disgrace. They are either killed at adulthood or forced to spend a life indebted to her parents in slavery as a punishment. The mentally ill are a disgrace and must be killed as soon as an illness is discovered. They are also a disgrace. Anyone who begins to feel emotions must agree to spend fifty years in slavery, or else he too must be killed so that no weakness may find its way into our society. These laws were put into place by The Tower. They have existed since the inhalation of the human race after The Tower poisoned all the water of Earth causing infertility.  The Tower is perfect and without flaw. The Tower is wise. We must please The Tower. It is to the glory of The Tower that we bond with the most suitable mates. To The Tower we give our offspring, and under The Tower they will work. We chant the hourly ritual, "Put away with all weakness! Hail The Tower! We will work three-hundred years, then two-hundred more! For The Tower!" and forget the past of a green world and soft, weak people. 

[kimbizarre]

My Favorite Poem

A Late History by Weldon Kees

To Herbert Cahoon 1. Black, under the candlesticks, moving in harness To a slow music, we hang the sepulchre And hear the herald angels sing, “He is not here.” It is mid-November. The first snows have fallen silently over the town. I eat black pudding at the altar while a dove Descends from the flaming tower. Later,Dr. Rashdall, behind whose scholarship A generation’s knowledge burns, will unmask Newman. But now it is mid-November. I eat black pudding and the dove descends.

2. In a hollow tree by the bridge, an owl awaits. The moon is full and white. The stars are out. Tall elms surround the statue of a nymph Where old Etonians, festive in Norfolk jackets, Commemorate D. G. Rossetti with a plaque. I relish the scene, remembering old Watts-DuntonBoasting, “Dogs have never bitten me!” that day we talked about Rossetti. Later, attacks of gout, That horrible baby that looked like Gosse, a wheelchair Wobbling on toward Trinity, webs covering my eyes. But tonight the moon is full, and white. Thus 1904 begins.

3. Of the far end of Marseilles and the islands: A dwarf climbing where the waves are luminous With phosphorescent lights, where foam bursts into flower, And the slow rise and fall of the ocean rocks the world. Moving like a crab over the sand, He murmurs, “We can never praise the beauty of the world enough, my friend” Later, death by starvation; Until the end, swinging on a trapeze for an hour Every day, longing to be tall.  He left some wonderful paintings. I walk beside him now At the far end of Marseilles, toward the islands. 

4. Now, now, if ever, love opening your eyes, The great blind windows lifted toward the sun, the doors thrown open wide.  I said to my heart, do I wake or sleep? —Soon, soon, these closings start Where mornings held the garden captive; and early dusk, Laden with mist and smoke, drift upward from the grass. The wind dies. The scraping leaves are still. I said to my heart, ravaged by darkness, “Now, Soon, and Later have become each other—doors all closed, the windows blocked and barred for good—All and sink down together to the bottom of the sea. Do I wake or sleep? It is late tonight as it will ever be.

[kimbizarre]

Encouragement

I encourage you to be encouraging. Negativity is normal by nature, but why live naturally when we (Christians) are super natural beings? Say some kind words. Spread some love. Make a difference. Thank you Michaela Sanzari for this reminder.

[kimbizarre]

Worship

Exodus 15:20-21.

(20) Then Miriam the prophet, Aaron’s sister, took a timbrel in her hand, and all the women followed her, with timbrels and dancing. (21) Miriam sang to them:

“Sing to the Lord,     for he is highly exalted. Both horse and driver     he has hurled into the sea.”

Worship in music is not about what we look like, or how good we sound, it's all about the heart. Worship, I believe, is the most INTENSE spiritual moment a person can have with God (beside the first time they accept Jesus). Worship is a person saying, "God, you are awesome," and I believe everyone worships in their own way.

But let's be honest; if you won the lottery, would you cheer? Would you sing? Would you dance? Would you be overwhelmed with happiness? The answer is yes. Now, when someone says, "I'm just the type of person who worships God by sitting in my seat quietly," I think, "Oh, okay, so you're the type of person who will sit quietly when someone hands you a lottery check?"  No, that doesn't exist. If worship time isn't MORE overwhelming to you than the idea of winning the lottery, then there's something wrong. Your money may last you your entire life, but it will lose its value over time and eventually be spent or given away. God is eternal. God will not lose value. 

Miriam and the other women PRAISE God, singing and dancing with tambourines. The Lord just defeated their enemy, Pharaoh, right before their eyes and they gained FREEDOM.  Christ set us free and therefore, we should worship Him because He granted us freedom from sin and eternal damnation (Galatians 5:1), just as he granted the Israelites freedom from their 400 years of slavery (Exodus15:13). Worship isn't a time to worry about how "proper" you look or a time to make fun of your friend for doing jumping jacks in church, it's a time to tell God how much you love him, connecting on a spiritual level regardless of who's looking. That might mean you'll end up jumping around, wobbling in place, spinning in circles, waving your arms, lifting your hands, dancing around-- and that is such a beautiful part of worship, the fact that people are so overwhelmed with joy that they cannot contain their excitement! ***And on a side note, if you were taught that worship is a time to stand still and respectfully sing a hymn, let me tell you, Miriam was a prophetess, a strong woman of God-- and she praised God by singing and dancing. No, percussion instruments are also not evil tribal demon summoners (as I was taught in church as a kid), because she played the tambourine. And YES, dancing for God IS biblical, and not some worldly movement used to attract a mate.***

So I encourage you, dance, sing, be loud, shout His name! Be like Miriam and be the first to engage movement when others feel awkward. Praise God with everything no matter how silly you look. He is worth it!

[kimbizarre]

Through Heaven's Eyes

Every morning for my first two hours of work I listen to the Bible. I decided that I had been neglecting the Old Testament, so I began listening to Deuteronomy (boy, what a place to start). I'm not really sure why I started there of all places, but I just did. After about two days of hearing ancient rules and laws regarding slaves, virgins, livestock, etc., I decided to go back a couple books to Exodus.  Exodus begins with Moses' story, and though I was taught about Moses as a little kid, I never read the scripture from an adult perspective, paying attention to all its detail.

Listening to the story of Moses brought to mind The Prince of Egypt. So, I went home and watched the movie once again. I came to a scene that stood out to me much more than others, it was the scene where Jethro sings "Look at Your Life Through Heaven's Eyes" (click the title of this post to hear the song) as all the people dance around the campfire, praising God (in a secular, non-specific way... you know, since it was a DreamWorks film).

So it got me thinking...

"A single thread in a tapestry  Though its color brightly shine  Can never see its purpose  In the pattern of the grand design  ...

So how can you see what your life is worth  Or where your value lies?  You can never see through the eyes of man  You must look at your life  Look at your life through heaven's eyes  ... So how do you measure the worth of a man  In wealth or strength or size?  In how much he gained or how much he gave?  The answer will come  The answer will come to him who tries  To look at his life through heaven's eyes" My life right now feels like I'm following a map which has been placed in my hands upside down and backwards, covered in coffee stains and Cheeto fingers, with the creases worn straight though in some spots creating holes and tears. To put it simply, I am confused. Expectations can really screw with someone's head. The world expects me to be a contributing tax payer, my parents expect me to go to college and be successful in whatever field I obtain my degree, my boss expects my devote loyalty to the company, and I expect myself to always do the right thing.  But what good are people's expectations of your life if what they want for you isn't God's plan?

I'm noticing more and more why I feel the way I do about success-- it's how I was raised. I was raised that I must accomplish A before I can become B and ultimately achieve C. But God doesn't always work like that. I want to look at my life through "heaven's" eyes, I want to go where God leads me. As the popular worship song goes, "Where you lead me, Lord, I will follow. Where you lead me, Lord, I will go," because I know that if my ideas are man-made and humanly logical, I may fail. But if I follow God's will for my life, NO ONE can stop me no matter how IMPOSSIBLE my goal seems. 

It is only through God that we can be prosperous and successful... But first we must throw away everything we've been taught by this world (especially expectations) and learn what success and prosperity really is.

 How else could you know what your life is worth or where your value lies? You can't measure a worth of a man in wealth or strength or size. You can never look through the eyes of man. You must ask God. You must look through heaven's eyes. Peace.