11 PM, como?

[kimcastro]

bcnhqs​:

“Fuck this, seriously. I don’t need to stand here and let you tell me what I was doing when I was with you. I challenged you because I knew you owed it to yourself and the only way that you were going to do that is with someone who didn’t give a shit. Who you didn’t think cared when it all came down to it. I mean, at least if you told me I wasn’t anyone really all that important, right? Listen, I don’t need this shit, okay. I do mean it, and that’s the issue. You’re not listening to me literally tell you that I mean it. When we first met, I didn’t think you gave a fuck. Hell, I didn’t think I gave a fuck either. I’m not going to say sorry for leaving, because I figured shit out. I’m saying sorry for not telling you. But, continue to believe what you want. Because a guy like me could never change,” he exhaled, loudly. There was so much passion, and rage in his words. They spewed from his mouth faster than he probably even realized. “You know, what? It’s okay. Be mad at me. Put the blame on me. I’m used to it – It’s always my fault, even now. I know that, I own up to it, truthfully. You can’t act like you’re not lonely as hell with that wall you’ve got up. Own up to your own truth, would you?” Before he could let his words sink in for Kim to respond, Ben turned around and started to walk away, hiding any signs of emotion or weakness that had fallen to his facial expression. 

“you knew nothing about me! still don’t know nothing about me.” kim said, even thought they had so good chats about their past, about what they love to do. he wasn’t there when she had a bad time in her life or a happy one, he doesn’t know how she face the challenges life gave her. “you just assumed all that by my actions, i never judged you for anything that you told me or did. i never told you that you weren’t important to me, i cared about you because that’s what i do, i care. that’s exactly the point! i don’t mind you leaving, i bet you had fun, had some more experiences. but you are here sorry for not telling me you left, why you are so sorry if you don’t care about me! stop not answering this question.” kim replied to him and sighed as she put her hands on her waist and ran them does her body. “you know, you are such a fucking coward ben. you can’t stay and end this conversation with me, because you know i’m right. i might be lonely with my walls-- but i am happy, happy to teach this little kids how to dance, happy to have my real friends-- so what? i don’t like to let people in cause they always leave. so for me, it’s a waste of time.” she raised her voice to tell him, she didn’t care if he heard her or not, she had to say it. “i won’t apologize for who i am.”

[kimcastro]

rosalie-roberts·:

”Welcome home.” Rosalie wrapped her arms around the girl to hug her back tightly. “I’m glad you’re back. I knew you couldn’t stay away from me for too long.” She teased the other with a smile. “ Yes, please do. Where do you want to eat? I’m starving and I know whatever you pick will be great.” 

“that’s probably true, i mean traveling kind of keep you mind off things and give lots of time alone with you mind. but i do miss the company of the few friends i left here. kim explained to her friend with a nod. “i think we should go to sunshine diner, i feel like eating a big hamburger.” 

[kimcastro]

allisonv·:

“i’m just being kim. you’re good at what you do,” allie responded with a soft smile. she admired how her friend went for what she was passionate about and genuinely enjoyed what she did for work. as much as allie like being a nurse and helping others through that, she still felt like there was something missing. “i don’t even know anymore, honestly. i just feel like it’s too late in the game to switch it up, you know? or i’m just scared,” she admitted with a sigh before a smile came on her face again. “his name is james. he’s so great, i can’t even believe it’s real. which is another thing that scares me. i tend to screw things up and i don’t want to do that with him.”

kim nodded her head. “i think it’s only because i love what i do, and the effect it had on my little students.” she admitted and smiled. kim raised her brow at her friend respond and sighed. “allie, you’re twenty five.” kim said and stopped for a second. “i mean if you’d tell me you’re forthy and lost in your job i would tell you that’s it’s a little bit too late to change your job, but you still could. if you have another passion and you think that’s what you should be doing, first try to mix it up a little bit-- call a week off to figure out you want to do and dare to do the change you need.” kim told her friend with a smile. she cared for allison and is she wasn’t happy with her work then she wouldn’t be happy since it takes her most of her time. “so you’re like dating? why would you screw this up? i mean if you like him you wouldn’t do anything to hurt him-- and if you get cold feet don’t run away, talk to him.”

[kimcastro]

bcnhqs·:

Hearing Kim stand up for herself only made Ben feel even more like an asshole for doing what he did. Ever since he arrived in Springhill, he had begun allowing people open up to him and there were others that he opened up to himself. No matter what side of it they fell on, it was a connection he hadn’t had with anyone in his life in a long time. His jaw was practically on the ground at this point. His eyes moved from her eyes to the finger inching its way closer to his chest, and then his own chest. Ben was waiting for something bigger to happen but, honestly no matter what came next he couldn’t be prepared for. “That’s the issue with this. There was no fucking game involved. I didn’t metholodically plan out that when you felt comfortable with me that I was going to be like a fucking rug and pull myself right out from underneath you. I didn’t decide that I wanted to hurt you. I didn’t think I needed to say anything because I didn’t think it mattered whether I was here or not. Just because we’re friends – or whatever. We weren’t best friends, Kim. I didn’t need to tell you that I was leaving. But I did need to apologize for not telling you now.. At the time, all those months ago, my perspective on friendships were completely different. They were all temporary. Most of them in my life have been. It wasn’t until living in Springhill that I realized friendships mattered. They’re meant to last, no matter where you go. As I said, I fucked up.” Ben sighed, his entire body tense, tight. He wanted to just scream, but he had no reason to at all. He felt rage and saddness and so much more. Not because of Kim, but his own decisions. 

kim took a deep breathe when ben spoke out, she didn’t understood one thing. if he so didn’t care about them not being friends, and if he didn’t care of letting her know that he’s leaving. why was he acting like he knows what he did was wrong. that’s what kim tried to figure out at this moment. “you know, all i’m thinking right now is why you’re apologizing to me? if you know that there’s nothing wrong in what you did, in the actions you made. you’re showing up here, telling me you’re sorry over something you don’t regret doing. so don’t apologize if you don’t mean it ben.” kim said and pressed her lips as she pull her shoulders into a shrug. “guess i was an idiot, because i don’t open up to selfish temporary friends, i started to believe there’s nice people around me, believed that you had some sort of interest in getting to know me for me. but i was just a challenge to you, that’s all. you found this shy innocent girl, got what you want and left. yes, you fucked up. good thing i know better now.” she finished her words, not knowing if she even want to continue this conversation. she was very hurt by his words, she was holding herself not to runaway and stand up for herself.

[kimcastro]

Kimcastro: “don’t you know? True friends stab you in the front.”- pulp fiction

❤️943 likes, 💬 276 comments.

[claireluisa]

“Drunk text me. I want to be the one you think of when you can’t think straight.”

— “Drunk Texts are Flattering” by Claire Luisa

[kimcastro]

allisonv·:

hearing her friend gush about her travels made allison happy. she never traveled before but it was something she wanted to look into if work ever slowed down for her. “well, if that was a first try with freestyling, you did good,” she offered some supportive words with a smile. “i’ll put thailand on my list, then. if i ever actually get to go through with it. uh, not a lot. i mean, i met someone and just been working. you know how that goes,” she said with a sigh, sometimes wishing she had a different career, less demanding.

“awh thanks, allie.” kim said with a shy smile. she looked at her friend confused. “you don’t look really happy when you say that word ‘work’ you know? i mean i believe you love what you’re doing but are you okay mentally with it?” kim asked, worried sound in her voice. “and tell me about that boy please, more deets.” she said with a grin.

[kimcastro]

rosalie-roberts·:

”Not too long.” Rose was glad to hear that Kim was back in town. She thought she would drop by the dance studio to ask her if she wanted to catch a bite to eat. If not Rose was happy to get something by herself. Looking at the dance studio brought back fond memories. She loved going to her local dance studio and spending hours in the room creating art. However she had given up dance a long time ago. “Are you hungry? If so it will be my treat.” 

kim let out a chuckle. “oh you know it.” the latina said with a wink. it was a big throwback every time kim saw rosalie in her studio, going back years when the two moved along some classic music or just some jazz. “i’ll consider it as a welcome back present for me.” she joked around and moved closer to wrap her arms around rosalie. 

[kimcastro]

isabella--durant·:

“trampy–as in tramp, as in lady in the tramp! god–kim, catch up!” she groaned rolling her eyes, the alcohol she had consumed slowly hitting her head with a banging drum against her ear drums. “i don’t want a cat–cats judge me!” she groaned like a teenager pouting her lips. “—he’s coming home with me kimmi, and then we can have a cuddle together and–” she then started to get emotional, tears started pouring but this was purely alcohol induced.

kim just stared at her friend for a second and sighed. “i don’t even--” she said moving her hands in the air softly. “look i don’t know when you drank this mutch i think i even drank more than-- never mind.” she shook her head. “keep it, but take it to the vet first thing in the morning. so you make sure he doesn’t have anything that could harm you.” she said crossing her arms after letting out a deep breath completely ignoring her crying. “but cuddle with him after you take him to the vet not now.” 

[kimcastro]

arloeverton··:

Arlo hadn’t meant to stand there staring. He’d only ducked back in from the car because his nephew had left his water bottle in the studio. He could see it on the opposite wall of the dance studio. He’d meant to just slip in and grab it but Kim had taken the floor and now he was propped up against the doorframe. Watching her and called out like a creep, too. “Oh, uh–” He felt the heat pooling in his cheeks. “Not that long.” Arlo lied, as he’d been there the entire time. “Pip just left his drink bottle and I, uh–” Gesturing just past Kim with a nervous laugh, he began to meander to the lone bottle. “That was choice. You’re a, uh– you’re a talent, eh?” 

kim gave her arm a small stroke and nodded. “oh -- “ kim said moving her hands all over the place, she wasn’t used to people come and watch her, only the little kids so it’s been a pretty long time since she performed by herself. “their personal stuff is usually there.” she pointed at the small hive closet that was next to the door where the guy was standing. kim felt her cheeks turn a little bit red before answering to the guy, although it’s been a long time since she got compliments by her dancing, it felt good a little bit. “thank you, it’s been a while since i danced but i guess i have a little talent.” she said with a small laugh at the end. 

[kimcastro]

bcnhqs·:

There was so much hurt in her voice. He should have expected this, but there was the part of him that was hopeful that maybe she hadn’t taken their time together as seriously but he was wrong, so wrong. He clearly made her feel some type of way and there was no way he was going to be able to take that back. Ben was sure that her life was better without him in it, but he enjoyed so much getting to know the woman that she was with him. “I should have said goodbye, I know that now. I didn’t think that you really would have given a shit. Hell, wasn’t I just some fuckin’ guy who made you do everything you didn’t want to do anyway? Couldn’t have been so bad that I left.” Ben was now showing in his own way how hurt he was for the mistake he made, for allowing himself to think that’s all it was. He cared for her, truly. “I had to force you to be around me anway. Can’t you see how I would think that I didn’t need to say anything to you?” 

it’s not that she felt some sort of romantic feelings to the guy, she felt like as a friend he didn’t get the part. yes, they had this sexual tension since the classroom incident. but what she liked by ben’s company was that she felt like she could be herself and someone like understands and want to have fun. kim opened her mouth to take a deep breath in. “ben are you hearing yourself? take your words back.” she said a stopped for a second. “i am not that girl you get to play around and leave when you want to. not talking in a romantic way-- i let my guards down with you, you know it. and maybe it’s hard for you to believe it but you did too with me. as a person, i think i deserve a little bit respect.” kim added as she took a step closer and pointed at ben’s chest. “you know i didn’t even want to believe that it was just a game for you, i really thought you wanted to know about me, be friends with me. but when you left, i knew i was wrong sadly.” kim said putting her hand down. “if you thought you don’t need to say anything to me, why you’re here apologizing?”

[kimcastro]

allisonv·:

allison heard kim was back and she knew she couldn’t waste time without dropping in on her, knowing exactly where she would be too. the two met when allie was new in town and kim was one of her friends. she would always appreciate everything she did for her and how welcoming she was. when she got to the studio, she couldn’t bring herself to interrupt her friend so she just waited there. she smiled when kim noticed her and shook her head, “not too long but you seemed to be in the moment. i couldn’t interrupt. and i couldn’t wait any longer to come see you! how was time away?” she asked, walking closer to her friend and giving her a hug.

she was happy to see some people who brought up sunshine in her life. allison was one of them, she always loved to have her around and happy to show off the town she grew up to her. “yeah i was trying to do a new routine, get my muse back.” she explained about her moment back then. “it was fun! i saw and did lots of stuff i wanted to for so long. let me tell you, you must visit thailand.” she said with a smile. “what about you? what did i miss?”

[kimcastro]

isabella--durant·:

“don’t talk to trampy that way-” isabella spat back out raising a curious eyebrow. “–i mean, what if you were a lil’ dirty with some diseases, abandoned, would you want me to leave you, hm?” Isabella was aware she did come across quite aggressive when she wanted to be. “Kimmi, i’m just letting you know–your cat…does not like you. I’m sorry to break it to you, but—you can tell…Look it’s even giving you the hissy eyes.”

“oh she called him trampy..” kim hissed with a disgusted look. “let’s say that i would shower and take care of myself, and when i get better you could see me again. this is a cat izzy.” kim took a few steps back from the woman. “you can tell him that i don’t like him too.” she said and gave him hissy eyes as well. “ c’mon put him down already i need to take you home.”

[kimcastro]

bcnhqs·:

Ben could admit that what he did was wrong, and that took a lot for him. If you were to have asked him years ago if he would have aplogized for getting up and leaving without telling anyone, he wouldn’t have. But now, he realized that there was more to his relationships, he really cared. Sure he was still a man from a tough background and had a hard time moving from that, but he was getting better at being honest with himself. Except it was almost a little too soon for others, like Kim. “Well, not the only thing I have to say but,” he hestitated, sighing, “– I know I fucked up, Kimberly, I know. I don’t know what the fuck I’m supposed to say to make this better. I’m sorry.” Ben combed his fingers now through his short locks, a nervous habit that he had. He didn’t know what to do, what to say. There was nothing he could do to make up for leaving. He didn’t think she would have been as bothered but, he was wrong. 

kim knew that she didn’t have to expected too much of ben but some how she felt like he could have change a little bit, not just for her but for himself. but she was wrong and she understood it from the second she realized the guy left without saying anything, kim was upset at fried but then understood that she couldn’t change him, or anyone for that matter. just be careful to who she open ups to. “it’s not about what you need to say now ben, it’s about what you should’ve said before you just left.” kim explained to him. “look i’m really good right now and i don’t need you to walk in my life to make all ‘wild’ again, i’m good with how things are going right now. i hope you’re doing well too.” kim said letting a soft sigh at the end of her words. she was hurt by his actions but again, she just learned from it.

[highly-emotional-people]

Sofia Carson Wonderland Magazine, December 2017

[kimcastro]

bcnhqs·:

Ben had made so many mistakes in his lifetime. One mistake he appeared to make over and over again was making the conscious decision to leave people after her gets to close to them. He dropped out of high school to travel, leaving his younger brother. He traveled and got close to people in those places and left them behind. He arrived in Springhill, thinking that this habit was better than him and he was doing it again – he left just when people were opening up to him, and he was opening in return. It was that fear of getting to close to anyone, as if saying goodbye was harder than letting them know. Ben contemplated if returning to Springhill was the best idea, there would be so many people that would be frustrated with him, upset. He was walking the streets, contemplating who to contact. And then, before he really had the opportunity to decide who to let know he was back – his eyes had fallen on his spray paint accomplice, his classroom hook up – Kim. But, she was so much more than that, and he knew that whatever they had going on between them, he was no longer in her good graces. His hands rested in his pockets, looking at the ground for a moment longer, going speechless. “You look real good, Kimbo. Real good,” was all he managed to get out. 

like every time for kim, she was opening up to someone and that someone somehow always let her down. she didn’t know what’s the deal with ben, but he knew like no one ever did and yeas it was a soft spot for her. but a troubled boy will always be a troubled boy, at least that what made her feel more positive. all she wanted to do is just say ‘i told you so’ to herself, ‘you shouldn’t be opening to people’ all those words, now that she lost her parents-- yes she felt relief but sad at the same time, and it’s going to chase her anywhere now. coming back to town, she thought that everything is gonna stay like it was and all she’ll do is to teach little girls and boys how to dance. and now she might be wrong. kim turned her body to look at ben and she let out a dry laugh. “that’s all you have to say? that i look good?” she asked, she has that annoyed tune in her voice. god she didn’t even want to start that conversation. 

[kimcastro]

since kim was back in town the only thing she wanted to do was to focus on her students and help them with any little thing they need. it was important to her that they will feel comfortable around her and that they will like they always have someone to talk to.  after she said goodbye to everyone she decided to stay in a little bit just for herself, to free style some of her moves in front of the mirror. after a few hours of stability and dancing kim just landed in a round jump and recognized someone standing at the entrance to the studio. “oh my god-- “ she let out an emberessed laugh and ran her hands down her hair as she looked down. “how long have you been here?” @shstarters