Cosimo Galluzzi
One Nice Bug Per Day

JVL
Claire Keane

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TVSTRANGERTHINGS

Love Begins

Janaina Medeiros

tannertan36
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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Show & Tell
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we're not kids anymore.

shark vs the universe
d e v o n
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@kimmyisms
❛twenty nine with shoes that light up. you’re truly an icon.❜
“Pfft- totally. A fashion icon. Amirite?”
‘ …. yes. i remember. excellent evasion, by the way, but REALLY. your name? — ‘
“Thanks, it helps to think of leprechauns while I do it. ...Schmidt. ”
“I don’t think you can DO that. it has a collar.”
“But he was just sitting there, on somebody’s porch...with a leash- Oh no I think I just stole a dog.”
“Polka dots are better than anything. But gray & black can be nice too if it isn’t BORING.”
“True. But I still prefer yellow. And pink! I love pink.”
‘ …. i see. do you make a habit of LYING to your employers?? — ‘
“You’re my first employer. Do you remember? Because you said ‘Do you understand the concept of employment?’ and I said ‘Nope’ and offered you a gummy shark. ”
Get to know me meme - [3/10] female characters - Kimmy Schmidt ↳ I’m not stranger danger. I’m a stranger danger ranger!
‘ indeed it was. well-spotted.— ‘
his concern is in no way lessened by the gesture she makes in the air, & he slips his hand into his pocket, fingers curving around his mobile. he fully intends to ask google who the HELL he had let into his house at the earliest convenience.
‘ of course you are! now, your name is Kimmy… what was the last name, again? — ‘
“Smii--ii--th.”
She nods with the clear lie. Wanting to keep her molewoman identity as far gone as she could at this point.
“Kimmy Smith. Is me. I am...Kimmy Smith.”
‘ oh, joy. i was beginning to think you might NOT have been normal. i thank you for putting my mind at ease.—’
he briefly made a mental note to do a THOROUGH background check the next time he found himself in need of a dog sitter.
‘ just take care to walk on the SIDEWALK, & not the ROAD, would you?? — ‘
“You’re very wel- wait was that sarcasm?”
She was getting quicker at spotting it since she had been living with Titus for a while. Luckily. And she had also stopped getting into vans with strange men. Success!
“Hey, I’m an adult now, come on.”
To prove this, she throws him a gang sign that she watched on MTV in the early nineties.
‘ …… — ‘
he would love to make some sort of SNAPPISH retort— but good help is so hard to come by these days. or, it would seem, mentally competent help.
‘ FINE. i will deal with the list. & you can attempt to redeem yourself & walk the dogs. — ‘
“Aww, yes! I love dogs! And being outside!”
Kimmy simply grinned, before remembering that she should at least try to act normal.
“Y’know. Cause I do those things all the time. And always have. Because I’m normal.”
Nice save.
unbelievable.
‘ allow me to, ah…. spell it out, then. when you are working FOR someone, you show up at the time they decide, and no later, or else you wind up fired, & poor, & crying into uncooked package noodles. do you understand?
——- and no, thankyou, i’ll pass.— ‘
“ You know, you shouldn't do that. Cyndee once cried into our food and it tasted gross. But fine, Mr. Grumpypants. I understand. Also I tried to find what you asked me to get you, but honestly I don’t understand half of this list.”
‘ ….. do you not understand the concept of employment?— ‘
“NOPE! ---- Do you want a gummy shark?”
❝ c’mon, you’re almost there! ❞
she isn’t sure why, but now, she r e a l l y wants to get kimmy to say a curse word.
“If I go to H-E-L-L for this I will ask the devil himself to blame you.”
She even spells out ‘Hell’, but after a moment, she leans in and lowers her voice to just above a whisper.
“Fuck.”