UNBREAKABLE

Troll the respawn, Jeremy. (Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt RP)

[gifthetv]

[gifthetv]

[gifthetv]

[landlordlillian]

[petiition]

     ❛twenty nine          with shoes that         light up. you’re truly an icon.❜

[kimmyisms]

“Pfft- totally. A fashion icon. Amirite?”

[regnannt-deactivated20150528]

   ‘ …. yes. i remember.         excellent evasion, by the way,           but REALLY. your name? — ‘

[kimmyisms]

“Thanks, it helps to think of leprechauns while I do it.            ...Schmidt. ”

[brookesmxrt-archive]

  “I don’t think you can DO that.                         it has a collar.” 

[kimmyisms]

“But he was just sitting there, on somebody’s porch...with a leash-             Oh no I think I just stole a dog.”

[concjita]

“Polka dots are better than anything. But gray & black can be nice too if it isn’t BORING.”

[kimmyisms]

“True. But I still prefer yellow.     And pink! I love pink.”

[regnannt-deactivated20150528]

      ‘ …. i see. do you make a                habit of LYING to your employers?? — ‘

[kimmyisms]

“You’re my first employer.   Do you remember? Because you said  ‘Do you understand the concept of employment?’   and I said ‘Nope’ and offered you a gummy shark. ”

[padmeamdalas]

Get to know me meme - [3/10] female characters - Kimmy Schmidt ↳ I’m not stranger danger. I’m a stranger danger ranger!

[regnannt-deactivated20150528]

   ‘ indeed it was. well-spotted.— ‘

his concern is  in no  way lessened by the gesture  she makes in the air, & he slips his  hand  into his pocket, fingers  curving  around  his mobile. he  fully  intends  to ask google who the HELL he had  let into his house at      the      earliest     convenience.

                    ‘ of course you are!                                now, your name is Kimmy…                                  what was the last name, again? — ‘

[kimmyisms]

“Smii--ii--th.”

    She nods with the clear lie. Wanting to     keep her molewoman identity as far gone     as she could at this point. 

“Kimmy Smith. Is me. I am...Kimmy Smith.”

[regnannt-deactivated20150528]

  ‘ oh, joy. i was beginning to think you might          NOT have been normal. i thank you for putting              my mind at ease.—’ 

he  briefly  made  a  mental  note to do a THOROUGH background  check  the  next   time   he  found  himself in  need of  a  dog  sitter.

                                    ‘ just take care to walk on the SIDEWALK,                                               & not the ROAD, would you?? — ‘

[kimmyisms]

“You’re very wel- wait was that sarcasm?”

She was getting quicker at spotting it since she had been living with Titus for a while. Luckily. And she had also stopped getting into vans with strange men. Success!

    “Hey, I’m an adult now, come on.”

To prove this, she throws him a gang sign that she watched on MTV in the  early nineties. 

[regnannt-deactivated20150528]

‘ …… — ‘

he would love to make some sort of  SNAPPISH retort— but good help is so hard to come by  these days. or,  it would seem,  mentally competent                         help.

     ‘ FINE. i will deal with the list. & you can              attempt to redeem yourself & walk the dogs. — ‘

[kimmyisms]

“Aww, yes! I love dogs! And being outside!”

                          Kimmy simply grinned, before remembering that                                         she should at least try to act normal.

    “Y’know. Cause I do those things all the time.        And always have. Because I’m normal.” 

                          Nice save.

[regnannt-deactivated20150528]

unbelievable. 

      ‘ allow me to, ah…. spell it out, then.              when you are working FOR someone,  you show up at the time they decide,      and no later, or else you wind up fired,            & poor, & crying into uncooked package                  noodles. do you understand? 

——- and no, thankyou, i’ll pass.— ‘

[kimmyisms]

      “ You know, you shouldn't do that.       Cyndee once cried into our food and it      tasted gross. But fine, Mr. Grumpypants.                            I understand.       Also I tried to find what you asked me to     get you, but honestly I don’t understand                          half of this list.”

[regnannt-deactivated20150528]

  ‘ ….. do you not understand          the concept of employment?— ‘

[kimmyisms]

“NOPE!                 ---- Do you want a gummy shark?”

[landlordlillian]

[upchuckfactorarchive-deactivate]

     ❝ c’mon, you’re almost there! ❞

     she isn’t sure why, but now, she      r e a l l y wants to get kimmy to       say a curse word.

[kimmyisms]

“If I go to H-E-L-L for this I will ask the devil himself to blame you.”

               She even spells out ‘Hell’, but after a moment,                she leans in and lowers her voice to just above                a whisper. 

“Fuck.”