i am so fucking tired of feeling nervous. all i ever feel are varying degrees of nervousness
noise dept.
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Not today Justin
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One Nice Bug Per Day
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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@kindarecovery
i am so fucking tired of feeling nervous. all i ever feel are varying degrees of nervousness
Anais Nin, Mirages: The Unexpurgated Diary of Anais Nin, 1939-1947
i feel like i can’t be close to anyone at all anymore in any way and i am so fucking sad. i just want to be held close and feel close and cry close.
“touching the pain is part of the healing process”
i dont feel like im getting happier but i do know im getting more stable and it’s annoying but i think maybe hopefully that means eventually ill feel the good more consistently one day
my worry is eating away at my stomach lmao
man for once im pretty sure why my body is throwing a fit and exactly what i need doctors to check for but its such a lose lose situation bc i dont want to have to deal with it if im right and if im not right and they say its nothing ill lose it lmao
i am getting better, one day i will start feeling better too.
idea: i got top surgery one day and tell my mom its to avoid breast cancer? lmaoo
words that feel like a hug
everything makes me want to hit things which means i know im frustrated which is probably why ive been wanting to hurt myself but i dont know why im so fucking frustrated and i dont know what i need or what will help and that makes me more frustrated and everything sucks and i hate being nervous of myself
i stumped the crisis call worker LMAO
at least u love me in my dreams
“Your art isn’t valued by the number of notes you get” okay but. If you spent 6 hours baking a cake for a party, but no one at the party eats your cake, it’s still disappointing.
This articulates something about the different between value and validation that I didn’t previously register on a conscious level.
This is why I tell people I feel more like an entertainer than an artist.
I want to hear them laugh, chat, comment, speak, roar, cry, get irrationally angry, I need people to respond to my art and get inspired and need more.
I don’t want a note, I want a response.
Responses are very nice. I like reading over them. They make me feel fuzzy. Of course, likes and reblogs are also very appreciated, but responses make me feel a special kinda fuzzy.
Responses are crucial for content creators. You can’t grow a plant without giving it some water. The day and age of internet has really spoiled us into thinking “seeing is the same as responding” and it’s just not. A million people can see your created content but without a response, it might as well be zero.
THIS. THIS IS SO IMPORTANT!
tomorrow
need to:
- trim fish, stella, and boba’s nails
- sweep
- dishes
- scoop cat litter
- medsmedsmedsmeds
- save my damn fucking plants
could do but could also do tuesday:
- talk to TL krista about KV & their gender supports (kv neeeeeds more) AND mention being open to supporting the program
- text TL erin about completing umab training
- calllllllllllllll laundry places & ask about services
- call ksac back
-
im gonna get groceries this weekend and take myself on a picnic.
wait i didnt do this lmao. maybe this weekend
STILL HAVENT DONE IT BUT STILL TRYING
robyn keeps on saying i need to externalize my feelings somehow but any time i try or want to my brain becomes mush and i feel Nothing im so annoyed