Hey it's Laura @kindofsmth - Tumblr Blog

haleyincarnate

asking-the-death

kindofsmth

and it never fucking ends

probably better be held by a stranger, so you dont get upset by how i really am

im a fucking mess wish i could die for a while

i’m ashamed to be seen or talked to, wish everyone just forgot about my existence right now

don’t wanna talk

wanna be held

shit’s all right i’m okay yeah

gotta get bad days bad weeks bad months or even bad years to get the good ones

but it feels like a never ending

i’m tired, exhausted, thought i couldnt be more. just realized.

wish i could get drunk right now tbh

#haveshittodo

this shit is making me anxious i can’t even control myself

Just want to get some things out of my chest

2016 and 2017 have been completely exhausting years. They were all ups and downs Im really tired of putting so much effort on relationships. Always been on a second place, giving up on battles were i shouldn't. Not giving my opinion or expressing my feelings anymore because of fear. Being positive (about the relationship) were there was nothing positive to look forward at. The thing is: I was starting to fall in love w/ her. For some reason she said she didn't feel enough to continue it. That was fine for me, honestly! My heart broke but I was happy I could be her friend. But there have been these times were I just couldn't make it: not sleeping at night, overthinking about life, being sad all day, making sad the ones who love me and etc... I decided to take some time for myself And now that i take the chance to talk to her again: she doesn't reply. And now what? Like, honestly, how more immature can you be? I'm not gonna chase anymore (i always did it at fights), if you are mad you have no reasons and if you are not mad and you are going through smth and want some time..then why not telling me? Like "hey i'd love to take some time cause i realised i will get better like that" okay babe i would just say "take care of yourself, talk to me when you are sure you are alright with it" But right now...it feels like im nothing to you and like you never cared about me I know you and thats not how it really is. Vain behind the screen huh! Being this cold doesnt make me feel right you know? Id love to feel a little bit loved or wanted by you, by a friend. Normal, isnt it? Be real, be you cause baby you are gold and you dont even realise it. You'll lose people if you act like you are not. Nevermind. I'm exhausted. From now forward, i'll be the one waiting. Take care, bye