EXTERNAL AFFAIRS OF LUST

This 'tumblr blog' belongs to Minos, king of Lust and Judge of Hell Searching for bonding opportunities //NSFW DNI

[sisyphusprimeofgreed]

To his splendorous radiance and ally, King Sisyphus of Greed, I send mine best regards.

Through this unbecoming letter, I come to apologize for mine negligence towards our relationship. It is of upmost importance that our diplomatic bonds remain stable for the time being, thus it is recongnizable that fraternity is an essential step for the desired establishment of our relationship.

Therefore, one hast found it most dignifiying to personally invite thee for a personal rendezvouz upon the hanging gardens of the Lust Layer, a place most secluded from prying eyes, yet to which shall still prove entertaining enough for both our presences, for the time being.

Prithee, consider this invitation generously, as I am confident a meeting of such kind hast been most yearned by both our hearts. May it compensate the past conundrum, and that it eases thy spirit, as a reminder of mine everlasting zeal and affection towards thyself.

With undeniable devotion, @kingminosoflust

K

-sisyphus

[k-1369]

Not suspicious sounds of rustling bushes

[inexactgolem63]

You're doing amazing, your majesty! <3

@kingminosoflust

[k-1369]

SHHHHHH be silent Sisyphus will notice us.... We don't want to let his majesty down.....

[inexactgolem63]

Ah right sorry sorry =w=

[sisyphusprimeofgreedmod]

We can both hear you

[k-1369]

OH SORRY MR SISYPHUS SIR weeeeeee were just walking by with my bestie @inexactgolem63 hahaha god are we really that louddddd hahahah

[sisyphusprimeofgreed]

Why do you have a sign then

[k-1369]

We're having a protest meeting to set up an ice cream stand here instead of bench

YES @inexactgolem63 YES&&&???

[inexactgolem63]

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.... Y-yeah yeah! That! Exactly! Ehehehe please don't kill us @sisyphusprimeofgreed (´⊙ω⊙`)

[kingminosoflust]

Thy radiance, prithee excuse the behavior of these sinners of mine domain, I believe they mean no harm towards thy graceful presence. I wouldst assume they merely... misinterpreted the meaning of this visit of thine. Now, please excuse us, dear citizens of Lust, for this garden hast been hired for a private meeting.

@sisyphusprimeofgreed

[kingminosoflust]

To His Excellency King Minos, our wise and most certainly thoughtful leader, Head Chamberlain Byrnes sends his apologies.

Whereas the climate of Greed is ill-suited for both the upkeep and usage of leatherwear, and whereas the Head Tailor has declined to surreptitiously take His Radiance's measurements during his visits, I must regretfully deny your plan to gift him a leather jacket.

(I agree that he would look beautiful, but please choose a less blatantly homosexual gift.)

To mine ever devoted Head Chamberlain, Sean Byrnes, I wouldst firstly and foremost prefer to express my endless gratitude towards thee and thy fine work. Naturally including the writing of this letter, in consideration of the required knowledge of this 'tumblr' application. Thine apologies are, then, immediately pardoned by thy majesty and lover, Minos of Crete. One admits it hast previously been rationalized by the unconsciousness of my own, of how irrealistic it wouldst be for the man to have a chance to experience the planned couture in the conditions of the layer in which he belongs to. Therefore, I shall be the one to implore for thy pardon. T'was foolish to involve such a number of skilled workers into mine trivialities. But, ah, couldst thou blame this hopeless soul, for merely desiring to see a man sculptued with the finest of constitutions adorned by the graceful ebony-colored leathers of a jacket? ...I shall attempt to design a new manner to endown him with a less... as thou hast described... blatantly homosexual gift.

Perhaps an adornment for his next visit, one he may always wear when he decides to grace us with his glorious, everbright presence...

I shall ponder further, and thou shalt be the first one informed, dear Byrnes. Thy Highness and Lover, King Minos, Judge of Hell

[kingminosoflust]

For you, sweet and beautiful king

How adorable, dear citizen...! //King Minos pats you with the pad of his finger, which still almost squashes you, though he is careful enough not to

[kingminosoflust]

Can i put braids in your beard?

Ah, I wouldst most love to receive such special care from mine people. Prithee, mindeth not if I do! //He leans down his gigantic face, thus presenting you with his gargantuan beard.

[kingminosoflust]

Hey minos watch this!

*procededs to do the worlds worst summersault*

Ah, the memories flood me now...

//He brushes his beard sagely as he remembers that one time where he did a backflip and caused thousands of casualties in the Lust layer.

[kingminosoflust]

☆°•☆°•☆Pipe bomb!☆°•☆°•☆

Black hole blast

//Although he has tried for a while, Minos seems incapable of using special characters in typing.

[kingminosoflust]

Before was was was, was was is 🤔

Ah, indeed.

//the man nods sagely.

[kingminosoflust]

Did you know that the species of fish known as Sacabambaspis is not truly extinct, and thriving in Antarctica?

If not, that is because this is an obvious lie. Haha. I just wasted your time.

(- @the-queen-of-all-lies ) (it took me far too long to spell sacabambaspis right)

Must I remind thee, I am the Judge of Hell, and the one to righteously send thee to the layer of Fraud, for the most just of reasons. Mine eyes pierce through thy mirth and lies in instants. As thy tongue first clicked in thy lips, I was already aware of the lies that would escape the wretched tongue of thine. Notwithstanding, no one hast explained to me what Antartica is yet.

[kingminosoflust]

Hello King Minos

After my 24 hour stay in the city, I have now founded a job and have a rock family

I am extremely grateful for you changing my life for the better

The two rocks I have gave you seem very happy with you, King Minos

Can they stay with you? Of course I will bring their rock siblings to visit you

Hope you don't mind them calling you uncle

- 🪨

I am honored to have the pebbles for companions, truly, they art most graceful friends to Rhadamanthus and Aeacus, the snakes in mine. And oh my, my oh my, tis an unspeakable honor to be so cherished as to be considered an uncle of sorts!

[kingminosoflust]

Leans on expensive car and slips and falls face first on it

Ah, such pitiful attempt at courting.

I believe such efforts would be most appreciated by the men in greed, were they not so busied by the insurrection. Nonetheless, tis still an attempt... and I most appreciate love in all forms, thus thou shan't be disintegrated by mine black hole blast tonight.

[kingminosoflust]

*sprints towards you excitedly before tripping and slamming my face into the pavement*

Oh my... such inconsequential excitement... prithee, allow me to aid thee getting up.

//thus he extends the largest palm in hell towards you.

[kingminosoflust]

starts nibbling on ur finger

Prithee, cease this at this instant!... it tickles!

[kingminosoflust]

Did you know that- 😴😴😴😴 mimimimimimi 😴😴😴😴 mimimimimimi😴😴😴😴 mimimimimimi 😴😴😴😴 mimimimimimi

Oh mine goodness... such sleepiness... zzz

[kingminosoflust]

Thank you for the offer to join the city King Minos, I shall be moving in soon

I am very grateful that you are generous enough to offer that

When I have money I may take care of more rocks

- 🪨

There is no need to thank me, dear. Many on the Lust layer shall empathize with thy suffering, please make sure to make thyself at home.

[kingminosoflust]

”external affairs of lust”

so is that like. intentional orrrrr?

I am most unsure of what is the intentional subject thou may be referring towards...

[kingminosoflust]

Why are there fish in hell.

What kind of sin could a fish commit, how does one even judge a fish?

I hath exclusively judged humankind for its sins, in all mine years as a judge. Though I am unsure about the excavating machines found in Limbo, I can say with certainty that all flora and fauna in Hell are, in fact, artificial. Though not man-made, every inhuman thing is derived from Hell's own arché, its blood creates our rivers, and its flesh, the land of the wretched's lament. I do not doubt that Hell would find entertainment in creating facsimiles for creatures that once lived, though its conscience tis beyond the limits of mine comprehension.

That being said, I wouldst enjoy seeing these 'fish'... I miss eating something earthly, after so long, even if fake.

[kingminosoflust]

Can i have uppies? I wanna see what you see

Naturally, thou may! Please carefully climb mine hand, and I shall give thee a taste of the kingly gaze.