Peter lifts his head but doesn't bother even trying a smile. "Hey."
"Hey?" Junmyeon doesn't offer a smile either, and it's one of the traits Peter has admired about him, even if they've really only met in person a few times that he could count on one hand.
"Am I allowed to come in?"
"Do I have a choice to send you away?"
They both give a half snort before Junmyeon cracks the door open fully and Peter makes his way in. Even if he doesn't see it, he knows Junmyeon's watching him more carefully than he shows, simply at the request of Brian.
Peter would have his eyes all around Junmyeon's house, curious about his interior choices and furnishings -- but he just doesn't have it in him, and definitely not the leisure. He has a hundred thoughts in his head but at the same time, none that he can fully articulate, not even to himself, let alone another person.
"Sorry for barging in." He heads straight to the first chair he sees, placing his luggage by the side before leaning his body's weight against the chair. "I'll leave tomorrow night. I had the choice to just buy a ticket straight back to Paris at the airport when I landed, but they said the first ticket out wasn't direct and I really didn't want to get on a plane with two connecting stops and..."
Peter looks up at this moment, because it's not like of him to be running his mouth so much and he's expected the other to stop his rambling at some point. Instead, Junmyeon's eyes are trained on him, just letting him finish. He wonders why he's given so much patience, when they barely much know each other. It's strange, but he sees the same warmth in Junmyeon that is in Brian, and it's both welcoming and disheartening at once.
"I just need a place to sleep a couple of hours... and the hotels around here are extremely over priced. And... I don't really know the area anyway. I... I don't know. I'm not sure." He feels much unlike himself, making so many excuses.
The raw truth is that he doesn't want to be alone, at least not tonight.
Junmyeon doesn't respond right away. It makes Peter nervous for some odd reason, until Junmyeon comes over to him and makes a motion with his fingers.
"Give me your jacket and go take a shower."
"May not be my place to ask this, since I know you're not much of a talker... but." He crosses his arms and tilts his head. There's pity spread all across his face, and Peter feels even worse because of it. "You doing alright? Like I said, I don't mean to intrude, but you've been making a lot of small mistakes that's very unlike you, the most detail oriented person I know at this company."
"And beyond your work... you just haven't seemed the same."
Peter grips the laptop at his side a little tighter. He doesn't know why he should have to feel this defensive about his state of being. Right now, in this moment, all he wants to do is exist, and even that seems overbearing and difficult. He felt better compared to a month ago, or at least —
He was mistaking feeling less for feeling better.
"I'm doing okay." He manages to say, adjusting his glasses. "It's just the busy season, I think." There's a bit of silence before Peter realizes he's supposed to say more. "Oh, and I got a cat. Maybe it's the cat." Peter murmurs, his voice starting to crawl into a hole of it's own. He's starting to mumble, and he's hiding his fingers behind his back, fumbling with them. Brian would've told him he was doing the thing, and even now he's still lingering in his thoughts.
"It is the cat. Definitely the cat. I didn't know cats were so much work."
His boss doesn't look convinced at all, but to Peter's thankfulness, he drops the topic of conversation. "Alright, well. Just shave every once in a while, at least when you come into the office. And some sleep. Even HR is getting worried if we're abusing you from your dark circles."
"Thanks for the warning."
"Not a warning, just a suggestion." The other hands over a folder to Peter, before adding, "...as a friend."
Normal him would've said something a bit impulsive and possibly offensive, but he's got no energy for it. Instead, he gives another thanks with a nod of his head.
He paints his nails, black.
It's something he had always thought about doing, but never did because of a fear of being seen a certain way. As unprofessional. Weird. Hipster. Strange. Goth.
Maybe he wasn't as comfortable with himself as he had thought to be. And yet, he had given Brian so much fire for being too careful about their relationship around outside peers, his fans, and his parents.
"You know I'm gay, right?" Peter asks, or more so states. He's playing around with his fingers while sitting besides Dowoon at the restaurant table.
It brings up a blink from Dowoon, who swallows something down his throat. Even if Dowoon's slightly out of his line of sight, the redness of his ears is enough for Peter to know — and it's not from the alcohol in front of them.
"Uh, yeah, I know. I.. I know."
A wave of silence passes, and he hears Dowoon swallowing a few more times. He laughs, and Dowoon gives him a strange look at him.
"Why are you laughing?" Dowoon asks, genuinely curious.
"Because of you." Peter answers. "And I think I'm tipsy."
"That's nice. I mean. Not being drunk, but... I mean..." Peter notes the way his ears grow even redder, and begin to wonder what's more red between him and the wine in his glass. "I like it when you laugh."
Another bit of quietness rests between them, before Dowoon looks like he wants to say something. Instead, he leans near, close enough for it to be questionable. He doesn't move any closer, and instead lets Peter decide for himself. Peter closes the remaining distance between them, pressing their lips together.
Up till now, he had thought it better that Brian remained an absence so that they remained a question. And yet, in this very moment, it no longer felt like a question, and more than an answer — and the wrong one.
"Maybe the universe is telling you to move on."
"I think you're telling me to move on." Peter replies, giving his best friend a look.
"So I'm your universe now? Predictable. I always knew you were in love with me. I get it. You're into the best friends to lovers trope. Maybe we can make it happen."
"Uh huh." Peter runs the tip of his thumbs around the rim of his cup, staring at the coffee in it. It's long lost it's warmth, distasteful and lukewarm. He feels quite like it, just as in between even with two entire seasons past. "I'm taking time off. I asked for brunch because I was wondering if that... photographing across Europe trip together was still on the table."
"You mean the trip we planned together in middle school?" Youngjin raises a brow, with a playful grin.
"Merde. We planned that in middle school?"
"You were way more full of dreams when you were younger. Remember, you wanted to get married to an electric violinist and be in a traveling band with them with two kids exactly two years apart. Also with six cats or one hamster. And also wanted to become the first Spanish-Asian president of Spain or something."
"Working in a cubicle definitely changed you. But..." Youngjin nudges at Peter's side, meeting his eyes. "...the adventurer Pillie still in there somewhere."
"I know because I saw bits of it again when you were dating him."
“You’re leaving for work tomorrow morning?”
"Yeah, I... wasn’t really thinking when I got on the plane and accidentally used up all my vacation days.” A genuine laugh leaves Peter, as he scratches the back of his neck.
“I thought you always had like three or four weeks saved by this time of the year?” Brian is more observant of him now, if he could be any more so than before.
"Well I did..." Peter’s hand remains at his neck, now itching at the other side. Even if Peter doesn’t remember so, Brian knows him too well. It’s a habit of his when he gets embarrassed, especially when accompanied by his eyes falling downward to the ground, as they go. “A month ago.”
Brian processes what Peter’s said only afterwards, and it leaves him thinking for a while. It’s strange to imagine Peter of all people not thinking; especially with something as time and energy consuming as flying overseas. Brian tries to imagine it but for some reason can’t— yet when he gets another look at him, he knows it’s the truth. It’s in his disheveled gaze, to his messy hair, unshaven face, and wrongly buttoned shirt.
Nothing about him seems like Peter, yet his smile is the same.
“So you can’t...” stay, he wants to say, but decides on another word. He’s only just come back so it seems too selfish of him to ask of something as heavy. “...come grab breakfast with me tomorrow.” Brian wonders if his smile is enough to assume, or if that’s dangerous.
Peter looks up at him, and his eyes are doing much more of the talking than his words are. It’s the regret lining them; the rue overcasting them. “Mm, no.”
The street lamp above them flickers a few times, and Peter’s lashes do the same as he blinks quite intentionally once, then twice. His eyes peek over to Brian another time, before letting out a subtle sigh.
“Can I... try something?”
“...depends on what it is.” Brian replies, and surprises Peter with the response. The Brian he knew wouldn't hesitate to take him up, allow for him to knock at his door and open it without thought. Peter's not used to this Brian, and he seems foreign. Not familiar.
Even Brian seems a bit unsure of his reply, lips still parted open as if he wants to correct himself — but also knowing better than to allow Peter in any deeper. It makes Peter smile again, because it’s respectable, and so different than the man he knows. But instead of letting him give another answer, Peter brings him in for an embrace, throwing his arms around his neck. He buries his head in the crook of him, closing his eyes.
The first thing Peter notices is his change in scent. It’s again, not familiar, but at the base of it still yells Brian. It’s comforting in that way, although new and exciting all at the same time. It’s only when he feels Brian’s hands settling warmly on his back that he lets himself stay there even a bit longer, as if having gotten the permission to do so.
Even in the short moment, Peter tries his best to stretch out time. Not because he wants to linger in it more, but because it seems like he’s been waiting for this bit for the past year.
"If not breakfast... can I take you out to eat a late dinner?"
"Yes." Peter answers, with such certainty and without missing a beat that it surprises Brian. "Please." Peter adds, staying in his arms for a beat too long, with the answer he's gotten over the seasons.
titsay
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tangentwithtanner
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