I'm an autistic aroace individual with a complicated relationship around sex and adult content in general- I've been hypersexual in private for a very long time, and yet I don't have anyone to talk to about this side of myself with, and have had many poor experiences maintaining traditional relationships (despite wanting the outlet a partner would offer...).
All that to say, I think I'm discovering that I may be interested in being sexual *only* in kink spaces and pre-communicated scenarios. The only thing we would expect of each other is what we ask of each other, and whether we're anything more than friends outside of the bedroom is completely unrelated. I'm not interested in people visually, only in the intimacy and excitement and physical contact they can help create.
The problem is that I have felt a bit lost over it. I don't know how to find an 'in' to these communities without sifting through hookup culture (a whole new social world), and sometimes I feel selfish or undesirable because of my personal needs being so callous and,, personal.
This has turned into a bit of a confession, whoops, but some positivity about being new to kink spaces and desiring very artificial and safe experiences would be very nice <3
That's so valid and understandable! We've made a positivity post about some of this, which you can find here.
Additionally, we'd like to call for our followers to submit advice with being new in kink communities/finding an "in"—we don't feel qualified enough to answer that definitively ourselves, and we feel that sort of advice is often best from as many disparate sources as possible. Being new to kink spaces is something literally everyone in any kink space is at least once, and desiring entirely negotiated and kink-based sex is completely healthy and normal!
