"Don't know if I'm doing this right, I've never done this before, Jesus take the wheel" - kevin moon [kinza, she/her, 22, indecisive multistan, choi youngjae enthusiast] [masterlist / networks]
what to expect when you’re expecting || c.yj
alternatively known as: the one where youngjae gets an s/o because coco got knocked up
rings || w.js
alternatively known as: the one where jackson reconnects with a childhood friend because they compete in the winter olympics
fic recs
NCT
-127-
lost in translation || a 127 series - on hiatus
alternatively known as: the series where 127 finds themselves falling for someone who can’t speak their language
-DREAM-
none yet!!
-WAYV-
secrets || q.k
alternatively known as: the five times that WayV unintentionally find out that kun is dating someone and the one time he actually introduces you to them
shakespeare in love || w.kh
alternativeily known as: the one where hendery falls in love with his co-director while putting on romeo and juliet
moon river || l.yy - coming soon!!
alternatively known as: the one where yangyang ends up falling in love with his neighbour a la breakfast at tiffany’s
nct fic recs // wayv fic recs
SKZ
fool like me || s.cb - coming soon!!
alternatively known as: the one where changbin can’t stop making a fool of himself in front of his crush and chan is the only one who knows how to fix it
monster house || s.cb - coming soon!!
alternatively known as: the one where prince changbin can only be coronated after completing one final task - defeat the ‘baba yaga’
how to bake bread || l.fl - coming soon!!
alternatively known as: the stages of a relationship defined by a bread recipe
future nostalgia || a skz series - on hiatus
alternatively known as: the series based around dua lipa’s hit album ‘future nostalgia’
fic recs
DAY6
no longer writing for them!!
fic recs
SEVENTEEN
-HIP HOP-
the great fratsby || c.vn - coming soon!!
alternatively known as: the one where vernon keeps throwing frat parties for a chance to talk to his crush
-VOCAL-
adore u || l.wz - coming soon!!
alternatively known as: the one where woozi develops a crush and absolutely hates it
-PERFORMANCE-
shoot your shot || k.hs - coming soon!!
alternatively known as: the one where hoshi finally kisses his crush at a frat party
ss count: 17
warnings: fluff, profanity, dirty jokes, argument, injury, angst
synopsis: how convenient is it when your phone’s battery is constantly running low? apparently that’s the only way Seungmin gets to contact you while he’s on tour. your phone dies, you disappear, you come back and it dies again (and somehow his patience never does). the cycle continues. it takes him a while to get used to your sudden vanishing acts. but when you get into an argument, he realizes not every silence has to come from a dying battery.
pairing: chan x gn!reader
contains: fluff — all chan wants to do is work, sleep, and be given enough forewarning to fix his hair before you come over. unfortunately, jeongin cannot get his nose out of chan’s love life even if he wanted to (which, for the record, he doesn’t).
♡ note: it’s not a leislibrary fic if jeongin isn’t a menace. if you love me you’ll keep an open mind about the rules of grammar. 2.1k words.
dividers by @lariesographic / my masterlist
Time is a game and Chan has bugged out of the map. At best, he’s doing side quests. He’s hunting down flawless amethysts and family swords, meanwhile there’s fucking dragons and a civil war to be concerned about. You would tell him he’s being dramatic, but he feels completely validated in his dramaticness. He defies anyone to wrestle with his music program over a four-second snippet, with an album deadline looming over their shoulders, without losing their mind.
He doesn’t know when an update is due. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe in a week. Either way, he needs to start making actual progress soon. It’s not like he’s gotten nothing done tonight — he’s added a riff to a song he’s still workshopping, tweaked it, removed it, added it back in, then ultimately removed it again. He glares at the screen. His laptop, cruel and unforgiving, glares back.
Most times, it’s nice having his own personal studio in his and Jeongin’s dorm. Most times, he doesn’t have to remind himself that dousing the whole thing in lighter fluid would mean his bed also goes up in flames.
He presses play, and the chorus is still missing something he can’t quite place. The beginnings of a migraine twitch behind his eyes.
He can buy a new bed pretty easily.
The fact you haven’t responded to him for the worse part of seven hours has absolutely nothing to do with his obsession over creating something within his control. Those are two separate issues that he is handling perfectly, thank you very much, and he’s succeeding at not thinking about you. Or what you would think of this song. Or whether or not he did something to cause you to ignore him.
Before he can act on his arsonist fantasies, Jeongin raps his knuckles on the familiar doorframe. “How’s it going?” the youngest asks, fully aware of the answer by the deep set shadows under Chan’s eyes. He doesn’t wait for a response before continuing, “Your favorite member is here to detach you from your laptop.”
Without looking, Chan chucks the nearest object that won’t actually hurt – a stuffed plushie no bigger than his hand – at his voice. He grins at the thud of it hitting Jeongin square in the chest. Then, purely to add insult to injury, “Oh, is Felix here?”
Chan expects to be conked in the head with the same plushie, or with Jeongin’s fist, depending on his mood. If living with Jeongin for so long has taught him anything, it’s that he will not let that slide. The youngest has been much more dramatic over much less – he distinctly remembers Jeongin threatening to “live somewhere I’m appreciated” when Chan once tried to wake him up ten minutes early.
Nothing comes flying back at him. Jeongin stays firmly in place, keeping his knuckles to himself. “Nope,” he says, popping the p, and Chan doesn’t need to be looking at him to know he’s grinning. His tone is too I’m-happy-to-watch-you-dig-your-own-grave for Chan’s comfort.
Chan finally looks up, pushing his headphones all the way off his ears and blinking through his eyes adjusting to the dim light.
Jeongin stands in the doorway, as he expected, sporting a shit-eating grin to end them all.
You stand behind him, the subject of his unrequited love and picture of perfection, watching their exchange with amusement glittering in your eyes. You’re clutching the plushie.
Chan stands up so fast his head rushes. The wired headphones clatter against the ground. He’s acutely aware he hasn’t touched a hairbrush today – or yesterday, if he can figure out what time it is. He briefly considers if it’s too late for him and Felix to debut as a duo.
To make matters worse, you just say, “You threw this at me,” and toss the stuffed animal back at him. He doesn’t catch it. It fumbles from his grasp, and lands with a humiliating thump right next to his headphones. Your resulting giggle will be the death of him. Or Jeongin. Quite possibly both.
Chan does his absolute best not to succumb to mortification right then and there, and instead asks, “What are you doing here?” He doesn’t meet your eyes.
“Innie texted me to come over. He said it’s important I see you.” Still smug as hell, Jeongin nods. “And you didn’t answer my texts, so I wanted to see if you’ve eaten. Hold on.” You disappear from the doorway, leaving just Jeongin, mischievous and defenseless.
Chan pounces. “Dude,” he hisses through his teeth, “what happened to the ten-minute warning before they see me?” The standing agreement exists to give Chan time to get his heartbeat under control. He hasn’t even had time to use his emergency travel-sized mouthwash (just in case, you never know, and he prides himself on being prepared).
Jeongin, of course, ignores him. “Dude,” he mocks, “Why don’t you answer your texts?”
Your words come back to him. And you didn’t answer my texts.
Huh? He grabs his phone off the desk, tries to turn it on, and is only met with a black screen. It’s dead.
It’s dead!
You answered him, and he just didn’t see it. He could cry.
When you appear back in his sight, you’re carrying an opaque container, no doubt containing a homemade meal. He could cry again; he doesn’t know the last time he ate anything that didn’t come out of a wrapper. Jeongin gets out of your way so you can step into the room with Chan – who kicks some dirty laundry under his bed and prays you didn’t notice to whatever god that hasn’t given up on this entire situation.
Once he’s in the living room, Jeongin catches Chan’s eyes and smiles at the back of your head. Oh no. Much like how animals can sense incoming storms, Chan can sense when Jeongin is about to pull some terrible little brother shenanigans. He is correct. With all the subtlety of a flare gun, Jeongin begins horribly, slowly, obnoxiously making out with the air behind your back. Apparently, people are allowed to still do that past middle school. He’s dangerously close to getting to second base with an oxygen molecule.
Chan, subtle as a brighter flare gun, shoots Jeongin a withering glare over your shoulder. If looks could kill, Stray Kids would be a seven-member group right now. Fat lot of good it does anyway, because Jeongin’s eyes are scrunched shut as part of his whole routine.
Chan forgot that you can actually see him trying to mentally will Jeongin to burst into flames – and, in the worst moment of his life, you turn around to see what’s so distracting.
Your body freezes.
Oh God.
This is it. This is the end of Chan. He has to bury himself alive once this is all said and done. There’s just no other dignified option.
Like the car crash of a person he is, neither one of you is able to tear your eyes away from Jeongin’s one-person show.
Where’s the lighter fluid when you need it? The next time he’s out – which, if he’s honest with himself, isn’t as soon as anybody would hope – he’ll have to remember to buy a bottle.
Jeongin cracks one eye open, and is met with both you and Chan wearing the exact same horrified expression. He doesn’t look nearly as scared as he probably should be, considering Chan is mentally planning his funeral. There will be lilies and carnations. No roses, he doesn’t deserve them.
He finally straightens out his posture. “Well, I’ll leave you two to…” he winks and Chan decides in that moment to outsource his eulogy, “Talk.”
Chan waits until he hears the lock of Jeongin’s bedroom door clicking shut before he breathes again. A wet blanket of silence settles over the room. From two walls over, he can practically hear Jeongin heel-clicking in joy at being the root cause of All of Chan’s Problems.
You swallow, the gulp audible in the quiet, and Chan prays the ground would open up and swallow you two whole while you’re at it. Dimly, the not-evolved-from-monkeys part of his brain wonders what else you swallow, but there’s no way he’s letting himself follow that train of thought. Last time he followed that train of thought was when you licked vanilla ice cream from the side of your mouth, and Hyunjin kicked him in the shin so hard he had a bruise for two weeks.
He’s weighing the pros and cons of just walking out and starting a new life. Stray Kids? Never heard of ‘em.
A small infinity passes before you both speak at the same time, because good lord of course this situation needs any more awkwardness. “You go,” Chan digs the toe of his shoe into the hardwood floor.
Your voice is smaller than he’s ever heard it. “Sorry about him,” you say. Chan’s head snaps up. Oh, Jeongin better count his days for making you feel the need to apologize. “He’s always,” you take a deep breath, like you’re stalling saying something big. Despite himself, Chan leans forward. “He’s always making fun of my feelings for you.”
“What,” Chan croaks. Then, because his brain still needs time to catch up and denial is easier, he so matter-of-factly states, “You don’t have feelings for me.”
Confusion laces your expression, which, fair. “I - what?”
His cheeks burn hotter than lava. “You can’t like me.” What happened to the confident leader of a chart-topping idol group? His mental state has apparently diminished to the sound logic of “nuh-uh”/“yuh-huh” arguments.
You set the container down in favor of crossing your arms defensively over your chest. “Well, I do.”
“No you don’t.” Denial is not starting to feel easier. In fact, it’s starting to feel like he’s in kindergarten again, filling his school days pulling girls’ pigtails and picking his nose. He’s about three steps removed from accusing you of having cooties.
“This is an argument between five-year-olds,” you point out. Hey, he was just thinking that. “It’s a wonder I still like you.”
Oh yeah. The mortification isn’t gone, because what the hell Jeongin, but his stomach is starting to flutter as his brain comes online again. More than anything, he needs to navigate his response with grace to not scare you off, but his pulse is too quick and his tongue feels too big for his mouth. In a move that will haunt his nightmares for years to come, Chan stumbles over, “I like - I have feelings for you too.”
Chan wishes he could frame the way your face lights up at his admission. He’d hang it over his bed; it would be the last thing he sees before he sleeps and the first thing he wakes up to each morning. You already are the first thing he thinks about, but it would be nice to have a picture to go along with his imagination.
Usually, he has to do his best to squash down any evidence that your smile turns him into mush, and he’s already instinctually biting his lip, when he realizes: he doesn’t have to do that anymore.
He pulls you into him with trembling hands. When your lips connect, it’s better than anything he has ever let himself dream about. You taste like warmth and love and a little bit like your lip balm, and Chan would kiss you forever if he could. He’d stay here, the world could pass you two by, all he needs is you holding him.
Thank God for Jeongin texting you, the bastard. Jeongin, the best person he kno-
Wait.
Chan pulls away. It takes every bit of willpower he can conjure up not to give in to your frustrated whine. “Did you say he’s always making fun of you?”
“Yeah?” You bring a hand up to brush a stray hair out of his eyes, and he’s about to abandon his line of questioning entirely. Not yet, though.
“How long has he known about it?”
“Well,” you let your hand drop, looking thoroughly confused why he’s decided to play detective, “He officially started about six months ago, but I think he knew way before then. Why?” Then, almost as an afterthought, “Minho and Han too.”
As a kind and benevolent leader, Chan will wait until tomorrow’s dance practice to hurt them for sitting on the biggest secret in the world for Six. Months.
Right now, Chan has you all to himself, and he’s not leaving this room for anything in the world. He pulls you back into his arms, taking a moment to angle your foreheads together, trying to memorize every detail of your face. He’s sure you can hear his heartbeat. He doesn’t care. “No reason,” he whispers, before bringing you into him again.
another ♡ note: i wrote most of this at 2 am and my nose bled 4 separate times before finishing it, so most writing & any (read: none) proofreading happened under blood loss. don’t point out anything negative, ty love you.
skz taglist: @emilyywhyy @velvetmoonlght @opiumfidgetspinner @bahngarang @angelwings-fly @pixie-felix @certainstarfishmiracle @luvvvivi @strhwa @ayedomino-08 @breakmeoff @foppishitudinality @ilovedallywinston @cookiewookie9t @lezleeferguson-120 @flwrkissed
lmk if you want to be added/removed from the taglist!
twice (2 & 3 are interchangable depending on what year we’re talking about LMAO)
mamamoo
brown eyed girls
top 5 favourite mvs?
starting this list by saying I don’t usually watch the MVs I am a spotify or illegal streaming girlie
(g)i-dle - hwaa
ptg - do or not
youngjae - vibin
itzy - wannabe
svt - snap shoot but the mingyu version/spider - HOSHI
bonus: hot potato by N.Flying - they got a whole ass BOXING RING for a song about being a hot potato ok I have to mention them
top 3 leaders?
hui of pentagon - pentagon comeback WHEN!!!! also I will never forgive cube for firing dawn
bang chan of skz - mY bOyS sPiTtIn' FaCtS tHeY lOcKeD aNd LoAdEd!!!!!!
soyeon of (g)i-dle - I love women who produce and also deal w shitty comapnies and still manage to produce absolute bangers <3
how many albums do you have?
0 bc I am: broke
do you share/have a birthday close to an idol?
changbin from skz is like 6 days older than me lol
fancy date w bias or at home date w bias wrecker?
fancy date are u joking I have to be looking my best just to measure up to their every day looks
mvs or live performances?
both!! mvs are gorgeous and I love looking for lil easter eggs and editing tricks but also live performances have some of the best costuming
fav album + song of your current ult group?
(g)i-dle:
fav album: I burn for sure. like as much as I love oh my god and lion, I burn has HANN, HWAA, moon, and dahlia. straight up BANGERS!!! AND the beginning of producer line
fav song: DAHLIA loml
svt:
fav album: semi colon my beloved
fav song: aju NICE *trumpet noises*
three fav maknaes?
yangyang - yue unlocked a WHOLE bunch of memories when she listed him so yes absolutely yangyang my little chaos bringer
wooseok (ptg) - JUST LOOK AT HIM. the literal definition of “I’m just a baby :( ... IM JUST A BABY >:(”
dino (svt) <3
rap or vocal line?
depends on the group but I think majority of them I go w rap line
what song got you into kpop?
HyunA - Ice Cream and The Boys - SNSD
current album you have on repeat?
I burn - (g)i-dle (unsurprisingly) and dawndididawn - DAWN
if you were in a kpop group, what positions would you have?
dancer for sure, ahjumma (or whatever the opposite of maknae is), language master of the group
hi mads!! thanks for answering my plea for asks lsdkjfld
9. A song that makes you happy
A lot of songs tbh!! but the one lately is literally SMILEY by Yena ft BIBI lmfao
10. A song that makes you sad
Kal Ho Na Ho - Sad from the absolute heartbreak monster of a film Kal Ho Na Ho
11. A song you never get tired of
lsklfj this is gonna sound so bad but probably Diliwali Girlfriend from Yeh Jawaani hai Dewaani OR Chammak Challo (by Akon!!!!!) from Ra One
18. A song from the year you were born
there were so many songs released in 99 but TELL ME WHY ~ain't nothing but a heeeaaaart break~ will be forever iconic
that and also all star by smash mouth which was featured in the ACADEMY AWARD NOMINATED MOVIE Shrek
1. A song you like with a colour in the title
2. A song you like with a number in the title
3. A song that reminds you of summertime
4. A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about
5. A song that needs to be played LOUD
6. A song that makes you wanna dance
7. A song to drive to
8. A song about partying
9. A song that makes you happy
10. A song that makes you sad
11. A song you never get tired of
12. A song from your preteen years
13. One of your favourite 80’s songs
14. A song that reminds you of autumn/fall
15. A song that is a cover by another artist
16. One of your favourite non-english or Korean songs
17. A song that you would sing a duet with at karaoke
18. A song from the year you were born
19. A song that makes you think about life
20. A song that has many meanings to you
21. A favourite song with a persons name in the title
22. A song that moves you forward
23. A song that you think everyone should listen to
24. A song by a band you wish were still together
25. A song that reminds you of springtime
26. A song that reminds you of wintertime
27. A song that breaks your heart
28. A song by an artist with a voice you love
29. A song that you remember from your childhood
30. A song that reminds you of yourself
31. A song that is bittersweet
32. A song that no one thinks you would like but you do
33. Wildcard! A song recommendation!
what are songs that make u guys ache… they don’t even need to be very sad songs, really. just songs that make your heart hurt in its place in your chest
