theoretically, dieter can read in a cafe. theoretically, he can read in the cafe where shosanna reads. theoretically, they could read in the same cafe—
Usually likes the submissive role in bed until you piss him off
Talks about marriage and four kids on the second date (the first date consisted entirely of him complimenting the outfit you spent approximately zero minutes figuring out)
Average dick, above average technique, below average dirty talk
Currently considering taking an English Minor so he can write better romantic poems to serenade you
Not a cook. But for you? Anything!
Loves dramatic, traditional acts such as candlelight dinner, roses in bathwater, bouquet of red roses
Even bare ankles got him feral
Talks in his sleep
6. Archie Hicox
Overconfident in his pickup lines (they only work because you like him anyway)
Boardgame nights take an extra hour because he doesn't understand the rules (he's lucky you find his confused expression adorable)
Saves all his rizz for when he's drunk
He loves lying on your chest
No matter what, he ends up cuddling you as you fall asleep
Gets horny at either 7pm or 2 am. No in-betweens.
Extrovert
Gets super talkative about his passions (to you, he talks about film and literature. To others, he talks extensively about how intelligent and beautiful you are.)
If you're traveling, he signs up for every coupon and time-saving premium pass out there. He pays for all of it, duh.
The only dish he can cook are spinach frittatas
Favourite sleeping/cuddling/fucking location: the large fur rug by the fireplace. Preferably with whiskey and two glasses nearby
Likes formal wear on dates, but pulls out his uniform every once in a while to spice things up
7. Hugo Stiglitz
Casually says on a Tuesday morning that he'll do anything for you (and he will)
He's so skilled, he makes you have multiple orgasms for the love of the game
Favourite date is somewhere peaceful outdoors, with no interruptions
He can make you cum from just kissing
Reptile and fish lover (as pets)
Action over words
Surprisingly domestic (you gifted him a strawberry apron as a joke and now he wears it every time you cook together)
Comes off nonchalant, in his spare time googles potential homes and wedding rings while imagining you and him are married
He's a gym rat and is the only reason why you are at the gym at 6 fucking am
You can wear literally anything and he still finds you the pinnacle of beauty
8. Bridget von Hammersmark
It took a while to realize she liked you because you thought she flirted with everyone
You know it's serious when she takes out her expensive perfumes and cosmetics
Loves giving and receiving hickies
Avid enjoyer of neck kissing and bird watching (no corralation)
Perfect date is both of you being all dressed up and having a great time. As the night approaches, you are both tantalizingly removing each article of clothing with increasing drunkenness
Passenger princess (speed limits, what are those? a suggestion?)
Burned the kitchen down while trying to bake you a half-anniversary cake
Personal quota: how many times can she make you blush in one conversation?
Enjoys clandestine meetings
Not PDA, but will tease and flirt relentlessly and shamelessly in public
so so so sexy. jc. truer words have never been spoken.
the rewatch last night just reinforced this for me. like u know when he turns around in the bar and says 'i'm making you and you responsible for him [wilhelm]' like his tone of voice. holy lord.
a.n: okay probably going to do dieter for the next one someone requested wedding night smut a realllllly long time ago so might acc try and get round to that. hope u enjoy these!!
~
first of all just as a side note hans would be so excited when he first finds out you're pregnant
although he obviously is a military man, children have always been in his life plans, so he couldn't have been happier
also in his mind this is definitely going to be the first of many - you just know he wants a football team
anyway when your daughter arrives it's the happiest day of his life, seeing you both together moves him to tears - and this isn't a man you usually see crying
for the first few months he's a little on edge, worried about both you and your newborn, treating you as if you were made of glass
you keep reminding him that the baby is now outside of you, and he doesn't have to tiptoe around you like he did when you were pregnant
hans is excellent with the baby; he takes time off work whenever he feels like it just because he wants to stay home and be with you and your daughter (and who's going to tell him no)
loves doing domestic stuff with your daughter, which was something that surprised you at first
part of you worried that he would leave it all up to you and not want to so much as touch your child, so it was nice to see how hands on he was from the get-go
one thing that was a delight to witness was his insistence on learning how to do her hair
when she got a little older he began badgering you to teach him how to do it; what started out as a simple ponytail progressed into a whole mass of intricate braid styles (once her hair was long enough for it)
he would look so concentrated whilst he did it, taking it much more seriously than you or she did; "did i just move this strand? do i go over or under now?"
would obviously be a very protective father
as soon as she starts nursery wants to know everyone she's becoming friends with, nigh-on doing a background check on their families just to make sure they're 'acceptable'
"hans for god's sake she's four years old", "i know dear, i'm just making sure"
would probably be very critical of the people taking care of her and would make sure to choose the best nursery in the city - that is if he'd let her go to one in the first place
you would insist it was better for her to be around children her own age, have some friends to play with, whenever he would bring up the possibility of a stay-in nanny
god forbid she come home with any sort of bruise or scratch from playing outside
one day they accidentally call hans at work rather than the house, when your daughter seemed to be coming down with an illness, and you can be sure that all hell broke loose
he would bring her home on the night with a face like thunder, and after carefully putting her to bed would tell you this was the final straw - she wasn't going back there
it would take a lot to calm him down but your reasoning worked out - after all, what about all of her friends
hans would definitely have pictures of you and her littered all over his desk, the only thing that kept him going through the long work days
my two special girls
one thing you loved to watch was when he would read her a bedtime story, absolutely anything she wanted - even the soppy ones about fairies and princesses
loved doing the voices for all of the characters in the stories, especially when they had foreign accents and he got to put on a new persona
on another note you can be sure your daughter's speech would be an amalgamation of english, german, french, italian, and possibly even more languages
she would pick up words that hans would mutter to himself, things he would say to foreign officials over the phone, and you'd have to go asking him to translate
the part of the day hans looked forward to the most was finally getting off work and just sitting with you both, your daughter babbling in his ear about all she did that day, you resting your head on his chest, the first break you'd got all day
