Kiro's Silence

An outlet for my strange life.

[kirosilence-blog]

I AM BROSYPHILLIS

[kirosilence-blog]

The New Car

After days of work my new car is ready and I have been doing a good bit of driving! This will greatly improve my ability to shoot for the channel. I plan to do a new video every two weeks or so, and maybe a few little shoots in-between. But most of my activity will be here on Tumblr. Felt a bit off most of today, again with the unease. I have been unnaturally scared, like something is coming for me I just don't know what. I slept through the night again but didn't feel refreshed, if anything I felt more tired this morning. I'm starting to think I am getting sick.

[kirosilence-blog]

The video from the meetup, the camera is defiantly dead. We got to discussing the locations of the next shoots, but not before I get myself a new camera.

[kirosilence-blog]

Approval

I woke up this morning with a pounding headache and a wicked cough, I think I may be getting sick, bad timing though as I am about to receive my new car. On the bright side I think the nightmares may have stopped, probably due to venting my stresses out in the open. I got the call earlier that my car has been approved and everything is ready for me. I am glad that is over, and having wheels again will make my life so much easier. It will also allow me to film further from my home, which is good. Also, Road Trips! I am still feeling uneasy despite all this. I am thinking it is just an after effect of the break in and note, although I have been feeling this way for a while now, since before any of that happened.

[kirosilence-blog]

Tired, and Prepared.

Last night I didn't feel like I got any sleep at all. I woke up almost as soon as I drifted off, this is the first night since the Barn that I have not had that nightmare.. simply because I didn't feel like I dreamt at all. I woke up exhausted, it was rather strange, I knew I slept but I didn't feel like it. Tomorrow is the meetup where we are going to start planning out some videos. I am excited, and have been pulling out my camera a lot lately just on a whim to film. This need to document is getting under my skin, and I keep bringing it out to record. Maybe I'll post some of my other videos on Youtube as well, not just the exploration ones. There are some really beautiful places out here if you like the prairie and getting a look at them as well would be nice.

One of the areas I am considering shooting for my exploration is the inner-city park near us. Unlike most parks inside cities this one is very natural, with little manmade intrusion. It's more like the city was built around the forested park then the park build inside the city. It's a gorgeous place and has all kinds of interesting, and eerie spots hidden away. We'll see what happens tomorrow night, and find out what will happen going forward.

[kirosilence-blog]

Train Ride

One of my last days taking public transit, thank god. I saw the strangest thing on my way home, sitting on the train. There are two sets of tracks, one going north and one going south. As I passed on the south tracks I saw a man standing on the north tracks, he seemed to be standing there, watching the train go by. I didn't get a good look at him as we were going rather fast and it was very dark out. Odd to say the least and a bit grim, as the tracks are fenced in, and another train (Headed North) passed us by less then a minute later. He may have been hit, maybe even killed. I'll keep eyes on the news to see for sure.

The car should be ready for me on Tuesday so I should be good to drive by then, no more transit (thank god). The meetup is still on for Monday night and I plan to enjoy it, talk about some interesting thing and plan some dates for some exploration and filming.

I'm uneasy, I keep seeing things out of the corner of my eye, something will be there but when I focus my vision it will be gone. I think this overt paranoia is being caused by the stresses of my work life. I won't have much time off coming November, and the new financial burden of a vehicle again is layering on to that.

[kirosilence-blog]

Channel Info

One more quick thing I didn't get to in my last post. As I have mentioned a few times here I am planning to run a Youtube Channel to chronicle my urban and rural exploration, and perhaps some other things. A few friends of mine are getting together this monday for a meetup to do some planning. Locations, dates, the like, and I'm going to use it as a sort of intro. That video will probably be up a few days later.. Of course pending it doesn't get randomly deleted.

[kirosilence-blog]

The new car, dubbed "The Mattmobile."

[kirosilence-blog]

Car Shopping

I've been quiet the last few days, trying to keep myself busy to keep my mind off this unease. It's getting worse every day, I seem to feel this general sense of dread anywhere I go. I've been suppressing it where I can, but even my friends have noticed me glancing over my shoulder. I went car shopping today, I think I have a nice new one. It will allow me to be more mobile and be more active in exploring the "Modern Ruins" as I call them, the run down and the forgotten places in the modern era. A lot of interesting stories behind the veil of these places and it's something I love to do, investigate them, even if recent events have me on edge I need a good way to enjoy myself and maybe being scared of a ghost story in a ruined house will keep me from being scared of everything else. I still can't quite decode the message I received a few nights ago, it's been bugging me. I'm starting to wonder if it means anything at all, or if it is just the ramblings of a crazy person I somehow attracted. I've had my share of crazies (Mostly in the Ex-Girlfriend department) but leaving random notes with sketches and codes is something wholely new, I'll look more into it later. For now I will take in the little things, like the new car smell.

[kirosilence-blog]

Restless

Spent all last night pouring over the page that had been jammed in my door. I have no idea what it means, I've checked around online and probably will work towards the answer more today, but I think I need some actual rest. Surprisingly I am starting to suspect the barn, it's been a week almost since the trip, and this sense of unease, the general paranoia, and the recent harassment has only started after that night. I must have pissed someone off, and maybe they followed me. I have been having that dream I described last week every night since the barn. I wake up refreshed and fine, but the same dream for almost a week is a bit unnerving. I am considering doing some research into what it means, subconsciously and perhaps even para-normally. Every night I feel the dark choking me more, like slender hands on my neck, filling my lungs and flooding me with this unnatural terror. The street going dark, and him, something watching from the cloud of black. It must be the stress, and this intruder isn't helping.

The part that scares me the most is that sometimes it's hard to tell if I am asleep or not.

[kirosilence-blog]

So about ten minutes ago, I heard a knock at my door. This caught me off guard because it is 1 in the morning here. I looked out my window and saw nothing, opened my door and still nobody, but jammed into the slot between my door and wall was this paper. I have no idea what it is, but I am getting REALLY annoyed. Whoever is fucking with me, has just stepped to far. I am certain this has to be the same person who broke into my house. Someone has it out for me. It looks like a code, Wc9scccs3E8. I have no idea what this is. "Watching You" is a bit creepy, but whoever is watching me had better be in for some fucking trouble. And the doodle, I don't know what that means, it almost looks like a weird eye. I am not so much scared as angry, someone has decided to mess with me and I am going to find out why and who.

[kirosilence-blog]

Future Trips and Family Dinners

Met up with my family for dinner tonight, my uncle was in town so we all went to some steakhouse outside of town. It was nice to catch up but the feeling of unease remained unchanged. I caught myself looking over my shoulders and examining the other booths and tables.

Despite this a few of my friends and I plan to go back to the Barn, just outside of town. We're setting up a date and when we have one I will post more info. We're bringing more then one camera to document (In case mine goes on the fritz again) and we will upload it to youtube for those of you who enjoy creepy locals like that. I asked Sam today about how she has been feeling since the Barn trip and she gave me an odd look. This confirms that the unease and paranoia is all in my damn head. I need to relax and I guess that's why I am posting to the silent response of the internet. We're scouting out a few other locations around the city, another friend of mine, Conor, is interested in joining us for these shoots, and the two of us plan to make it a vblog on Youtube. I'll post that up here when it gets going, which should be soon. All in all this week has been interesting, but that means Karma has got me in the cards next week. Fingers crossed.

[kirosilence-blog]

Time Off

Time for a few days to myself, after this week I need it. Break-ins and haunted Barns in the same damn week, and I can't shake the feeling that I am being watched. Hunkered down at my desk with some Minecraft should take my mind off this week. I hope I can actually get some sleep, instead of being to busy checking my closets and behind shower curtains expecting some deranged intruder to be there. I swear last night I saw something move in the dark, something.. tall, most likely a paranoia and adrenalin fueled twitch though.

[kirosilence-blog]

Can't Sleep

Back to terrible sleeping, I couldn't get more then an hour last night. I don't really feel safe in my own home after the incident with my computer. What is really driving my brain to do backflips is "Why?". Why would someone come to my house, while I am gone, and delete a bunch of video files from my computer? I checked around and nothing seemed to be stolen, and beyond my computer there was no real signs of entry. Work today is going to be awkward, I don't want to leave my house in case the mysterious intruder returns to uninstall my copy of Starcraft 2, or load my pictures into MS paint and draw on them or something ridiculous like that. But responsibility calls, and I must answer, for the ravenous predator of Rent is always a step behind

[kirosilence-blog]

Something to Worry About

Got home from the local hobby store after meeting up with some friends to find my computer on, and all of my footage from the barn trip deleted. The folders were open and empty. All of the footage is gone, thankfully I still have it on my camera. (I hadn't gotten around to deleting it yet)

The thing that really worries me, is my computer is password locked and I had left it off. To my knowledge, there is nobody else with the password. Not even my family can access my PC without my knowledge, yet someone walked in, unlocked it, and deleted everything from my HDD.

Ruined a perfectly good day.

[kirosilence-blog]

Grey Skies

It's the first cold day of September, winter is coming up which I hate. Canadian winters have a reputation for a reason. Means we're about to be up to our knees in snow and it'll be rather hard to go out and have fun. I wanted to catch that barn again before the snow starts to fly and get a look inside.

Got a few good nights of sleep, last night was particularly peaceful and I woke up pretty refreshed and (Despite the grey skies) cheerful. I apologized to my friends about my comments last night. They were understanding, though I still feel ashamed. I cannot wait until I can start calming down, only a few months away from licensing and I'll be able to take some real personal time. Maybe I will take a vacation. Vegas baby! The 21st birthday present, just two years late.

[kirosilence-blog]

Spammed.

Arrive home from an uneventful evening at work to learn the hard way to be a bit more careful how I tag my posts. This just lends to my headache, the stress from my coming classes and licensing (I am studying to enter Real Estate) are putting me on edge enough as it is. I snapped on a friend this evening over dinner, over something completely innocuous. It's not like me, and I don't quite like it. I just need some way to relax. "Pour your feelings onto the page so they can't hurt anyone anymore."