love and be loved

Kirsten Phillips. Married to Jennifer Phillips. School Counselor. My office is an open and positive space and students are welcome to send me an email to set up an appointment. var sc_project=11247431; var sc_invisible=1; var sc_security="b79b89db"; var scJsHost = (("https:" == document.location.protocol) ? "https://secure." : "http://www."); document.write("");

[kirsten-phillips]

The Rockstars

Kirsten flipped through the paperwork on the desk in front of her. They were introducing a new model of treatment at work, and she needed to have the manual in front of her memorized by the end of the week. She ran her fingers through her hair and let out a soft sigh. She loved her job, and she loved that the powers that be were always moving forward to provide better care for the clients, but taking her work home was not something she loved. Especially when Jen and the girls were in the living room, snuggled on the couch and watching a disney movie. She could hear soft giggles and chants from the living room - the girls were obsessed with Moana these days, and she knew they had somehow conned the brunette into watching it for what was probably the 7th time this week.

“Mumma, we are having a concert and we would like you to come.” Sutton peeked her head into the office. Kirsten smiled, closing the manual. She had already missed the movie, and she wasn’t about to give up anymore of her night. The girls would only be this young - five and three - once. “Alright, I’m coming,” She spoke, reaching out to hold her oldest daughter’s hand. “What are you playing for me tonight?” She asked. “It’s a surprise!” She giggled, leading her mother into the living room.

The TV was on mute - credits for Moana playing the background. All the couch cushions and pillows were on the floor. Jen was sitting on one of the cushions, the guitar resting in her lap. Arlo, their youngest, was on another cushion right next to her, a toy xylophone sitting in front of her. Sutton ran over to the last cushion, taking a seat before picking up the harmonica beside her. 

“Are you ready?” Sutton asked, looking at her mother and sister. “We are the Trixxie Rockstars...” Kirsten’s mouth fell open, and she shot her life a glare. As if she had convinced their children to name their make believe band after a silly stage name from the beginning of their relationship. “1, 2, 3, 4!” Sutton yelled, counting every in. Arlo began to bang loudly on the xylophone, and Sutton began to play random sounds from the harmonica. The only person who was remotely playing anything that resembled a song was the brunette, but the blonde put her hand to her chest, a wave of happiness settling over her. Although the three instruments may not go together, she couldn’t remember the last time she had heard anything so beautiful. Her girls. Her beautiful, sweet, loving, and happy three girls. 

When the sounds ended, Kirsten clapped and cheered. Sitting on the ground, she pulled her daughters into her arm. She smiled, leaning towards her wife to catch her lips in a quick kiss. “Thanks for keeping them entertained tonight.” She smiled, kissing both her daughters on the top of the head. 

“So what about an encore?” 

[imfiercenfeelingmighty]

R&I 6x16: Maura Isles being a sick burrito ~(>_<~)

[norman-bates]

#sasha being her gorgeous self on shameless (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

[kirsten-phillips]

they didn’t have you where i came from

Kirsten dropped her keys on the kitchen table. The clock on the stove flashed 7:07pm. She had been working the afternoon shifts lately - she didn’t mind them so much in the summer when it took the moon longer to catch the sun, but both girls were sick with the summer flu and Jen had spent the entire day caring for them. The blonde knew even on the best of days, trying to hold down the fort with a two and five year old was no easy feat.  Kirsten slipped her heels off and made her way up the stairs of their home, slowly untucking her shirt from the skirt she was wearing. She peeked her head into both girls rooms, not surprised to find that neither Sutton or Arlo were in their beds. When the girls were sick, all they wanted was to be snuggled up to her or Jen in the big bed. Kirsten unbuttoned her shirt, slipping it off her arms as she stepped inside the bedroom.  Arlo was curled into Jen’s front, head tucked underneath her chin. Sutton was sleeping behind the brunette, one hand clenched around the material of Jen’s shirt. Somehow, the brunette was managing to hold onto both girls. Kirsten couldn’t help the smile that tugged on the corner of her lips. She herself had been out last week with the flu, and although it had been making its way through the family, Jen had yet to get sick. “No time for Mama to be sick,” she had told her girls.  Kirsten slipped out of her skirt, folding it and her blouse over the chair in their bedroom. She pulled open Jen’s drawers, slipping into an old t-shirt and a pair of shorts. She climbed into the bed behind Sutton, brushing the young girls hair out of her face, feeling for a temperature. “Oh my sweet sick girl,” she whispered, reaching across to slowly rub the back of her hand against the brunettes upper arm. Her skin felt cool and clammy, and the blonde quickly felt the brunettes forehead. 

Lacing her fingers with the brunettes, she smiled softly as Jen peeked an eye open. “I think you’ve got the flu, sweetheart.” She mused. 

[benimadimsanat]

[kirsten-phillips]

the city lights

Hot. That was the only way Kirsten could describe the cabin. Hot. Everything was hot – the air was hot, the bed was hot, the water coming out of the faucet in the master bathroom was hot. Even without central air, Jen still somehow loved the cabin. Kirsten could love the cabin too, but not when it was the hottest summer Florida had seen in years. The pair had been laying on top of the blankets in their bed, the air sticky and humid even at two in the morning. Although they hadn’t been touching, Kirsten had grown annoyed at how close the brunette had been to her; she could feel her girlfriend’s body heat emanating from where she lay. Fed up, she had gotten out of the bed, threw on some clothes, and stormed out to the car with an explanation she would be back after a drive in the air conditioned car.

After a half hour, with the air condition on the highest setting, she had finally started to come down. She knew how important that cabin was to Jennifer, and the blonde appreciated it was a place her girlfriend was willing to share with her. And she didn’t entirely hate it – some of her favourite memories with the brunette happened at the cabin (or the drive up to the cabin). Kirsten just didn’t do well with humidity.

It was just after three am when she pulled back into the gravel driveway. Grabbing the bag from the 24 mini mart off the passenger seat, she stepped outside into the stifling heat of the Florida night. She quickly made her way inside, locking the door behind her. She wasn’t sure what was hotter – inside or out. But at least inside the cabin she had a gorgeous brunette waiting for her in bed.

She pushed the door to their bedroom open and stepped inside. It didn’t look like the brunette had moved at all since she had stormed out almost an hour ago, except to discard the bra she had previously been wearing. She quickly untied the bag in her hand, grabbing an ice cube before she tossed it at her girlfriend. It landed on Jen’s stomach, and Kirsten chuckled as she watched the brunette take a sharp breath inwards and swat the cube off her stomach.

Kirsten held the bag of ice up in the air, offering a small seductive smile as she let it drop to the ground. A few ice cubes fell out, but she paid no attention to them. Instead, she made her way over to the bed, grabbing the pillows and tossing them on the ground near the ice. Afterwards, she grabbed the decorative pillows (the one she had convinced the brunette to buy) and threw them into the mix.

“Get onto the floor,” She spoke, winking at Jen. “I’ll be right back.” She hurried off to the bathroom, leaving the door slightly ajar as she stripped out of her clothes. She left them in a pile on the floor, before making her way back out to where she hoped the brunette would be waiting for her. She smiled as she watched Jennifer rearranging a few pillows on the floor to get comfortable.

When she was sure the brunette was comfortable, she placed a knee on either side of her hips, effectively straddling her girlfriend. “I’m sorry I was such a bitch,” She leaned down and whispered in the brunette’s ear, catching it with her teeth and biting down gently. She soothed the mark with her tongue. Her lips traced a path to her girlfriends, capturing them in a heated kiss. “I love you,” She whispered, leaning up and reaching for an ice cube from the bag. Popping it into her mouth, she moved it around with her tongue, small drops of cold water dripping down her chin before landing on Jen’s chest. Holding the cube between her teeth, she leaned down, letting it drag along her girlfriend’s collarbone. She smirked, keeping the ice cube firmly between her teeth as she felt Jen shiver beneath her, goosebumps rising on her skin. Next, she trailed the cube between the brunette’s breasts, letting it melt into a small pool of water. Locking eyes with Jen, she stuck out her tongue to clean up the mess she had made. “Cool yet?” She husked, reaching for another ice cube and popping it into her mouth. She held it there for a minute, letting it get smaller as her mouth grew colder. Leaning back down, she captured a nipple in her mouth, making sure the ice cube made contact. She felt the brunette squirming beneath her, and she moved over to the other breast, continuing her same assault. After both the brunette’s nipples had hardened beneath her touch, she took the ice cube between her teeth again, drawing a wet line down to Jen’s belly button. When it had completely melted in her mouth, she dipped her cool tongue into the brunette’s belly button.

“So gorgeous,” She moaned, moving so that she was resting between Jen’s legs. She reached up, hooking her fingers into the brunette’s underwear and pulling them quickly down her leg. Tossing them onto the bed, she reached for another ice cube, popping it into her mouth. This time, she let it melt completely before her tongue snaked out, tracing a cool pattern in the crevice where Jen’s leg began. She quickly repeated the action on the other leg. “Just making sure you don’t get heat stroke, babe.” She murmured, nipping and biting gently on the skin there. She reached for more ice, this time keeping it in her hand. She ran the cube between her girlfriend’s folds, applying more pressure as she held the cube against Jen’s clit. She felt the brunette’s hips buck up against the action, and she quickly pressed them back down. “You’re not getting too cold now, are you sweetheart?” She teased. “Let me see if I can help,” She whispered. She dipped her tongue between Jen’s folds, collecting the all the water that had melted from the cube. Her tongue dipped inside, and she use her warm fingers to rub quick circles over the brunette’s clit. “Come for me,” She breathed, continuing her ministrations. As she felt her girlfriend come, she quickly moved to suck Jen’s clit into her mouth and slip two fingers inside. She loved bringing Jen over the edge with her tongue, but nothing compared to feeling her come around her fingers, pulling them in deeper with each convulsion.

When she was sure her girlfriend had come down and recovered from her high, she placed a few quick kisses to her inner thighs and stomach, slowly pulling her fingers out. Moving her way back up to lay beside the brunette, she captured her lips in a passionate kiss. “Thank god for 24 hour mini marts that sell ice,” She giggled, finding the brunettes hand and linking their fingers together.

Maybe the cabin wasn’t so bad after all.

[kirsten-phillips]

Out of the Woods

Kirsten was beyond exhausted. She sat in the chair, opposite the king sized bed that she shared with her wife and studied her movements as she slept. She let her hand hover over her wife’s chest, looking for indication that the brunette was still breathing. The sun had already started to rise on their neighborhood, and she knew that it would only be another half hour before Sutton was up. It also meant that her mother, Caroline, would be arriving within the hour to help out with the morning routine. Jennifer had finally come home from the hospital after an almost two month stay. Kirsten was pretty sure she hadn’t gotten any sleep herself since Jen stepped into the house in the early evening three days ago. Every time she closed her eyes she could hear the sound of impact. One second Jen was talking, and then she wasn’t. She couldn’t remember how long she had screamed her wife’s name into the phone. Broken bones, collapsed lungs, skull fracture, lacerations so deep bone was visible. And the blonde prayed to a God she didn’t believe in to keep the brunette alive. Jen stayed in the ICU for over a week, and Kirsten didn’t leave her side. When she was finally stable and ready to be moved to a different floor, Caroline had convinced her daughter it was time she went home; saw her kids, took a shower, and had a proper sleep in her own bed. She slept for two days. But now, Jen was home even though her recovery was far from over. And without a team of highly skilled nurses, doctors, occupational- and physiotherapists, Kirsten felt responsible for it all. And so, she sacrificed her sleep to make sure the brunette slept comfortably, and to make sure she was still breathing. A soft hand on her shoulder brought her out of a sleep she didn’t realize she had fallen into. “What?” She yelled, quickly sitting up in the chair to make sure the brunette was alright. “Jen?” She called, and the hand on her shoulder gripped her tighter. “Sweetheart, she’s in the shower. She is okay,” Caroline spoke softly. “I’ve taken Sutton to school, and Arlo to daycare. Jen felt confident enough to shower on her own. It’s important that you get your sleep. I know that you’ve been sitting in this chair since she got home, watching her like a hawk. She isn’t a plate. She isn’t going to break. You’ve got to give her room to breathe and you have got to take care of yourself, sweetie. You’ve got two little girls who depend on you, and a wife who still needs some help.” She whispered, stroking her daughter’s hair. “Now, I want you to crawl into this bed and get a proper sleep.” ~*~ Kirsten leaned against the doorframe of her bedroom. After a particularly challenging physio appointment, Jennifer had retreated to their bedroom. “My mom’s picking up the girls for us. Said something about taking them out for ice cream. Sounds like classic Caroline to get them all hopped up on sugar and then return them to us just before dinner,” She laughed, making her over to where her wife laid in their bed. When she got no response from the brunette, she sat down on the edge of the bed, resting her hand on Jen’s leg. “You heard what Lindsay said today at your appointment, didn’t you? She knows that you’re sore and hurting, but it’s important that you’re still getting up and moving and doing the things you enjoy. You have to listen to her, she's your physiotherapist. She knows what's best.” Kirsten smiled, rubbing soft circles on the brunette’s skin. “The things I enjoy? Like playing a game of baseball or basketball? Chasing the girls in the backyard? Riding our bikes? Fucking you? Sounds like the list of things I enjoy is synonymous with things I’m not allowed to do.” Kirsten let out a sigh. Jen had been home for just over two weeks, but her attitude had grown increasingly worse over the past couple of days. “You don’t need to sound so crass.” “Whatever.” The brunette mumbled. “Don’t think that I don’t know that you’ve been fucking yourself in the shower for the past few days.” A deep crimson red flushed the blonde’s cheek. She wasn’t aware that her wife knew what she had been doing in the shower. A part of her felt guilty; like she was betraying her wife in some way. But the other part of her knew that masturbation was just a healthy form of release that many adults engaged in. Besides, she hadn’t had much luck actually getting herself off. “Is that why you’ve been such a treat these past few days?” Kirsten asked sarcastically, narrowing her eyes as she stared at her wife. When the brunette made no indication she had an answer for the blonde’s question, Kirsten stood up and pulled her shirt over her head. Reaching behind her back she unhooked her bra with one hand before letting it fall to the floor. “What are you doing?” The brunette asked her, rolling over onto her back. “Just because you can’t engage, doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy.” The blonde smirked, stepping out of her pants. She hooked her fingers in the waistband of her underwear, pulling them down slowly before she tossed them at her wife. “I may have indulged myself a few times in the shower,” she moaned, rolling a nipple between her fingers, “but, it appears I might need a hand.” She knew the double entendre wouldn’t be lost on her wife. As she continued to pinch and pull on her nipples, the other hand snaked down her body, a single digit slipping between her folds. A soft gasp escaped her lips and she widened her stance a little bit, making sure her wife had a perfect view. Her eyes closed and her head tipped back slightly as she pushed two fingers inside of herself. Keeping her fingers still, she took a moment to catch her breath before she began to slowly move inside herself. “Mmm Jen…” She moaned, “When I’m in the shower, I stand exactly like this. First, I close my eyes and I picture you leaning down to capture my nipple with your mouth. You suck it gently, letting your tongue move over the bud before switching to the other one. You press soft kisses down my stomach as the water runs down against us. And then, I picture you down on your knees and you’re looking up at me with those perfect brown eyes. At that point, I’m already so wet.” She groaned, pressing her palm down against her clit as she continues to thrust her fingers inside of herself. “When I fuck myself, I imagine your fingers inside of me, your mouth on my clit, and oh…god.” She moaned, her knees beginning to quiver. “That fucking tongue of yours,” She choked out, pressing down harder against her clit. “But as much as I try, I know it’s not you. I open my eyes and I can’t come.” Kirsten sighed, pinching her nipple harder. “I need to come.” Her voice was hoarse, and she could feel her orgasm about to take over. “I need to come all over that pretty face of yours.” Opening her eyes, she locked her gaze with her wife. “I’m…coming. Fuck, Jen…Fuck.” She cried, stilling the movements of her fingers as her inner muscles spasmed around them. Closing her eyes, she tried to steady her breathing as she came down from her high; her legs felt like Jell-O. She moaned slightly as she pulled her fingers out, wiping them on her inner thigh as she slowly made her way over to the bed. Her legs were still quivering as she cuddled up to her wife. “I love you, and I’m sorry if me masturbating in the shower hurt your feelings.” She whispered, pressing a soft kiss to the brunette’s lips. “I want you to always feel a part of my sexual life, even if right now we can’t do things that we want to do, okay?” She captured the brunette’s lips with hers again, letting the kiss linger for a few more moments. “And Jen,” She whispered, resting her forehead against her wife’s. “I love you so much.”

[kirsten-phillips]

i was born in a thunderstorm

Kristen lay on her stomach, facing her wife as the brunette slept soundly beside her. She wanted to reach out, rest her hand against Jen’s stomach; ‘just feeling for your breathing,’ she would tell her. But the clock flashed 3:17am and the night was still cloaking the sky in darkness. She settled for letting her hand hover in the air, just above Jen’s stomach, tracing the dips and contours of bones and muscles and breasts. She could do this with her eyes closed; this is the body she has come to know and fall in love with over the past four years. She knows all the dips and cracks and crooks; her lips have loved every scar and every freckle into the early hours of the morning. This body is her home.

She knows her own body too; through the trauma of her childhood, to scraped knees and broken bones, the first time she made love to the brunette during a bristol fall rainstorm, to carrying her and jen’s two beautiful children. She knows this body. This body is her home.

She pulls her hand back towards her, tracing the contour of her collarbone, fingers walking down her sternum. She presses her hand into her breast, lingering for a moment before curling her fingers into her palm. Arlo, their youngest, had finished breastfeed a few weeks prior.

She shifts closer to her wife, pressing a soft kiss to where her neck meets her jaw, letting her lips linger for just a moment. Her hand reaches underneath the blanket, slipping into the brunettes underwear. When she hears her wife whisper her name, she silences the sound with a kiss to the lips; murmurs a soft, ‘please, jen,’ and continues when she feels the brunette nod against her shoulder. 

She slows her movements as the brunette comes down from her high. Her lips find Jen’s in the darkness, and for a brief moment she lets herself breakdown. Because it’s the wee hours of the morning and she doesn’t have to be Kirsten Phillips, the counsellor. She doesn’t have to be Kirsten Phillips, mom of two girls under five. She doesn’t have to fall into the silhouette of the girl who has got it all together. 

“I thought it was a blocked milk duct, you know, from weaning Arlo off breastfeeding. But it’s been there too long so I went to the doctor and she was concerned. They took a sample of cells, and it’s going to be another two days before I hear anything. I should have known. I should have known something was off.”  

‘I should have known.’ She thinks it inside her head this time. She knows this body. It is supposed to be her home. 

[kirsten-phillips]

oh simple thing, where have you gone?

The sun was just beginning to peek over the buildings of San Francisco when Kirsten pulled back into her driveway. She ran the engine of her car for a few minutes as she finished sending off a text to her secretary at work. She had already called in and left a message that she wouldn’t be able to make it into work today due to a family emergency, but wanted to give her secretary a heads up before she got into the office. She turned off the car, and rested her head on the steering wheel, taking in a deep breath. How did they end up in this situation? Jen and her had both had the safe sex talk with Sutton – more than once. And just a few months ago, the oldest daughter had promised them she wasn’t having sex with Matt. But here she was. She looked at her watch. It was just after 6 in the morning. She had a few hours before Jen would touch down at LAX; a few hours to figure out a game plan. But first things first – she grabbed the pregnancy test off the passenger seat, stepped out of the car, and headed through the garage door into the house.

Sutton was sitting at the kitchen table absently spinning a spoon in a mug of coffee.

“You shouldn’t be drinking coffee…you know…just in case.” Kirsten spoke softly. She was furious at Sutton for being so careless, but she knew that her daughter needed her more now than ever. In the end, Sutton had trusted her – had come to her about this. And she had to respect that. Now wasn’t the time to get angry and scream and yell. “I got the test.” She held up the bag, before setting it on the table in front of the younger blonde. “The sooner you take it, the better.”

Sutton grabbed the bag off the table and nervously looked at her mother. She could feel her face beginning to crumple. She didn’t want to cry in front of her mother – she knew that this was all her fault. Well, equal fault with Matt.

“Sutton?” Kirsten spoke quietly, careful not to startle her.

The tears poured from Sutton’s eyes, and Kirsten immediately threw her arms around her daughter. She held her close, pressing soft kisses to blonde hair as her own tears streamed down her cheeks. She didn’t know what she was going to do if Sutton’s test came back positive, but she knew that as a family they would have to figure it out.

“It’s okay, peanut. It’s okay. We’re going to figure everything out. You, your mama, and me. We’ll get through this, no matter what the outcome.” She whispered, pulling back from her daughter. She held Sutton’s face in her hands before locking eyes with the young blonde. “Do you hear me? No matter what happens. We are here for you.” She spoke, pressing a kiss to her daughter’s forehead.

“But Mom…” Sutton spoke, but the older blonde cut her off.

“Don’t worry about your mom. Leave that to me.” She spoke, tucking Sutton’s hair behind her ears. “She’s hot tempered, but she loves you, and wants what is best for you too. She is still going to love you, no matter what.” She spoke. “She might want to kill Matt, but we won’t let that happen.” She smiled, trying to lighten the mood.

Sutton let out a small laugh, and wiped a few stray tears with the back of her hand.

“Do you want me to come upstairs with you?” Kirsten asked. She desperately wanted her daughter to say yes; desperately wanted to be there for the moment, but she wasn’t going to push.

“Can you just wait here?” Sutton asked, swallowing the lump in her throat. She was grateful to have the support, but she knew that it would be too nerve-wracking for her mother to be with her.

Kirsten nodded her head, and pressed a final kiss to her daughter’s cheek. “I’ll be right here waiting for you. I love you, peanut. No matter what happens.”

Kirsten sat down at the kitchen table. She was exhausted, but her nerves wouldn’t let her body relax. She closed her eyes, praying to a God she didn’t necessarily believe in for the test to be negative. Sutton was only 15 – she had her whole life ahead of her and this decision was not easy for anyone, let alone a teenager. Parent? Adoption? Abortion? Sutton had her whole life in front of her – and any decision could throw it upside down. And Jen and herself were way too young to become grandparents already. Grandma Kirsten? Grandma Jen?

The soft creak of the stairs pulled Kirsten out of her mind and she turned her attention to the stairs. Biting her lip nervously, she waited for Sutton to come into the kitchen.

She held the test up for her mom, letting out a big breath. “It’s negative.”

[fuckyeahmauracaps]

[fuckyeahmauracaps]

[kirsten-phillips]

to build a home

Sutton sat on the floor at the end of her bed, knees pulled up to her chest. Her mom, Jennifer, had been in Washington D.C. with Arlo on their grade eight field trip but was due back later in the afternoon. She turned her head; the clock on her bedside table flashed 5:19am and she knew her mama, Kirsten, would still be asleep in her bed. She had been working afternoon shifts at the rehab center. Suttons stomach gurgled and she quickly put her hands over it. The stomach flu had been flying around recently, and Jennifer was supposed to take her to see the doctor today after her plane landed. Sutton wasn’t so sure it was the stomach flu that was making her sick.

She stood up and slowly made her way to her parents’ bedroom. The door was slightly cracked, and she stepped inside, making her way over to where her mama was sleeping. Pulling back the covers, she slipped into the bed, laying so her back was facing the blond. Kirsten stirred slightly and smiled when she realized that her oldest daughter had crawled in beside her; she couldn’t remember the last time they had early morning snuggles. Wrapping an arm around Sutton, Kirsten pulled her in close, pressing a kiss to the back of her daughter’s head. “Morning, beautiful.” She whispered, closing her eyes again.

Sutton’s eyes fluttered closed, and she tried to take in a deep breath. “I need to tell you something.” Her heart was pounding in her chest; she could hear the blood rushing in her ears – wondered if her mother could hear it too.

“What’s up, peanut?” She asked, moving to rest her chin on her daughter’s shoulder. “Sutton,” She spoke, after an extended period of silence. “Is everything okay?”

“Uh,” She spoke, her voice cracking and trailing off. “I need you to call in sick to work.” She swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat. All she had to do was say the words. She always had felt so grateful that she had been close with both of her parents – that she could share with them absolutely anything. Even when her Mama had caught Matt buying condoms a few months prior, they were able to have a mature, adult conversation about the situation. She had reassured them that she was fifteen and wasn’t ready to have sex; that Matt was probably only buying them to get his friends to lay off him for not having sex. It had been the truth at the time.

“I can’t, baby, you know that. Your mom’s plane lands just after noon and she’ll be home by two – three at the latest. She knows she has to take you to see Dr. Werner.” Kirsten spoke, closing her eyes again.

Sutton fidgeted with the material of the sheets in her fingers. The weight on her chest was unbearable. “I need you to take me to the doctor, not mom.” She whispered, the words barely audible.

Kirsten opened her eyes and propped her head up with her hand. “Sweetheart, look at me.” She spoke, gently pulling on her daughter’s shoulder to get her to turn around. “What’s going on? Why can’t mom take you to the doctor?”

Sutton took in a deep breath and closed her eyes. The silencing was deafening. Heart pounding in her chest, she rolled over to face her mother. “I…” She swallowed the lump in her throat – now or never. “I think I’m pregnant.”

[kirsten-phillips]

summer rain

Kirsten’s eyes fluttered open as she felt a small hand ball the thin material of her tank top. Sutton wasn’t feeling well and had been running a mild fever all day; the blonde had finally been able to coax her into the king sized bed for a nap, while her wife and 18-month-old daughter ate supper downstairs. Kirsten lightly brushed Sutton’s hair from her face, placing the back of her hand on her daughters forehead to feel for a temperature. She felt slightly cooler than earlier, and the blonde pulled the thin sheet up over her. 

Kirsten could hear the faint giggles of their youngest, Arlo, and she slowly extracted her body from Sutton’s grasp, careful not to wake her. The clock flashed 8:47pm and she hadn’t realized that she had been sleeping for so long. Slipping out of the bed, she padded her way across to the glass door that led to their balcony; Arlo, clad in her diaper, jumping around in the summer rain, Jen following closely behind. Kirsten stayed back, careful not to interrupt the moment by making her presence known as she watched two of her favourite people interact. Jen handed their daughter a tiny blue bucket, showing her how to hold it up to collect all the drops of rain. Holding the bucket in one hand, she gripped three of her mothers fingers with the other before jumping into the tiny puddles that had formed in various areas of the wooden deck. Squealing with delight, she tipped her head up, blinking as the water stuck to her eyelashes.

As the rain got heavier, the pair retreated for cover under the small covered portion of the balcony, sticking out their toes every so often to catch a little bit more water. Kirsten slid the glass door open, pressing a soft kiss to her wife’s shoulder before bending down to pick up Arlo, not caring that her clothes were getting wet. “I’m not sure who enjoyed playing in the summer storm more; you or Arlo,” She laughed, capturing the brunettes lips with her own. 

Until the next summer storm.

[wvsashafan-deactivated20160828]

Sasha Alexander in Shameless

[kirsten-phillips]

we'll take a cup of kindness yet, for auld lang syne.

Kirsten rolled onto her side to face her wife, molding her body to the brunettes. She pressed a soft kiss to her chest, pulling the blankets up around them. “I can hear the girls downstairs,” She mused, sitting up slightly in bed to catch a glance at the clock on her wife’s bedside table. “5:30. That’s gotta be a record early for them,” She groaned slightly. Jennifer and herself had finished wrapping presents and playing Santa for their kids only a few hours earlier. “Can you believe there was a time when Christmas meant staying up late, drinking champagne and having really, really, wild and incredibly hot sex.” She laughed, pressing a soft kiss to Jennifer’s lips. “It’s crazy what changes when you have a five-year-old and a two-year-old.” She mused, twisting the ends of the brunettes hair in her fingers. “As much as I love our Christmas routine now-a-days, I do miss that Christmas in Bristol when I wore the sexy Mrs. Clause lingerie and tied you to the bed,” She whispered, letting out a small laugh.

“Mommy, Santa came.” Sutton exclaimed, slipping into her parents bedroom, her younger sister hot on her heels. Jennifer and Kirsten sat up in bed, and the blonde reached over to pick up their youngest, Arlo, and sit her on the bed with her stocking. She leaned against the headboard, putting the toddler between her legs before helping the youngster pull small wrapped parcels out of her stocking. 

“What did he bring you?” She asked, reaching forward to tuck a golden lock behind Sutton’s ears. Although wide awake, the blonde could tell that their oldest was exhausted, but the excitement of Santa had brought her out of bed hours earlier than usual. And like usual, Arlo had followed her big sisters lead. 

“I got princess polish,” Sutton exclaimed, a huge grin on her face as she held the polish up to show her parents; a purchase the brunette thought was a bit too mature for a five year old, but the blonde has persisted, and as usual, got her way. “It’s pink and sparkly! Maybe you’ll have to paint Momma’s toes later.” The blonde laughed, nudging her wife with her elbow. “Told you she’d love it,” She mouthed to her wife, running her fingers through Arlo’s fine blonde locks as the toddler ripped open a package of Frozen hair clips. 

A half an hour later, the stockings were completely empty. Various bits of wrapping paper were scattered throughout the king sized bed and both girls were fascinated by the new items they had just opened. “Why don’t you girls go downstairs and wait for Mommy and Momma in the living room.” She smiled, helping Arlo off the bed. “Sutton, help your sister on the stairs please!” She called out after they both ran towards the stairs. 

“I know that we said no gifts for each other this year, and for the most part I listened.” She smiled, reaching into her bedside table to pull out a small object with just a bow on it “And before you starting losing it, it wasn’t even that expensive, and it was something that I needed to buy for myself anyways, so it’s really just second hand for you. And I didn’t even wrap it, so it’s really not a gift at all,” She smiled, giving the pregnancy test to Jen. 

“I took it about a week ago and it was positive. I went to the doctors and got the blood work done to confirm.” She smiled, biting her lip nervously. A few tears of happiness prickled at her eyes.

“We’re having a baby.” 

[wvsashafan-deactivated20160828]

Happy Maura Monday!

[kirsten-phillips]

growing up is never easy

Kirsten sat in bed; propped up against the pillows resting on the bed she shared with her wife. She drummed her fingers together, turning her attention to the brunette beside her; her glasses had slipped down her nose, eyes completely focused into the book that she was reading. She looked up, pictures of their children covered every available space in her room. She couldn’t believe their oldest, Sutton, was almost 16. She shook her head and let out a sigh, turning her attention back to her wife.

“So, I wasn’t sure if I was going to tell you or not, but we always tell each other everything. That’s our policy, and always has been, but you can’t get mad. You don’t get to be mad about this.” She rambled, waving her hands in the air. She rolled her eyes as a soft “hmm” came from her wifes lips and the blonde knew she wasn’t listening to a single thing she was saying.

“I saw Matt buying condoms today. I saw Matt buying condoms today at the grocery store. Where I buy our groceries.” She blurted out. “I didn’t ask Sutton about it yet, but I assume that he was buying them for her. Him. Them.” She spoke, running her hands through her hair. Her stomached dropped at the thought. Their fifteen year old daughter had only been dating this boy for several months. And while her and Jennifer had never been the kind of parents to raise their children to be ashamed of their bodies or sex, she didn’t expect that they would need to have the sex talk with Sutton just yet. “Do you think they’re having sex? Should we have talked to her sooner? Why didn’t she come to one of us? Does she think because we’re gay we don’t know about sex?” She asked, speaking every single thought out loud that came to her mind. 

She reached for Jennifer’s hand, lacing their fingers together before giving it a light squeeze. “I just wanted her to wait, you know?” She spoke softly, her voice cracking a bit as the tears pooled in her eyes. “I just don’t want anything to happen to her. I don’t want her to get hurt, or turn hard or cynical or be degraded or feel like this is something she owes to boys, you know.” She shrugged her shoulders, leaning her body into Jens. “I knew we couldn’t protect her from everything for forever, but this seems too soon.” She sighed, listening to the comforting words her wife was whispering in her ear. Tomorrow, they would talk to their daughter together.