＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ holiday/winter pick-up lines meme
pulled from various online lists, some nsfw, some awkward, some cheesy. feel free to change pronouns or reverse as you see fit.
“shouldn’t you be on top of my tree, angel?”
“santa said you wished for me. good choice.”
“are you looking for a tree topper? because i’ve been told i’m a star on top.”
“i must be a snowflake because i’ve fallen for you.”
“i’ve checked twice and i’m sure you’re on my naughty list.”
“i have the stamina of the jolly, round man. i can go all night long.”
“let’s pretend to be presents and get laid under the tree.”
“the milk and cookies at my place taste great for breakfast.”
“are you a snowball? i bet i could make you melt in my hands.”
“class might be cancelled but that ass of yours don’t quit.”
“i could work with the elves in the ribbon-tying department… i am a very knotty girl.”
“is that a candy cane in your pocket or are you happy to see me?”
“that’s not a candy cane in my pocket i’m just happy to see you.”
“i didn’t think i was a snowman but you just made my heart melt.”
“i usually warm my hands by the fireplace, but you are way hotter. can you hold them for a minute?”
“are you tinsel? because i want you all over my tree.”
“brrrrrrrrrrrr-ing some takeout over to my place tonight and we can watch a bad movie.”
“let’s be naughty this year and save santa the trip.”
“do you want to see my snowballs?”
“if i was the grinch, i wouldn’t steal christmas, i would steal you.”
“black ice isn’t the only thing that brings me to my knees.”
“come sit on my lap, i’ve got a special gift for you.”
“wanna sit on the north pole tonight?”
“nice earmuffs. maybe my roommate can borrow them when we’re getting dirty tonight.”
“santa’s lap isn’t the only place where wishes come true.”
“do you like the song jingle bells? because we could go all the way.”
“want to meet santa’s little helper?”
“i don’t care if i’m on your naughty or nice list, i’d rather be on your to-do list.”
“if you come to my house on black friday all clothes are 100% off.”
“did you hear the weather report? i think we can expect a few more inches tonight.”
“are you looking to get fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-laid?”
“if you were a tree you would be an evergreen because i bet you look this good all year round.”
“we can lower your heating bill tonight because you won’t be getting cold.”
“are you main street? because i hope you get plowed in a timely manner tonight.”
“can i get a picture of you so i can show santa exactly what i want for christmas?”
“let me help you out of that ugly sweater.”
“did you ask santa for a rhino this christmas? because it looks like you could use something really horny.”
“what do you say we make this a not so silent night?”
“is your name kwanzaa? because i would celebrate you for a week.”
“the only package i want this christmas is yours.”
“i lost my scarf, can i wrap you around me instead?”
“the tree isn’t the only thing that is going to have an angel on top of it tonight.”
“good tidings aren’t the only thing i can give you.”
“i might be a grinch, but that means i have something that can grow three sizes.”
“i want to fill you up with my holiday spirits.”
“unlike santa, i’ll bring over the toys if you want to get naughty.”
“wanna climb into my warm and fuzzy cloak?”
“i like my christmas stockings held up by garter belts?”
“if a big man puts you in a bag tonight, don’t be alarmed. i told santa i wanted you for christmas.”
“are you rudolph’s red nose? because baby, i would say you glow.”
“call me rudolph because you just sleighed me.”
“you’re not just a gift, you’re the whole package.”
“if your left leg was thanksgiving, and your right leg is christmas, can i come visit you between the holidays?”
“you’re like my menorah’s candles…getting hotter every day.”
“how about i slip down your chimney, at half past midnight?”
“if you jingle my bells i can promise you a white christmas.”
“i know it isn’t christmas but santa’s lap is always open.”
“the stockings are hung and so am i.”
“your stocking isn’t the only thing i’ll be filling up tonight.”
“the pipers aren’t the only ones piping on the 11th day of christmas…”
“unlike santa i come more than once a year.”
“hey girl, wanna hiber-mate?”
“wanna play spin the driedel?… I got a half hour and a room full of candles…”
“you’re so hot you must be the reason we aren’t having a white christmas.”
“i’m like a christmas present, you’ll love waking up to me in the morning.”
“you are the reason santa even has a naughty list.”
“i would definitely let you join in on my reindeer games.”
“wanna check out my mistletoe beltbuckle?”
“i’m looking to get bob-sleighed tonight.”
“ pardon me, but those are some hot laktes!”
“i lost my earmuffs can i use your legs instead?”
“would you come to my place and light my yule log?”
“if kisses were snowflakes i would send you a blizzard.”
“i feel like a christmas tree when you talk to me because you make me light up!”
“do you wanna taste my christmas cookie?”
“can i lick your candy cane?”
“wanna go light my menorah?”
“call me adam sandler because i’m about to give you eight crazy nights.”
“it’s the season of giving so why not give me your number?”
“if you were a reindeer, you’d be cupid, because your friend is looking fine tonight. Can you introduce me?”
“i think we have a lot of chemis-tree.”
“your outfit sleighs me.”
“let’s get out of here and explore the north pole. I’m a rebel without a claus.”
“i’m wearing a lot of layers so it’s going to take me a while to get naked, but you’re welcome to watch.”
“there aren’t any sugarplums dancing through my head, it’s all you.”
izzy806
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andulkaphoto
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blakekathryn
