I saw an emotional regulation resource that was titled as a resource "for men" & I wanted to talk about this kind of gendering a little.
first, obviously I think it is essential that men learn to handle their emotions, because they are people, and it's everyone's responsibility to learn how to self regulate to the best of their ability. and I understand in some contexts it has utility to have emotional regulation resources presented as "for" men specifically, because on a hegemonic level men are expected to outsource managing their emotions to women and children instead of engaging in this work themselves, so general resources about self regulation are likely to be looked over by most men as not relevant or necessary for them.
but. like that is kind of the problem at the same time.
like the whole issue is men thinking they don't need to learn how to handle emotions (identifying them, processing them, expressing them, channeling them usefully, grounding themselves, addressing underlying issues, etc).
and then these kind of half-way measures that position tips as "mental health FOR MEN" "emotional regulation FOR MEN" inevitably ends up cross-pollinating with MRA style analysis where we get things like
"the MALE loneliness epidemic" (as if women do not also experience loneliness and alienation under current conditions), or
"men aren't allowed to cry" (as if women and children aren't berated and patronized for crying all the time & expected to "smile" for men), or
"men have the highest suicide rates" (implying that men are uniquely prone to being actively suicidal, glossing over that women attempt suicide more often)
which all ends up reinforcing this idea that men's emotions are bigger and more serious and urgent than anyone else's, and men need help to manage them, so "society" (women and children) must help them.
which just reproduces the exact social conditions that cause men to not learn how to manage their emotions in the first place.
