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@kitsuragi-phd
Hey Kim, um... I just saw something where a lot of the people I know in Hell are going to be going to the beach soon. Do you think I could just... Head down and spend some time with them? Like, would it be a good idea?
So a vacation, to my understanding?
In that case, I suggest you use your own judgment.
*Dess clicks the button to enter into the Zoom meeting with Kim, they look relaxed and pretty comfortable, thought they do have a blanket over their shoulders and a mug of what looks to be hot chocolate in their hand.
Hey, sorry I'm a little late. I had to wait for my cocoa to get done.
When Dess joins the call, Kim seems to be unexpectedly in the middle of a conversation. He’s mid sentence with whoever is off screen, his expression endeared but a bit annoyed. He hasn’t noticed Dess yet.
- in the dishwasher - thank you, dear, yes. Don’t worry about it.
Are you sure? I can -
You don’t have to do anything, I can handle a single chore.
But don’t you have to go out after work too?
… Yes. But again, I know my limits, I can do it.
Can I at least find another chore to do?
Kim pinches the bridge of his nose, his glasses lifting above his fingers.
Harry, please -
Um... Kim? I um... you need some more time? I can come back in a little bit...
*Dess quickly puts their mug down and freezes a bit, not sure if it's better to leave the call or keep trying to get Kim's attention. One of their hands moves to their mouse, hovering over the disconnect button and ready to type out an apology for butting into the conversation if Kim still doesn't notice.
The moment Dess speaks up the second time, Kim jumps and looks to the computer. In a rush, he leans off camera and wildly gestures for the other person to get out of the room.
The door can be heard closing as Kim returns, now finally alone but sporting a pair of red embarrassed ears.
… Hello, December.
Hey... I'm sorry, I should've just left and sent you a message asking to tell me when you're ready...
I'm guessing that's your husband? He um... seems like a nice guy. Fwehehe...
*Dess seems equally embarrassed. They've never liked walking into the middle of an argument, and something about Harry wanting to be helpful, maybe too helpful, hits Dess a bit hard.
… So you heard some of our conversation. Right.
No, no - it’s my mistake. I’m your therapist, I’m meant to avoid distraction, even when you’re late. What I have done is technically very unethical, and I apologize deeply.
… It was. He is… We’re not here to talk about me, never mind.
I... don't think it's unethical to talk to your husband about stuff. I was late, you thought you had time... I'll send a message before I jump into the call next time. It's not like your life revolves around our sessions, fwahaha!
Yeah, I guess you're right ... I'm ready if you are, doc.
The corner of his mouth twitches, but not at the threat of a smile, but at the threat of a change in routine.
However you would like to, we shall.
Right. So, as always, how have things been since our last session?
*Dess doesn't notice, picking up their cocoa and taking a sip.
It's been okay. I've been trying to be more... relaxed, I guess is the right word? Letting things be what they are and stuff. Talked to a friend of mine, Clara, and my girlfriend Jude last night. Like... totally different conversations.
Clara was talking about putting USB ports and stuff into her, she's a cyborg like me, and Jude and I talked about... well, just stuff. Ceiling textures, frogs, trying to figure out the best way she learns, and then I fell asleep while she sent be pictures of fish.
He seems to finally relax a little as Dess starts talking.
Jude is your other partner, correct? It sounds as though your relationship with her is much less of a worry than your relationship with Emma.
They're both not bad, but... yeah, Jude is a lot more laid back most of the time. She tends to stay in the condo most of the time, she doesn't go out much, and well... She doesn't know a lot of stuff. Like, world stuff I mean. She's curious about things, and she asks a lot of questions, but she's also really out spoken and she'll tell you what's on her mind like... 95% of the time.
She's also just... friendly. Too friendly sometimes, but she's working on it. Em and I really love her a lot.
… Ah. You speak highly of her, it seems.
So has Jude already forgiven you for your… We’ll call it your paintball incident?
Yeah, she was one of the first people who I got close with after coming to Hell.
She did, yeah... I spent that night helping get her clean and making sure she was okay. She forgave me so fast, it felt scary...
Is quick forgiveness not something she tends to do?
... Yeah, it's just... I don't know. I guess there's just a lot going on in my head about it, and it feels like she should still be mad at me when she's not.
Hm… Don’t worry, that is a common feeling. Sometimes when you’re forgiven quickly, it can feel even less that you deserve it.
Yeah, exactly! And it was only a little bit after Em and I fought, so I thought it was going to end with Jude blowing up at me too. It... felt weird having one person yelling at you because of something you did, and the other person just... forgive you right off the bat.
It's like... It's like it makes it worse. It makes me feel like I could keep just... getting away with it, when I know I can't... And that if I did she'd end up getting hurt, and we'd be back to...
... Yeah, it's weird...
This is not a unique experience, if that soothes you. It is common to want forgiveness to be earned rather than generously given.
… Do you feel Jude shouldn’t have been so quick to forgive?
... Honestly, I don't think so. I feel like she should've been more upset with me, I gave that little asshole who hurt her a paintball gun. Like... How can she bounce back so quickly and just... Forgive me?
Even if I didn't mean to hurt her, I still did...
He snaps his fingers suddenly, but doesn’t elaborate past that. He’s sure Dess understands the drill by now - that tone of voice isn’t welcome as long as he’s around.
It’s true that intention doesn’t always matter when you hurt someone you care about, but that entirely depends on the person. It sounds as though Jude is not the sort to hold grudges, and cares about you quite a lot, and therefore finds it difficult to hold most anything against you.
… I’d like to know more about her. She sounds fascinating. But anyhow…
Getting over forgiveness is difficult, but it’s possible. You simply have to learn to accept the person who so easily accepts you, even when you can’t accept yourself.
*Dess freezes, then shakes their head before nodding. It seems like a sort of physical stim to try and get their mind out of that kind of place.
Honestly, the only people I've ever seen get hold grudges over are the people who continuously fuck with her.
It's ... Just difficult to think like that for me, I guess. I'm not used to having someone forgive me that quickly, who didn't think I was a problem...
He nods in understanding, like he’s finally cracking some kind of riddle.
Then you’ll learn to. That way, forgiveness won’t feel so… out of place in your life.
... I'll try.
*They sigh and take a sip of their hot cocoa, looking down into the mug as they run their fingers through their hair.
“Trying” is a good word to use. Realistic, but still optimistic.
Yeah, it's not like I can change overnight. If I could... I wouldn't need therapy, I guess.
So... What now?
Well… there’s a lot you could do now.
… What do you think you should do?
I think... I think I need to just accept that I need to work for some forgiveness, but that I'm also worth being forgiven. Because I'm not going to lie, it's really hard to feel like I deserve anything.
The corner of his mouth twitches into a faint smile.
That’s a very good idea.
That is understandable. Feelings and acceptance towards other’s forgiveness often forms from childhood experiences, and it sounds as though yours was… less than perfect.
*They let out a stifled laugh, covering their mouth for a moment. It's easy to tell that it was a knee jerk reaction, and they quickly just nod and exhale.
Yeah... That's a nice way of putting it.
... Would up until I died count as my childhood?
He seems a bit confused by their reaction.
Yes, I would say that counts. You were still very young, yes?
I just didn't know if high school counted... I don't know, I've never had to think about what comes as childhood before.
High school counts in my eyes. But if you prefer, we can just refer to it as your “original life”.
Yeah, I think that might be a better way to put it. I'm more comfortable with calling it that at least.
But, yeah... It wasn't the best...
Issues with your mother did not help, I presume.
Yeah... There's more, but... Honestly I don't really want to get into it right now.
I'm... Kind of tired. Is it okay if we call it here this week?
He opens his mouth to speak but pauses, looking at something off camera - checking the time.
Oh dear. They’ve gone a bit over their allotted time.
Yes, of course. We don’t need to get too ahead of ourselves.
I apologize for… not being at my best today. I feel as though my quality of work has not been the best this session.
You're good, life happens right? I still think it was good. So... Same time next week?
… Regardless, I apologize.
Yes, without any interruption this time, I promise.
*Dess clicks the button to enter into the Zoom meeting with Kim, they look relaxed and pretty comfortable, thought they do have a blanket over their shoulders and a mug of what looks to be hot chocolate in their hand.
Hey, sorry I'm a little late. I had to wait for my cocoa to get done.
When Dess joins the call, Kim seems to be unexpectedly in the middle of a conversation. He’s mid sentence with whoever is off screen, his expression endeared but a bit annoyed. He hasn’t noticed Dess yet.
- in the dishwasher - thank you, dear, yes. Don’t worry about it.
Are you sure? I can -
You don’t have to do anything, I can handle a single chore.
But don’t you have to go out after work too?
… Yes. But again, I know my limits, I can do it.
Can I at least find another chore to do?
Kim pinches the bridge of his nose, his glasses lifting above his fingers.
Harry, please -
Um... Kim? I um... you need some more time? I can come back in a little bit...
*Dess quickly puts their mug down and freezes a bit, not sure if it's better to leave the call or keep trying to get Kim's attention. One of their hands moves to their mouse, hovering over the disconnect button and ready to type out an apology for butting into the conversation if Kim still doesn't notice.
The moment Dess speaks up the second time, Kim jumps and looks to the computer. In a rush, he leans off camera and wildly gestures for the other person to get out of the room.
The door can be heard closing as Kim returns, now finally alone but sporting a pair of red embarrassed ears.
… Hello, December.
Hey... I'm sorry, I should've just left and sent you a message asking to tell me when you're ready...
I'm guessing that's your husband? He um... seems like a nice guy. Fwehehe...
*Dess seems equally embarrassed. They've never liked walking into the middle of an argument, and something about Harry wanting to be helpful, maybe too helpful, hits Dess a bit hard.
… So you heard some of our conversation. Right.
No, no - it’s my mistake. I’m your therapist, I’m meant to avoid distraction, even when you’re late. What I have done is technically very unethical, and I apologize deeply.
… It was. He is… We’re not here to talk about me, never mind.
I... don't think it's unethical to talk to your husband about stuff. I was late, you thought you had time... I'll send a message before I jump into the call next time. It's not like your life revolves around our sessions, fwahaha!
Yeah, I guess you're right ... I'm ready if you are, doc.
The corner of his mouth twitches, but not at the threat of a smile, but at the threat of a change in routine.
However you would like to, we shall.
Right. So, as always, how have things been since our last session?
*Dess doesn't notice, picking up their cocoa and taking a sip.
It's been okay. I've been trying to be more... relaxed, I guess is the right word? Letting things be what they are and stuff. Talked to a friend of mine, Clara, and my girlfriend Jude last night. Like... totally different conversations.
Clara was talking about putting USB ports and stuff into her, she's a cyborg like me, and Jude and I talked about... well, just stuff. Ceiling textures, frogs, trying to figure out the best way she learns, and then I fell asleep while she sent be pictures of fish.
He seems to finally relax a little as Dess starts talking.
Jude is your other partner, correct? It sounds as though your relationship with her is much less of a worry than your relationship with Emma.
They're both not bad, but... yeah, Jude is a lot more laid back most of the time. She tends to stay in the condo most of the time, she doesn't go out much, and well... She doesn't know a lot of stuff. Like, world stuff I mean. She's curious about things, and she asks a lot of questions, but she's also really out spoken and she'll tell you what's on her mind like... 95% of the time.
She's also just... friendly. Too friendly sometimes, but she's working on it. Em and I really love her a lot.
… Ah. You speak highly of her, it seems.
So has Jude already forgiven you for your… We’ll call it your paintball incident?
Yeah, she was one of the first people who I got close with after coming to Hell.
She did, yeah... I spent that night helping get her clean and making sure she was okay. She forgave me so fast, it felt scary...
Is quick forgiveness not something she tends to do?
... Yeah, it's just... I don't know. I guess there's just a lot going on in my head about it, and it feels like she should still be mad at me when she's not.
Hm… Don’t worry, that is a common feeling. Sometimes when you’re forgiven quickly, it can feel even less that you deserve it.
Yeah, exactly! And it was only a little bit after Em and I fought, so I thought it was going to end with Jude blowing up at me too. It... felt weird having one person yelling at you because of something you did, and the other person just... forgive you right off the bat.
It's like... It's like it makes it worse. It makes me feel like I could keep just... getting away with it, when I know I can't... And that if I did she'd end up getting hurt, and we'd be back to...
... Yeah, it's weird...
This is not a unique experience, if that soothes you. It is common to want forgiveness to be earned rather than generously given.
… Do you feel Jude shouldn’t have been so quick to forgive?
... Honestly, I don't think so. I feel like she should've been more upset with me, I gave that little asshole who hurt her a paintball gun. Like... How can she bounce back so quickly and just... Forgive me?
Even if I didn't mean to hurt her, I still did...
He snaps his fingers suddenly, but doesn’t elaborate past that. He’s sure Dess understands the drill by now - that tone of voice isn’t welcome as long as he’s around.
It’s true that intention doesn’t always matter when you hurt someone you care about, but that entirely depends on the person. It sounds as though Jude is not the sort to hold grudges, and cares about you quite a lot, and therefore finds it difficult to hold most anything against you.
… I’d like to know more about her. She sounds fascinating. But anyhow…
Getting over forgiveness is difficult, but it’s possible. You simply have to learn to accept the person who so easily accepts you, even when you can’t accept yourself.
*Dess freezes, then shakes their head before nodding. It seems like a sort of physical stim to try and get their mind out of that kind of place.
Honestly, the only people I've ever seen get hold grudges over are the people who continuously fuck with her.
It's ... Just difficult to think like that for me, I guess. I'm not used to having someone forgive me that quickly, who didn't think I was a problem...
He nods in understanding, like he’s finally cracking some kind of riddle.
Then you’ll learn to. That way, forgiveness won’t feel so… out of place in your life.
... I'll try.
*They sigh and take a sip of their hot cocoa, looking down into the mug as they run their fingers through their hair.
“Trying” is a good word to use. Realistic, but still optimistic.
Yeah, it's not like I can change overnight. If I could... I wouldn't need therapy, I guess.
So... What now?
Well… there’s a lot you could do now.
… What do you think you should do?
I think... I think I need to just accept that I need to work for some forgiveness, but that I'm also worth being forgiven. Because I'm not going to lie, it's really hard to feel like I deserve anything.
The corner of his mouth twitches into a faint smile.
That’s a very good idea.
That is understandable. Feelings and acceptance towards other’s forgiveness often forms from childhood experiences, and it sounds as though yours was… less than perfect.
*They let out a stifled laugh, covering their mouth for a moment. It's easy to tell that it was a knee jerk reaction, and they quickly just nod and exhale.
Yeah... That's a nice way of putting it.
... Would up until I died count as my childhood?
He seems a bit confused by their reaction.
Yes, I would say that counts. You were still very young, yes?
I just didn't know if high school counted... I don't know, I've never had to think about what comes as childhood before.
High school counts in my eyes. But if you prefer, we can just refer to it as your “original life”.
Yeah, I think that might be a better way to put it. I'm more comfortable with calling it that at least.
But, yeah... It wasn't the best...
Issues with your mother did not help, I presume.
Yeah... There's more, but... Honestly I don't really want to get into it right now.
I'm... Kind of tired. Is it okay if we call it here this week?
He opens his mouth to speak but pauses, looking at something off camera - checking the time.
Oh dear. They’ve gone a bit over their allotted time.
Yes, of course. We don’t need to get too ahead of ourselves.
I apologize for… not being at my best today. I feel as though my quality of work has not been the best this session.
*Dess clicks the button to enter into the Zoom meeting with Kim, they look relaxed and pretty comfortable, thought they do have a blanket over their shoulders and a mug of what looks to be hot chocolate in their hand.
Hey, sorry I'm a little late. I had to wait for my cocoa to get done.
When Dess joins the call, Kim seems to be unexpectedly in the middle of a conversation. He’s mid sentence with whoever is off screen, his expression endeared but a bit annoyed. He hasn’t noticed Dess yet.
- in the dishwasher - thank you, dear, yes. Don’t worry about it.
Are you sure? I can -
You don’t have to do anything, I can handle a single chore.
But don’t you have to go out after work too?
… Yes. But again, I know my limits, I can do it.
Can I at least find another chore to do?
Kim pinches the bridge of his nose, his glasses lifting above his fingers.
Harry, please -
Um... Kim? I um... you need some more time? I can come back in a little bit...
*Dess quickly puts their mug down and freezes a bit, not sure if it's better to leave the call or keep trying to get Kim's attention. One of their hands moves to their mouse, hovering over the disconnect button and ready to type out an apology for butting into the conversation if Kim still doesn't notice.
The moment Dess speaks up the second time, Kim jumps and looks to the computer. In a rush, he leans off camera and wildly gestures for the other person to get out of the room.
The door can be heard closing as Kim returns, now finally alone but sporting a pair of red embarrassed ears.
… Hello, December.
Hey... I'm sorry, I should've just left and sent you a message asking to tell me when you're ready...
I'm guessing that's your husband? He um... seems like a nice guy. Fwehehe...
*Dess seems equally embarrassed. They've never liked walking into the middle of an argument, and something about Harry wanting to be helpful, maybe too helpful, hits Dess a bit hard.
… So you heard some of our conversation. Right.
No, no - it’s my mistake. I’m your therapist, I’m meant to avoid distraction, even when you’re late. What I have done is technically very unethical, and I apologize deeply.
… It was. He is… We’re not here to talk about me, never mind.
I... don't think it's unethical to talk to your husband about stuff. I was late, you thought you had time... I'll send a message before I jump into the call next time. It's not like your life revolves around our sessions, fwahaha!
Yeah, I guess you're right ... I'm ready if you are, doc.
The corner of his mouth twitches, but not at the threat of a smile, but at the threat of a change in routine.
However you would like to, we shall.
Right. So, as always, how have things been since our last session?
*Dess doesn't notice, picking up their cocoa and taking a sip.
It's been okay. I've been trying to be more... relaxed, I guess is the right word? Letting things be what they are and stuff. Talked to a friend of mine, Clara, and my girlfriend Jude last night. Like... totally different conversations.
Clara was talking about putting USB ports and stuff into her, she's a cyborg like me, and Jude and I talked about... well, just stuff. Ceiling textures, frogs, trying to figure out the best way she learns, and then I fell asleep while she sent be pictures of fish.
He seems to finally relax a little as Dess starts talking.
Jude is your other partner, correct? It sounds as though your relationship with her is much less of a worry than your relationship with Emma.
They're both not bad, but... yeah, Jude is a lot more laid back most of the time. She tends to stay in the condo most of the time, she doesn't go out much, and well... She doesn't know a lot of stuff. Like, world stuff I mean. She's curious about things, and she asks a lot of questions, but she's also really out spoken and she'll tell you what's on her mind like... 95% of the time.
She's also just... friendly. Too friendly sometimes, but she's working on it. Em and I really love her a lot.
… Ah. You speak highly of her, it seems.
So has Jude already forgiven you for your… We’ll call it your paintball incident?
Yeah, she was one of the first people who I got close with after coming to Hell.
She did, yeah... I spent that night helping get her clean and making sure she was okay. She forgave me so fast, it felt scary...
Is quick forgiveness not something she tends to do?
... Yeah, it's just... I don't know. I guess there's just a lot going on in my head about it, and it feels like she should still be mad at me when she's not.
Hm… Don’t worry, that is a common feeling. Sometimes when you’re forgiven quickly, it can feel even less that you deserve it.
Yeah, exactly! And it was only a little bit after Em and I fought, so I thought it was going to end with Jude blowing up at me too. It... felt weird having one person yelling at you because of something you did, and the other person just... forgive you right off the bat.
It's like... It's like it makes it worse. It makes me feel like I could keep just... getting away with it, when I know I can't... And that if I did she'd end up getting hurt, and we'd be back to...
... Yeah, it's weird...
This is not a unique experience, if that soothes you. It is common to want forgiveness to be earned rather than generously given.
… Do you feel Jude shouldn’t have been so quick to forgive?
... Honestly, I don't think so. I feel like she should've been more upset with me, I gave that little asshole who hurt her a paintball gun. Like... How can she bounce back so quickly and just... Forgive me?
Even if I didn't mean to hurt her, I still did...
He snaps his fingers suddenly, but doesn’t elaborate past that. He’s sure Dess understands the drill by now - that tone of voice isn’t welcome as long as he’s around.
It’s true that intention doesn’t always matter when you hurt someone you care about, but that entirely depends on the person. It sounds as though Jude is not the sort to hold grudges, and cares about you quite a lot, and therefore finds it difficult to hold most anything against you.
… I’d like to know more about her. She sounds fascinating. But anyhow…
Getting over forgiveness is difficult, but it’s possible. You simply have to learn to accept the person who so easily accepts you, even when you can’t accept yourself.
*Dess freezes, then shakes their head before nodding. It seems like a sort of physical stim to try and get their mind out of that kind of place.
Honestly, the only people I've ever seen get hold grudges over are the people who continuously fuck with her.
It's ... Just difficult to think like that for me, I guess. I'm not used to having someone forgive me that quickly, who didn't think I was a problem...
He nods in understanding, like he’s finally cracking some kind of riddle.
Then you’ll learn to. That way, forgiveness won’t feel so… out of place in your life.
... I'll try.
*They sigh and take a sip of their hot cocoa, looking down into the mug as they run their fingers through their hair.
“Trying” is a good word to use. Realistic, but still optimistic.
Yeah, it's not like I can change overnight. If I could... I wouldn't need therapy, I guess.
So... What now?
Well… there’s a lot you could do now.
… What do you think you should do?
I think... I think I need to just accept that I need to work for some forgiveness, but that I'm also worth being forgiven. Because I'm not going to lie, it's really hard to feel like I deserve anything.
The corner of his mouth twitches into a faint smile.
That’s a very good idea.
That is understandable. Feelings and acceptance towards other’s forgiveness often forms from childhood experiences, and it sounds as though yours was… less than perfect.
*They let out a stifled laugh, covering their mouth for a moment. It's easy to tell that it was a knee jerk reaction, and they quickly just nod and exhale.
Yeah... That's a nice way of putting it.
... Would up until I died count as my childhood?
He seems a bit confused by their reaction.
Yes, I would say that counts. You were still very young, yes?
I just didn't know if high school counted... I don't know, I've never had to think about what comes as childhood before.
High school counts in my eyes. But if you prefer, we can just refer to it as your “original life”.
Yeah, I think that might be a better way to put it. I'm more comfortable with calling it that at least.
But, yeah... It wasn't the best...
Issues with your mother did not help, I presume.
*Dess clicks the button to enter into the Zoom meeting with Kim, they look relaxed and pretty comfortable, thought they do have a blanket over their shoulders and a mug of what looks to be hot chocolate in their hand.
Hey, sorry I'm a little late. I had to wait for my cocoa to get done.
When Dess joins the call, Kim seems to be unexpectedly in the middle of a conversation. He’s mid sentence with whoever is off screen, his expression endeared but a bit annoyed. He hasn’t noticed Dess yet.
- in the dishwasher - thank you, dear, yes. Don’t worry about it.
Are you sure? I can -
You don’t have to do anything, I can handle a single chore.
But don’t you have to go out after work too?
… Yes. But again, I know my limits, I can do it.
Can I at least find another chore to do?
Kim pinches the bridge of his nose, his glasses lifting above his fingers.
Harry, please -
Um... Kim? I um... you need some more time? I can come back in a little bit...
*Dess quickly puts their mug down and freezes a bit, not sure if it's better to leave the call or keep trying to get Kim's attention. One of their hands moves to their mouse, hovering over the disconnect button and ready to type out an apology for butting into the conversation if Kim still doesn't notice.
The moment Dess speaks up the second time, Kim jumps and looks to the computer. In a rush, he leans off camera and wildly gestures for the other person to get out of the room.
The door can be heard closing as Kim returns, now finally alone but sporting a pair of red embarrassed ears.
… Hello, December.
Hey... I'm sorry, I should've just left and sent you a message asking to tell me when you're ready...
I'm guessing that's your husband? He um... seems like a nice guy. Fwehehe...
*Dess seems equally embarrassed. They've never liked walking into the middle of an argument, and something about Harry wanting to be helpful, maybe too helpful, hits Dess a bit hard.
… So you heard some of our conversation. Right.
No, no - it’s my mistake. I’m your therapist, I’m meant to avoid distraction, even when you’re late. What I have done is technically very unethical, and I apologize deeply.
… It was. He is… We’re not here to talk about me, never mind.
I... don't think it's unethical to talk to your husband about stuff. I was late, you thought you had time... I'll send a message before I jump into the call next time. It's not like your life revolves around our sessions, fwahaha!
Yeah, I guess you're right ... I'm ready if you are, doc.
The corner of his mouth twitches, but not at the threat of a smile, but at the threat of a change in routine.
However you would like to, we shall.
Right. So, as always, how have things been since our last session?
*Dess doesn't notice, picking up their cocoa and taking a sip.
It's been okay. I've been trying to be more... relaxed, I guess is the right word? Letting things be what they are and stuff. Talked to a friend of mine, Clara, and my girlfriend Jude last night. Like... totally different conversations.
Clara was talking about putting USB ports and stuff into her, she's a cyborg like me, and Jude and I talked about... well, just stuff. Ceiling textures, frogs, trying to figure out the best way she learns, and then I fell asleep while she sent be pictures of fish.
He seems to finally relax a little as Dess starts talking.
Jude is your other partner, correct? It sounds as though your relationship with her is much less of a worry than your relationship with Emma.
They're both not bad, but... yeah, Jude is a lot more laid back most of the time. She tends to stay in the condo most of the time, she doesn't go out much, and well... She doesn't know a lot of stuff. Like, world stuff I mean. She's curious about things, and she asks a lot of questions, but she's also really out spoken and she'll tell you what's on her mind like... 95% of the time.
She's also just... friendly. Too friendly sometimes, but she's working on it. Em and I really love her a lot.
… Ah. You speak highly of her, it seems.
So has Jude already forgiven you for your… We’ll call it your paintball incident?
Yeah, she was one of the first people who I got close with after coming to Hell.
She did, yeah... I spent that night helping get her clean and making sure she was okay. She forgave me so fast, it felt scary...
Is quick forgiveness not something she tends to do?
... Yeah, it's just... I don't know. I guess there's just a lot going on in my head about it, and it feels like she should still be mad at me when she's not.
Hm… Don’t worry, that is a common feeling. Sometimes when you’re forgiven quickly, it can feel even less that you deserve it.
Yeah, exactly! And it was only a little bit after Em and I fought, so I thought it was going to end with Jude blowing up at me too. It... felt weird having one person yelling at you because of something you did, and the other person just... forgive you right off the bat.
It's like... It's like it makes it worse. It makes me feel like I could keep just... getting away with it, when I know I can't... And that if I did she'd end up getting hurt, and we'd be back to...
... Yeah, it's weird...
This is not a unique experience, if that soothes you. It is common to want forgiveness to be earned rather than generously given.
… Do you feel Jude shouldn’t have been so quick to forgive?
... Honestly, I don't think so. I feel like she should've been more upset with me, I gave that little asshole who hurt her a paintball gun. Like... How can she bounce back so quickly and just... Forgive me?
Even if I didn't mean to hurt her, I still did...
He snaps his fingers suddenly, but doesn’t elaborate past that. He’s sure Dess understands the drill by now - that tone of voice isn’t welcome as long as he’s around.
It’s true that intention doesn’t always matter when you hurt someone you care about, but that entirely depends on the person. It sounds as though Jude is not the sort to hold grudges, and cares about you quite a lot, and therefore finds it difficult to hold most anything against you.
… I’d like to know more about her. She sounds fascinating. But anyhow…
Getting over forgiveness is difficult, but it’s possible. You simply have to learn to accept the person who so easily accepts you, even when you can’t accept yourself.
*Dess freezes, then shakes their head before nodding. It seems like a sort of physical stim to try and get their mind out of that kind of place.
Honestly, the only people I've ever seen get hold grudges over are the people who continuously fuck with her.
It's ... Just difficult to think like that for me, I guess. I'm not used to having someone forgive me that quickly, who didn't think I was a problem...
He nods in understanding, like he’s finally cracking some kind of riddle.
Then you’ll learn to. That way, forgiveness won’t feel so… out of place in your life.
... I'll try.
*They sigh and take a sip of their hot cocoa, looking down into the mug as they run their fingers through their hair.
“Trying” is a good word to use. Realistic, but still optimistic.
Yeah, it's not like I can change overnight. If I could... I wouldn't need therapy, I guess.
So... What now?
Well… there’s a lot you could do now.
… What do you think you should do?
I think... I think I need to just accept that I need to work for some forgiveness, but that I'm also worth being forgiven. Because I'm not going to lie, it's really hard to feel like I deserve anything.
The corner of his mouth twitches into a faint smile.
That’s a very good idea.
That is understandable. Feelings and acceptance towards other’s forgiveness often forms from childhood experiences, and it sounds as though yours was… less than perfect.
*They let out a stifled laugh, covering their mouth for a moment. It's easy to tell that it was a knee jerk reaction, and they quickly just nod and exhale.
Yeah... That's a nice way of putting it.
... Would up until I died count as my childhood?
He seems a bit confused by their reaction.
Yes, I would say that counts. You were still very young, yes?
I just didn't know if high school counted... I don't know, I've never had to think about what comes as childhood before.
High school counts in my eyes. But if you prefer, we can just refer to it as your “original life”.
*Dess clicks the button to enter into the Zoom meeting with Kim, they look relaxed and pretty comfortable, thought they do have a blanket over their shoulders and a mug of what looks to be hot chocolate in their hand.
Hey, sorry I'm a little late. I had to wait for my cocoa to get done.
When Dess joins the call, Kim seems to be unexpectedly in the middle of a conversation. He’s mid sentence with whoever is off screen, his expression endeared but a bit annoyed. He hasn’t noticed Dess yet.
- in the dishwasher - thank you, dear, yes. Don’t worry about it.
Are you sure? I can -
You don’t have to do anything, I can handle a single chore.
But don’t you have to go out after work too?
… Yes. But again, I know my limits, I can do it.
Can I at least find another chore to do?
Kim pinches the bridge of his nose, his glasses lifting above his fingers.
Harry, please -
Um... Kim? I um... you need some more time? I can come back in a little bit...
*Dess quickly puts their mug down and freezes a bit, not sure if it's better to leave the call or keep trying to get Kim's attention. One of their hands moves to their mouse, hovering over the disconnect button and ready to type out an apology for butting into the conversation if Kim still doesn't notice.
The moment Dess speaks up the second time, Kim jumps and looks to the computer. In a rush, he leans off camera and wildly gestures for the other person to get out of the room.
The door can be heard closing as Kim returns, now finally alone but sporting a pair of red embarrassed ears.
… Hello, December.
Hey... I'm sorry, I should've just left and sent you a message asking to tell me when you're ready...
I'm guessing that's your husband? He um... seems like a nice guy. Fwehehe...
*Dess seems equally embarrassed. They've never liked walking into the middle of an argument, and something about Harry wanting to be helpful, maybe too helpful, hits Dess a bit hard.
… So you heard some of our conversation. Right.
No, no - it’s my mistake. I’m your therapist, I’m meant to avoid distraction, even when you’re late. What I have done is technically very unethical, and I apologize deeply.
… It was. He is… We’re not here to talk about me, never mind.
I... don't think it's unethical to talk to your husband about stuff. I was late, you thought you had time... I'll send a message before I jump into the call next time. It's not like your life revolves around our sessions, fwahaha!
Yeah, I guess you're right ... I'm ready if you are, doc.
The corner of his mouth twitches, but not at the threat of a smile, but at the threat of a change in routine.
However you would like to, we shall.
Right. So, as always, how have things been since our last session?
*Dess doesn't notice, picking up their cocoa and taking a sip.
It's been okay. I've been trying to be more... relaxed, I guess is the right word? Letting things be what they are and stuff. Talked to a friend of mine, Clara, and my girlfriend Jude last night. Like... totally different conversations.
Clara was talking about putting USB ports and stuff into her, she's a cyborg like me, and Jude and I talked about... well, just stuff. Ceiling textures, frogs, trying to figure out the best way she learns, and then I fell asleep while she sent be pictures of fish.
He seems to finally relax a little as Dess starts talking.
Jude is your other partner, correct? It sounds as though your relationship with her is much less of a worry than your relationship with Emma.
They're both not bad, but... yeah, Jude is a lot more laid back most of the time. She tends to stay in the condo most of the time, she doesn't go out much, and well... She doesn't know a lot of stuff. Like, world stuff I mean. She's curious about things, and she asks a lot of questions, but she's also really out spoken and she'll tell you what's on her mind like... 95% of the time.
She's also just... friendly. Too friendly sometimes, but she's working on it. Em and I really love her a lot.
… Ah. You speak highly of her, it seems.
So has Jude already forgiven you for your… We’ll call it your paintball incident?
Yeah, she was one of the first people who I got close with after coming to Hell.
She did, yeah... I spent that night helping get her clean and making sure she was okay. She forgave me so fast, it felt scary...
Is quick forgiveness not something she tends to do?
... Yeah, it's just... I don't know. I guess there's just a lot going on in my head about it, and it feels like she should still be mad at me when she's not.
Hm… Don’t worry, that is a common feeling. Sometimes when you’re forgiven quickly, it can feel even less that you deserve it.
Yeah, exactly! And it was only a little bit after Em and I fought, so I thought it was going to end with Jude blowing up at me too. It... felt weird having one person yelling at you because of something you did, and the other person just... forgive you right off the bat.
It's like... It's like it makes it worse. It makes me feel like I could keep just... getting away with it, when I know I can't... And that if I did she'd end up getting hurt, and we'd be back to...
... Yeah, it's weird...
This is not a unique experience, if that soothes you. It is common to want forgiveness to be earned rather than generously given.
… Do you feel Jude shouldn’t have been so quick to forgive?
... Honestly, I don't think so. I feel like she should've been more upset with me, I gave that little asshole who hurt her a paintball gun. Like... How can she bounce back so quickly and just... Forgive me?
Even if I didn't mean to hurt her, I still did...
He snaps his fingers suddenly, but doesn’t elaborate past that. He’s sure Dess understands the drill by now - that tone of voice isn’t welcome as long as he’s around.
It’s true that intention doesn’t always matter when you hurt someone you care about, but that entirely depends on the person. It sounds as though Jude is not the sort to hold grudges, and cares about you quite a lot, and therefore finds it difficult to hold most anything against you.
… I’d like to know more about her. She sounds fascinating. But anyhow…
Getting over forgiveness is difficult, but it’s possible. You simply have to learn to accept the person who so easily accepts you, even when you can’t accept yourself.
*Dess freezes, then shakes their head before nodding. It seems like a sort of physical stim to try and get their mind out of that kind of place.
Honestly, the only people I've ever seen get hold grudges over are the people who continuously fuck with her.
It's ... Just difficult to think like that for me, I guess. I'm not used to having someone forgive me that quickly, who didn't think I was a problem...
He nods in understanding, like he’s finally cracking some kind of riddle.
Then you’ll learn to. That way, forgiveness won’t feel so… out of place in your life.
... I'll try.
*They sigh and take a sip of their hot cocoa, looking down into the mug as they run their fingers through their hair.
“Trying” is a good word to use. Realistic, but still optimistic.
Yeah, it's not like I can change overnight. If I could... I wouldn't need therapy, I guess.
So... What now?
Well… there’s a lot you could do now.
… What do you think you should do?
I think... I think I need to just accept that I need to work for some forgiveness, but that I'm also worth being forgiven. Because I'm not going to lie, it's really hard to feel like I deserve anything.
The corner of his mouth twitches into a faint smile.
That’s a very good idea.
That is understandable. Feelings and acceptance towards other’s forgiveness often forms from childhood experiences, and it sounds as though yours was… less than perfect.
*They let out a stifled laugh, covering their mouth for a moment. It's easy to tell that it was a knee jerk reaction, and they quickly just nod and exhale.
Yeah... That's a nice way of putting it.
... Would up until I died count as my childhood?
He seems a bit confused by their reaction.
Yes, I would say that counts. You were still very young, yes?
*Dess clicks the button to enter into the Zoom meeting with Kim, they look relaxed and pretty comfortable, thought they do have a blanket over their shoulders and a mug of what looks to be hot chocolate in their hand.
Hey, sorry I'm a little late. I had to wait for my cocoa to get done.
When Dess joins the call, Kim seems to be unexpectedly in the middle of a conversation. He’s mid sentence with whoever is off screen, his expression endeared but a bit annoyed. He hasn’t noticed Dess yet.
- in the dishwasher - thank you, dear, yes. Don’t worry about it.
Are you sure? I can -
You don’t have to do anything, I can handle a single chore.
But don’t you have to go out after work too?
… Yes. But again, I know my limits, I can do it.
Can I at least find another chore to do?
Kim pinches the bridge of his nose, his glasses lifting above his fingers.
Harry, please -
Um... Kim? I um... you need some more time? I can come back in a little bit...
*Dess quickly puts their mug down and freezes a bit, not sure if it's better to leave the call or keep trying to get Kim's attention. One of their hands moves to their mouse, hovering over the disconnect button and ready to type out an apology for butting into the conversation if Kim still doesn't notice.
The moment Dess speaks up the second time, Kim jumps and looks to the computer. In a rush, he leans off camera and wildly gestures for the other person to get out of the room.
The door can be heard closing as Kim returns, now finally alone but sporting a pair of red embarrassed ears.
… Hello, December.
Hey... I'm sorry, I should've just left and sent you a message asking to tell me when you're ready...
I'm guessing that's your husband? He um... seems like a nice guy. Fwehehe...
*Dess seems equally embarrassed. They've never liked walking into the middle of an argument, and something about Harry wanting to be helpful, maybe too helpful, hits Dess a bit hard.
… So you heard some of our conversation. Right.
No, no - it’s my mistake. I’m your therapist, I’m meant to avoid distraction, even when you’re late. What I have done is technically very unethical, and I apologize deeply.
… It was. He is… We’re not here to talk about me, never mind.
I... don't think it's unethical to talk to your husband about stuff. I was late, you thought you had time... I'll send a message before I jump into the call next time. It's not like your life revolves around our sessions, fwahaha!
Yeah, I guess you're right ... I'm ready if you are, doc.
The corner of his mouth twitches, but not at the threat of a smile, but at the threat of a change in routine.
However you would like to, we shall.
Right. So, as always, how have things been since our last session?
*Dess doesn't notice, picking up their cocoa and taking a sip.
It's been okay. I've been trying to be more... relaxed, I guess is the right word? Letting things be what they are and stuff. Talked to a friend of mine, Clara, and my girlfriend Jude last night. Like... totally different conversations.
Clara was talking about putting USB ports and stuff into her, she's a cyborg like me, and Jude and I talked about... well, just stuff. Ceiling textures, frogs, trying to figure out the best way she learns, and then I fell asleep while she sent be pictures of fish.
He seems to finally relax a little as Dess starts talking.
Jude is your other partner, correct? It sounds as though your relationship with her is much less of a worry than your relationship with Emma.
They're both not bad, but... yeah, Jude is a lot more laid back most of the time. She tends to stay in the condo most of the time, she doesn't go out much, and well... She doesn't know a lot of stuff. Like, world stuff I mean. She's curious about things, and she asks a lot of questions, but she's also really out spoken and she'll tell you what's on her mind like... 95% of the time.
She's also just... friendly. Too friendly sometimes, but she's working on it. Em and I really love her a lot.
… Ah. You speak highly of her, it seems.
So has Jude already forgiven you for your… We’ll call it your paintball incident?
Yeah, she was one of the first people who I got close with after coming to Hell.
She did, yeah... I spent that night helping get her clean and making sure she was okay. She forgave me so fast, it felt scary...
Is quick forgiveness not something she tends to do?
... Yeah, it's just... I don't know. I guess there's just a lot going on in my head about it, and it feels like she should still be mad at me when she's not.
Hm… Don’t worry, that is a common feeling. Sometimes when you’re forgiven quickly, it can feel even less that you deserve it.
Yeah, exactly! And it was only a little bit after Em and I fought, so I thought it was going to end with Jude blowing up at me too. It... felt weird having one person yelling at you because of something you did, and the other person just... forgive you right off the bat.
It's like... It's like it makes it worse. It makes me feel like I could keep just... getting away with it, when I know I can't... And that if I did she'd end up getting hurt, and we'd be back to...
... Yeah, it's weird...
This is not a unique experience, if that soothes you. It is common to want forgiveness to be earned rather than generously given.
… Do you feel Jude shouldn’t have been so quick to forgive?
... Honestly, I don't think so. I feel like she should've been more upset with me, I gave that little asshole who hurt her a paintball gun. Like... How can she bounce back so quickly and just... Forgive me?
Even if I didn't mean to hurt her, I still did...
He snaps his fingers suddenly, but doesn’t elaborate past that. He’s sure Dess understands the drill by now - that tone of voice isn’t welcome as long as he’s around.
It’s true that intention doesn’t always matter when you hurt someone you care about, but that entirely depends on the person. It sounds as though Jude is not the sort to hold grudges, and cares about you quite a lot, and therefore finds it difficult to hold most anything against you.
… I’d like to know more about her. She sounds fascinating. But anyhow…
Getting over forgiveness is difficult, but it’s possible. You simply have to learn to accept the person who so easily accepts you, even when you can’t accept yourself.
*Dess freezes, then shakes their head before nodding. It seems like a sort of physical stim to try and get their mind out of that kind of place.
Honestly, the only people I've ever seen get hold grudges over are the people who continuously fuck with her.
It's ... Just difficult to think like that for me, I guess. I'm not used to having someone forgive me that quickly, who didn't think I was a problem...
He nods in understanding, like he’s finally cracking some kind of riddle.
Then you’ll learn to. That way, forgiveness won’t feel so… out of place in your life.
... I'll try.
*They sigh and take a sip of their hot cocoa, looking down into the mug as they run their fingers through their hair.
“Trying” is a good word to use. Realistic, but still optimistic.
Yeah, it's not like I can change overnight. If I could... I wouldn't need therapy, I guess.
So... What now?
Well… there’s a lot you could do now.
… What do you think you should do?
I think... I think I need to just accept that I need to work for some forgiveness, but that I'm also worth being forgiven. Because I'm not going to lie, it's really hard to feel like I deserve anything.
The corner of his mouth twitches into a faint smile.
That’s a very good idea.
That is understandable. Feelings and acceptance towards other’s forgiveness often forms from childhood experiences, and it sounds as though yours was… less than perfect.
*Dess clicks the button to enter into the Zoom meeting with Kim, they look relaxed and pretty comfortable, thought they do have a blanket over their shoulders and a mug of what looks to be hot chocolate in their hand.
Hey, sorry I'm a little late. I had to wait for my cocoa to get done.
When Dess joins the call, Kim seems to be unexpectedly in the middle of a conversation. He’s mid sentence with whoever is off screen, his expression endeared but a bit annoyed. He hasn’t noticed Dess yet.
- in the dishwasher - thank you, dear, yes. Don’t worry about it.
Are you sure? I can -
You don’t have to do anything, I can handle a single chore.
But don’t you have to go out after work too?
… Yes. But again, I know my limits, I can do it.
Can I at least find another chore to do?
Kim pinches the bridge of his nose, his glasses lifting above his fingers.
Harry, please -
Um... Kim? I um... you need some more time? I can come back in a little bit...
*Dess quickly puts their mug down and freezes a bit, not sure if it's better to leave the call or keep trying to get Kim's attention. One of their hands moves to their mouse, hovering over the disconnect button and ready to type out an apology for butting into the conversation if Kim still doesn't notice.
The moment Dess speaks up the second time, Kim jumps and looks to the computer. In a rush, he leans off camera and wildly gestures for the other person to get out of the room.
The door can be heard closing as Kim returns, now finally alone but sporting a pair of red embarrassed ears.
… Hello, December.
Hey... I'm sorry, I should've just left and sent you a message asking to tell me when you're ready...
I'm guessing that's your husband? He um... seems like a nice guy. Fwehehe...
*Dess seems equally embarrassed. They've never liked walking into the middle of an argument, and something about Harry wanting to be helpful, maybe too helpful, hits Dess a bit hard.
… So you heard some of our conversation. Right.
No, no - it’s my mistake. I’m your therapist, I’m meant to avoid distraction, even when you’re late. What I have done is technically very unethical, and I apologize deeply.
… It was. He is… We’re not here to talk about me, never mind.
I... don't think it's unethical to talk to your husband about stuff. I was late, you thought you had time... I'll send a message before I jump into the call next time. It's not like your life revolves around our sessions, fwahaha!
Yeah, I guess you're right ... I'm ready if you are, doc.
The corner of his mouth twitches, but not at the threat of a smile, but at the threat of a change in routine.
However you would like to, we shall.
Right. So, as always, how have things been since our last session?
*Dess doesn't notice, picking up their cocoa and taking a sip.
It's been okay. I've been trying to be more... relaxed, I guess is the right word? Letting things be what they are and stuff. Talked to a friend of mine, Clara, and my girlfriend Jude last night. Like... totally different conversations.
Clara was talking about putting USB ports and stuff into her, she's a cyborg like me, and Jude and I talked about... well, just stuff. Ceiling textures, frogs, trying to figure out the best way she learns, and then I fell asleep while she sent be pictures of fish.
He seems to finally relax a little as Dess starts talking.
Jude is your other partner, correct? It sounds as though your relationship with her is much less of a worry than your relationship with Emma.
They're both not bad, but... yeah, Jude is a lot more laid back most of the time. She tends to stay in the condo most of the time, she doesn't go out much, and well... She doesn't know a lot of stuff. Like, world stuff I mean. She's curious about things, and she asks a lot of questions, but she's also really out spoken and she'll tell you what's on her mind like... 95% of the time.
She's also just... friendly. Too friendly sometimes, but she's working on it. Em and I really love her a lot.
… Ah. You speak highly of her, it seems.
So has Jude already forgiven you for your… We’ll call it your paintball incident?
Yeah, she was one of the first people who I got close with after coming to Hell.
She did, yeah... I spent that night helping get her clean and making sure she was okay. She forgave me so fast, it felt scary...
Is quick forgiveness not something she tends to do?
... Yeah, it's just... I don't know. I guess there's just a lot going on in my head about it, and it feels like she should still be mad at me when she's not.
Hm… Don’t worry, that is a common feeling. Sometimes when you’re forgiven quickly, it can feel even less that you deserve it.
Yeah, exactly! And it was only a little bit after Em and I fought, so I thought it was going to end with Jude blowing up at me too. It... felt weird having one person yelling at you because of something you did, and the other person just... forgive you right off the bat.
It's like... It's like it makes it worse. It makes me feel like I could keep just... getting away with it, when I know I can't... And that if I did she'd end up getting hurt, and we'd be back to...
... Yeah, it's weird...
This is not a unique experience, if that soothes you. It is common to want forgiveness to be earned rather than generously given.
… Do you feel Jude shouldn’t have been so quick to forgive?
... Honestly, I don't think so. I feel like she should've been more upset with me, I gave that little asshole who hurt her a paintball gun. Like... How can she bounce back so quickly and just... Forgive me?
Even if I didn't mean to hurt her, I still did...
He snaps his fingers suddenly, but doesn’t elaborate past that. He’s sure Dess understands the drill by now - that tone of voice isn’t welcome as long as he’s around.
It’s true that intention doesn’t always matter when you hurt someone you care about, but that entirely depends on the person. It sounds as though Jude is not the sort to hold grudges, and cares about you quite a lot, and therefore finds it difficult to hold most anything against you.
… I’d like to know more about her. She sounds fascinating. But anyhow…
Getting over forgiveness is difficult, but it’s possible. You simply have to learn to accept the person who so easily accepts you, even when you can’t accept yourself.
*Dess freezes, then shakes their head before nodding. It seems like a sort of physical stim to try and get their mind out of that kind of place.
Honestly, the only people I've ever seen get hold grudges over are the people who continuously fuck with her.
It's ... Just difficult to think like that for me, I guess. I'm not used to having someone forgive me that quickly, who didn't think I was a problem...
He nods in understanding, like he’s finally cracking some kind of riddle.
Then you’ll learn to. That way, forgiveness won’t feel so… out of place in your life.
... I'll try.
*They sigh and take a sip of their hot cocoa, looking down into the mug as they run their fingers through their hair.
“Trying” is a good word to use. Realistic, but still optimistic.
Yeah, it's not like I can change overnight. If I could... I wouldn't need therapy, I guess.
So... What now?
Well… there’s a lot you could do now.
… What do you think you should do?
*Dess clicks the button to enter into the Zoom meeting with Kim, they look relaxed and pretty comfortable, thought they do have a blanket over their shoulders and a mug of what looks to be hot chocolate in their hand.
Hey, sorry I'm a little late. I had to wait for my cocoa to get done.
When Dess joins the call, Kim seems to be unexpectedly in the middle of a conversation. He’s mid sentence with whoever is off screen, his expression endeared but a bit annoyed. He hasn’t noticed Dess yet.
- in the dishwasher - thank you, dear, yes. Don’t worry about it.
Are you sure? I can -
You don’t have to do anything, I can handle a single chore.
But don’t you have to go out after work too?
… Yes. But again, I know my limits, I can do it.
Can I at least find another chore to do?
Kim pinches the bridge of his nose, his glasses lifting above his fingers.
Harry, please -
Um... Kim? I um... you need some more time? I can come back in a little bit...
*Dess quickly puts their mug down and freezes a bit, not sure if it's better to leave the call or keep trying to get Kim's attention. One of their hands moves to their mouse, hovering over the disconnect button and ready to type out an apology for butting into the conversation if Kim still doesn't notice.
The moment Dess speaks up the second time, Kim jumps and looks to the computer. In a rush, he leans off camera and wildly gestures for the other person to get out of the room.
The door can be heard closing as Kim returns, now finally alone but sporting a pair of red embarrassed ears.
… Hello, December.
Hey... I'm sorry, I should've just left and sent you a message asking to tell me when you're ready...
I'm guessing that's your husband? He um... seems like a nice guy. Fwehehe...
*Dess seems equally embarrassed. They've never liked walking into the middle of an argument, and something about Harry wanting to be helpful, maybe too helpful, hits Dess a bit hard.
… So you heard some of our conversation. Right.
No, no - it’s my mistake. I’m your therapist, I’m meant to avoid distraction, even when you’re late. What I have done is technically very unethical, and I apologize deeply.
… It was. He is… We’re not here to talk about me, never mind.
I... don't think it's unethical to talk to your husband about stuff. I was late, you thought you had time... I'll send a message before I jump into the call next time. It's not like your life revolves around our sessions, fwahaha!
Yeah, I guess you're right ... I'm ready if you are, doc.
The corner of his mouth twitches, but not at the threat of a smile, but at the threat of a change in routine.
However you would like to, we shall.
Right. So, as always, how have things been since our last session?
*Dess doesn't notice, picking up their cocoa and taking a sip.
It's been okay. I've been trying to be more... relaxed, I guess is the right word? Letting things be what they are and stuff. Talked to a friend of mine, Clara, and my girlfriend Jude last night. Like... totally different conversations.
Clara was talking about putting USB ports and stuff into her, she's a cyborg like me, and Jude and I talked about... well, just stuff. Ceiling textures, frogs, trying to figure out the best way she learns, and then I fell asleep while she sent be pictures of fish.
He seems to finally relax a little as Dess starts talking.
Jude is your other partner, correct? It sounds as though your relationship with her is much less of a worry than your relationship with Emma.
They're both not bad, but... yeah, Jude is a lot more laid back most of the time. She tends to stay in the condo most of the time, she doesn't go out much, and well... She doesn't know a lot of stuff. Like, world stuff I mean. She's curious about things, and she asks a lot of questions, but she's also really out spoken and she'll tell you what's on her mind like... 95% of the time.
She's also just... friendly. Too friendly sometimes, but she's working on it. Em and I really love her a lot.
… Ah. You speak highly of her, it seems.
So has Jude already forgiven you for your… We’ll call it your paintball incident?
Yeah, she was one of the first people who I got close with after coming to Hell.
She did, yeah... I spent that night helping get her clean and making sure she was okay. She forgave me so fast, it felt scary...
Is quick forgiveness not something she tends to do?
... Yeah, it's just... I don't know. I guess there's just a lot going on in my head about it, and it feels like she should still be mad at me when she's not.
Hm… Don’t worry, that is a common feeling. Sometimes when you’re forgiven quickly, it can feel even less that you deserve it.
Yeah, exactly! And it was only a little bit after Em and I fought, so I thought it was going to end with Jude blowing up at me too. It... felt weird having one person yelling at you because of something you did, and the other person just... forgive you right off the bat.
It's like... It's like it makes it worse. It makes me feel like I could keep just... getting away with it, when I know I can't... And that if I did she'd end up getting hurt, and we'd be back to...
... Yeah, it's weird...
This is not a unique experience, if that soothes you. It is common to want forgiveness to be earned rather than generously given.
… Do you feel Jude shouldn’t have been so quick to forgive?
... Honestly, I don't think so. I feel like she should've been more upset with me, I gave that little asshole who hurt her a paintball gun. Like... How can she bounce back so quickly and just... Forgive me?
Even if I didn't mean to hurt her, I still did...
He snaps his fingers suddenly, but doesn’t elaborate past that. He’s sure Dess understands the drill by now - that tone of voice isn’t welcome as long as he’s around.
It’s true that intention doesn’t always matter when you hurt someone you care about, but that entirely depends on the person. It sounds as though Jude is not the sort to hold grudges, and cares about you quite a lot, and therefore finds it difficult to hold most anything against you.
… I’d like to know more about her. She sounds fascinating. But anyhow…
Getting over forgiveness is difficult, but it’s possible. You simply have to learn to accept the person who so easily accepts you, even when you can’t accept yourself.
*Dess freezes, then shakes their head before nodding. It seems like a sort of physical stim to try and get their mind out of that kind of place.
Honestly, the only people I've ever seen get hold grudges over are the people who continuously fuck with her.
It's ... Just difficult to think like that for me, I guess. I'm not used to having someone forgive me that quickly, who didn't think I was a problem...
He nods in understanding, like he’s finally cracking some kind of riddle.
Then you’ll learn to. That way, forgiveness won’t feel so… out of place in your life.
... I'll try.
*They sigh and take a sip of their hot cocoa, looking down into the mug as they run their fingers through their hair.
“Trying” is a good word to use. Realistic, but still optimistic.
*Dess clicks the button to enter into the Zoom meeting with Kim, they look relaxed and pretty comfortable, thought they do have a blanket over their shoulders and a mug of what looks to be hot chocolate in their hand.
Hey, sorry I'm a little late. I had to wait for my cocoa to get done.
When Dess joins the call, Kim seems to be unexpectedly in the middle of a conversation. He’s mid sentence with whoever is off screen, his expression endeared but a bit annoyed. He hasn’t noticed Dess yet.
- in the dishwasher - thank you, dear, yes. Don’t worry about it.
Are you sure? I can -
You don’t have to do anything, I can handle a single chore.
But don’t you have to go out after work too?
… Yes. But again, I know my limits, I can do it.
Can I at least find another chore to do?
Kim pinches the bridge of his nose, his glasses lifting above his fingers.
Harry, please -
Um... Kim? I um... you need some more time? I can come back in a little bit...
*Dess quickly puts their mug down and freezes a bit, not sure if it's better to leave the call or keep trying to get Kim's attention. One of their hands moves to their mouse, hovering over the disconnect button and ready to type out an apology for butting into the conversation if Kim still doesn't notice.
The moment Dess speaks up the second time, Kim jumps and looks to the computer. In a rush, he leans off camera and wildly gestures for the other person to get out of the room.
The door can be heard closing as Kim returns, now finally alone but sporting a pair of red embarrassed ears.
… Hello, December.
Hey... I'm sorry, I should've just left and sent you a message asking to tell me when you're ready...
I'm guessing that's your husband? He um... seems like a nice guy. Fwehehe...
*Dess seems equally embarrassed. They've never liked walking into the middle of an argument, and something about Harry wanting to be helpful, maybe too helpful, hits Dess a bit hard.
… So you heard some of our conversation. Right.
No, no - it’s my mistake. I’m your therapist, I’m meant to avoid distraction, even when you’re late. What I have done is technically very unethical, and I apologize deeply.
… It was. He is… We’re not here to talk about me, never mind.
I... don't think it's unethical to talk to your husband about stuff. I was late, you thought you had time... I'll send a message before I jump into the call next time. It's not like your life revolves around our sessions, fwahaha!
Yeah, I guess you're right ... I'm ready if you are, doc.
The corner of his mouth twitches, but not at the threat of a smile, but at the threat of a change in routine.
However you would like to, we shall.
Right. So, as always, how have things been since our last session?
*Dess doesn't notice, picking up their cocoa and taking a sip.
It's been okay. I've been trying to be more... relaxed, I guess is the right word? Letting things be what they are and stuff. Talked to a friend of mine, Clara, and my girlfriend Jude last night. Like... totally different conversations.
Clara was talking about putting USB ports and stuff into her, she's a cyborg like me, and Jude and I talked about... well, just stuff. Ceiling textures, frogs, trying to figure out the best way she learns, and then I fell asleep while she sent be pictures of fish.
He seems to finally relax a little as Dess starts talking.
Jude is your other partner, correct? It sounds as though your relationship with her is much less of a worry than your relationship with Emma.
They're both not bad, but... yeah, Jude is a lot more laid back most of the time. She tends to stay in the condo most of the time, she doesn't go out much, and well... She doesn't know a lot of stuff. Like, world stuff I mean. She's curious about things, and she asks a lot of questions, but she's also really out spoken and she'll tell you what's on her mind like... 95% of the time.
She's also just... friendly. Too friendly sometimes, but she's working on it. Em and I really love her a lot.
… Ah. You speak highly of her, it seems.
So has Jude already forgiven you for your… We’ll call it your paintball incident?
Yeah, she was one of the first people who I got close with after coming to Hell.
She did, yeah... I spent that night helping get her clean and making sure she was okay. She forgave me so fast, it felt scary...
Is quick forgiveness not something she tends to do?
... Yeah, it's just... I don't know. I guess there's just a lot going on in my head about it, and it feels like she should still be mad at me when she's not.
Hm… Don’t worry, that is a common feeling. Sometimes when you’re forgiven quickly, it can feel even less that you deserve it.
Yeah, exactly! And it was only a little bit after Em and I fought, so I thought it was going to end with Jude blowing up at me too. It... felt weird having one person yelling at you because of something you did, and the other person just... forgive you right off the bat.
It's like... It's like it makes it worse. It makes me feel like I could keep just... getting away with it, when I know I can't... And that if I did she'd end up getting hurt, and we'd be back to...
... Yeah, it's weird...
This is not a unique experience, if that soothes you. It is common to want forgiveness to be earned rather than generously given.
… Do you feel Jude shouldn’t have been so quick to forgive?
... Honestly, I don't think so. I feel like she should've been more upset with me, I gave that little asshole who hurt her a paintball gun. Like... How can she bounce back so quickly and just... Forgive me?
Even if I didn't mean to hurt her, I still did...
He snaps his fingers suddenly, but doesn’t elaborate past that. He’s sure Dess understands the drill by now - that tone of voice isn’t welcome as long as he’s around.
It’s true that intention doesn’t always matter when you hurt someone you care about, but that entirely depends on the person. It sounds as though Jude is not the sort to hold grudges, and cares about you quite a lot, and therefore finds it difficult to hold most anything against you.
… I’d like to know more about her. She sounds fascinating. But anyhow…
Getting over forgiveness is difficult, but it’s possible. You simply have to learn to accept the person who so easily accepts you, even when you can’t accept yourself.
*Dess freezes, then shakes their head before nodding. It seems like a sort of physical stim to try and get their mind out of that kind of place.
Honestly, the only people I've ever seen get hold grudges over are the people who continuously fuck with her.
It's ... Just difficult to think like that for me, I guess. I'm not used to having someone forgive me that quickly, who didn't think I was a problem...
He nods in understanding, like he’s finally cracking some kind of riddle.
Then you’ll learn to. That way, forgiveness won’t feel so… out of place in your life.
*Dess clicks the button to enter into the Zoom meeting with Kim, they look relaxed and pretty comfortable, thought they do have a blanket over their shoulders and a mug of what looks to be hot chocolate in their hand.
Hey, sorry I'm a little late. I had to wait for my cocoa to get done.
When Dess joins the call, Kim seems to be unexpectedly in the middle of a conversation. He’s mid sentence with whoever is off screen, his expression endeared but a bit annoyed. He hasn’t noticed Dess yet.
- in the dishwasher - thank you, dear, yes. Don’t worry about it.
Are you sure? I can -
You don’t have to do anything, I can handle a single chore.
But don’t you have to go out after work too?
… Yes. But again, I know my limits, I can do it.
Can I at least find another chore to do?
Kim pinches the bridge of his nose, his glasses lifting above his fingers.
Harry, please -
Um... Kim? I um... you need some more time? I can come back in a little bit...
*Dess quickly puts their mug down and freezes a bit, not sure if it's better to leave the call or keep trying to get Kim's attention. One of their hands moves to their mouse, hovering over the disconnect button and ready to type out an apology for butting into the conversation if Kim still doesn't notice.
The moment Dess speaks up the second time, Kim jumps and looks to the computer. In a rush, he leans off camera and wildly gestures for the other person to get out of the room.
The door can be heard closing as Kim returns, now finally alone but sporting a pair of red embarrassed ears.
… Hello, December.
Hey... I'm sorry, I should've just left and sent you a message asking to tell me when you're ready...
I'm guessing that's your husband? He um... seems like a nice guy. Fwehehe...
*Dess seems equally embarrassed. They've never liked walking into the middle of an argument, and something about Harry wanting to be helpful, maybe too helpful, hits Dess a bit hard.
… So you heard some of our conversation. Right.
No, no - it’s my mistake. I’m your therapist, I’m meant to avoid distraction, even when you’re late. What I have done is technically very unethical, and I apologize deeply.
… It was. He is… We’re not here to talk about me, never mind.
I... don't think it's unethical to talk to your husband about stuff. I was late, you thought you had time... I'll send a message before I jump into the call next time. It's not like your life revolves around our sessions, fwahaha!
Yeah, I guess you're right ... I'm ready if you are, doc.
The corner of his mouth twitches, but not at the threat of a smile, but at the threat of a change in routine.
However you would like to, we shall.
Right. So, as always, how have things been since our last session?
*Dess doesn't notice, picking up their cocoa and taking a sip.
It's been okay. I've been trying to be more... relaxed, I guess is the right word? Letting things be what they are and stuff. Talked to a friend of mine, Clara, and my girlfriend Jude last night. Like... totally different conversations.
Clara was talking about putting USB ports and stuff into her, she's a cyborg like me, and Jude and I talked about... well, just stuff. Ceiling textures, frogs, trying to figure out the best way she learns, and then I fell asleep while she sent be pictures of fish.
He seems to finally relax a little as Dess starts talking.
Jude is your other partner, correct? It sounds as though your relationship with her is much less of a worry than your relationship with Emma.
They're both not bad, but... yeah, Jude is a lot more laid back most of the time. She tends to stay in the condo most of the time, she doesn't go out much, and well... She doesn't know a lot of stuff. Like, world stuff I mean. She's curious about things, and she asks a lot of questions, but she's also really out spoken and she'll tell you what's on her mind like... 95% of the time.
She's also just... friendly. Too friendly sometimes, but she's working on it. Em and I really love her a lot.
… Ah. You speak highly of her, it seems.
So has Jude already forgiven you for your… We’ll call it your paintball incident?
Yeah, she was one of the first people who I got close with after coming to Hell.
She did, yeah... I spent that night helping get her clean and making sure she was okay. She forgave me so fast, it felt scary...
Is quick forgiveness not something she tends to do?
... Yeah, it's just... I don't know. I guess there's just a lot going on in my head about it, and it feels like she should still be mad at me when she's not.
Hm… Don’t worry, that is a common feeling. Sometimes when you’re forgiven quickly, it can feel even less that you deserve it.
Yeah, exactly! And it was only a little bit after Em and I fought, so I thought it was going to end with Jude blowing up at me too. It... felt weird having one person yelling at you because of something you did, and the other person just... forgive you right off the bat.
It's like... It's like it makes it worse. It makes me feel like I could keep just... getting away with it, when I know I can't... And that if I did she'd end up getting hurt, and we'd be back to...
... Yeah, it's weird...
This is not a unique experience, if that soothes you. It is common to want forgiveness to be earned rather than generously given.
… Do you feel Jude shouldn’t have been so quick to forgive?
... Honestly, I don't think so. I feel like she should've been more upset with me, I gave that little asshole who hurt her a paintball gun. Like... How can she bounce back so quickly and just... Forgive me?
Even if I didn't mean to hurt her, I still did...
He snaps his fingers suddenly, but doesn’t elaborate past that. He’s sure Dess understands the drill by now - that tone of voice isn’t welcome as long as he’s around.
It’s true that intention doesn’t always matter when you hurt someone you care about, but that entirely depends on the person. It sounds as though Jude is not the sort to hold grudges, and cares about you quite a lot, and therefore finds it difficult to hold most anything against you.
… I’d like to know more about her. She sounds fascinating. But anyhow…
Getting over forgiveness is difficult, but it’s possible. You simply have to learn to accept the person who so easily accepts you, even when you can’t accept yourself.
*Dess clicks the button to enter into the Zoom meeting with Kim, they look relaxed and pretty comfortable, thought they do have a blanket over their shoulders and a mug of what looks to be hot chocolate in their hand.
Hey, sorry I'm a little late. I had to wait for my cocoa to get done.
When Dess joins the call, Kim seems to be unexpectedly in the middle of a conversation. He’s mid sentence with whoever is off screen, his expression endeared but a bit annoyed. He hasn’t noticed Dess yet.
- in the dishwasher - thank you, dear, yes. Don’t worry about it.
Are you sure? I can -
You don’t have to do anything, I can handle a single chore.
But don’t you have to go out after work too?
… Yes. But again, I know my limits, I can do it.
Can I at least find another chore to do?
Kim pinches the bridge of his nose, his glasses lifting above his fingers.
Harry, please -
Um... Kim? I um... you need some more time? I can come back in a little bit...
*Dess quickly puts their mug down and freezes a bit, not sure if it's better to leave the call or keep trying to get Kim's attention. One of their hands moves to their mouse, hovering over the disconnect button and ready to type out an apology for butting into the conversation if Kim still doesn't notice.
The moment Dess speaks up the second time, Kim jumps and looks to the computer. In a rush, he leans off camera and wildly gestures for the other person to get out of the room.
The door can be heard closing as Kim returns, now finally alone but sporting a pair of red embarrassed ears.
… Hello, December.
Hey... I'm sorry, I should've just left and sent you a message asking to tell me when you're ready...
I'm guessing that's your husband? He um... seems like a nice guy. Fwehehe...
*Dess seems equally embarrassed. They've never liked walking into the middle of an argument, and something about Harry wanting to be helpful, maybe too helpful, hits Dess a bit hard.
… So you heard some of our conversation. Right.
No, no - it’s my mistake. I’m your therapist, I’m meant to avoid distraction, even when you’re late. What I have done is technically very unethical, and I apologize deeply.
… It was. He is… We’re not here to talk about me, never mind.
I... don't think it's unethical to talk to your husband about stuff. I was late, you thought you had time... I'll send a message before I jump into the call next time. It's not like your life revolves around our sessions, fwahaha!
Yeah, I guess you're right ... I'm ready if you are, doc.
The corner of his mouth twitches, but not at the threat of a smile, but at the threat of a change in routine.
However you would like to, we shall.
Right. So, as always, how have things been since our last session?
*Dess doesn't notice, picking up their cocoa and taking a sip.
It's been okay. I've been trying to be more... relaxed, I guess is the right word? Letting things be what they are and stuff. Talked to a friend of mine, Clara, and my girlfriend Jude last night. Like... totally different conversations.
Clara was talking about putting USB ports and stuff into her, she's a cyborg like me, and Jude and I talked about... well, just stuff. Ceiling textures, frogs, trying to figure out the best way she learns, and then I fell asleep while she sent be pictures of fish.
He seems to finally relax a little as Dess starts talking.
Jude is your other partner, correct? It sounds as though your relationship with her is much less of a worry than your relationship with Emma.
They're both not bad, but... yeah, Jude is a lot more laid back most of the time. She tends to stay in the condo most of the time, she doesn't go out much, and well... She doesn't know a lot of stuff. Like, world stuff I mean. She's curious about things, and she asks a lot of questions, but she's also really out spoken and she'll tell you what's on her mind like... 95% of the time.
She's also just... friendly. Too friendly sometimes, but she's working on it. Em and I really love her a lot.
… Ah. You speak highly of her, it seems.
So has Jude already forgiven you for your… We’ll call it your paintball incident?
Yeah, she was one of the first people who I got close with after coming to Hell.
She did, yeah... I spent that night helping get her clean and making sure she was okay. She forgave me so fast, it felt scary...
Is quick forgiveness not something she tends to do?
... Yeah, it's just... I don't know. I guess there's just a lot going on in my head about it, and it feels like she should still be mad at me when she's not.
Hm… Don’t worry, that is a common feeling. Sometimes when you’re forgiven quickly, it can feel even less that you deserve it.
Yeah, exactly! And it was only a little bit after Em and I fought, so I thought it was going to end with Jude blowing up at me too. It... felt weird having one person yelling at you because of something you did, and the other person just... forgive you right off the bat.
It's like... It's like it makes it worse. It makes me feel like I could keep just... getting away with it, when I know I can't... And that if I did she'd end up getting hurt, and we'd be back to...
... Yeah, it's weird...
This is not a unique experience, if that soothes you. It is common to want forgiveness to be earned rather than generously given.
… Do you feel Jude shouldn’t have been so quick to forgive?
*Dess clicks the button to enter into the Zoom meeting with Kim, they look relaxed and pretty comfortable, thought they do have a blanket over their shoulders and a mug of what looks to be hot chocolate in their hand.
Hey, sorry I'm a little late. I had to wait for my cocoa to get done.
When Dess joins the call, Kim seems to be unexpectedly in the middle of a conversation. He’s mid sentence with whoever is off screen, his expression endeared but a bit annoyed. He hasn’t noticed Dess yet.
- in the dishwasher - thank you, dear, yes. Don’t worry about it.
Are you sure? I can -
You don’t have to do anything, I can handle a single chore.
But don’t you have to go out after work too?
… Yes. But again, I know my limits, I can do it.
Can I at least find another chore to do?
Kim pinches the bridge of his nose, his glasses lifting above his fingers.
Harry, please -
Um... Kim? I um... you need some more time? I can come back in a little bit...
*Dess quickly puts their mug down and freezes a bit, not sure if it's better to leave the call or keep trying to get Kim's attention. One of their hands moves to their mouse, hovering over the disconnect button and ready to type out an apology for butting into the conversation if Kim still doesn't notice.
The moment Dess speaks up the second time, Kim jumps and looks to the computer. In a rush, he leans off camera and wildly gestures for the other person to get out of the room.
The door can be heard closing as Kim returns, now finally alone but sporting a pair of red embarrassed ears.
… Hello, December.
Hey... I'm sorry, I should've just left and sent you a message asking to tell me when you're ready...
I'm guessing that's your husband? He um... seems like a nice guy. Fwehehe...
*Dess seems equally embarrassed. They've never liked walking into the middle of an argument, and something about Harry wanting to be helpful, maybe too helpful, hits Dess a bit hard.
… So you heard some of our conversation. Right.
No, no - it’s my mistake. I’m your therapist, I’m meant to avoid distraction, even when you’re late. What I have done is technically very unethical, and I apologize deeply.
… It was. He is… We’re not here to talk about me, never mind.
I... don't think it's unethical to talk to your husband about stuff. I was late, you thought you had time... I'll send a message before I jump into the call next time. It's not like your life revolves around our sessions, fwahaha!
Yeah, I guess you're right ... I'm ready if you are, doc.
The corner of his mouth twitches, but not at the threat of a smile, but at the threat of a change in routine.
However you would like to, we shall.
Right. So, as always, how have things been since our last session?
*Dess doesn't notice, picking up their cocoa and taking a sip.
It's been okay. I've been trying to be more... relaxed, I guess is the right word? Letting things be what they are and stuff. Talked to a friend of mine, Clara, and my girlfriend Jude last night. Like... totally different conversations.
Clara was talking about putting USB ports and stuff into her, she's a cyborg like me, and Jude and I talked about... well, just stuff. Ceiling textures, frogs, trying to figure out the best way she learns, and then I fell asleep while she sent be pictures of fish.
He seems to finally relax a little as Dess starts talking.
Jude is your other partner, correct? It sounds as though your relationship with her is much less of a worry than your relationship with Emma.
They're both not bad, but... yeah, Jude is a lot more laid back most of the time. She tends to stay in the condo most of the time, she doesn't go out much, and well... She doesn't know a lot of stuff. Like, world stuff I mean. She's curious about things, and she asks a lot of questions, but she's also really out spoken and she'll tell you what's on her mind like... 95% of the time.
She's also just... friendly. Too friendly sometimes, but she's working on it. Em and I really love her a lot.
… Ah. You speak highly of her, it seems.
So has Jude already forgiven you for your… We’ll call it your paintball incident?
Yeah, she was one of the first people who I got close with after coming to Hell.
She did, yeah... I spent that night helping get her clean and making sure she was okay. She forgave me so fast, it felt scary...
Is quick forgiveness not something she tends to do?
... Yeah, it's just... I don't know. I guess there's just a lot going on in my head about it, and it feels like she should still be mad at me when she's not.
Hm… Don’t worry, that is a common feeling. Sometimes when you’re forgiven quickly, it can feel even less that you deserve it.
*Dess clicks the button to enter into the Zoom meeting with Kim, they look relaxed and pretty comfortable, thought they do have a blanket over their shoulders and a mug of what looks to be hot chocolate in their hand.
Hey, sorry I'm a little late. I had to wait for my cocoa to get done.
When Dess joins the call, Kim seems to be unexpectedly in the middle of a conversation. He’s mid sentence with whoever is off screen, his expression endeared but a bit annoyed. He hasn’t noticed Dess yet.
- in the dishwasher - thank you, dear, yes. Don’t worry about it.
Are you sure? I can -
You don’t have to do anything, I can handle a single chore.
But don’t you have to go out after work too?
… Yes. But again, I know my limits, I can do it.
Can I at least find another chore to do?
Kim pinches the bridge of his nose, his glasses lifting above his fingers.
Harry, please -
Um... Kim? I um... you need some more time? I can come back in a little bit...
*Dess quickly puts their mug down and freezes a bit, not sure if it's better to leave the call or keep trying to get Kim's attention. One of their hands moves to their mouse, hovering over the disconnect button and ready to type out an apology for butting into the conversation if Kim still doesn't notice.
The moment Dess speaks up the second time, Kim jumps and looks to the computer. In a rush, he leans off camera and wildly gestures for the other person to get out of the room.
The door can be heard closing as Kim returns, now finally alone but sporting a pair of red embarrassed ears.
… Hello, December.
Hey... I'm sorry, I should've just left and sent you a message asking to tell me when you're ready...
I'm guessing that's your husband? He um... seems like a nice guy. Fwehehe...
*Dess seems equally embarrassed. They've never liked walking into the middle of an argument, and something about Harry wanting to be helpful, maybe too helpful, hits Dess a bit hard.
… So you heard some of our conversation. Right.
No, no - it’s my mistake. I’m your therapist, I’m meant to avoid distraction, even when you’re late. What I have done is technically very unethical, and I apologize deeply.
… It was. He is… We’re not here to talk about me, never mind.
I... don't think it's unethical to talk to your husband about stuff. I was late, you thought you had time... I'll send a message before I jump into the call next time. It's not like your life revolves around our sessions, fwahaha!
Yeah, I guess you're right ... I'm ready if you are, doc.
The corner of his mouth twitches, but not at the threat of a smile, but at the threat of a change in routine.
However you would like to, we shall.
Right. So, as always, how have things been since our last session?
*Dess doesn't notice, picking up their cocoa and taking a sip.
It's been okay. I've been trying to be more... relaxed, I guess is the right word? Letting things be what they are and stuff. Talked to a friend of mine, Clara, and my girlfriend Jude last night. Like... totally different conversations.
Clara was talking about putting USB ports and stuff into her, she's a cyborg like me, and Jude and I talked about... well, just stuff. Ceiling textures, frogs, trying to figure out the best way she learns, and then I fell asleep while she sent be pictures of fish.
He seems to finally relax a little as Dess starts talking.
Jude is your other partner, correct? It sounds as though your relationship with her is much less of a worry than your relationship with Emma.
They're both not bad, but... yeah, Jude is a lot more laid back most of the time. She tends to stay in the condo most of the time, she doesn't go out much, and well... She doesn't know a lot of stuff. Like, world stuff I mean. She's curious about things, and she asks a lot of questions, but she's also really out spoken and she'll tell you what's on her mind like... 95% of the time.
She's also just... friendly. Too friendly sometimes, but she's working on it. Em and I really love her a lot.
… Ah. You speak highly of her, it seems.
So has Jude already forgiven you for your… We’ll call it your paintball incident?
Yeah, she was one of the first people who I got close with after coming to Hell.
She did, yeah... I spent that night helping get her clean and making sure she was okay. She forgave me so fast, it felt scary...
Is quick forgiveness not something she tends to do?
*Dess clicks the button to enter into the Zoom meeting with Kim, they look relaxed and pretty comfortable, thought they do have a blanket over their shoulders and a mug of what looks to be hot chocolate in their hand.
Hey, sorry I'm a little late. I had to wait for my cocoa to get done.
When Dess joins the call, Kim seems to be unexpectedly in the middle of a conversation. He’s mid sentence with whoever is off screen, his expression endeared but a bit annoyed. He hasn’t noticed Dess yet.
- in the dishwasher - thank you, dear, yes. Don’t worry about it.
Are you sure? I can -
You don’t have to do anything, I can handle a single chore.
But don’t you have to go out after work too?
… Yes. But again, I know my limits, I can do it.
Can I at least find another chore to do?
Kim pinches the bridge of his nose, his glasses lifting above his fingers.
Harry, please -
Um... Kim? I um... you need some more time? I can come back in a little bit...
*Dess quickly puts their mug down and freezes a bit, not sure if it's better to leave the call or keep trying to get Kim's attention. One of their hands moves to their mouse, hovering over the disconnect button and ready to type out an apology for butting into the conversation if Kim still doesn't notice.
The moment Dess speaks up the second time, Kim jumps and looks to the computer. In a rush, he leans off camera and wildly gestures for the other person to get out of the room.
The door can be heard closing as Kim returns, now finally alone but sporting a pair of red embarrassed ears.
… Hello, December.
Hey... I'm sorry, I should've just left and sent you a message asking to tell me when you're ready...
I'm guessing that's your husband? He um... seems like a nice guy. Fwehehe...
*Dess seems equally embarrassed. They've never liked walking into the middle of an argument, and something about Harry wanting to be helpful, maybe too helpful, hits Dess a bit hard.
… So you heard some of our conversation. Right.
No, no - it’s my mistake. I’m your therapist, I’m meant to avoid distraction, even when you’re late. What I have done is technically very unethical, and I apologize deeply.
… It was. He is… We’re not here to talk about me, never mind.
I... don't think it's unethical to talk to your husband about stuff. I was late, you thought you had time... I'll send a message before I jump into the call next time. It's not like your life revolves around our sessions, fwahaha!
Yeah, I guess you're right ... I'm ready if you are, doc.
The corner of his mouth twitches, but not at the threat of a smile, but at the threat of a change in routine.
However you would like to, we shall.
Right. So, as always, how have things been since our last session?
*Dess doesn't notice, picking up their cocoa and taking a sip.
It's been okay. I've been trying to be more... relaxed, I guess is the right word? Letting things be what they are and stuff. Talked to a friend of mine, Clara, and my girlfriend Jude last night. Like... totally different conversations.
Clara was talking about putting USB ports and stuff into her, she's a cyborg like me, and Jude and I talked about... well, just stuff. Ceiling textures, frogs, trying to figure out the best way she learns, and then I fell asleep while she sent be pictures of fish.
He seems to finally relax a little as Dess starts talking.
Jude is your other partner, correct? It sounds as though your relationship with her is much less of a worry than your relationship with Emma.
They're both not bad, but... yeah, Jude is a lot more laid back most of the time. She tends to stay in the condo most of the time, she doesn't go out much, and well... She doesn't know a lot of stuff. Like, world stuff I mean. She's curious about things, and she asks a lot of questions, but she's also really out spoken and she'll tell you what's on her mind like... 95% of the time.
She's also just... friendly. Too friendly sometimes, but she's working on it. Em and I really love her a lot.
… Ah. You speak highly of her, it seems.
So has Jude already forgiven you for your… We’ll call it your paintball incident?
*Dess clicks the button to enter into the Zoom meeting with Kim, they look relaxed and pretty comfortable, thought they do have a blanket over their shoulders and a mug of what looks to be hot chocolate in their hand.
Hey, sorry I'm a little late. I had to wait for my cocoa to get done.
When Dess joins the call, Kim seems to be unexpectedly in the middle of a conversation. He’s mid sentence with whoever is off screen, his expression endeared but a bit annoyed. He hasn’t noticed Dess yet.
- in the dishwasher - thank you, dear, yes. Don’t worry about it.
Are you sure? I can -
You don’t have to do anything, I can handle a single chore.
But don’t you have to go out after work too?
… Yes. But again, I know my limits, I can do it.
Can I at least find another chore to do?
Kim pinches the bridge of his nose, his glasses lifting above his fingers.
Harry, please -
Um... Kim? I um... you need some more time? I can come back in a little bit...
*Dess quickly puts their mug down and freezes a bit, not sure if it's better to leave the call or keep trying to get Kim's attention. One of their hands moves to their mouse, hovering over the disconnect button and ready to type out an apology for butting into the conversation if Kim still doesn't notice.
The moment Dess speaks up the second time, Kim jumps and looks to the computer. In a rush, he leans off camera and wildly gestures for the other person to get out of the room.
The door can be heard closing as Kim returns, now finally alone but sporting a pair of red embarrassed ears.
… Hello, December.
Hey... I'm sorry, I should've just left and sent you a message asking to tell me when you're ready...
I'm guessing that's your husband? He um... seems like a nice guy. Fwehehe...
*Dess seems equally embarrassed. They've never liked walking into the middle of an argument, and something about Harry wanting to be helpful, maybe too helpful, hits Dess a bit hard.
… So you heard some of our conversation. Right.
No, no - it’s my mistake. I’m your therapist, I’m meant to avoid distraction, even when you’re late. What I have done is technically very unethical, and I apologize deeply.
… It was. He is… We’re not here to talk about me, never mind.
I... don't think it's unethical to talk to your husband about stuff. I was late, you thought you had time... I'll send a message before I jump into the call next time. It's not like your life revolves around our sessions, fwahaha!
Yeah, I guess you're right ... I'm ready if you are, doc.
The corner of his mouth twitches, but not at the threat of a smile, but at the threat of a change in routine.
However you would like to, we shall.
Right. So, as always, how have things been since our last session?
*Dess doesn't notice, picking up their cocoa and taking a sip.
It's been okay. I've been trying to be more... relaxed, I guess is the right word? Letting things be what they are and stuff. Talked to a friend of mine, Clara, and my girlfriend Jude last night. Like... totally different conversations.
Clara was talking about putting USB ports and stuff into her, she's a cyborg like me, and Jude and I talked about... well, just stuff. Ceiling textures, frogs, trying to figure out the best way she learns, and then I fell asleep while she sent be pictures of fish.
He seems to finally relax a little as Dess starts talking.
Jude is your other partner, correct? It sounds as though your relationship with her is much less of a worry than your relationship with Emma.
*Dess clicks the button to enter into the Zoom meeting with Kim, they look relaxed and pretty comfortable, thought they do have a blanket over their shoulders and a mug of what looks to be hot chocolate in their hand.
Hey, sorry I'm a little late. I had to wait for my cocoa to get done.
When Dess joins the call, Kim seems to be unexpectedly in the middle of a conversation. He’s mid sentence with whoever is off screen, his expression endeared but a bit annoyed. He hasn’t noticed Dess yet.
- in the dishwasher - thank you, dear, yes. Don’t worry about it.
Are you sure? I can -
You don’t have to do anything, I can handle a single chore.
But don’t you have to go out after work too?
… Yes. But again, I know my limits, I can do it.
Can I at least find another chore to do?
Kim pinches the bridge of his nose, his glasses lifting above his fingers.
Harry, please -
Um... Kim? I um... you need some more time? I can come back in a little bit...
*Dess quickly puts their mug down and freezes a bit, not sure if it's better to leave the call or keep trying to get Kim's attention. One of their hands moves to their mouse, hovering over the disconnect button and ready to type out an apology for butting into the conversation if Kim still doesn't notice.
The moment Dess speaks up the second time, Kim jumps and looks to the computer. In a rush, he leans off camera and wildly gestures for the other person to get out of the room.
The door can be heard closing as Kim returns, now finally alone but sporting a pair of red embarrassed ears.
… Hello, December.
Hey... I'm sorry, I should've just left and sent you a message asking to tell me when you're ready...
I'm guessing that's your husband? He um... seems like a nice guy. Fwehehe...
*Dess seems equally embarrassed. They've never liked walking into the middle of an argument, and something about Harry wanting to be helpful, maybe too helpful, hits Dess a bit hard.
… So you heard some of our conversation. Right.
No, no - it’s my mistake. I’m your therapist, I’m meant to avoid distraction, even when you’re late. What I have done is technically very unethical, and I apologize deeply.
… It was. He is… We’re not here to talk about me, never mind.
I... don't think it's unethical to talk to your husband about stuff. I was late, you thought you had time... I'll send a message before I jump into the call next time. It's not like your life revolves around our sessions, fwahaha!
Yeah, I guess you're right ... I'm ready if you are, doc.
The corner of his mouth twitches, but not at the threat of a smile, but at the threat of a change in routine.
However you would like to, we shall.
Right. So, as always, how have things been since our last session?
