This is just my thoughts as everything gradually took place, so if you see a difference on what I took from the situation as we get further, that’s why. 😂 I also tried to go in and add some explanations to certain parts and terms that I used. 🙌🏾
So, what Tish and Angel has is a misaligned spiritually contract. No one necessarily has to have evil intent for it to be a bad contract.
(Tish) I read Tish as being someone who is unconsciously operating under a Glamour Spirit, which is rooted in access, status, beauty, and being admired rather than being seen and understood. This isn’t spell work though. She thrives in being adored, can’t be mutually vulnerable, and feels safe when she can be desired instead of challenged. She typically seeks after and attracts women who are impressed by her lifestyle, doesn’t demand emotional reciprocity, and just want to be chosen by her. The trips, access, gifts, and other forms of luxury are offerings. This is avoidance without benefits because she can create attachments without the necessary emotional ties and efforts. But this isn’t conscious manipulation.
If we look at the perspective of her ego, we could say that it is fuel by admiration, she’s underdeveloped in the world of intimacy, she’s devoted to love but doesn’t like entanglements. In Hoodoo, this would mean that Tish is not trying to build, but rather fed.
This is why if we look at the privacy aspect, we’d see that her and Angel operate on two different understandings of it.
(Angel) Now, Angel reads as someone who is hungry. In Hoodoo, we could say that she is hungry for certainty, reassurance, security, and simply being chosen. The point of her possibly meeting Tish as a fan matters spiritually because it creates an imbalance, a hierarchy, and a built in altar.
In hoodoo, words bind. So, things like marriage talk, wife, “forever”, and public claiming, would be considered soft binding, whether it’s intentional or not. It creates guilt, obligation, and a moral obligation. She could make it seem like if Tish doesn’t step into this desired future with her, that she’s taking something away from her. Tish will feel like she’s responsible for how devoted Angel is to her (getting her name tattooed and arguing with her fanbase), which is more psychological than spiritual. It will only create withdrawal on Tish’s end.
Hoodoo wise, relationships fail when one person is being fed and the other is receiving. Angel receives status, access, fulfillment of her fantasy/desire, and a sense of security (which she obviously doesn’t think she has). The problem is that neither one of them is being fed what their soul truly needs and that creates instability.
Angel has an Anxious-Avoidant Attachment style. (Anxious-preoccupied style) = A pattern within romantic relationships that revolves around the deep fear of abandonment. She’s emotionally expressive and sees closeness and security through symbols like tattoos, marriage talk, “wife,” “we,” etc. it’s a lot of identity blending going on there. The constant fixation on marriage is a way for her to lock the desired bond down early, so that it won't be abandoned or taken away. This is more on the relentless scale of things, with the subtle pressure on it in their relationship, making Tish feel regretful for “not being serious” about their relationship. It makes you wonder who really brought up marriage during their first conversation.
Tish has a fearful avoidant attachment style. She likes controlled intimacy, prefers to focus more on the present connection she has with women, and likes to compartmentalize roles. This would explain why they’re together because avoidant partners like partners who are devoted and are intense, while anxious partners like partners who can give them status and recognition through any means that aligns with who they are. In Tish’s case, she’s a celebrity who has attracted someone who likes attention and status.
By Angel meeting Tish as a fan, she created what’s call a fantasy bond (relationship psychologist, Robert Firestone, coined this concept), which is when you create a reality of your relationship based on an illusion rather than emotional intimacy. This also aligns with Sigmund Freud’s (fantasy) idealization theory. Fantasy Bond + Power Imbalance. (Fantasy Idealization) = Sigmund Freud’s defense mechanism “Idealization,” which is the process of projecting your unrealistic views onto someone, creating a disconnect between their flaws and their perfectionism, and creating this idea of a perfect future with them. Angel doesn't see Tish as just a peer or possibly even a person, but more so a celebrity. This is due to Angel meeting Tish as a fan, thereby disrupting the normal dynamic that they could have had. Age comes into play in the power imbalance, as well as in their respective life stages and career trajectories.
Some of their imbalances aside from where they are in life is that Angel is more emotionally invested, publicly expressive, and has more to lose if they don’t work out, while Tish controls the access and pace, isn’t as public about it, and can quietly release herself from the relationship public wise. This would basically cause Angel to try and escalate what she’s already done and cause Tish to withdraw from it because that’s what feels safe to each of them.
If we look at the privacy aspect, their privacy is more of a negotiation rather than a shared vision or value for their relationship. Tish has the control aspect of privacy, in terms of controlling the pace, the narrative, her own public image and bodily autonomy, etc., while Angel has the need for reassurance in their relationship because, to her, she has security in being visible, the public acknowledgement of their relationship shows the legitimacy of their relationship, and her being posted shows that Tish chooses her. But neither of them are reinforcing their boundaries clearly which only sends mixed signals.
The whole relationship stems from the fact that Angel doesn’t have security within her relationship. She’s insecure about it. Angel is treating this relationship as hers to display and narrate, not something that is mutually agreed upon. All of what she’s doing is a form of self regulation. The posting, sending me private pictures and videos, sending me and posting intimate moments of her and Tish is to manage her anxiety and insecurity. Intimacy is being shared and circulated without spiritual agreement. This would be a method of seeking external validation aka attention. Other people’s reactions calm the internal fear that she has about the bond that her a Tish has isn’t secure. She was VERY intentional about choosing me specifically.
Angel is performing the relationship while Tish is containing it. In Hoodoo, Angel would be ownership signing by hiding Tish’s face, which is also possession energy. Angel is more invested in the relationship than she can take. It’s obvious that their relationship isn’t as defined on Tish’s end as it is on hers. All the shit she does is to show proximity. She’s overcompensating for what isn’t there and that’s why she is controlling the narrative about them. Angel is doing timeline magic. She lies and exaggerates narratives. This would also be a form of Cognitive Dissonance Reduction. It reduces the anxiety of the reality of what they are. She’s scared that Tish and other people will see the through what is actually going on. In my opinion, things like this can lead to her making Tish feel as though she didn’t love hard enough if things were to end between them.
Psychologically, this would be crisis appropriation and identity merging under stress. She feels insecure, is scared of being discarded, wants to feel chosen, and wants legitimacy and concern. This would explain why she inserted herself into an existing narrative of being stalked by over identifying with Tish’s own trauma, and because she liked me being concerned about her. I also believe this is why she didn’t message me and just sat back and watched Nosy talk in my ask box about stalking Tish. She didn’t have anything to say because Nosy didn’t see her as a threat, due to them not knowing she existed until after everyone else saw Tish’s repost.
Angel is also narrative claiming, and I unknowingly validated the narrative for her. Narrative claiming in this case would be her declaring a bond into existence before it became a mutual understanding. The truth about their relationship is what is witnessed and named, but not what’s actually happening or felt. If Tish just asked her to be her girlfriend officially in December, then August was just a fantasy for her. In spiritual terms, this would mean that Angel wants to legitimize what she wants her and Tish to have, make the relationship seem longer and deeper, and protect her self from the thoughts of the relationship moving shower than she anticipated. It’s a way to self sooth herself by distorting the relationship, which only makes it more difficult and fucked up.
Now, with the whole thing about wanting to be proposed to instead of proposing is important as hell. Angel’s fixation on it shows, again, the desire to be chosen by Tish, but also not to choose Tish herself. She wants to bound to instead of her doing the binding herself. I think this is because she fears the risk of rejection from Tish due to her deep down knowing the reality of their relationship. She’d feel like she was destined to be with Tish if Tish proposes to her. It’s the fear of abandonment and the desire to have proximity to Tish as a person (maybe even a celebrity if we’re being honest). The whole “We’re getting married whether she likes it or not” is possession language. In hoodoo, this would be seen as joking about taking someone’s free will, which ain’t nothing to joke about. Once again, seating without a sense of mutual agreement, ownership without consent, and binding without any form of reciprocity. She’s desperate for control of the narrative. She just doesn’t realize that this would only push Tish away by her already being seen as an avoidant. Angel doesn’t recognize boundaries at all and it’s not helping anyone if Tish hasn’t set them in place.
In hoodoo, bonds are created through shared caretaking and experiences. Angel allegedly co-parenting a dog with a possible ex would be what’s called a Residual Soul Tie = the deep spiritual and emotional energy and connection that is left after the ending of a previous relationship. This only keeps the connection alive especially with her possibly having this ex’s name previously tattooed on her then covering it up. She’s desperately trying to run to the next altar (being a wife, marriage, being chosen, etc).
Now Angel being defensive about everything would be her trying to control the impression that everyone has about her, and helps her reassert the narrative, but she doesn’t recognize that this only makes it seem less secure. She didn’t address me because she couldn’t. To her, how I feel or my stance about their relationship carries more weight and importance over her. People usually defend themselves against attacks, not truths that they can’t face. She avoids those that see her inconsistencies, which would be me. I know her contradictions, timelines, and other things. She wouldn’t be able to suppress the cognitive dissonance that comes with addressing me. Psychologically, I’m “dangerous” to her fantasy and narrative because she can’t control and contain me like she can do with others. It’s easier to argue with those who “don’t matter.” It helps control her own fear.
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