HIHI GUYSSSS!!! this will be a lil introduction thingy abt me and my likes, interests, etc. this acc is nsfw!! men do not interact plspls!! also, im new to tumblr and don't know how to work anything rlly so bare w me as i navigate around tumblr.. i will slowly begin to write first on here, whether it be one shots, full ass fics, etc. i do have limits though as to what i will write and i will not. u can ask me anything, it can be nsfw, or sfw, and suggest ideas and ill write it! even if u give me thoughts of your own, ill reply to it with ideas of my own.
✧ ﹕ 𝖆𝖇𝖔𝖚𝖙 ◟ .ᐟ im bri, 18 yrs old, she / her, sub, maybe can dom, lesbian, i'm canadian, learning korean!
✧ ﹕ 𝖗𝖔𝖑𝖊 ◟ .ᐟ i can switch sometimes to dom depending on who im with, and the mood or moment but mainly sub.
✧ ﹕ 𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖔𝖒 𝖋𝖆𝖈𝖙𝖘 ◟ .ᐟ im OBSESSED with jmj & jaeyi & seulgi currently, they're my babies and mls!! my fav colors pink or black or purple... i have freckles, i can bend my fingers rlly far #alien 👽 i can move my ears somehow..
✧ ﹕ 𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖙𝖘 ◟ .ᐟ i love cats, gaming, roblox, listening to music, walking, watching tv shows, movies, calling, kdramas, reading mangas/smut. i like many diff genres of music such as indie, pop, dark r&b, etc!! (ask for more interests!!)
✧ ﹕ 𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖘𝖔𝖓𝖆𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖞 ◟ .ᐟ im really hyper, LOVE typing in caps, being silly and freaky. im NEVER dry trust!! unless i dunno im sad.. online i love meeting new friends and socializing while sometimes having alone time!! but irl im different unless I'm with friends who like to interact first :3 my mbti is ESFP as of recently., although i have tested for ISFP two times before and my most last mbti is ISTP. i think of myself as a loud introvert who adapts to my surroundings. i can be too hyper or freaky or too emotional, or even js yap sometimes so lmk if it bothers u i can be clingy too depending on who u r and how long we've known eachother.
✧ ﹕ 𝖐𝖎𝖓𝖐𝖘 ◟ .ᐟ mommy kink, praise kink, degradation kink, petnames, humiliation, pet play, voice kink, dacryphillia, overstimulation, edging, humillation, spanking, slapping, cnc, hitting, mock sympathy, condescending praise, hair pulling, spit, bondage, i have a HUGE thing for breastfeeding and boobs, older women, being babied, somnophillia, humping, corruption kink.
✧ ﹕ 𝖌𝖗𝖔𝖚𝖕𝖘 ◟ .ᐟ my ult groups are ateez, skz, aespa, twice!! my reg stan groups are zerobaseone, txt, enhypen, svt, illit, hearts2hearts, cortis, ive, le sserafim, katseye. (ik not kpop exactly..)
before unboxing: smut drabble, tit fucking (?), loveable jimin, fairly short smut tbh, orgasm, established relationship, boobs boobs boobs Ok
notes from the staff— just something small since i’ve been on a roll
the air is thick with want when jimin finally gets you exactly where she wants you, spread out on her bed like an offering, skin flushed and breathing uneven. she's stripped herself bare too, and god, the sight of her makes your mouth go dry.
"unnie..." you whimper, reaching for her, but she catches your wrists with a knowing smile.
"patience, nae sarang," she purrs, and there's something deliciously wicked in the way her eyes trace over your naked form. her breasts sway slightly as she moves to position herself between your thighs, and you can't help but stare.
jimin notices, of course she does. "you like what you see, jagiya?"
you nod dumbly because what else can you do when confronted with such perfection? she laughs, low and sultry, and then she's lowering herself, and you think she's going to use her fingers or her mouth but instead…
"ah—!" the noise tears from your throat when you feel the soft, warm weight of her breast drag along your inner thigh, getting closer and closer to where you're absolutely dripping.
"yah," jimin chuckles, but her voice is breathier and deeper now too. "let unnie try something, hmm?"
and then she does it. she positions herself so that her breast, that gorgeous full handful of flesh, presses directly against your cunt, and the sensation is so unexpected, so uniquely arousing that your hips buck involuntarily.
"oh my god, unnie, what—" but the words die in your throat when she begins to move, dragging the soft weight of her breast along your folds, and her nipple— her hardened, perfect nipple— catches on your clit and you actually see stars.
"that's it, yeobo," jimin encourages, her own breathing growing ragged as she watches your face contort with pleasure. "feels good, doesn't it? me, all over your pretty pussy?"
it's absurd, really. the mechanics of it shouldn't work this well. but the soft drag of her flesh against your most sensitive parts, the way her nipple keeps catching and rolling over your clit, the sheer filth of what she's doing— it's intoxicating.
if there’s one thing to note about your girlfriend is that she is insanely skilled with these things.
she varies the pressure, sometimes pressing firmly so you can feel every inch of her breast molding against your heat, sometimes lighter, teasing, just her nipple tracing circles around your clit until you're writhing beneath her.
"unnie, please, mmpfh—" you're babbling now, one hand fisted in the sheets, the other reaching down to tangle in her hair.
"what is it, pretty girl?" she asks, but she knows. she can feel how your clit is throbbing against her nipple, how your arousal is coating her skin, making everything slick and obscene.
"gonna cum, unnie, i'm gonna cum from your—from this, oh fuck—"
jimin moans at that, the sound vibrating through her chest and somehow you swear you can feel it against your cunt. she increases the pace, rubbing her breast more firmly against you, making sure her nipple drags directly over your clit with every movement.
"then cum for me, nae sarang," she commands, voice thick with arousal. "cum all over unnie's chest. want to feel how wet you get."
and that's literally all it takes. the combination of her words, the relentless stimulation of her breast and nipple against your oversensitive flesh, the sheer depravity of it all… you shatter. your orgasm crashes through you with embarrassing speed, your back arching off the bed as you cry out her name, hips grinding shamelessly against her breast as wave after wave of pleasure rolls through you.
jimin works you through it, maintaining that perfect pressure until you're pushing at her shoulders, oversensitive and trembling. when she finally pulls back, her breast is glistening with your release, and the sight makes you whimper.
"look at the mess you made," she says, glancing down at herself with a satisfied smirk. "all from unnie's chest. didn't even need to touch your pretty clit with my fingers."
you can't even formulate words yet, still floating in post-orgasmic bliss, but jimin doesn't seem to mind. she crawls up your body, pressing kisses along your sweat-dampened skin.
“it was good, yes?” jimin asks, fondly playing with your hair as you caught your breath.
you nod and anxiously await what’s coming next, since that was just the appetizer.
maybe giselle using added f member reader whenever she’s horny , f reader is a bit dumb so giselle kind of makes her think it’s right and she’s helping giselle (“don’t you wanna be a good girl and make me feel good”) and reader is literally trained to be like her puppy but giselle always rejects her and tells her it’s just a friend thing , one day a member of staff starts talking it up with reader which causes gigi to get jealous
눈치 (nunchi) — shinchan’s blind box
✪ giselle x fem!reader edition
before unboxing (언박싱): smut + angst, angst at the end, emotional hurt, no happy ending, toxic friends with benefits relationship, jealousy, possessive behavior, emotional manipulation, power imbalance, self-worth issues lwk, detailed explicit sex scenes including oral sex and fingering, giselle is mean af
notes from the ceo— trying a new layout, bare with me.. i hope you enjoy this fic! finally getting in the swing of writing again ㅠ
you're supposed to be sleeping.
that's what the schedule taped to the dorm fridge says, anyway. lights out at eleven, wake up at five thirty for hair and makeup before the morning show appearance. but it's one forty three in the morning and your phone is buzzing against the nightstand, screen lighting up with aeri's name, and you already know what this means.
come here
two words. no question mark, because it's not really a question.
you stare at the ceiling of your dark bedroom, counting the glow in the dark stars that the previous trainee stuck up there years ago. some of them are peeling at the edges. you wonder if you should feel something more than this hollow anticipation, this pavlovian response that's already making your stomach flip and your thighs press together.
the phone buzzes again.
don't make me wait
you're up before you can talk yourself out of it, padding across the cold hardwood in your sleep shorts and oversized t-shirt, bare feet silent against the floor. the dorm is quiet except for the hum of the refrigerator and someone's muffled footsteps which probably belong to minjeong, who liked to wander at night over to jimin unnie’s room.
aeri's door is cracked open. of course it is. she knew you'd come.
"took you long enough," she says when you slip inside, and there's that smile, the one that's more of a smirk and makes you forget why this might be a catastrophically bad idea. she's sprawled across her bed in nothing but an oversized hoodie and underwear, legs crossed at the ankle, looking like some sort of renaissance painting titled devastation or the fall of common sense.
"i was asleep," you lie, closing the door with a soft click.
"mmm, liar." aeri uncrosses her legs slowly, deliberately. "you were staring at your phone trying to convince yourself not to come. but here you are."
she's not wrong. she's never wrong, not about this, not about the way she's managed to burrow under your skin like a splinter you can't quite reach.
"yah, don't just stand there." she pats the space beside her. "come here."
you cross the small room, hyper-aware of how your heart is already racing, how your skin feels too tight. the mattress dips under your weight as you sit, careful to leave space between you— space she immediately closes by swinging a leg over your lap, straddling you with the casual confidence of someone who knows exactly what she wants and exactly how to get it.
"hi," she breathes, and her hands find your shoulders, thumbs pressing into the tension there. "missed me?"
"i saw you like three hours ago."
"not what i asked."
her face is so close you can spot the scar under her eye that she covers with concealer on the daily, see the way her pupils are already blown wide. she smells like expensive vanilla hand cream and something uniquely her, something that makes your brain go static and stupid.
"you're needy tonight," you murmur, fingers finding her waist automatically, slipping under the hem of her hoodie to find bare skin. warm. soft.
"and you're chatty." aeri rolls her hips once, slow and deliberate, and your breath catches. "i don't need conversation, aegiya. i need your mouth."
there it is. that switch that flips, that makes everything else fall away— the exhaustion, the schedule tomorrow, the tiny voice in the back of your head that sounds suspiciously like your own common sense, screaming that this is going to hurt eventually.
"you’re really demanding, unnie.." you say, but your hands are already sliding up her sides, thumbs brushing the underside of her ribs.
"you like it." she's not wrong. "don't you wanna be good for me? don't you wanna make me feel good?"
and fuck, there they are. those magic words. the ones that make you nod like the trained puppy you've become, eager and pathetic and so far gone it's almost funny.
"that's what i thought." aeri's smile is sharp as she cups your face, tilts your chin up. "you've gotten so good at this, you know. like you were made for it, made to please me."
your stomach does something complicated, something that might be pride or shame or arousal all twisted together until you can't tell them apart. she's kissing you before you can analyze it further, tongue sliding against yours with practiced ease, and your hands are already pulling her closer, feeling the way she melts and sharpens at the same time.
aeri kisses like she's trying to consume you, all tongue and teeth and barely restrained desperation. she bites your bottom lip hard enough to sting, soothes it with her tongue, then does it again because she knows it makes you whimper.
"mm," she pulls back just enough to breathe, pupils blown wide, lips already swollen. "lay down. now."
you barely have time to process before she's climbing off your lap and pulling you up, pushing you toward the headboard with surprising strength for someone her size. you go willingly, because of course you do, settling against the pillows as she hooks her fingers into her underwear and slides them down her legs with agonizing slowness.
"see how wet i am already? it's a good thing, pabo." she asks, and it's not really a question. she climbs back onto the bed, spreads her legs so you can see, and christ, she is. glistening and flushed and perfect. "been thinking about your tongue all day. during practice, during that meeting, during dinner— just thinking about how good you are, how well i've trained you."
the words should probably bother you. later, when you're alone in your own bed, they will. but right now they just make you clench around nothing, make you lean forward eagerly as she positions herself over your face.
"you remember what i taught you?" aeri's looking down at you, fingers threading through your hair. "start slow, don't rush, and let me cum when i want."
"yes," you breathe, and then she's lowering herself onto your mouth and you're gone.
you do remember what she taught you. how could you forget? every lesson is burned into your memory— the way she likes it when you flatten your tongue and lick broad stripes first, warming her up, making her squirm. the way she gasps when you finally, finally let your tongue circle her clit, light, teasing.
"mmhmm, just like that," aeri's voice is already breathy, thighs tensing on either side of your head. "good girl. my good fucking girl..."
you hum against her and she jerks, fingers tightening in your hair almost painfully. you've learned this too—that she likes a little pain with her pleasure, likes to be in control but also likes when you surprise her, when you push back just enough.
so you suck her clit into your mouth, hard, and she makes this sound, halfway between a gasp and a moan, that goes straight to your core.
"yah, i said slow," but there's no real reprimand in her voice, just pleasure, just need. her hips are already moving, grinding against your face, and you let her use you like this, let her take what she needs while you work your tongue against her in the patterns she's drilled into you over weeks and weeks of nights just like this.
you've become an expert at reading her body. the way her thighs start to shake means you're doing it right. the way her breathing gets shallow and rapid means she's close. the way she pulls your hair means harder, faster, more.
"inside," she pants now, and you obey immediately, sliding your tongue into her while your nose presses against her clit, giving her the friction she's seeking. she tastes like salt and something sweeter, something you've developed an almost addiction to, something that makes you press your own thighs together seeking relief you know you won't get.
this isn't about you. it's never about you.
aeri rides your face with increasing desperation, using your mouth like her personal toy, and you let her, holding her hips to keep her steady, tongue working inside her while she grinds down. you can barely breathe but it doesn't matter— this matters, making her feel good matters, being what she needs matters.
"fingers," she demands, and you slide two into her without missing a beat, crooking them just the way she taught you, finding that spot that makes her whole body go taut. your mouth finds her clit again, sucking and licking while you pump your fingers, matching the rhythm to her movements.
"fuck, fuck, right there—" aeri's voice is high and breathy now, control slipping, and this is your favorite part. when she stops being the cool, collected dancer and becomes this— desperate and needy and falling apart above you. "don't stop, don't you dare fucking stop—"
you don't. you keep the exact same pace, the exact same pressure, tongue working her clit while your fingers curl inside her, and you feel it when she tips over, the way her whole body goes rigid, thighs clamping around your head, the gush of wetness against your fingers as she comes with a broken moan that she barely manages to muffle.
you work her through it, gentler now, letting her ride out the aftershocks until she's pushing weakly at your head, oversensitive and spent.
"holy shit," she pants in clear, breathy english, climbing off your face and collapsing beside you on the bed. her chest is heaving, skin flushed, hair a mess. she looks beautiful. she always looks beautiful, but especially like this— undone in ways the cameras never see.
you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand, trying to ignore the aching between your own legs, the way your whole body is thrumming with unspent tension.
"good?" you ask, even though you know the answer.
"so good, aegi." aeri turns her head to look at you, eyes soft in a way that makes your chest hurt. "you're getting too good at this… gonna ruin me for everyone else."
your heart does something stupid and hopeful, and you hate yourself for it.
"hey, don't look at me like that," she says, but there's amusement in her voice. she reaches out, thumb brushing your bottom lip. "you know what this is, right? we're friends. good friends. friends who help each other out."
"right," you say, and your voice sounds normal even though something inside you is cracking. "friends."
"exactly." aeri sits up, stretching languidly, and you try not to stare at the way her hoodie rides up, exposing the smooth expanse of her stomach. "you're such a good friend, the best bandmate, baby."
she says it like a compliment. you hear it like a dismissal.
"you should get back to your room," aeri continues, glancing at her phone. "it's almost two-thirty. you need sleep."
and just like that, you're being dismissed. used and discarded until the next time she's horny and texts you those two words. come here.
you should say no. you should tell her that friends don't do this, that she's fucking with your head, that you can't keep pretending this doesn't mean more to you than it does to her.
instead, you stand up, smooth down your shirt, and head for the door.
"hey," aeri calls when your hand is on the doorknob. you turn back, stupid hope fluttering in your chest again.
she's smiling at you, soft and genuine and completely unaware of the devastation she's causing. "thanks. you're really... you're really good to me."
"yeah," you say quietly. "anytime."
and you mean it. that's the worst part. you mean it.
the hallway is dark and cold and you pad back to your room like a ghost, slipping under your covers and staring at those peeling glow in the dark stars. your lips still taste like her. your heart still feels like it's being squeezed in a vice.
in the morning, aeri will smile at you over breakfast like nothing happened. she'll steal food off your plate and complain about being tired and be completely, casually normal. and you'll smile back and pretend you're normal too, pretend you don't feel like you're slowly being hollowed out from the inside.
but tonight, you're allowed this. the ache. the wanting. the quiet devastation of being someone's good girl and nothing more.
you close your eyes and try to sleep, knowing that the next time your phone buzzes with those two words, you'll go running.
you always do.
…
uchinaga aeri doesn't get jealous.
that's what she tells herself as she watches you from across the practice room, sprawled against the mirrored wall with a water bottle pressed to her flushed neck. she doesn't get jealous because that would imply she has something to be jealous about, and this thing with you— it's not like that. it's casual… convenient… just two friends helping each other out.
except you're laughing.
really laughing, the kind that throws your head back and crinkles your eyes, the kind that makes your whole face light up like someone plugged you into an electrical socket. and it's not because of something aeri said. it's because of her— the new choreographer, kim fucking soyeon, with her perfectly sculpted dancer's body and her effortless charisma and the way she's standing just a little too close to you right now.
"unnie, you good?" minjeong asks, plopping down beside her. "you look like you're plotting murder."
"i'm fine," aeri says through her teeth, taking a long drink of water that does nothing to cool the heat rising in her chest.
practice ended fifteen minutes ago. fifteen minutes that aeri has spent watching you hang back, watching you and soyeon chat by the sound system, watching the choreographer's hand touch your arm as she demonstrates something, watching you mirror the movement with that eager attentiveness you usually reserve for…for what? for her? when she's teaching you how to make her cum?
aeri's jaw clenches so hard it hurts.
"you're totally not fine," minjeong observes, following her gaze. "oh. oh."
"don't."
"i'm just saying—"
"minjeong-ah, i will literally kill you."
minjeong holds up her hands in surrender, but there's a knowing look in her eyes that makes aeri want to scream. because minjeong knows. maybe they all know, even if no one talks about it—the nights when you slip into aeri's room and don't come out until dawn, the way aeri watches you sometimes with something that looks uncomfortably like hunger.
soyeon says something that makes you laugh again, and this time you actually reach out and touch her shoulder, steady yourself against her, and aeri sees red.
"i'm gonna—" aeri stands abruptly, grabbing her bag.
"don't do anything stupid," minjeong calls after her, but aeri's already halfway to the door, to the dorms, to anywhere that isn't here watching you be genuinely, effortlessly happy with someone who isn't her.
the dorm is empty when aeri gets back. the others are still at the company building—yizhuo had a recording session, minjeong was reviewing footage with the video team. which means when you finally walk through the door forty-five minutes later, still smiling at your phone, probably texting that fucking choreographer, there's no buffer. no witnesses.
just aeri, sitting in the dark living room like some sort of villain from a drama, waiting.
"jesus christ," you gasp when you see her, hand flying to your chest. "you scared the shit out of me. why are you sitting in the dark like a serial killer?"
"who were you texting?" aeri asks, voice flat.
"what?" you're still backlit by the hallway, face half in shadow, and aeri can't read your expression.
"your phone. who were you texting?"
there's a pause. you step fully into the living room, and aeri watches your smile fade into confusion. "soyeon-nim was just sending me some youtube links. videos of other choreographers she thinks i'd like. why?"
soyeon-nim. so formal. so respectful. so fucking cozy.
"you stayed back pretty late," aeri says, and she knows she sounds insane, knows she's being irrational, but something ugly and possessive is clawing up her throat and she can't stop it. "must have been some conversation."
"aeri, what—" you're looking at her like she's grown a second head, and that just makes it worse. "are you... are you mad at me right now?"
"should i be?" aeri stands, crosses her arms. "you tell me."
"i literally have no idea what's happening right now." you set your bag down slowly, carefully, like you're approaching a wild animal. "we finished practice, soyeon-nim asked if i wanted to look at some of the reference material for next week's choreography, and we talked. that's it. that's literally it."
"you seemed really comfortable with her."
"she's our choreographer. i'm supposed to be comfortable with her."
"you don't touch me like that."
the words are out before aeri can stop them, and the silence that follows is deafening.
your expression shifts then—confusion melting into something harder, something that glints like a knife's edge. "i don't touch you like that," you repeat slowly, "because you've made it very clear what i'm allowed to touch you for. or did you forget?"
"that's not—"
"no, please, explain it to me." you're advancing now, and there's an anger in your voice aeri's never heard before, sharp and cutting and aimed directly at her. "explain how i'm supposed to act. because apparently, i can have my face between your legs three times a week, but god forbid i laugh with someone else. god forbid i have a normal fucking conversation with someone who doesn't treat me like a—" you stop yourself, jaw working.
"like a what?" aeri challenges, something reckless rising in her chest. "say it."
"like a toy!" you explode, and aeri flinches. "like something you can use when you're horny and put away when you're done! and i let you, like a fucking idiot, i let you because i thought—" your voice cracks and you look away, hands curling into fists. "it doesn't matter what i thought."
aeri's heart is pounding. the anger is still there but it's mixing with something else now, something that feels dangerously like panic. "yah, you knew what this was. i told you from the beginning—"
"friends, right?" you laugh, and it's bitter and wrong. "friends who fuck. friends who help each other out. i know the script, aeri. you've made sure i know it. every single time after you cum, you remind me. 'don't get the wrong idea.' 'this doesn't mean anything.' 'we're just friends.'"
"because we are—"
"then why the fuck do you care who i talk to?!" you're yelling now, really yelling, and tears are streaming down your face and aeri feels like the ground is crumbling beneath her feet. "why does it matter if soyeon makes me laugh? if she touches my arm? if i have chemistry with someone else? friends don't get jealous, aeri. friends don't act like they own you while simultaneously making sure you know you mean nothing to them!"
"you mean—" aeri starts, then stops, because the words are stuck in her throat, sharp and terrifying.
"what?" your eyes are blazing, wet with tears but fierce. "i mean what? tell me. for once in your life, be fucking honest with me."
and aeri wants to. god, she wants to. wants to say you mean everything, you're all i think about, i'm terrified of how much i need you. but the words won't come because they're too big, too real, too fucking vulnerable.
"this is exactly what i'm talking about," you say when the silence stretches too long. your voice is quieter now, exhausted. "you want me available, want me desperate for you, want me to come running whenever you text. but the second i might want something more, might expect something more, you shut down. you remind me of my place. which is on my knees or in your bed or nowhere at all."
"that's not fair," aeri whispers.
"nothing about this is fair!" you wipe at your face angrily. "i have spent months being whatever you need me to be. your stress relief. your secret. your well-trained little puppy who performs on command. and i did it— i do it because i'm stupidly, pathetically in love with you. and you know it. you've always known it."
the words hang in the air between you like a grenade with the pin pulled.
aeri's chest is so tight she can barely breathe. "you're... you can't..."
"can't what? can't love you?" you laugh again, sharp and broken. "trust me, i've tried not to. but you make it really fucking hard when you look at me the way you do sometimes. when you hold me after and play with my hair and smile like i'm something precious. and then in the morning, you act like i'm nothing, and i'm supposed to just—what? pretend my heart isn't breaking? pretend i don't die a little every time you dismiss me?"
"i never asked you to fall in love with me," aeri says, and she knows immediately it's the wrong thing, knows it from the way your face crumples and then goes carefully, horribly blank.
"you're right," you say quietly. "you didn't. that's my mistake. just like thinking tonight that maybe, maybe, if i showed interest in someone else, you might realize—" you shake your head. "doesn't matter. i get it now."
"get what?" aeri's voice sounds strange, distant.
"that you don't want me. not really. you want what i can give you. the orgasms, the devotion, the ego boost. but me? the actual person? you don't want that. you've made that very clear."
"that's not true," aeri protests, but it sounds weak even to her own ears.
"then what do you want?" you ask, and you sound so tired, so defeated. "because i can't keep doing this. i can't keep being your dirty little secret that you're ashamed of in the daylight. i can't keep watching you flirt with backup dancers and actors and whoever else while i'm supposed to sit there and smile and be grateful for the scraps of attention you give me behind closed doors."
"i'm not—i don't—" aeri's thoughts are a mess, panic and anger and fear all tangled together. "why does everything have to change? why can't it just stay the way it is?"
"because the way it is, is killing me!" your voice breaks on the last word. "can't you see that? every time you touch me and then push me away, every time you use me and then remind me it doesn't mean anything—it kills me a little more. and tonight, for the first time in months, i had a conversation with someone who made me feel normal. who made me feel like a person and not just a—a service you've subscribed to. and even that, you can't let me have. even that, you have to ruin with your jealousy that you won't even admit to feeling."
aeri feels like she's been slapped. "i'm not jealous."
"you're a liar," you say flatly. "you're a liar and a coward, and i'm done."
the words land like a physical blow. "what do you mean, done?"
"i mean i'm done with this. with us. with whatever the fuck this arrangement is." you're backing toward the hallway now, toward your room. "you don't get to have me anymore, aeri. not like this. not when it's destroying me."
panic claws at aeri's throat. "wait—"
"no," you cut her off, and your voice is firm despite the tears still tracking down your face. "i waited. i waited for you to see me, to want me as more than just someone to fuck. but you don't. and i can't—i won't—keep hoping you'll change your mind. i deserve better than this. than you."
the words hit like bullets, each one finding its mark.
"so that's it?" aeri asks, and she hates how small her voice sounds. "you're just giving up?"
"i'm not giving up," you say quietly. "i'm letting go. there's a difference."
you turn toward the hallway, and aeri's body moves before her brain catches up, hand shooting out to grab your wrist. "don't. please."
you look down at where aeri's fingers are wrapped around your wrist, then back up at her face. "why not? give me one good reason why i should stay."
because i need you. because i'm terrified of losing you. because maybe i'm in love with you too and i'm too fucked up to admit it.
but the words stay locked in aeri's chest, trapped behind years of walls and defense mechanisms and fear of vulnerability.
"that's what i thought," you say when the silence stretches too long. you pull your wrist free gently, carefully. "goodnight, aeri."
aeri stands frozen in the living room as you walk away, watches you disappear into your bedroom, hears the quiet click of your door closing. not a slam. somehow, the gentleness of it is worse.
she stands there for a long time, staring at your closed door, waiting for something. for you to come back out. for the words to finally come. for the courage to knock and tell you everything she's too scared to say.
but she just stands there, paralyzed, as the truth settles over her like a suffocating blanket: she is jealous. she is a coward. and she's just lost the best thing in her life because she was too afraid to admit she wanted it.
from somewhere in the dorm, she hears a muffled sound—maybe a sob, maybe nothing.
aeri slides down the wall until she's sitting on the floor, head in her hands, and for the first time in years, she lets herself cry.
