🌙

[kkumchi]

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ kkumchi

• Writing blog, twenty, female presenting but feel free to use any pronouns. Multi fandom, but mostly writing for ff7. I love anything Vincent and Rilakkuma related!!

[dr-yuan]

(ToT)

[kkumchi]

ᯓ Wonder if you care

Word count. 2.2k

Content. hurt/comfort, really bad communication, ocd centralized if you squint really hard. Also finally found out how to use gradient text lols

You sat with your arms crossed, watching your partner fiddle with his hands once more as he had yet to answer your question.

For weeks he had gradually removed himself from your life, evading you anytime he saw you. On the rare occasions he was forced to interact with you he always ensured conversations would be ended swiftly.

Ever since he joined the group Vincent slowly developed a tendency to disappear at times — only for a few hours, and especially at night. As the two of you grew closer you took notice of this pattern, but it wasn’t something to bother with as he was still adapting to the new world around him and you knew how irritating that could be —yet your trust faded when nights would suddenly feel longer without his guarding presence.

First it was embarrassment then guilt, were you doing something wrong? Had you suddenly become unpleasant to him? What if the two of you had never been compatible, you shared little to no similarities with him in the sense of what you had lived through. He would unknowingly drop hints of another woman, whom you were awfully knowledgeable on — after all you had begged Cait Sith for more insight of her. She had been a terribly strong influence on his life, one you couldn’t be on level with.

The night prior to your argument you had been restless as you positioned yourself onto the corner of the bed, always leaving a spot for him — even if he was yet to come. A fog emitted from your brain as the same thoughts continuously looped in your mind, inadvertently mouthing them to cope with stress.

You concluded that you would finally put a stop to this mental torture and confront Vincent on his doings, but thinking — better yet acting about matters such as these mortified you. Even if you were in a relationship, being open about yourself felt shameful, as if every word that came out of your mouth was a lie. If you couldn’t bring yourself to face him, you would have to just end it.

Now sitting up in bed you grabbed your trusty journal along with the pen you always kept on the nightstand. You frantically begin to write as if the words would magically emit from your mind and onto the paper, not stopping to fix the grammatical errors along the way. A few wet spots marked the paper, but it didn't matter to you, it aided to the desolation you felt.

Leaving a letter was selfish and cruel, you knew it, after all it was an unspoken rule to never break up with someone in ways such as these. You couldn’t hide from him forever, eventually you would have to see him. After all, you and him still adventured with the same group — common enemy, different goal.

You hastily put a stop to the thought and set the letter on the nightstand table, where you knew Vincent would see it. The sun had yet to rise, but lingering for too long put you at risk of clashing with him, knowing that Vincent always returned at sunrise, not to lay down with you but to watch over your somnolent body as you slept.

You left with a small bag that contained your belongings, not much, just essentials got you around. Closing your bag you strolled through the reception and as you sighted Cloud you asked if there was anything that needed to be done. Mopping to the nearest meadow when you had heard his command.

It was the perfect job for suppressing the dread you felt — what felt better than picking flowers for a memorial of a defunct friend?

Time dragged as you picked from the freshest of flowers, taking in their scent as you put them in the basket. You had expected Vincent to at any time come and find you, but he had yet to seize you in his arms, telling you how remorseful he felt as he begged for you to take him back. It was a silly daydream — but ruminating on such ideas felt so blissful.

Unknowingly to you a pair of eyes had been ferociously stalking every move of your body.

Walking back to Cloud you reminisced over the time you were formally introduced to him, and how awkward you had made it for the both of you. You had found him very physically appealing and you struggled to keep that a secret.

Pursuing a relationship wasn't on your mind, not when the world was damn near ending. But when it came to him it just couldn’t wait and suddenly moments spent with Vincent turned into something intimate.

Reaching the lobby you eyed that Cloud had left — not that you expected him to wait but you remained uncertain as to where to place the flowers, wishing to prolong their freshness. Then it came to you that every room contained a vase with old flowers in it. Well at least yours did.

You thought of how bothersome it would be to confirm your theory and barge into someone else's room, so for now you decided to place them in the bedroom you used to inhabit.

Vincent wasn’t in the room but you still couldn’t help but peek in a little — dismissing how infantile you were being. But with total reason, nobody wanted to be near the person who had provoked their distress.

Swiftly you take out the old flowers in the vase, replacing them with new ones. Filling the vase with water the echoing sound of metal clanking against the wooden floor causes you to go immobile, losing all autonomy of your body. There was no need to be so scared of such noise, you heard it all the time. But this time, you just couldn’t find the balls to face it.

Vincent stood by the door, face drowsy. He had no need for sleep, but he could inarguably use some.

The two of you stayed unmoving, not emitting as much as a breath. It seemed nothing had to be said so you headed for the door, withered flowers still in hand.

As you exit your body is stopped by a gentle tug on your wrist that gestures for you not to leave. Not rejecting his touch you let him guide you to the bed, closely watching as he closes the door behind him.

You sit down on the bed, waiting for him to start the conversation. Just as you begin to think he won’t say anything after all, through stumbled breaths he manages to get the words out.

“Is this what you truly want?”

The question was rhetorical, well of course you didn’t want this. You didn’t mean to sound dismissive but the downfall of your relationship had been entirely up to him. “I'm not sure if it's up to me to answer that” you reply, breath hasty with anticipation. “If you thought for even a moment, you would realize the only one putting the effort in this relationship is me.” It hurt being so impudent with him, you didn’t wish to make it difficult for him but it was the agonizing truth.

Vincent stood there taking your words through before reaching in to place his gloved palm on what was going to be your cheek before hesitating and hovering over your shoulder. By this point your vision had become hasty — from the tears you produced which steamed from frustration more than anything.

“I am perceptive of the fact I have been avoiding you, but it was with no ill motive.”

Letting an audible gasp you noted how he just confirmed to be avoiding you and expected you not to be aggravated. Vincent became even more preoccupied as he saw the flashing change in your expression. “It appears I have worried you even more, I'm sorry that was not my intention.” He begins to rub your shoulder in an attempt to soothe you, but it quickly backfires as you sullenly remove his hand from you.

“If you say that you had no ill motives for avoiding me — then why did you do it?”

Vincent begins to glance at every corner of the room, seemingly avoiding your question. Did he not trust you? You promptly thought of how insensitive that question sounded because just hours ago you resolved to break up with him instead of being thorough and sharing how his distance affected you.

You accepted that you yourself had been distant, knowing how reserved he was with his emotions you should’ve chosen a gentler approach for getting his attention. But then again you were just as afraid of rejection. “It’s fine you don’t need to tell me.” You say, wishing to keep the conversation flowing “However I do wish to know if this was my fault, I feel I deserve to know..”

He squints his eyes at your words, seemingly in disagreement. Sullenly gazing at the floor you don’t capture his change in expression. “No, this is in no way your fault.” You attempt to look up at him, but in fear of how you look, you don't. “Listen, you don’t deserve someone like me, someone who can hardly call themselves human.”

So — this is what this was about, he didn’t feel worthy of affection, it made you pity him in a way How a vast majority of his life had been spent in self-inflicted torment, and how even now he still continued to live the same way. “I wanted to prove to myself that you could manage without my companionship — and it seems that you are far more than capable.”

You look even further down, head almost tipping to the floor. He'd made such an assumption, but had no clue of how diminished you'd felt as you watched him slowly drift apart from you.

Vincent had given you an answer, but now what? Were you going to be back together and pretend like nothing happened? That would not be possible not when he had confessed he didn’t feel worthy of even your touch and your communications skills remained incapable. Had this relationship been doomed from the start? But love was flowing, and that's all that mattered.

In a heart beat, you had shot up from the bed and onto Vincent's figure, praying that he would actually catch you and not let you drop to the floor.

Lean arms embraced you — almost feeling like a lifetime ago since you had last felt his touch. You hold him tight as you try to get the words out with an unsteady voice.

“Vincent you know I love you, that much couldn’t be clearer. If I’ve met you at your worst — what makes you think I'll leave now.” You tried to keep yourself composed as your breath became uneven. Usually you would be intimidated of weeping in front of someone, but as of now you just couldn’t find it in you to care. “None of your thoughts make up who you are, your actions do. And as of now you have been one of the most humane people I’ve met.”

Reaching for the back of his head, you position your lips to meet his, lingering over them to ask for permission. Vincent settles his lips onto yours in a gentle manner which then turns into one of desperation. Pulling away from him you slide him a smile, further giggling when you catch him trying his best to do the same.

You remain melted into his hold, eyeing the bags under his eyes more evidently now. The times you'd been in the same bedroom you hadn't seen him shut his eyes to even blink, only staring blankly through the window. You were sure he hadn’t slept all this time, always using the excuse that he had technically “died” and didn’t need to succumb to such needs. Well, it was true but it still pained you seeing him in such a way.

“When was the last time you slept?” You mumbled, resting your head on his shoulder. You don’t get a response , just an unusually loud breath. “Well I'm not sure about you but I made quite the trip this sunrise, and I surely wouldn’t mind a quick nap.”

Truthfully you weren’t tired, but saying so could entice him to do the same.

“Well there’s a bed.” Vincent says, stating the obvious. You chuckle and pat his shoulder to let him know you want to get down, he does so and so you collapse on the bed — moving towards your favorite corner. You kick your shoes off but don’t bother changing your clothes, knowing it will be a light slumber.

Vincent stands at the edge of the bed, staring you down. Giving him a questioning look you ask if he is indeed going to sleep, he gives it some thought but subsequently gives in.

You lay down waiting for the bed to squeak as he applies his body mass on it. He does so, also not bothering to remove any of his garments. You further bask in what was the coldness of his body, not ideal for the current weather but you made it work.

A smile adorned your face as you watched Vincent close his eyes, there was no way to tell if he was actually sleeping but the halt of his simulated breathing told you that he had indeed hit the sack.

a/n : this took me soo long to write!! But so far one of the most fun things i’ve wrote, i js rlly enjoy hurt/comfort type of fics. Yapping aside, I wanted to make this related to some of my past ocd obsessions that can be connected to vincent, i dont currently have most of these atm so I had to dig through my memories. Also a lot of thanks for all the interactions on my last two fics, it really means alot!!😽

[koiagain]

I feel So Cringe whenever I express interest in anything You guys can shoot me if you want idk

[nebulamae]

one of my biggest ff7 headcanons is vincent having ocd (specifically moral ocd for obvious reasons lolol)

he feels responsible for so many things around him even though he wasn’t the one who caused them and even 30 years later struggles with guilt that he carries from the past so i would say his compulsion is allowing himself to ruminate and force himself to live through awful thoughts and memories since he believes he deserves these feelings in order to “atone for his sins”

to me this seems like a form of mental self harm but another habit he has is isolating himself from others believing he may put them in harm but it could also be him believing he doesn’t even deserve socialization anymore

this ramble is all over the place but i swear it makes sense in my mind 💔

this is based on my own experience w ocd so im my own source rn hehe 🙂‍↕️👀

i 🫶 vincent valentine

[kkumchi]

ᯓ Falling asleep on you

contains. tifa, vincent

a/n: Tifas part may contain some spoilers for the og game

Tifa

Tifa had been one of your closest friends for the longest time , at this point your feeling for her were set — but for the safety of your friendship you remained inactive.

After Clouds banishment to the lifestream, Tifa took his role and become your guide. Lately her eye bags sagged across her face from how restless she had been, you knew how self conscious she could get at times — especially with the current circumstances.

She sat in the conference room of the Highwind, massaging her temple with one hand as she tapped the table with the other. Tifa had always been vigilant of her surroundings, keeping a eye out for any potential threats, so the fact she hadn’t seen you come in made you worry even further.

You slow down your steps to not alarm her and reach down to touch her shoulder. She has no reaction to your touch — simply tilting her head upwards to give you what you think is a smile.

“You don’t look well”

Watching her smile drop as you uttered those words made you feel even worse, you wished to make her feel better but were unsure how.

Wising to hold her closer your arms circle her shoulders, firmly hugging her from the back, warmness growing as you cradle her.

Reaching to pull a chair, a strong grip keeps you place — not complying with your demand. After a few seconds she lets go and so you sit next to her, pulling her head into your lap as you both get comfortable.

In a moment of relaxation Tifa closes her eyes, the rise in her chest begins to slow down — letting you know she was reaching sleep. Not wanting to disturb her you remained sat, hoping that this moment would last forever.

Vincent

By this point your relationship with Vincent had been lovingly and stable, some hardship was endured the more intertwined you became with him — wondering at times if he reciprocated his feeling just as much as you.

The both of you lived in a humble abode, it wasn’t much but it meant everything to you. Sharing your everyday life with Vincent compensated for any materialistic need.

You had been sitting on your couch with the tv playing in the background as you scrolled through your phone, waiting for Vincent to finish running some errands. He insisted that your help was not required, stating that the the temperature would make your cold worse — even if you had already recuperated a week prior.

You had tried to fight back but ultimately gave up when the cold breeze brushed up against your legs, quickly sending you back into the little cocoon.

The sound Vincents keys rattled against the lock, and you sit still examining the purchases — watching as he sets them down on the kitchen table, throwing you looks that tell you that tell you to go help him.

Walking over to him you observe how much more exhausted he looked than when he left.

He had already confessed that all of his attempts at sleeping failed. Flashing memories he had been force to accept as a part of him had become a regular hobby for his indomitable mind.

Vincent lets out a yawn under his cape that he had to still yet take off. He hadn’t moved an inch, simply staying in place looking back to the groceries, signaling that he still needed help with them.

You roll your eyes at him finding it funny how he prioritized that over his own wellbeing.

“You know that can wait right”

He gives you his classic look but doesn’t resist when you grab his arm to pull him into the couch. You were a little taken back at how easily he was letting you handle him — but then again he’d never been one to deny you much.

Laying down you wrap the blanket around him, attempting to engulf his large frame while moving his head closer the crook of your neck. You let him find a position that was comfortable for the both of you, watching him as he closes his eyes.

You had already known why he was so insistant on going alone, understanding that he needed time alone recollect and make himself look presentable in your eyes. All you could do was long for the day he would come to realize that you already loved every aspect of him.

[kosmogrl]

[kkumchi]

ᯓ Misunderstandings

Word count : 2.2k

a/n: my drafts are finally seeing the light. This is my favorite scene so I wanted write about it. Only warning I can think about is nausea.

Heavy footsteps climbing the stairs of the Tiny Bronco turn your attention towards the pale man dressed in black and red, the who had just attacked you now was audaciously asking to come along on the hunt for Sephiroth. Your attention remained on the dispute between him and Cloud, thinking that his entry would surely be denied, astonishingly Cloud let the man travel with you guys letting him in with only a warning.

Analyzing him as he made his way towards the back of Bronco, the stiffness in his walk became prominent, he was clearly uncomfortable. As he approaches the back of the plane you pay close attention to the way his eyes survey the area, adjusting to his new surroundings, tensing when you spot the way he observes the seat next to you  — almost like he is unsure about sitting with you.

The only other place there was room for him was the floor, where Nanaki already sat, trying his best to look intimidating. You scoot closer to your side, silently letting him know to just sit down and not make the whole thing so awkward.

After the inadvertent pause in his steps Vincent decides to take a step in your direction to claim the seat next to you, producing a breath out of you from the uneasy atmosphere. Vincent spares you not even a glance in acknowledgment as he sits down, crossing his legs and closing his eyes to avoid unwanted eye contact, especially the group in front of him. 

As the Bronco gains altitude, you hold your stomach in an attempt to relieve the nausea. The chattering of your girl friends catches your attention and you turn to face them, aiming to submerge your nausea with their gossip. With your attention still focused on them you catch a glimpse of Vincent’s face in your peripheral vision, his eyes remained closed and his expression hadn’t  changed from the moment he sat down. 

Your focus slowly drifts away from your friends and towards him. Garments cover his face leaving only his eyes visible, and if you were honest they were the most striking part about him. Since you left Midgar you have met so many unique people, but none like him.

Finding it difficult to pull your stare from him, you shift in your seat to find a more comfortable position as you look around the Bronco, but your eyes unconsciously land towards the direction (person) you were trying to avoid. 

Hairs in your neck rapidly begin to stand up with a  void in your stomach to sucking your breath away when you are met with his amber red eyes, he hold eye contact with you no more than three seconds and with a blink of an eye turns his face the other returning his default pose consisting of one leg  being on top of the seat and the other spread out, all while sticking his nose further in the cape.

He'd probably been watching the way you were squirming and twirling in your seat like a worm and decided to check what was wrong with you, probably thinking you were weird in the process . Embarrassment became evident in your face after being caught in your little act, turning your back back towards him while laying your head on the wall. The supposition of his thoughts towards you now makes you shiver in second hand embarrassment. 

A rumble in one the Broncos wing abruptly pulls you from daydreaming as you cling onto anything that can be used to alleviate your fall. Cid maintains calm in the pilot seat, his chill attitude comforts you almost to the point of forgetting you are basically free falling. Your fingers grip the seat as tight as they can to avoid falling face first in a moment of collision. Waves splash from the impact, and in what feels like slow motion you lose the grip on your seat as you begin to plummet towards the floor, provoking your face to almost touch the floor.

Sharp metal tips pull at the back of your shirt, suspending your upper body to prevent you from kneeling further down. You look back to find the only possible person that could’ve grabbed you, only to find him giving Cid a glare. Remaining in the hold of his gauntlet you notice the fabric from where he is pulling you from growing thinner and you wiggle in his touch to grab his attention.  

Vincent turns to look at you and your eyes come yet again in contact with the unnatural amber red of  eyes. In a swift motion he places you gently in your seat, gripping your seat again you feel something tug your shirt. Turning your head you realize that Vincent had accidentally embedded his gauntlet in the fabric of your clothes. Not being able to reach the area yourself, you awkwardly sit there until he is able to safely retract his claws back. 

Unsure of what to say to him (probably thank you), you sit stiffly with hopes that he might be the one to speak first. “I apologize” Vincent blurts out, “I should’ve caught you with my other hand.” He glances at his gauntlet  then slowly at you, probably expecting a response from you. One that you wouldn’t be able to give him.

As your tongue untwists you find your voice again, the words register through your brain but don’t leave your mouth as Yuffie in a frenzy starts calling out for you, and eventually starts pulling you from your seat. 

“Come here quick! And bring your bag with you!”

You reach for your bag that had fallen on to the  floor and give Vincent a quick glance. His attention was no longer on you but the wall in front of him, the fabric covering his face making his expression somewhat difficult to interpret. Yuffie keeps her grip on your arm as he drags you to the top of the Bronco, where everyone now busies themselves with repairs.

Walking with Yuffie you feel guilty for not reassuring Vincent about his claw getting stuck in your shirt, and not thanking him. Fingers are snapped in your face and you pull yourself back to reality, Yuffie hunches over the floor holding her stomach in pain,  then proceeds to ask for the nausea pills in your bag.

“Is that seriously what you brought me here for?” You peevishly ask her “You could’ve just asked me down there.”

instantaneously her airsick face vanishes and is placed with a cheeky grin. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt your alone time with Vincent.” She says in a mocking tone. You side eye her as you reach in your bag for your motion sickness pills. Your lack of an answer doesn’t satisfy and she quickly follows up with a question. “What were you two doing alone there anyway?” 

Pulling out the pills you give her a sip of your water, but you don’t answer her. She takes the medicine and turns to look at you with her eyebrows raised, expecting an answer. Sighing, you explain to her how he had stopped you from falling and were in the middle of thanking him when she dragged you from your seat. You think to yourself how awkward it’s going to be to sit next to him again, but plot to thank him when you sit back down.

The plane, now boat, sails towards Costa de Sol with hopes of using chocobos to arrive at the Gold Saucer. Stepping back into the Bronco you take notice of Vincent as he pierces his a hole through the floor. Sitting next to him again you take a placid breath, muttering in your head what you're going to say to him as you turn your body towards him, confusion instantly hits you when his eyes are suddenly sealed tight and his chest pumps up and down like it was his first time breathing, you weren’t a fool and so quickly conclude that he was faking his sleep. 

Quietly sighing in defeat you think to yourself that maybe you're the one making this a bigger deal than it is, he probably doesn’t even care. Taking a few quick glances at him while “sleeps” you observe how graceful he is in every form, letting your eyes linger for a little too long you turn to face forward receiving a questioning look from Barret. Leaning back in your seat you unconsciously let out a small grin, as you decide to sleep through the short ride.

All the moving has drained everyone and Aerith is quick to early suggest spending the night at Johnny’s hotel before heading out to the Gold Saucer. Nobody opposes the idea except Barret saying that the key should be priority — sure he was right but the idea of spending a night in Costa del Sol didn’t sound so bad.

“Come on barret, one more night wouldn't hurt — we don’t know if we're ever gonna have the chance to be here again.” Tifa adds on.

Barret remains unsure but nonetheless complies, starting to walk towards the hotel. You plan to follow him, but not yet, deciding to stroll around a bit before heading on.

Walking through the shops and looking for things that could be useful in the future you come to an abrupt stop when you spot a familiar tall figure in the distance, or what looked like the Card Carnival — was he lost? Curiosity wins over and you decide to march in his direction, set on unveiling what he was up to. Getting closer you see another person sitting in front of him, in what looked like a competition. Astonished to see how comfortable he was to the outside world since he looked like he’d never gone out, or at least that was what you thought.

Different people could be seen switching places but Vincent remained sitting on the same seat, not moving once. Was he really winning all the rounds? You knew little of the man but silly card games like Queens Blood was something you subconsciously put below him.

You thought of leaving but the opportunity to clear things up with Vincent was right there — and he probably had no idea you guys were staying at Johnny's hotel or where it even was, although you wouldn’t be surprised if he found it himself. You carefully observe as Vincent wins every game, leaving no lasting opponent. Needless to say everyone is shocked by his skill, including you before deciding to make your way over to him.

Without even needing to get his attention Vincent stands up from his chair to face you before you even get a chance to figure out what you're going to say to him. “Can I assist you with something?” His commanding tone sends electricity down your spine, memories of encountering Shinra Manor start to circuit and you start to feel just as intimidated.

The look on his face betrays that of his voice, he looked anything but intimidating — Almost like he was on the verge of puking. Not wanting to leave him waiting like last time you nod in agreement to his question, coming up with an excuse on why you were basically surveilling him.

“Well, I wanted to let you know at Johnny’s Inn — do you know where it is?” Well obviously he did not, but you still asked. Vincent looked to the side while crossing his arms. “No, but I can find it.” You nod in agreement again, debating whatever you should apologize to him for earlier. “So you play Queen's Blood … right?” You lacked social skills that much was obvious. “Yes, I do.” He replies back with the same dry tone, hinting that maybe you should stop talking. “That’s nice..”

The both of you stand there looking at the floor as a discomforting presence lingers in the air. You didn’t know Vincent well but you knew he was a man of very little words.

“I wanted to apologize before,” you said out of the blue. “I didn’t thank you, and if it weren’t for you I would’ve gotten seriously hurt.” It takes a moment for Vincent to respond, and the nerves eat you as the seconds pass.

“There is no need to apologize, I saw the situation unfold in front of my eyes.” Well, Phew that was a relief, for a moment you thought he resented you. Now that was resolved you felt that it was safe to head back and rewind for a bit, clearing your mind from everything that was clogging it. You say your goodbyes to Vincent, not expecting one back from him as you start to head for the Inn.

An almost ghostly hand touches your shoulder before quickly retracing it back, you notice the way Vincent refused to touch you with his gauntlet and internally chuckle at the fact. Facing him again you could tell he was having problems getting the words out — shaken from all human interaction in one day. “Tell me, do you play Queen’s Blood?”

You produce the widest grin the moment he utters those words, digging in your bag to pull out your trusty deck that you always carry for occasions like these — and also the one you've never lost with.

“Well of course I do, wanna play?

a/n: i hope its not too obvious i had no idea where to go with this lol