pairing: arthur morgan x f!reader
rating: explicit (mdni)
summary: you are coming back from a job, but fatigue forces you to take shelter in a small hotel with hot springs. It takes a lot of convincing for Arthur to fold…
word count: 4k
warnings: it's smut. Hot and heavy smut with feelings (again, yeah but who can stop us?). Kissing, cockwarming, unprotected piv, not exactly established relationship. Screenshots by me except for Arthur's pic. Dividers by @/enchanthings
a/n: another amazing writing experience with my baby @thedilfdiaries. I am so grateful to share this with u and I love you so much 💙❤️✨This one took us a long time but it's finally here. I hope you'll enjoy this story. The fic is available on ao3.
“Sweetheart that’s…” He breathes out, “What are you doing?” Arthur wants to sound exasperated… But his voice comes out as desperate, especially now that you are breathing so close to him. He pulls away, moving to the side slightly, naively thinking he can escape from you. But you follow him, backing himself into the edge of the spring again, slowly taking your place in front of him.
“You're trying so hard to be a gentleman but we both know that’s not what you’re thinking about right now. I can feel exactly how much you want to stop fighting this.”
summary: your chronic pain is back and Charles waits for you to stop denying it so he can be here and support you.
pairing: charles smith x f!reader.
rating: general.
word count: 1.5 k or so.
warnings: it’s fluff. A little angsty maybe. Modern au. Reader has some sort of chronic muscle/joint disease. Don’t ask me what it is exactly cause guess what? I don’t know. They’re married. Reader has hair long enough to braid. Kissing. Mentions of nudity. That’s about it. Title by Paramore, of course.
a/n: English isn’t my first language. Dividers by @/aquazero I wrote this at 4 am because I can’t sleep because of the pain lol. So no proofread. It’s a very personal piece, but hey self indulgent mini fic is what fanfic writing is about after all. I hope you like it if you read it. If it doesn’t sound relatable it’s okay too. At least it felt good writing it. And now I am going back to sleep. See ya ✨💓
"You aren’t tying your hair up ?"
An innocent but loaded question. Charles observes you from accross the room, like a man who already knows the answers but wait for your dance of lies to start veiling up the truth.
How can he not know ?
He had noticed the slight changes all week long. The headaches, the fatigue. You became incapable of staying seated on the couch and watch the tv past 9 pm. You take 5 breaks an afternoon to lie down in your bed.
But what struck him is the way your hands started to stop functioning. You can’t open a bottle of water, you can’t do the dishes anymore. You dropped a plate earlier tonight and you never do. Charles said nothing seated at the table, pausing with his fork still in the air and watching you silently curse yourself. No veggie, no meat. Because you can’t even cut it. You wince each time you stand up or walk down a step. It’s easy to miss for those who don’t pay attention. But Charles is your husband. He pays attention. He notices. He knows.
You became slower. Twice the amount of time to get ready in the morning. You lost your balance and bruised your hipbone against the counter trying to put on your socks without having to sit down.
He saw you crying as you washed your hair on Wednesday like you usually do. You said the shampoo bottle fell on your feet when he asked about it. Another white lie. He keeps tabs on them a lot lately.
You put on your bra the reversed way this morning. Charles frowned and asked about it too, toothbrush in his mouth, knowing fair well that he had never seen you coming out of the bathroom with your breast uncovered before. And he have been living here with you since you got married 8 months ago. You do things a certain way, not one prone to changes.
But everything changed this week and he noticed.
The tears staining your cheeks after an abrupt move. The frustrated sighs escaping your mouth as soon as you reach your new limits, the useless pills you swallow day and night. The emergency ones in your bedside table you still haven’t tried…
"You haven’t tied your hair up?" Charles asks again, eyes never leaving your frame as you feign to put your hair behind your shoulder.
But you twist your wrist the wrong way and the pain shooting through your elbow forces you to wince. It’s sharp. It takes more than a minute to stop.
Charles waits patiently, walking closer to your side of the bed.
He had never seen you sleep with your hair untied before. Especially when the temperatures are so high outside. It would prevent you from sleeping. The strand of hair tickling your cheeks as you lay on your pillow. He knows you hate that because you told him when you asked him that exact same question yourself the first time you shared your bed with him.
"What?" You ask back, eyes rising on him in confusion.
He stares at you now, intimidating, standing up before you, arms crossed on his chest. A silent dare, heart breaking a little at the fact that you aren’t sharing your struggles with him… how can his own wife not trust him enough to let him in on this hard truth?
"Lost my hair tie" you say after a while, offering him the least convincing smile he ever saw on your face.
"I got one right here" he is quick to roll the elastic band down his wrist and hold it out. He doesn’t want to rub you up the wrong way… but he sees the irritation in your eyes as you reach for the tie.
He can’t believe you are going to try to sit through the pain right under his scrutiny instead of asking for his help.
You don’t roll the hair tie all the way down to your wrist like you usually would. You managed to raise one elbow behind your head but your fingers struggle to wrap around the hair you gathered in a lose bun. Too lose to be really helpful anyway.
Charles sighs as he waits for you to admit your defeat.
You drop your arm slowly back on your knees. It’s not natural either the way you are holding your limbs up. Your shoulder are tensed and hunched forward, you rest your hands palms up towards the ceiling, but your elbows are arched weirdly. You can’t bend them. You can’t completely extend them either.
Charles grabs the hair tie from your motionless hands and sits right behind you. He gathers your hair delicately in his hands, let the pad of his fingers brush the sides of your neck, like he usually does when he plays with your hair before you fall asleep.
"I can’t" you finally say. There it is.
The silence stretches between you two. Charles is quick to finish his handiwork. Your braided hair is gathered in a bun. His hand rests on your shoulders. He holds you there, the warm feeling of his skin against yours, of his chest against your back.
"I know. I’ve noticed. How bad is it right now ?" Charles finally says, standing back up to face you. He just wants to make sure you aren’t lying again.
"Bad enough that the pills aren’t working. I don’t know what I am going to do Charles. I am just so tired" You confess, the last restraint slowly breaking down. Silent tears slide down your face.
Charles kneels down before you, and cups your cheeks in his hands.
"You gotta let me help you. You can’t hide this from me"
You nod, a sob escaping your lips.
"I just.. I don’t want this to start again. It’s going to take months to calm down… I am too exhausted for this pain to start again"
"I know. But I am here. I can try to make it less exhausting, I can handle things for you, I can help. Let me carry you through this for once" His eyes are pleading for yours to see that you don’t have to go through this alone. Not anymore.
He wishes he could find the reason why, why it’s happening again, why nothing is working to make it stop, something real this time. Not the "you are too fat, too anxious, you don’t exercise enough" reasons doctors always give you. "It’s not serious enough or why are you staying in such pain? We don’t know but it could be this or that. It can disappear forever or turn into something worse" He wishes he could pull you out of this medical limbo, once and for all.
In the meantime he will stay by your side, and hold you when you can’t stand by yourself. With his strength, with his patience, with his love.
"Okay" you simply mutter, your hand raising weakly to cup his face. You can’t really mold your fingers against his cheek like you usually do. But the faint touch of your skin on the scar carved on his face makes his heart skip a beat.
"No more hiding and no more lies" Charles states, leaning closer until his forehead touches yours.
"I promise" You whisper against his lips.
Charles kisses you slowly, careful not to put too much of his weight on you.
"I am sorry I am not a physician" He says with the most serious expression as he parts from you.
"I wouldn’t have married you if you were one, they are incompetent"You laugh, slowly laying on your side.
"I would have been the only exception" He replies, switching off the light before joining you in bed.
"Physician or not I am very lucky to have you by my side" You look at him with a soft smile and Charles leans down for a kiss.
He sits up in the dark and lets his hand caress your hair, your forehead, your naked shoulder. He probably won’t fall asleep so early but he can stay here with you.
"You okay?" He asks when he hears you humming, afraid that he might have inflicted you pain.
"Yeah… I am just going to pass out soon if you keep doing this"
"Good. You need to rest."
You close your eyes as his fingers resume their dance on your skin, and enjoy the feeling of the pain dying down for a fleeting moment.
affirmations they will not kill me at work today. it is not in my job description to get killed. if they did kill me at work that would be weird and probably not worth it for them
