Noah… do you remember me? It seems you’ve been struggling lately, both with your identity and your relationships. I want you to know that you have my sympathy, but I am afraid I cannot allow you to continue on like this. I know that it’s hard, but you must allow yourself perspective on these things. The world is so much greater than just one person. I know that it can often feel as if the world is against you, because when confronting the majesty of the universe it is so easy to feel inadequate, like there is no place in that grand design for someone as despicable as yourself. I know that when you find even one person who makes you feel like you belong, you impress upon them the meaning of life that the uncaring universe never bothered to give to you. In that sense, they become like the only thing tethering you to reality. It is as if they are representing the whole of existence to you. It truly is an ecstatic feeling to have purpose for the first time, but if you allow your entire purpose to be contained within one impermanent part of this vast universe then you will be plunged into the deepest despair once it is inevitably lost. One way or another, everything in this life will end… but it is one of our greatest abilities as a species to adapt to these conditions and change for the better from the experience. Chris might be gone, but there is still a world full of meaning just waiting to be discovered. It can feel as if that one person was your only respite, as if they were the only thing capable of bringing you happiness, and now that you’ve lost them there is nothing left to live for… but I promise you that is not the case. There is beauty in other people, in art, in nature, even in the simple act of being alive. No matter what, there is always something worth living for out there somewhere. All you have to do is look for it, no matter how difficult it is to find through all the hardships and grief. What else can you do? There is no point in giving up. I encourage you to please, for your own sake, look for support in other aspects of life. Find consolation in new friendships. Develop a new hobby and discover what you can uniquely contribute to this world. Even just taking a long walk or looking out into the swirling sea of stars… even the small things in life can be made beautiful with the right perspective. You won’t be able to achieve that mindset immediately, I know I certainly haven’t, but you mustn’t let that discourage you. It’s hard work, but I promise that it is worth it to find fulfillment again. I’m still by no means perfect, but even in the brief time since my departure I have been able to find small shares of enjoyment in some of the things that used to feel like hollow reflections of the desolate universe. Please, take care of yourself. The universe wouldn’t be the same without you.
romaincrisis
2087
amandla
turnnoffyourmind
vaporwave
origamiaround
