Br& New

🐄 Lana 21 London🌻 I love dogs and the beach Insta: jimthepup

[cyberbullyinc]

[adrianainla]

[here-northere-deactivated202101]

[ericmickelson]

[sdfsdfsdfsdfdsgh235-deactivated]

[bvners]

[the-cinder-fields]

René Magritte (1898 – 1967) , Untitled

[yuzees]

[m-lemann]

go to the country and never be online

[365filmsbyauroranocte]

4 aventures de Reinette et Mirabelle (Éric Rohmer, 1987)

[knarwolf]

We used to chat every so often a couple years back. Are you doing alright?

Getting by thank you, I hope you’re well x

[churchrummagesale]

January 2018: Alone in the town

[petite-gloom-deactivated2018052]

[fate]

[beatchya]

Carrie (1976) dir. Brian De Palma

[knarwolf]

This time it’s different because I know I’m not doing well, I’m hungry a lot of the time and proud of it, I’m leaving the house when I absolutely have to, I’m not trying with anyone. I don’t want to talk.

I don’t want to do anything bar what’s needed to pass uni, I don’t care for eating right eating enough soup and bread for the past month has been fine and I’m losing weight and that’s fine I’m sick of myself and sick of being sick my heart isn’t right so this is fine

Going back over old things I’ve written, this is different to even last year. I know that around this time of year isn’t great because I go over what’s happened. But this time I’m not fussed about reaching out for help I don’t want to talk over anything the talkings been done before , I don’t want to take anything for it so I’m not going to the doctor. He doesn’t understand where I come from on anything he doesn’t understand me

I’m tempted to meet up with my old English teacher to have a chat but don’t want to breakdown in front of her, it wouldn’t be the first time but it’s not fair for her she doesn’t need to hear about this

It’s strange how your eating disorder grows with you, self-aware now and I know what I’m doing to myself and why but I don’t want to stop. I don’t want to talk about anything I’ve stopped caring. I wake up and already want to go back to bed that night. it’s Sunday and I wish this week was over already and it’s sad but I don’t want to go through it

I’m talking to people but I’m on autopilot , people at uni tell me about their dogs I tell them about mine but I don’t care for it. Not taking anything in. Hyperfocusing on uni work and lectures everything else my body is either rejecting completely - food, relationship - or zoning out, but this time I don’t want help I know this is happening to me but I don’t want it to stop there’s no point

[lhsk-sanches]