From the playground

Woman, 49, in a relationship.  I used to identify as submissive but that is shifting now and I am exploring other parts of myself  18+ Adults only.  NSFW    All my own posts can be found under #kneeledbeauty

[kneeledbeauty]

I don’t do kik so don’t ask me

I also don’t skype or communicate with anyone from here in any way except here.

And I’m never here.  This blog is no longer managed.  Enjoy it for the history piece it is before I decide to delete it.

[bakedputa]

[kneeledbeauty]

Sure, you start…. with fuck off

[i-provide-you-defer-deactivated]

Consider the relief you'll feel just by handing your decisions over to me.

You’d be happier. Lighter. More able to focus on what’s most important.

You don’t want control. You want consistency, stability, security. I can provide those.

Let. Me. Decide.

Ask me to take over.

Say, “please, Sir.”

[kneeledbeauty]

Um, who the fuck are you?  

Why should I hand my control over to you?  Let you run my life?  What’s your qualifications in doing that?

As a complete stranger over the internet, what do I use to distinguish you from, I don’t know, my local psychopath?

Newsflash!  No woman in her right mind is just going to hand over control like that.  You have to prove you can handle it.  Prove you have the stones to deliver what you are promising here.  You’re asking an awful lot.  I mean, if it doesn’t work, you just walk away while the woman’s life is in complete tatters.  Not exactly a fair exchange, now is it?

You want to know what really gets a submissive’s heart going?  What really makes her downstairs purr and what makes her want to submit?  I mean, what makes a woman throw herself at you?

STOP ASKING HER TO SUBMIT.  

No, I”m not fucking kidding.  Stop asking a woman to submit and hand shit over to you and start acting like you are someone she would want to submit to.  Start proving you can handle it, you have what it takes.  Share your thoughts, your dreams, your experiences.  Talk about the sort of dominant you are and how you relate with women.  I said with, not to.

Stop asking for submission and start behaving in a way that makes her want to.

[kneeledbeauty]

Letting my hippie self out.

[hplyrikz]

[purplebuddhaproject]

[asmodeus-cain-deactivated202103]

♌️❤️

[dwpreturns]

^Banksy

[gently-dreaming-deactivated2018]

With all my respect i love women older than me I would fuck u like u are 25 😍😍😍😍😍 Milf :$$

Sweetheart, you caught me on a bad fucking day. Number 1: capitalize your pronouns. Seriously. How old are you? Number 2: spell out your goddamn words. It’s 2 extra letters. Are you in a hurry? Last but not least: 25? You want to fuck me like I’m 25? Does that mean you’re going to finish in 10 minutes, foreplay included, and expect me to applaud afterwards? I am 42 years old. I have given birth to several children. I have scars, stretch marks, wrinkles, gray hair, AND I’m hot as fuck. I don’t want a little boy to fuck me like I’m 25. I want a MAN to fuck me like the woman I am.

[kierdee-blog]

[yesiwill-sir-deactivated2017090]

Ooohhh ouch. And so right. 

[guilty-pleasures-desires]

Well said, perfect

[lovemysub-deactivated20250527]

Been reading ur blog. U need to stop calling urself a dom. All this lovey crap makes real doms sick. A sub is not for respecting and loving. A sub is for using and thats what they like. Its fine that u love ur girl, just dont call urself a dom. Real doms show dominance, use there sub and leave her laying like the cunt slut she is. Bein all sweet, and all that does is give her power over u, which makes u not a dom.

Hi there, Anon. I almost didn’t even dignify this with a response, but I think you’ve actually given me a good opportunity to say something that new doms need to know, so kudos to you. 

First and foremost, let’s establish something right here and now: You don’t get to tell me what I am, and you are damn sure not the leading authority on what does and does not constitute a dominant. For the record, I didn’t wake up one day and decide to be a dom. I never even thought of myself that way until I met belovedsangi 10 years ago. I always had the characteristics of a dom, sure, but I didn’t ever put that title on myself. That title was given to me by my submissive. SHE is the one who wanted to call me Master, and Sir, and sometimes Daddy. I never told her to do these things. But of course, you probably think I am making my point for you and that if I were a REAL domly dom, I would’ve demanded those things. 

And that’s where you have a fundamental issue understanding the meaning of the title. So let me help you with that. 

A dom does not demand respect. He conducts himself in such a way as to be worthy of respect. 

A dom does not bark commands. His presence is such that he can seduce and command with nothing more than a glance. 

A dom does not raise his voice. He is the kind of man who gets what he wants without needing to. 

A dom is not a braggart. He is possessed of a calm, quiet confidence that is evident in his demeanor, the way he walks, the tone of his voice, and all other aspects of him. 

A dom understands balance. He knows that while a firm hand and discipline are critical in this type of relationship, knowing when to be gentle and understanding is every bit as important. 

A dom is a gentleman first and foremost. That doesn’t necessarily mean that he is a fancy man who values the finer things in life, but he does understand manners and protocol. He opens the car door for her. He orders for her if she is having trouble deciding. He treats strangers with courtesy and respect. 

A dom is a protector. He makes sure that his submissive feels safe and protected at all times. This means so much more than just telling her you will protect her. A dom shows her. He keeps a hand on her shoulder or on her waist in crowds so she doesn’t get nervous. He sleeps on the side of the bed closest to the door so that he is always between his submissive and an intruder. He walks on the side of the sidewalk closest to the street so that an errant vehicle will hit him before his submissive. If anything or anyone should threaten his submissive, he must be prepared to fight for her with the ferocity of an alpha wolf. 

A dom earns her submission. It is not a thing to be demanded, expected, or assumed. And he continues to earn it, each and every day.  

A dom values her submission. Fully submitting your will and trusting your body and well-being to someone takes a kind of strength most can’t imagine, and a dom never loses sight of that. 

A dom understands that being a dominant is 10% privilege and 90% responsibility. He is literally taking her life into his hands. He is accepting the most sacred and important thing she has to give. He is taking her burdens and bearing them as his own, always, every day. 

A dom is consistent. He understands that he can’t just be her protector, lover, confidant, master, etc. when he feels like it. There will be days when a dom is tired. There will be days when he is stressed. There will be days when he is broken. On those days, it is more important than ever for a dom to show his submissive that he is still everything she needs him to be. 

So what does it mean, then, to be a dom? I get the feeling that you, anon, would say that it’s all about making her kneel, having your way with her, shouting orders and using her. Helpful hint: Any jackass can buy himself a whip and bark commands. That’s not a dom. Don’t get me wrong, I do absolutely have my way with belovedsangi. I love it when she kneels. I love the kinky, rough, mind-blowing sex we have. I love to dominate her in the bedroom. But for every moment of that, there are a hundred moments of holding her, of talking to her, laughing with her, gaming with her. There are a hundred moments of making her feel safe when she is afraid, giving her confidence when she is unsure, comforting her when she feels troubled. Those are all things that a dominant does too. 

I love my submissive more than I love oxygen. I love my submissive with a fire that can never be extinguished. I value her and respect her in every way. I treat her like a queen and fuck her like a slave. These things don’t make me weak. They don’t make me less of a dominant. These things make me stronger than you can possibly imagine. There is nothing quite so formidable as a dominant who has found the perfect submissive to fuel his fire. Never will you see anyone love so strongly or fight so fiercely. 

Bottom line, Anon, is this: you sound like a boy playing at being a man. You decided one day that you were sick of women having willpower and a voice of their own, so you decided to call yourself a dominant and seek out some weak-willed submissive who wouldn’t talk back to you or stick up for herself. You are not a dom. You are a jackass with a whip. Classic case of toodomforyou.

[firekestrel-deactivated20181219]

I will repost this every time.

[bigdaddy4891-deactivated2017010]

@daddydomanthony

[daddydomanthony-deactivated2016]

Wow this is so powerful.. Preach on brother. This is what I am talking about teaching coaching and mentoring. We need to find these would be Dom’s and either weed them out or educate them. Things get so misconstrued at times and sometimes it takes a hard rebuke to set someone on the correct path.

[sweettequila-freak304]

Found it again so reblogging again…. Forever gonna reblog

[bitsyy-deactivated20190907]

🙌

[x--babygirl-deactivated20160427]

[fairytale-and-whimsy]

Always reblog

[brattybabygirlbunny]

@acheron86

[musinvenusian]

[tohypnofu]

reposting because it is needed

[hucowgoddess-deactivated2019011]

I will never not repost this. That Dom right there knows how to be a Dom and hopefully that stupid anon read this saw the error of his ways and changed. But its unlikely that happened so I hope no subs fall into his stupid trap of abuse and fifty shades of shit type mentality and find a Dom much like this guy because that real man has it right.

Fuck that anon.

[poutinedragon]

This goes for female doms, too. Just thought that needed to be said; dominance doesn’t have to be gender-specific.

[lovemysub-deactivated20250527]

Hi, @jacksandrow! You are absolutely right. Female dominants are valid and awesome, as are male submissives, and in no way did I intend for this post to mean otherwise.

When I wrote this post about a year ago, my blog was fairly new and didn’t have much of an audience. I honestly never thought anyone would see this post aside from my submissive and this anon, and honestly I was feeling some pretty strong emotions when I wrote it, so I didn’t really edit myself. I never in a million years expected this post to blow up the way it did or for my blog to have such a wide audience as a result.

These days I definitely try to write in a more gender neutral manner because I know that the things I wrote will be seen by many, and I definitely don’t want to give the impression that certain genders are locked into certain roles. Thank you for the feedback!

-LMS

[pervocracy]

Kink is an elaborate form of self-harm, y'know. What kind of logic compels you to look at a person running a razor blade across their wrist and say that's awful, yet look at someone choose to get spanked and slapped and say that's absolutely peachy??

Also “elaborate forms of self-harm” by your incredibly well-thought-out “anything that causes physical pain is exactly the same” definition: marathon running, waxing, martial arts, ear piercing, deep tissue massage.  Go bug people who do those things for once.

But to take your question far more seriously than it deserves…

I do self-harm. I have since I was a child.  I’m glad you have my best interests at heart here, but your kind attempt at supporting my recovery is a little misguided.  Because believe me, if guilt and shame and “what’s wrong with you” and “lol ur a freak” made a person stop it, I’d have quit twenty years ago.

I also do kink.  And the difference is… well.  I won’t get into complicated details here.  I’ll just say this.  When I self-harm, it’s because I hate myself.  When my partner hits me, it’s because he loves me.

-

And seriously, could y’all anti-BDSM people please move beyond the idea that harm and abuse are defined by hitting?  It’s so fuckin’ superficial.  Ooh, hitting, there’s a lot of movement and a big sound, must be a real bad thing.  (Although you don’t even stick to that, because I never see you hassling boxers, even though they hit each other in ways that would horrify most kinksters and take far more long-term damage.  But boxing isn’t a scandalous sex thing that’s secretly fun to think about, huh?)

The worst harm that’s ever been done to me, from without and within, was done with words and with rage.  Without those, hitting is just getting some bruises while you’re having a good time, and shit, people do that skateboarding.

[plumbat]

This is an incredibly good takedown of that anon’s attempted point.

[squeuedmoralcompass-deactivated]

Reblogging because shaming people never made them quit a damn thing.

For examples see: overweight people, smokers, drinkers, gamblers, kids who don’t brush their teeth, self harmers, paedophiles…..

Shaming people does not, and will never help.

Unless it’s a consensual, negotiated humiliation scene, in which case, shame away, it will absolutely help….. Me get off….

[multiperv]

I don’t think the OP meant this as nearly as seriously as the respondents took it - at first blush BDSM does sound like a crazy thing to do or submit to -  but the follow-up points are still very good for the “BDSM is terrible!” crowd.

[forgottenfool]

Holy fuck this… this all fucking day long…

[belle-coquette-deactivated20190]

Tl;dr. Calling BDSM an “elaborate form of self harm” means that marathon running, waxing, martial arts, ear piercing, deep tissue massage, FOR CHRIST SAKE CHILDBIRTH is in the same category.

Don’t let the shock value of BDSM color your thinking. Be like Spock and Pinocchio’s fairy godmother: always let your logic be your guide.

[lovemysub-deactivated20250527]

Hi! Kinkster here who also spent 10 years in a boxing ring! The harm I dished out to people and the harm done to me in the ring were *far* greater than the “harm” I’ve ever done to anyone in a kink setting. In fact, decades down the road, it still hurts to breathe because of multiple broken ribs that didn’t have time to heal. I still get post-concussive migraines because of the half-dozen concussions I sustained. I still still don’t see colors the same in my left eye because of all the damage done to it. I still have horrible arthritis in both hands. My knees are still shot. All because of boxing. Add in the broken back from football and holy shit anon, you really ought to be on a crusade against contact sports! Contrast that to the “harm” done in kink, which for the vast majority of us is some bruises that wear off in a few days or weeks. So why aren’t you attacking boxers? Or football players? Because then you don’t get to judge the way other people fuck. Don’t get all self-righteous here, anon. If one consensual activity between two adults that can result in injury is wrong to you, then they all are. Good answer here, @pervocracy.

[freifraufischer]

[badscienceshenanigans-deactivat]

DRAG THEM NEIL

[ceruleancynic]

OH FUCK YEAH 

[lovemysub-deactivated20250527]

If you are a real man,

You will march your ass right down to the store and buy pads and tampons any time she needs you to.

She’s hurting, dude. Don’t be a baby. Taking care of the woman in your life should never feel like threat to your masculinity, and if it does, YOU have the problem, my friend. Not her.

[thatpolychick]

I sent my husband to the store once for feminine products and chocolate…he came back with five bags full of chocolate stuff because “you didn’t tell me what sort of chocolate you wanted, so I got all I could find.” Lol I love that man.

[lovemysub-deactivated20250527]

Hell yeah, @kinkypolychick! That’s how it’s done. Please give Mr. KPC a high-five on my behalf.

[kneeledbeauty]

My partner (Master) has been buying them for me for over 7 years, every time I needed them.  Can’t remember the last time I had to buy them myself.  That’s love right there.

[facesittingaddict]

[thedarkwolf]

Talking is overrated.

[just-a-shopchick-deactivated202]

[bobgalloway55-deactivated202112]

Lol

[dres-k-deactivated20170601]

haha

[kneeledbeauty]

Submission is a gift, revisited

The debate still rages over whether submission is a gift or something earned. My personal take is it is neither and I will explore my thoughts on this here.

I imagine the idea of submission being a gift developed out of submissives feeling they were being taken for granted and went something like this:

Back in the day, bdsm was hidden away, you could only get into a private club if you knew the password, the handshake and were interviewed by a board of 12. (slight exaggeration here). Submissives were seen as precious, it was hard to find any new blood at all because it had to be kept so secret, so any submissive was treated with the utmost respect, while having their arse paddled.

Over time, things became more open and more heard of in society. There were more people open to being submissive and 'giving it a try.' Eventually at some point, bdsm became an accepted part of the fringe of society. Not to be talked about in polite company, but certainly not on the same level as baby killers. I think this is when people started to look at power dynamics and someone got the bright idea that respecting and valuing a submissive gave them too much power in the relationship. I think this is also the time when submissives started to be treated quite badly.

This is where 'submission is a gift' comes in. It's a handy slogan that allows submissives to feel some pride in their side of the slash, to be able to feel respected and to respect themselves enough to walk away if they aren't treated well.

I do not think submission is a gift though and here's why. Using my handy and very impressive google search;

Gift: noun a thing given willingly to someone without payment; a present

Gift: verb inadvertently allow (an opponent) to have something

Submission: noun the action of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person

A gift is something given without expecting anything in return. You give a birthday present to someone or you're out shopping and see something a friend would like, so you buy it as a gift. A polite 'thank you' is expected because of social norms, but it not considered part of a transaction.

Submission is not a one way transaction. You submit to someone expecting them to accept the submission and give dominance in return. When submitting you expect a return, with a gift you do not. It is also not done inadvertently. It's a conscious act made willingly.

“The problem I have with 'gift' is that the word feels like a goal, when the experience is a process. Like "Oh, here's your gift, do you like it? Now please display it prominently on a shelf and remember to dust it every Saturday morning". It has this implication of a done deal, and that short of the house catching on fire, it is going to be sitting between Webster's Dictionary and Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns indefinitely.” @CrossroadsDemon from fetlife(quoted with permission).

This brings me to another problem I have with 'submission is a gift'. A gift is given once. You don't buy a lovely bouquet of flowers to give to someone, then take them back to give to them the next time you see them. You give the gift once and that's it. You can always buy another bouquet if you like, but it's not the same gift.

When you submit, you do not do it expecting it to be a one time event – unless you are agreeing to play with someone at a party and not see them again, but even then, that would be bottoming for a scene and not submitting.

On the contrary, when you offer your submission to someone, it is usually done with the expectation some kind of relationship is, or will, develop and you will be submitting again repeatedly. Even though each time you submit might be different, it is still you submitting. You are the same element every time. You don't offer a different you each time.

You submit, you expect them to dominate and you expect it to be ongoing. That's the opposite of giving a gift.

I do not believe submission is earned either. Submission can only be freely given because the submissive chooses to give it. Trust is earned. You earn trust through your behaviour over time. Submission can never be earned. Someone being willing to submit is an end result of earning their trust, but not the earned thing itself.

I don't think there are any gifts in this at all. Dominance is not a gift. Submission is not a gift. The people are not gifts. 'Gift' unless we are talking about a present here, needs to be done away with.

I think – and this just my thoughts here – the only way it can be seen is as an exchange. You exchange your dominance for my submission. I exchange my submission for your dominance. Both parties meet as equals in that both are human and consenting adults, and both offer themselves to a relationship. Who has the power and how much, is decided by them. What the submissive gives over (never up!) and what the dominant accepts, is also up to them. And they can shape their D/s relationship anyway they want. Call it CNC, TPE, M/s, D/s O/p or fairies and cupcakes for all it matters, the end result is, we have two people (lets keep it simple) who have agreed to be in this thing together and do it their way.

[sirstories]

[gentlemen-always-know]

[mistressvelvetmusings-deactivat]