Chapter 5: “Second Nature” - Clairo
A/N: I would like to thank Alyx Rees for writing the political debate. She's a lot smarter than me in that aspect. Future Madame President <3
“So what, some douchebag broke her heart? You swoop in and fix it. Maybe kill this asshole, while you’re at it.” Cole said, sitting on the edge of Lloyd’s bed. Since Jay’s party the other night, getting any information out of Lloyd involving Liv Branson had been like pulling teeth, Cole had just spent the last forty five minutes trying to guess why Lloyd had hulled himself up in his room for the rest of the weekend. It was now Monday morning, and Cole heaved a sigh, watching Lloyd’s eyes drift to the ground. “Kudos to you for being respectful of her though, Lloyd.”
Lloyd’s eyes drifted over to his phone as it lit up, pouncing on it as soon as he saw Liv’s name was over the banner.
LIV: It’s been eating me alive all weekend
LIV: What did Kai ask you during Paranoia? >:)
Lloyd’s stomach dropped. He flipped his phone face down. Cole saw the text too, looking back at Lloyd. “You’re not gonna tell her, are you?”
“Are you gonna tell me?” Cole asked hopefully.
“No, because I know for a fact you already know. And why would I ever tell her?”
A sheepish smile made its way onto Cole’s face. He did know, because Kai told him. “Well, you could at least respond to her.” He shrugged, getting off of Lloyd’s bed. “Just make something up.”
“Lie?” Lloyd gripped his phone, wide eyed.
“I dunno, just say that the question was like, ‘who is the prettiest girl’ or something innocent. She’s gotta know that you at least think she’s pretty, right?”
“No. Nothing romantic. I don’t want to make her uncomfortable, or make her think I like her.” Lloyd responded quickly while shaking his head.
“Why not?” Cole laughed in Lloyd’s face. “Lloyd, if she doesn’t know that you like her by now, then she’s stupid. You basically had hearts around your head when you saw her after the game.”
Lloyd opened his mouth, then he closed it, then he clenched his jaw as the gears visibly churned in his head. His cheeks were glowing a bright pink. He opened his phone and quickly typed out his text to Liv. Cole tried to lean over to catch a glimpse, but Lloyd pinned him with a dirty look and leaned away.
LLOYD: Lmao Kai was asking something about that musical you’re auditioning for soon. He was probably targeting you and Jay. He was asking who’s more talented, idk I didn’t wanna start any beef before auditions. What musical is it again, btw?
Liv sent him a number of crying emojis. Lloyd’s brain turned on overtime as he tried to come up with a response, but Liv was faster.
LIV: It’s Little Mermaid. And that’s totally not what the question was, you’re a bad liar even over text BAHAHAHA
Lloyd muttered, “Shit…” Cole leaned over even harder to try and see what was going on.
LLOYD: I’m not! I’m being serious! Hahahaha!
Lloyd literally started sweating. Cole noticed, starting to chuckle. “Oh man, what is she saying?”
“That I’m a bad liar!” Lloyd threw his phone on his bed, pressing his hands over his face and groaning.
Cole snorted. “You are. What did you say?”
“I told her it was about the musical.”
Cole smacked Lloyd’s forehead lightly. “Dumbass, Kai doesn’t know that there’s a musical!”
“What? He doesn’t? I didn’t know that! Why?”
Cole shook his head. “Why would he? It’s not like he’s doing it. Anyways, she called you a bad liar?” Lloyd tilted his head back, looking up at the ceiling and groaning loudly. “Okay, Lloyd, you’re being very dramatic right now. Just change the subject, or something. It’s not a big deal.”
“You have no sympathy for me ever.” Lloyd rolled his eyes, putting his hands on his hips. “And besides, it shouldn’t matter, I just want to be friends.”
“Is that right?” Cole deadpanned.
Lloyd glowered at Cole. “I’m worried about crossing a line, okay?”
“By doing what?” Asked Cole. When Lloyd went quiet and started to turn red again, Cole added, “Like by asking her politely if she wanted to hang out romantically?”
For some reason, this mortified Lloyd. “No! I wouldn’t say that!”
“Well, you clearly don’t have the balls to call it a date, so…” Cole raised his hands in a “I don’t know” motion. “What would you say?”
“I wouldn’t say anything. We’re just friends.” Lloyd stated. “It’s going to stay that way, because I’d rather die than make her feel uncomfortable by coming on too strong, or by crossing any boundaries, or whatever. But…you know, I kind of would like to kill this ex boyfriend.” He finished his rant in a quiet tone with a little shrug.
“Because he ruined your chance with Liv?” Cole asked with a smug little grin.
“Well, for hurting her. Nya didn’t go into detail of what he did, but she said this dude was evil.”
Cole raised an eyebrow. “Kai’s sister, Nya?”
“She’s the one that told me about Liv’s ex, and that she’s not ready for anything, and that I shouldn’t come on too strong.” Lloyd heard his phone buzz behind him on his bed, grabbing it immediately.
“Well, I like Nya, but maybe it’s not her place to share that information with you, Lloyd. Maybe you should talk to Liv yourself.” Cole said.
Lloyd wasn’t listening, he was feeling thankful Liv had changed the subject for him.
LIV: Hey, you’ve got that debate in your class today right?
Lloyd had forgotten he’d told Liv about that weeks ago, and the fact that she remembered made his heart feel all fluttery.
LIV: What do you have going on after that?
LIV: I really need you to meet me by that boba bar in the dining hall right after your class is done! I don’t have anything all afternoon, and I really need to talk to you!!
LLOYD: My class gets out at 11
Lloyd's blood stopped in his veins. She needed to talk to him. Naturally, he started thinking of the worst case scenario: he had already come on too strong, and she was going to tell him she didn’t want to talk to him anymore. Maybe he somehow made her uncomfortable? What had he done or said in the past couple days? His mind was racing.
“Oh yeah, you’ve got that thing in one of your poli sci classes.” Cole’s voice brought Lloyd back to reality, seeing him peering over Lloyd’s shoulder to read Liv’s texts. Lloyd pressed his phone against his chest, taking a step away and glaring at him.
“It’s rude to snoop, stop doing that.” Lloyd snapped. “Get out of my room.”
Cole held his hands up in surrender, recognizing Lloyd was overwhelmed. “Okay, okay. I’ve gotta go to my stupid vocal instruction class with my dad anyway. I’ll say hey to Liv for you, I’ll make it a platonic ‘hey’, don’t worry.” He started to back towards the door. “If I’m late to that class again, you’ll need a new roommate.” Cole flung Lloyd’s door open, turning back one more time to look at him. “‘Cause my dad will murder me.” Then Cole was gone. Lloyd blinked at the closed door, having the realization that he wasn’t aware that Liv and Cole had a class together.
He dropped his phone on his bed, sluggishly moving to get on actual clothes that weren’t pajamas. He did have a debate in his Political Ideologies class, and to make matters worse, his debate opponent was a senior. Harumi Hisui was the daughter of one of the most influential members of the House of Councilors, Councilor Hisui, who was famously a legacy student of NSU. Her parents were some of the biggest donors to the university. Harumi was intense, intimidating, somehow was both the most mysterious person ever, and was also involved with nearly every club at the school, and not the person he wanted to debate at the moment while his mind was swimming with anxieties. On top of all of that, Harumi Hisui was famously one of the smartest students to attend NSU ever, and supposedly, she had never lost at anything. At least that was the rumor. Lloyd was just a freshman who she would probably squash like a bug in this debate.
He passed Cole on his way out the door. “Hey, you good?” Cole reached out and grabbed Lloyd’s shoulder.
“I’m fine.” Lloyd sighed, bunching his lanyard in his fists. “I just need to get to my class.” He tried to move past Cole
“Hey Lloyd?” Lloyd turned and looked at Cole again. “Good luck with your debate.”
Lloyd forced a smile. “Thanks. I’m gonna need it.”
Lloyd’s leg was bouncing at an alarming pace under the desk. When Harumi Hisui entered the classroom, the two of them locked eyes immediately. While Lloyd had looked away and back at his notes, he could feel her gaze boring into him as she moved to the back of the room, probably plotting every single way she could make him look stupid. He barely paid attention to the debate before him, heart dropping when the professor spoke up again, Alyx and Rufus McAllister returning to their seats. Based on Alyx’s giddy smile, she had definitely swept whatever the debate topic had been. She shot Lloyd a little thumbs up as she passed. Ever since the party at Griffin’s he had finally realized how many classes that they shared.
“Alrighty then, time for the next debate topic: Authoritarian Governance produces more stable and successful societies than Democratic Systems.” The professor, Dr. Saunders announced to the class. Lloyd was shuffling through his notes one last time. “Miss Hisui will argue in favor, Mister Garmadon will argue against.” Out of the corner of Lloyd’s eye, he saw the white blonde hair of Harumi as she made her way to the front of the class, calm, cool, and collected as always. She had her arms behind her back as she breezed up to the front of the room, looking at him out of the corner of her eye.
Lloyd stood up hastily, knocking all of his notes off the table. He muttered under his breath as he stooped down and frantically scooped all of the notecards up, not bothering to organize them. He stumbled up to the front, avoiding eye contact with Harumi. He could feel her eyes watching him as he struggled. In fact, he could feel the eyes of everyone in his class. He looked up, making direct eye contact with Alyx again, sitting in the middle row. She mustered another encouraging smile at him. Lloyd’s eyes darted away, taking a seat at the desk up front, placing his notes on the table.
There was a moment of pause as Lloyd could sense Harumi, who was sitting right beside him, watching him tap his notecards against the oak table. “Starting the clock.” Dr. Saunders said.
Harumi, with no notes, no nothing, stood from her seat, immediately working the crowd. “Democracy is often framed as the moral ideal, but ideals do not govern nations. Power does, and history shows us, repeatedly, that centralized authority produces stability where democratic systems collapse under indecision. Consider ancient Rome.” Harumi spoke with such confidence, it made Lloyd want to evaporate out of the chair he sat in.
“The Republic fell not because of tyranny, but because democratic institutions became bloated, corrupt, and paralyzed. It was only under Augustus,” Harumi turned her body, facing Lloyd. “Rome’s first emperor,” She explained herself, as if he wasn’t aware. “That order, infrastructure, and economic growth were restored.” The way she had said it made Lloyd want to curl in on himself, talking to him as if she was so much smarter than him. “Or modern Singapore under Lee Kuan Yew.” She continued, turning to Dr. Saunders, then looking back to the rest of the class. “An authoritarian state by definition- strict laws, limited dissent, and yet one of the safest, wealthiest, most efficient nations in the world. Authoritarian systems eliminate gridlock. They act swiftly in crises. They prevent extremism by controlling it. Democracy promises freedom, but rarely delivers it.”
She turned back to Lloyd, waiting for his response. He fumbled with his notes, tearing his eyes away from hers. “Um…yeah…so…democracy isn’t perfect- obviously… If we’re talking about stability…then, um…like… Athens…” He looked around, watching his classmates' faces faltering. Alyx wasn’t even trying to hide her grimace. Shit. He thought to himself in a panic. He flipped through his notes again, brain screaming at him to keep talking, but his head felt both like it was going to explode with swirling thoughts and empty at the same time. He glanced up at Harumi, who was still standing, now with her arms folded. He caught a glimpse of Dr. Saunders, who was the only one waiting patiently for him to recollect himself. Lloyd looked down at his notes again, letting them fall to the table.
A thought struck him. “Actually, I want to start somewhere else.” He said, standing from his chair. Harumi raised an eyebrow at him, watching him curiously. “Authoritarian governments look stable because they silence instability. But silence isn’t peace, it’s pressure.” He made eye contact with Harumi, making his way around the table to stand on her level. Her one eyebrow rose higher.
“With all due respect, emotional rhetoric doesn’t outweigh results.” She recrossed her arms over her ribs. “Democracies fail constantly. The Weimar Republic: democratic, weak, collapsed into extremism.” She lifted a hand, listing her points off on her fingers. “Post-colonial democracies across Africa: unstable, corrupt, overthrown. Even the United States: polarized, gridlocked, incapable of decisive governance. Authoritarianism doesn’t pretend everyone’s voice is equal. It acknowledges reality, not all people are equipped to rule.”
Lloyd caught Harumi off guard. “You’re right. Democracies fail, but so do authoritarian regimes.” He watched her guard start to slip as he spoke, which made him, in turn, start to feel better. “And when they fail, people don’t get to survive the failure. Nazi Germany was highly efficient. Centralized power, rapid economic recovery, massive public works. And it worked…until it didn’t.” He could see body language shift among the class as people leaned in, intrigued. Harumi noticed it too, visibly tensing. “When it collapsed, six million people were already dead. Or the Soviet Union: industrialized fast, controlled dissent, and also engineered famines that killed millions. Authoritarianism is only ‘successful’ if you don’t count the people it sacrifices.”
Harumi countered immediately, dropping her hands to her hips. “Democracies sacrifice people too, through neglect, and through inaction. How many died waiting for democratic governments to agree on healthcare? Climate action? War intervention?”
Lloyd countered just as quickly. “The Great Leap Forward under Mao’s leadership in China was decisive, centralized, and efficient. It also killed tens of millions of people.” He nodded at her. “You’re right to say that Democracies are slow, but that slowness is what gives people a chance to recognize and collectivize. My dad and my uncle grew up in China. They learned very early what not to say, what not to write down, and what thoughts were safer to keep to yourself. My dad told me that when people stopped arguing, it wasn’t because things were better, it was because fear had won.”
Harumi pursed her lips, narrowing her eyes at him “That’s…cute and all, but China lifted hundreds of millions out of poverty. Stability allowed progress.”
Lloyd nodded again. “It did. But that progress came with censorship. Surveillance. Disappearances. And the people who paid that price never got a say on whether or not it was worth it. My dad still lowers his voice when he talks about politics. He’s lived in a democracy longer than he lived under authoritarian rule, and he’s still careful.”
Harumi opened her mouth to argue, but nothing came out. Lloyd’s spirits lifted and a silent shock filled the room. Lloyd Garmadon had left Harumi Hisui speechless.
“And that’s time.” Dr. Saunders spoke up after a long moment of Harumi trying to come up with something to say.
Harumi blanched, turning and gawking at Dr. Saunders. “But I wasn’t done, I was going to say something else.”
Dr. Saunders gave her a good natured shrug. “Them’s the breaks. Let’s get the next people up here.” He chuckled, the rest of the class giggling lightly. Harumi’s mouth opened and closed as she tried to process the fact that she had just lost the debate. Lloyd was just as shocked. Harumi looked over at Lloyd, giving him a hard stare. He saw her clench her jaw as she turned and whisked her way back to the very back row. Lloyd also made his way back to his seat in genuine astonishment.
“Okay, genius.” He heard someone whisper behind him as the next two people, Akita Yazzie and Clancee Serpito, took their places up front. He turned and saw Alyx two rows behind him, leaning down to try and talk to him. She mouthed “good job” to him. Lloyd grinned at her, giving her two thumbs up back.
Lloyd didn’t pay attention to the rest of class, too proud and stunned by his debate. He’d won. He’d won. He could still feel Harumi’s eyes drilling into the back of his head, but he had won the debate he’d been dreading for weeks, so he didn’t really care. When class was finally dismissed, he left as fast as he could, ready to take on the next thing that was making him feel nauseous.
Lloyd made the trek over to the boba bar, with all the confidence of winning that debate being the only thing that kept him from turning around running away. He pushed through the doors, spotting Liv at a table immediately. She shot up out of her chair.
“You. Get over here.” Liv pointed excitedly to Lloyd as he approached. She didn’t seem confrontational at all, which made seeing her face less daunting.
Jay, who was sitting across from Liv, turned in his seat, smiling mischievously. “What’s up, Garmadon?” Jay Walker was the last person Lloyd expected to be sitting with Liv.
“Hello…Jay?” Lloyd stood at their table, looking confused as he started to laugh. “I didn’t realize this was an intervention from the theatre kids.” He stood over both of them, growing more and more confused.
Liv kicked the chair next to her out for him to sit in. “Sit.” She snapped her fingers, pointing down to the chair. “Jay brought an interesting proposition to my attention.”
Lloyd tilted his head, looking at Jay. “Huh?” He started laughing as he sat.
“But first, how was your debate, by the way?” Liv sat forward, placing her elbows on the table and resting her chin in her hands.
Lloyd grinned from ear to ear. “Oh, it was great. I won, actually.”
Liv grinned wider, scrunching her nose. “I know. Alyx told me.” She pushed off of the table, sitting up straight and feigning seriousness again. “Okay. Back to business.” Jay and Liv looked at him schemingly. Jay pressed his fingertips together in a plotting motion, Liv copying him.
“Auditions for the musical are next week.” Jay said, bringing his scheming hands to tap against his chin.
“Next Wednesday and Thursday.” Liv clarified, nodding along, doing the same as Jay with her hands. “And Jay said he told you you should audition.”
Lloyd started to laugh, shaking his head. “Oh, you guys,”
“I think you should.” Liv was nodding her head more firmly this time. “I really think you should. Cole ratted you out and said he hears you playing guitar and singing when you think he’s not home.”
Lloyd stopped laughing, straightening up and looking somewhat horrified. “What?!”
Jay and Liv burst into laughter. Lloyd realized he didn’t think he liked Jay and Liv as a duo, they enabled each other. “Lloyd, it could be fun!” Liv pleaded, reaching out and grabbing his shoulders. “You got me to like lacrosse, so, what if you gave musicals a shot?”
With those big hazel eyes trained on him, Lloyd couldn’t believe the words that left his mouth. “Well…you know what, it could be fun.” Liv and Jay’s eyes both bugged out of their heads. “I mean, the way you’ve been talking about it, Liv, you make it sound kind of fun.”
Liv triumphantly stood, squealing. “Really? Are you being serious?” Lloyd shrunk back in his chair at her sudden over excitement, smiling and nodding.
Jay gawked at Lloyd with a shocked smile frozen on his face. “It was that easy?” He burst into laughter. “All I had to do was get Liv to ask you? Hey Liv, how often can you come to our practices and persuade Lloyd to hang out with us afterwards?”
“You paying me?” Liv asked, grinning.
“Who am I kidding, if you’re there, this kid’s there, right?” Jay looked at Lloyd and winked at him.
All Lloyd could think was how relieved he was that she didn’t tell him that she didn’t want to see him anymore, and all she wanted to was to convince him to try out for something so important to her. The smile on her face was worth saying yes.
“Wait, so is that a yes?” Liv clarified.
Lloyd sat for a moment, looking between Jay and Liv. Liv’s eyes were wide and hopeful, Jay’s were twinkling with something between a smug look and excitement. Lloyd trained his eyes on Liv as he answered, “I guess it is.”
Liv shrieked ecstatically. “Really?!”
“Um, yes?” Lloyd was just laughing, watching Liv’s excitement bubble out.
Jay was watching Lloyd with a curious little smirk. “Is that a question or a statement?” Lloyd shot him an annoyed look. “It’s a yes.” Jay cackled at his face.
“What musical is it again?” Lloyd asked, mostly to Liv, which made her let out a mixture between an exasperated sigh and a laugh. “Kidding! I listen when you tell me things!” He grinned wider when she gave him a playful shove.
Jay let out a loud laugh, covering it up with a cough. “What musical is it then?”
“‘Little Mermaid’.” Lloyd said, less enthusiastic now that Jay was talking.
“I’m impressed.” Jay lilted.
“Shut up, Jay.” Lloyd rolled his eyes, which in turn made Liv giggle. This made his cheeks warm as he smiled at her.
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