The Alchemist

[knightxlight-blog]

                  “I was really hoping that you were a miracle worker. I had one job and now its dead.”

“You could get another one? What's the big deal with this one?”

[knightxlight-blog]

                    “You’ve said all you can on the dead plant situation I’m pretty sure. Probably should call you a little sooner next time.”

“It’s the weather. Messes with all this stuff, there probably wasn’t anything to be done. Regardless of when you called me.” 

[knightxlight-blog]

“I’m not a miracle worker,” Felix lied, looking down at the very, very dead plant. “I don’t know what you want me to say, the weather’s been messing with all the early bloomers.” 

[knightxlight-blog]

“Sorry, I must have missed what’s pleasurable about this situation. I have hundreds of flowers I didn’t ask for, from someone I’m not dating and still a little pissed off at, taking up my living room space. Let me know where in that sentence I’m deriving enjoyment.”

“Woah, hang on, this has nothing to do with your love life.  Ok? I used to do that when you--back in New Orleans. A long time ago. It didn’t always work back then, but sometimes--sometimes it did.” 

[knightxlight-blog]

“How thoughtful of you to remember how much I hate people tracking dirt through my house. So when are you coming to take them back?”

“I try. When they stop being pleasurable, of course.”

[tofreemyrealself]

Marcos Diaz Ft. cute sweater/smiles

[knightxlight-blog]

“That all depends. Are you going to stop turning my house into your own private flowerbed?” 

“They were in vases, to be fair. I thought putting down dirt on your floor would definitely get something thrown at me again.”

[knightxlight-blog]

( “Okay, fill me in here. What are you talking about?” )

“Courts, remember? You’re talking about the justice system, I’m talking about the kind that have a Queen.”

[knightxlight-blog]

             “No one to keep in touch with, yet you still come back here and you’re getting shit thrown at you. Seems like you just didn’t give a shit about their well-being.” She stated with her eyebrow slowly raising towards the male. “Fair enough, just try to keep the shattered shit to a minimum, one day it’s gonna leave more than a small scratch.”

“I don’t give a shit about anyone’s well being,” the imp lied. He didn’t used to care this much, he kind of was nostalgic for those days at the moment, “I wasn’t always this good at ducking,” he offered.

[knightxlight-blog]

“If you’re going to throw something at my head this time, can it be softer?” @lenoredauphine

[knightxlight-blog]

Ophelix - sex

Sex:

Who is on top? - Felix

Who is the one to instigate things? - Equal Opportunity Instigation 

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - Depends on the situation 

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - YES

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

[pouahhh]

make me choose  ↳ boetiesarecool asked: jacktor or jack/gwen, ↳stufenlosregelbar asked: jack x ianto or jack x gwen  

[knightxlight-blog]

Lenix + sex

Sex:

Who is on top? - They alternate. 

Who is the one to instigate things? - Lenny

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - Felix is a 900 year old fae. But if he thinks of Devlin he lasts longer. 

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Yes. 

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

[knightxlight-blog]

Devlix + wedding

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Felix. There were candles and a string quartet involved. 

Who is the best man/men? - Not how they roll. 

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Lenny crashed it, obviously.

Who did the most planning? - Felix, he’s been planning for centuries. 

Who stressed the most? - Felix because he’s extra.

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Families of people they’ve killed, the Fairy Queen. 

[sona-and-friends]

ULTIMATE SHIP MEME!

[lenoredauphine]

misslydiaamartin:

Send a PAIRING (can be a “real” ship or not) and TOPIC, and I have to answer who does what!

General:

Rate the Ship -   Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? -

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - 

How was their first kiss? -

Wedding:

Who proposed? - 

Who is the best man/men? -

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - 

Who did the most planning? -

Who stressed the most? - 

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - 

Sex:

Who is on top? - 

Who is the one to instigate things? -

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - 

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - 

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - 

How many children will they adopt? -

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - 

Who is the stricter parent? -

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? -

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? -

Who is the more loved parent? -

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings?

Who cried the most at graduation? - 

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - 

Cooking: 

Who does the most cooking? - 

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - 

Who does the grocery shopping? -

How often do they bake desserts? -

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - 

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? -

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - 

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - 

Chores: 

Who cleans the room? - 

Who is really against chores? - 

Who cleans up after the pets? -

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? -

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? -

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? -

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - 

Who takes the dog out for a walk? -

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? -

What are their goals for the relationship? -

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? -

Who plays the most pranks? - 

[knightxlight-blog]

              “Not one to keep in touch while away?” Seemed like a stupid question, as Abi never contacted her family since she left New Orleans, leaving in the middle of the night and simply changing her phone number and last name in order to avoid the consequences of her actions. “So keen on leaving, why would you come back in the first place?”

“No-one to keep in touch with,” he said with a shrug. One of the beauties of being immortal. And he hadn’t been one for attachments since, well, for a very long time. “Because,” he said, “I'm always a sucker for a dumb idea. Keeps life interesting.” 

[knightxlight-blog]

( “Okay, clearly me and you are talking about two different courts…” )

“Mine came first--not to mention is clearly superior.”