( “Well, fuck - it’s been awhile since you’ve graced the bar stools of this dive. Was starting to think you’d died in a ditch somewhere and no one had bothered to go find you...” ) @jdarius

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@o-fee-lia
( “Well, fuck - it’s been awhile since you’ve graced the bar stools of this dive. Was starting to think you’d died in a ditch somewhere and no one had bothered to go find you...” ) @jdarius
abifrcyx:
“Cute that you assumed that was me being pissy. Just wanted to notify you that I didn’t know you and first impressions are usually everything. Usually do if you wanna keep the small talk going, but if you’re willing to pay then I guess it’s not a horrible idea to stick around.”
( “God, who the fuck pissed in your cornflakes this morning? Are you always a bitch or does vodka fuck with you? -- Way things are going there wouldn’t have been much small talk anyway. And who the fuck said anything about paying for anything...?” )
cassidytalbxt:
“I’m guessing that must be what happened with you and that cute bartender, unless he found someone else to take care of him —- How about you ask about something you give a shit about instead, Fee. I’m not here to pander to your curiosity anymore than I am to indulge you in anything else.”
Ophelia forced a smile on her lips, hiding the anger at Cassidy’s mention of Jack. ( “I’d ask what happened to Sawyer, but I hear he got himself a set of fangs - so I know all I need to know. He’s probably dead in a ditch somewhere.” ) Ophelia and Cassidy hadn’t seen eye to eye in a long time, thought Ophelia couldn’t really pinpoint where it had all turned sour. Maybe it was just their similar personalities conflicting. ( “Who said I was genuinely interested? Kids my cousin or something after all, right?” )
@jliandrke
( “Don’t supposed you’d be open to buying an old friend a drink...?” )
tate-emersxn:
“Oh that’s exactly what I was aiming for. Less hovelly.” He watched her carefully, for as much as he’d liked Ophelia, he didn’t really trust her – or anyone for that matter. “That’s fucking rich coming from you. People love me in comparison, but nice try. Spare room is yours until you decide to skip town again.”
( “There’s a spare room? I was happy just to share with you - don’t worry. I’d of kept my hands to myself, unless you didn’t want me to; of course.” ) She smirked up at him, fully intending to make him uncomfortable. They’d somehow passed the part in their relationship where they could sleep together, yet she knew they didn’t consider themselves friends. ( “Don’t think I’m gonna be leaving this time...” )
knightxlight:
“Mine came first–not to mention is clearly superior.”
( “Okay, fill me in here. What are you talking about?” )
abifrcyx:
“Who said I was sensitive? Just simply stating a point, so if you’re the one all offended by it, wouldn’t you be the sensitive one? No one, just not a people person.”
( “You got pissy when I called you a pussy. I’d call that pretty sensitive - plus, you don’t gotta be a people person to get drunk together.” )
estebanxjuanes:
“You realize I make minimum wage right?” Which was hilarious considering he owns the antique shop but he always made sure to pay his grandparents and then his employees, it’s the best thing to do? “A toast? Oh god here we go – we’re going to get blackout drunk, aren’t we? I should warn you for someone that hates drinking I have a high tolerance.”
( “You realize I pretty much live off tips, right?” ) Ophelia had picked up her old job at Lyssa place, she wouldn’t really call what she did earning a wage. ( “Okay, sit down grasshopper. Let me teach you a thing or two about high tolerance. Anyway - wouldn’t be drinking with you if I’d have to be picking you up off the bathroom floor before sunrise.” )
evelynxmaxwell:
“ – I thought that people got blackout drunk because they didn’t see it coming – you know?”
( “Most people get blackout drunk because they need to - or want to, it just often sneaks up on you. So sure, you don’t see it coming.” )
prescotttalbot:
“Does anyone in this town have a clean record though?”
( “Exactly why we all fit in around here.” )
brennanxtalbot:
@o-fee-lia;
“Surprised to see you here,” Brennan drawled out the cliche statement as he noticed the brunette at the bar. A typical spot he tended to find her in. “–Mind if I sit?” As the question was tossed out he still slid onto the empty bar stool next to her.
( “Sarcasm doesn’t look good on you Brennan. -- Go ahead.” )
cassidytalbxt:
“I think most people are shocked that it wasn’t you more than anything. They had a fucking betting pool and everything.”
( “I’m smarter than that. Always take care of things before they become something to care about. Sorry you lost your money though. So - what’s the poor kids name?” )
rcryblake:
“I couldn’t even swear when I fell and you think that I have the guts to pull his tongue out? You are definitely overestimating my abilities. I would hope so, I spent good money on that pair of underwear.”
( “Right. Good point. You look like the kinda of girl that’d apologizing for getting in his way as you fell than anything else.” )
clark-r:
“Yeah — as a heads up that tangent was a lot deeper than some bullshit small talk. But, yeah, yeah, I’ll fucking drink with you.”
( “Great. What’s your poison?” )
Ophelian + sex
Who is on top? - Ophelia
Who is the one to instigate things? - Ophelia, lbr.
How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now
How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head
How long do they normally last? - Ophelia has stamina but it depends on how drunk she is when she initiates.
Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Ophelia can be notoriously selfish and will demand he keep going even if he’s done but she’ll never leave him unsatisfied.
How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.
How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory. (Opehlia isn’t a snuggler or very affectionate tbh.)
ULTIMATE SHIP MEME!
lenoredauphine:
misslydiaamartin:
Send a PAIRING (can be a “real” ship or not) and TOPIC, and I have to answer who does what!
General:
Rate the Ship - Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs
How long will they last? -
How quickly did/will they fall in love? -
How was their first kiss? -
Wedding:
Who proposed? -
Who is the best man/men? -
Who is the braid’s maid(s)? -
Who did the most planning? -
Who stressed the most? -
How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.
Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? -
Sex:
Who is on top? -
Who is the one to instigate things? -
How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now
How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head
How long do they normally last? -
Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? -
How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.
How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.
Children:
How many children will they have naturally? -
How many children will they adopt? -
Who gets stuck with the most diapers? -
Who is the stricter parent? -
Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? -
Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? -
Who is the more loved parent? -
Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings?
Who cried the most at graduation? -
Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? -
Cooking:
Who does the most cooking? -
Who is the most picky in their food choice? -
Who does the grocery shopping? -
How often do they bake desserts? -
Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? -
Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? -
Who is more likely to suggest going out? -
Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? -
Chores:
Who cleans the room? -
Who is really against chores? -
Who cleans up after the pets? -
Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? -
Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? -
Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? -
Misc:
Who takes the longer showers/baths? -
Who takes the dog out for a walk? -
How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? -
What are their goals for the relationship? -
Who is most likely to sleep till noon? -
Who plays the most pranks? -
ask