Song Fic #3: Let’s Hurt Tonight [Brinker Hadley/Leper Lepellier]
**First post with this ship. Based on this song*^
When we came home / Worn to the bones / I told myself, “This could get rough.” / And when, when I was off, which happened a lot / You came to me and said, “that’s enough”
Brinker hesitantly approached his sleeping friend. Ever since the war had ended, he had made sure to visit him as often as possible.
“Hey, Lep, it’s me,” Brinker murmured, sitting beside him.
Oh, I know this love is pain / But we can’t cut it from these veins, no
Leper opened his eyes, blinking the sleep out of them. No matter how many times Brinker was there when he woke up, he was always surprised by it. Some part of him - no matter how much he pretended that part didn’t exist - always expected that one day, Brinker would forget about him.
He was just some boy that everyone said went mad - why would Brinker care about Leper half as much as Leper cared about him?
So I’ll hit the lights and you’ll lock the doors
Brinker noticed with a bit of distaste how dark the shadows under Leper’s eyes had gotten.
“I shouldn’t have woken you,” Brinker sighed, a note of disappointment in himself. “It’s getting dark out anyway. I should probably go home - “ He went silent as Leper stood up and walked to the open bedroom door.
“There’s something I need to tell you,” Leper whispered. He closed the bedroom door and walked over to the window, slowly closing it. “Turn the lights out, please.” Brinker blinked in surprise at the strange request but complied, guessing it was another one of his friend’s - god, Brinker hated that word sometimes - stranger quirks.
We ain’t leaving this room ‘till we bust the mold
Leper took a seat beside Brinker and stayed silent for a long moment.
When he finally spoke, his voice was deadly calm.
“Being… being homosexual is illegal,” Leper said, his tone almost bitter.
“It’s always been like that,” Brinker said gently, not quite knowing where Leper was going with this.
Don’t walk away, don’t roll your eyes / They say love is pain, well, darling, let’s hurt tonight
“Not always. At one point, back in the middle ages, it was common. People didn’t think much of it. Now… did you know that men who were taken prisoner by the Germans got sent back to jail if they were gay?” Leper rambled, his eyes wide.
“Oh…” Brinker exhaled softly.
“They said I was crazy,” Leper laughed quietly.
“I’m in love with you, so I must be.”
When you came home / Worn to the bones / I told myself, “This could get rough”
Leper didn’t remember much else about that evening. In all honesty, Brinker didn’t either. Leper remembered the fact that Brinker kissed him, but past that… he wasn’t really sure. He woke early the next morning with Brinker’s possessive arms around him.
“Good morning,” Brinker mumbled, keeping his eyes closed. Leper was the first to break the peaceful silence that settled around them.
“We’ll be in trouble if people find out,” Leper said, burying his face in Brinker’s chest. “I don’t… I never meant to get anyone in trouble.”
“All you and Gene and Finny did was drag me into trouble,” he replied, laughing with no humor in his voice.
“You’re as crazy as I am.”
I know you’re feeling insane / Tell me something that I can explain
“You’re not crazy, Lepellier,” Brinker retorted, closing his eyes. Leper got up, gathering his clothes and getting dressed.
“You don’t know the things I saw,” Leper said, trembling as if the temperature in the room had dropped. Maybe it had - they both felt cold all over.
“They were visions, Lep, they weren’t real - “
“You don’t know the things I saw,” he whispered forcefully, an undercurrent of aggression in his normally passive voice.
“You never understand what you can’t see,” Leper said, wheeling to face Brinker. “You think that if it can’t be measured, can’t been seen by everyone, can’t be felt, that it doesn’t exist.”
“Some things have to be taken on faith-“
“Which you don’t have. I remember how you’d look during church at school. You don’t have an ounce of faith in you,” Leper accused. Brinker stood, head held high and glasses slightly askew. His hair was messy and his eyes were soft, almost pitying.
Leper didn’t want pity. He wanted someone - anyone - to have faith in him. He glared at Brinker, glared at the marks he’d left on the base of the taller boy’s throat and felt like he’d been condemned by both.
He’d fallen in love with someone so bitterly out of his reach and he despised it. He loathed that no one believed him, loathed that no one took him seriously.
I’ll hit the lights and you’ll lock the doors / Tell me all of the things you couldn’t before
“I loved you since that day freshman year,” Leper admitted, staring out the window. “That day we went on a walk and found the beaver dam. It was before you were so serious. It was before you started treating me like a piece of glass.”
Brinker frowned, remembering exactly what Leper was referring to.
It had been the day before school let out, and Leper had dragged Brinker along on his nature walk.
Clear as day, Brinker could remember the crooked grin on Leper’s face when they found the animals.
“I love you,” Brinker said quietly. “I didn’t yet, not then, but I do and I have since the night you enlisted.”
Don’t walk away, don’t roll your eyes / They say love is pain, well, darling, let’s hurt tonight / If love is pain, well, darling, let’s hurt tonight
“We’re going to spend the rest of our lives hiding,” Leper growled, clenching his fists. “You’d think there’d be something we could do, something we could…”
“I’m moving to California,” Brinker said, staring into space. “I’ve heard a lot of good things about San Francisco. They’re accepting of people like… us.”
“California?” Leper echoed.
“We can get a little apartment in the city and…” Brinker trailed off, sighing deeply. “If it’s ever allowed… We can get married.”
Leper smiled, a warm feeling of affection sweeping through his body.
“Someday,” Leper murmured. “It’ll happen. We’ll see it.”
-Mod X (Mod A has a few stories that should be up within the next couple days.)
