𝘾𝘼𝙋𝙏𝘼𝙄𝙉

𝙋𝙝𝙞𝙡𝙞𝙥 𝙅𝙤𝙝𝙣 "𝙅𝙤𝙝𝙣𝙣𝙮 𝙆𝙣𝙤𝙭𝙫𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙚" 𝘾𝙡𝙖𝙥𝙥 ☠ RP BLOG. DO NOT INTERACT OUTSIDE OF HFRP DISCLAIMER

[knxvlle]

𝙅𝙊𝙃𝙉𝙉𝙔 𝙆𝙉𝙊𝙓𝙑𝙄𝙇𝙇𝙀 🎂 55 | 👤 𝑴𝑨𝑵 | 🧲 𝑾𝑶𝑴𝑬𝑵 | 📏 6'1" | 📍 𝑪𝑨𝑳𝑰𝑭𝑶𝑹𝑵𝑰𝑨 | 🌎 𝑨𝑴𝑬𝑹𝑰𝑪𝑨𝑵 | 🍷 𝑺𝑶𝑴𝑬𝑻𝑰𝑴𝑬𝑺 | 🚬 𝑵𝑶 | 🍃 𝑵𝑶 | 💊 𝑵𝑶 | 💼 𝙎𝙏𝙐𝙉𝙏 𝙋𝙀𝙍𝙁𝙊𝙍𝙈𝙀𝙍, 𝘼𝘾𝙏𝙊𝙍, 𝙋𝙍𝙊𝘿𝙐𝘾𝙀𝙍

🔍 𝑭𝑰𝑮𝑼𝑹𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑶𝑼𝑻 𝑴𝒀 𝑫𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑮𝑶𝑨𝑳𝑺

Looking for someone who laughs before asking, "Are you okay?" because statistically speaking, the answer is usually "probably not."

𝑾𝑬'𝑳𝑳 𝑰𝑵𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑵𝑻𝑳𝒀 𝑯𝑰𝑻 𝑰𝑻 𝑶𝑭𝑭 𝑰𝑭…

You think a trip to the emergency room counts as quality time. Or if you've ever looked at a terrible idea and said, "Well, now I kinda wanna see what happens."

𝑨 𝑺𝑯𝑶𝑾𝑬𝑹 𝑻𝑯𝑶𝑼𝑮𝑯𝑻 𝑰 𝑯𝑨𝑫 𝑹𝑬𝑪𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑳𝒀

Every warning label exists because somebody had an incredible afternoon.

𝑰'𝑳𝑳 𝑷𝑰𝑪𝑲 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑻𝑶𝑷𝑰𝑪 𝑰𝑭 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑽𝑬𝑹𝑺𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵

Tell me about the scar you're most proud of. I've got time. And probably one to match.

[cupofjoes]

Four movies upcoming? Holy shit, dude; congrats. I always joked that everybody and their goldfish has a podcast now, but joke's on me 'cause my brothers and I have been shooting the shit on a pod and it's actually been a ton of fun. Are you liking the podcast? I'm such a rambler anyway that it's kinda' cool that people want to hear me yap about stuff. The biggest 'new in my world' type thing is I'm getting married in a week... which, whew, I am freaking out about in the best way possible. What about you? What's the latest? Any controversial opinions on breakfast? For example, I'd eat a burger for breakfast every day if it wasn't a terrible health decision and subject to public scrutiny -- much like my failed parallel parking attempt.

[knxvlle]

A week?! Jesus, Joe, that's not "getting married," that's actively hurtling toward marriage at an alarming speed. First off, congratulations, brother. And second, if you're not freaking out at least a little bit, I'd be concerned. I think anybody who says they weren't nervous before their wedding is either lying or suffered a head injury. Which, in my case, admittedly complicates things. And thank you. The movies have definitely been keeping me busy. I still don't know how that happened. Every year I assume people are gonna collectively decide they've seen enough of me and then Olivia Wilde calls like "So the movie is called I Want Your Sex...". As for the podcast, I've actually been loving it. We've recorded two episodes so far and they're out on June 18th. It's funny because I thought it'd just be an excuse to catch up with people and tell a few stories, but it turns out I genuinely enjoy sitting around talking nonsense for an hour. Which probably isn't surprising to anybody who's ever met me. Everybody made fun of podcasts until they started one. It's like becoming a dad. One day you're rolling your eyes and the next you're explaining microphone setups and episode schedules to strangers. A burger is just breakfast if you stop being a coward about it. People will eat eggs, bacon, cheese, bread, hash browns, and some mystery breakfast sauce stacked together and call it a breakfast sandwich. But the second you replace the sausage patty with a burger patty suddenly society has standards? I reject that hypocrisy. My controversial breakfast opinion is that breakfast food should be available twenty-four hours a day. If I want pancakes at midnight, that's between me, god, and the waitress at the diner. Also, I need to know more about this parallel parking incident because the phrase "subject to public scrutiny" makes it sound like witnesses were involved, and that's usually where the best stories begin. We listen and we don't judge, I'm a terrible driver, and a worse parker.

[k3ll1n-qu1nns-number1slvtt]

Just because the wrapper is wrinkled don't mean the candy ain't sweet

[slayyyter]

[srahpaulsons]

Concerning as in....it may not actually be the last ? or it's kind of like a light threat to the audience. Turn it into those long fast and furious movie titles and just keep coming back. I say, never question it. I've found that there'll always be an audience to even our most stupidest stories, dude. Is the podcast just a casual conversation, or it there a specific topic besides running rampid down memory lane....and how do i get on your guest list. I'm in the middle of shooting two shows back to back and it goes from horror to cunty lawyer’s within a few hours of itself - and i'm surprised i even remember my own name, honestly. But i'll cut the boring stuff here and give you a very strong, current opinion i have that's divided me with people lately and it's about pigeons. I can't vibe with anyone who hates pigeons, man. Don't trust them. People are being jerks.

[knxvlle]

See, that's exactly the concern. We call it Best and Last, and then five years from now somebody pitches Jackass: Best, Last, Final, We Mean It This Time and suddenly I'm standing in a parking lot wondering why I've agreed to get launched out of something again. You're right, though. Never question it. The second you start trying to figure out why people enjoy watching us tell stories about getting hit in the nuts, you've already lost. The podcast's probably going to be pretty loose. We tell stories about all the terrible things that have happened on Jackass, some behind the scenes info, wander off topic, accidentally end up discussing something completely unrelated, and then eventually find our way back. It airs on June 18th. You're absolutely on the guest list. I feel like it'd take us about four minutes before we got completely sidetracked from whatever we were supposed to be talking about. Hold on. Horror to cunty lawyer in the span of a few hours? That's got to do something weird to your brain. You're over here bouncing between being haunted and filing objections before lunch. No wonder you can't remember your own name. I'd be introducing myself to mirrors. Now. More importantly. The pigeon thing. I am with you one hundred percent. Pigeons are getting slandered. These birds have been hanging around cities for centuries, minding their own business, surviving entirely on french fries and spite, and people act like they're public enemy number one. You know what I don't trust? People who have a passionate hatred of pigeons. That's weird behavior. A pigeon has never cornered me at a party and explained cryptocurrency. A pigeon has never tried to sell me a timeshare. A pigeon sees me, bobs its little head, and keeps it moving. That's a respectable way to live. I think pigeons deserve better PR. That's my official position.

[armstrongbillie]

Jesus Christ, four movies? Do you rest? How does it feel to know jackass is still thriving? How do you feel about the title? Concerned or confident? I didn’t realize you did a podcast too. I’m gonna have to check it out. My world is different these days! Got a divorce, getting married in a few months, doing things with pinhead for a little.

[knxvlle]

Four sounds a lot more impressive when you say it like that. In reality it's mostly me running around trying to remember where I'm supposed to be and convincing myself that caffeine counts as rest. A little bit of both. Confident because we've survived this long. Concerned because every time we've said "last one" in the past, somebody eventually comes up with an idea that's just stupid enough to pull us all back in but this time we mean it. Yeah Jeff started Jackass: The Podcast, it'll just be the two of us talking about all the bad decisions we've made in the last 25 years, and we'll have some of the Jackass family on each week. The first two episodes officially drop on June 18th. But hold on a second—your world sounds a whole lot more eventful than mine right now. A divorce, getting married in a few months, and spending time with Pinhead? That's a sentence I definitely wasn't expecting to read today. First off, congratulations on the wedding. That's huge. How are you feeling about it all? Excited? Nervous? A little bit of both? I haven't seen you in so long man, I had no idea you and Adrienne weren't together anymore, now I feel like a shithead. And secondly, "doing things with Pinhead for a little" is the most casually mysterious thing I've heard all week. You can't just throw that out there and move on. I need details.

[margqualleys]

i'd say the title is fitting mostly due to what that show was and this coming from someone that mostly saw clips and heard about it over actually watch myself. four movies coming is amazing though, means not break from seeing you, which we love. yeah, why are you surprised ? hey, sounds like a podcast my boyfriend would be proudly listening to though. for me mostly just getting used to the fact my twin boys are a year old now, back to filming currently and i have a project releasing this year as well. nothing more exciting at the moment.

[knxvlle]

It really is a love letter to the fans. That's what we were hoping to make. I'm surprised every single time. I've spent the better part of my adult life getting hit by things, at some point you'd think people would collectively go, "You know what? I think we've seen enough of this guy." Yet somehow they keep calling. I'm not asking too many questions. Tell your boyfriend he's exactly the kind of audience we're aiming for. If he enjoys hearing grown adults recount terrible decisions with way too much enthusiasm, he'll fit right in. Kids have a way of bending time. One minute they're tiny potatoes wrapped in blankets, and the next they're running around the house making demands and somehow operating technology better than their parents. And you're back filming too? That's huge. Between raising twins and working, I feel like you've buried the lead here. You say "nothing more exciting" like you're not juggling enough responsibilities for three people. What's the project that's coming out this year? Can you talk about it yet, or am I gonna get the mysterious Hollywood answer where you tell me just enough to make me curious and then disappear into a cloud of secrecy?

[knxvlle]

Things have been pretty busy on my end lately; I have four movies upcoming —including Jackass: Best and Last, which is either a very confident title or a very concerning one depending on how you look at it. I'm still surprised every time somebody offers me a job. The podcast's in full swing now, and somehow people keep letting me sit in front of a microphone and tell stories from a lifetime of questionable decisions. What's new in your world? Any exciting adventures, life updates, near-death experiences, or surprisingly strong opinions about something random? I'm not picky. | @hfrpstarters

[niallfame]

I didn't get the chance to ask yet, but how did you enjoy Cancun? I have to say that it was the perfect trip, and I feel like we didn't even cover the surface of what the place has to offer. @hfrpstarters

[knxvlle]

Ah, now that's just rubbing salt in the wound, sweetheart. I didn't make it to Cancun. You're over here asking me how I liked it while I'm sitting here living vicariously through everybody else's vacation photos. From everything I heard, though, it looked incredible. That's the thing with places like that too—you can spend a week there and still leave feeling like you only saw ten percent of what it has to offer. Which is probably a good thing, otherwise there'd be no excuse to go back. What was your favorite part? Was it one of those places where the destination was the highlight, or was it the company you were with? Cause sometimes that's the thing you end up remembering most years later.

[gracevcnpttn]

it has been awhile since i have seen my friends from school and to know that two of them are mothers is crazy to me. after cancun i got invited to go to lunch for one of my friend's daughter's eleventh birthday along with two of her daughter's friends. i've never babysat a day in my life, but spending almost an entire day with my friends and their kids i gotta say, i enjoyed it. it is pretty funny to see them go crazy in the afternoon, only to get really tired throughout the day and have resting bitch face at the end of the night because they tired themselves out. i told them not to go crazy at the arcade and the playground, but hey, kids huh, seems as though they don't listen to anyone these days. @hfrpstarters

[knxvlle]

Man, isn't that weird? One day you're sitting in class throwing paper balls at each other, and the next thing you know they're responsible for entire human beings. I still feel like I'm about seventeen half the time, so every time one of my kids has a birthday, my back starts to hurt a little more. But yeah, kids are awesome. They wake up every morning with a full tank of gas and absolutely no regard for the consequences. You tell them not to run, they sprint. You tell them not to climb something, suddenly they're halfway up a tree. The best part is watching the battery drain in real time. They spend six hours acting like they're powered by nuclear energy and then around dinner time they hit that wall and look like disgruntled middle managers who just got asked to stay late on a Friday. Sounds like you got a pretty good taste of the fun version too. You get all the laughs, arcade games, and playground adventures, then at the end of the day you hand them back to their parents and go home to a quiet house. That's what I call winning. Though honestly, if you've survived a full day supervising a herd of eleven-year-olds, I think that technically counts as babysitting now. Congratulations. You've unlocked a new life achievement. The pay is terrible, but the stories are pretty good.

[knxvlle]

You know, I've been hit by bulls, tasers, beanbag cannons, and several grown men. For some reason, talking to you was still the scariest part of my week. | @aubreyplcza

[khloetheunstoppable]

Aweee so gay and shit ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

[flowerbunniii]

[knxvlle]