Shawn Mendes

Shawn Peter Raul Mendes / 27 / Singer, Musician and Songwriter ((DISCLAIMER: Unless stated otherwise, none of the gifs or photos used on this blog are mine (at the time of posting, content creators' rules allow their media to be used). All credit goes to the respective owners/creators. If something needs to be credited specifically or taken down, please message me politely and I will do so.))

[shcwnmvndes]

Loving all these collabs that you're doing. Now I have to ask when are we doing one?@kelsxaballerini 

[knxvlle]

Oh good for you man, that's awesome.

[shcwnmvndes]

I don't deserve them but I want them and I changed for the better. Funny how the right person can change you.

[billieeilishfame]

Private: oh? and if i find you, do i get to keep you for the rest of the night, or are you gonna make me earn it? ;)

[shcwnmvndes]

Private: Why don't you come earn it. I know you know just the way to talk me into it.

[sebastianseb]

Seb: oh, I’m good! Thanks for asking though. Honestly, I was just enjoying the djo concert haha yeah? Who is the lucky someone?

[shcwnmvndes]

shawnmendes: Joe puts on a great show. I can't get Billie out of my mind. I think she feels the same way and it's scary but a good scary.

[scbrinasannlynn]

don't make me talk about why, shawn, but also — i can leave the past behind and we can start new. just know you really meant a lot to me then. haha, could be, and this year, i'm so joining the married club, i can't wait for jenna to be my wife. maybe i can convince you to sing at the wedding ?

[shcwnmvndes]

I'm not going to twist your arm and would rather we talk about the present because I know I was a jerk. I miss your stupid jokes so I'm glad we can start fresh. I know I did and you meant a lot to me too. For what it's worth, I'm sorry that I hurt you. I'm very happy for you and think she's perfect for you. You want me to? I would be happy to sing at your wedding if you mean that.

[knxvlle]

Oh no, which one? With Wee Man? The seated 69. Not Wee's favorite position but it might be mine. Things are pretty awesome man, thanks for asking. You got much going on?

[shcwnmvndes]

Busy with life, reconnecting with someone and enjoying how it's going. I thought I had lost them but it looks like it's all going to work out.

[shcwnmvndes]

DM: not as cute as you, Billie Bear. Come find me? @billieeilishfame

[sebastianseb]

Sebstan: the problem is that I was mixing my liquor haha I started with tequila, shifted to vodka, and ended my night with whiskey haha

[shcwnmvndes]

shawnmendes: that is never a good thing. are you okay? my attention was on a certain someone.

[shcwnmvndes]

Shawn Mendes attends the World Cup Finals

[sebastianseb]

Sebstan: this hangover is so real.

[shcwnmvndes]

shawnmendes: what had you drinking?

[billieeilishfame]

The words on the page blurred long before she realized she was no longer reading them. That familiar voice settled over her like a song she’d spent months trying not to play, and the moment Billie looked up, the rest of the café quietly disappeared. Her breath caught somewhere in her chest. Seven months had done absolutely nothing to prepare her for the reality of him. He was still the face she’d searched for in crowded airports, the voice she’d caught herself missing in the quietest moments of the day, the person her heart had stubbornly refused to make room without. She hated how quickly every carefully built wall inside her began to crumble. It would have been so much easier if seeing him felt different. Instead, it felt devastatingly familiar. A soft, disbelieving laugh slipped past her lips as she shook her head, her smile growing despite every promise she’d made to herself in the car. “I think I can make an exception for you” she replied playfully as she rose to her feet. For a moment, she didn’t move. Billie simply looked at him, her eyes wandering over features she had spent seven months trying not to remember so perfectly. The second her crystal blue eyes met his deep brown ones, she forgot every conversation she’d rehearsed on the drive over. There was something almost cruel about how natural this still felt. How she so easily wanted to go back to their old routine. Her heart raced so fiercely she was sure it would give her away if she stood there another second. The younger singer swallowed hard, a tiny smile tugging at the corner of her lips as if seeing him had answered a question she’d been asking herself for months. “Hi…” she whispered, the single word carrying far more feeling than she’d ever intended. Remembering the promise they’d made, she stepped forward and slipped her arms around him. She had told herself it would be quick. Just a hug between friends. Instead, the moment she felt him against her, everything inside her quieted. She closed her eyes and held him a little tighter than she’d planned, her fingers curling gently into the fabric at the back of his shirt as if trying to convince herself this was real. Time seemed to slow around them, and she didn’t want to rush to be the first to pull away. When she finally leaned back, it was only enough to look at him again. Her eyes never left his, and for a fleeting second it felt dangerously easy to forget every promise they’d made to keep this simple. She swallowed against the lump rising in her throat, a fragile smile breaking through anyway. “I was so scared that seeing you again was going to hurt.” She paused, her voice barely above a whisper. “I just wasn’t expecting it to feel like coming home.”

[shcwnmvndes]

As soon as her blue hues met his brown ones, he felt a jolt inside. A reminder from the past of her looking at him in happy times, intimate times and yes the not so happy ones too. There had been no preparing himself for when they first looked at each other again and he took in her features. She was just how he remembered and it scared him with how fast his heart was beating, how he wanted her to stand and hug him as if the world around them didn't exist because right now it didn't. Seven months had done nothing to quieten his love for her and he knew this wasn't going to be as easy as he had told her it would be. Her laughter filled his ears and made his smile grow wider as she stood up and for a moment they just stared at each other. Both looking back into the past as it met the present and trying to decide how to act with their emotions. "You're still as pretty as ever." Words that he knew he shouldn't say but words that he felt. They weren't lies, she would always be the prettiest to him.

As her arms moved around him, he brought his up to encircle her and against his better judgement, he pulled her close against him. She hadn't pulled quickly away so he felt it was okay to hold her like this though it was the embrace of lovers who wanted their bodies pressed against each other. He felt her fingers curl into the back of his shirt almost how they did his skin in intimate moments together. "You feel so good in my arms." The words falling from his lips as his head rested close to hers, so close that he had to fight the urge to kiss her. Her perfume wasn't lost on him and another compliment fell from his lips. "You always smell so good too. It should be a crime, maybe I should make a citizen's arrest, cuff you and carry you away." He had always had a way with words and today was no different. Sensing her need to know it was real, his head dropped near her ear and whispered. "I'm right here. I'm real and I'm not going anywhere. This isn't a dream where you open your eyes and are holding your pillow." As she leaned back, his tongue instinctively wet his lips and he was so close to kissing her but instead his eyes stayed on hers, locked in a passionate gaze. "I wasn't sure what I would feel, I'm glad it doesn't hurt to see me. I think we're both feeling the same thing and never want this to end." One of his hands left her back to moved under her hair and stroked the back of her neck, slow sensual strokes along her skin. "Somehow I knew it would after everything we said and didn't say. We should sit before I end up breaking my promise and kissing you." He didn't move to sit though, instead his eyes moved from hers to her lips then back to look at her again.

[billieeilishfame]

Toronto had never really stopped feeling like Shawn. Billie noticed it the second she crossed into the city. The familiar skyline, the neighborhoods he’d proudly shown her over the years, the little cafés and side streets that had become theirs without her ever realizing it. It was strange how a place she’d never called home could still feel so full of someone else. As she turned onto another quiet street, her grip tightened around the steering wheel. Seven months. Seven months without seeing him in person. Without hearing his laugh from across a room or reaching for his hand out of habit. She had spent those months convincing herself that time would make this easier, that eventually loving him would stop feeling so all-consuming. Instead, she’d only gotten better at carrying the ache where no one else could see it. Friends. That was the agreement. Just two people catching up over coffee. She repeated the word in her head like it was something she could practice believing but it still felt foreign. Shawn had been so many things to her. Her best friend. Her lover. Her safe place. The person she’d imagined growing old beside. Somewhere along the way he had become the love she couldn’t quite leave behind.

Billie pulled into the small café’s parking lot and switched off the engine, letting the silence settle around her. This was one of the places they’d randomly found together years ago. She hadn’t thought about it in months, yet the memory returned as clearly as if it had happened yesterday. Taking one slow breath, she climbed out of the car and made her way inside, the familiar scent of espresso and warm pastries greeting her almost immediately. She offered the barista a polite smile, took a small menu from the tray, and then chose a quiet table tucked away from prying eyes. After setting a well-loved paperback on the table, she glanced toward the entrance just once before lowering her eyes to the page in front of her. The words blurred together almost instantly, her mind far too occupied to follow the story, but it gave her restless hands something to do while she waited for the first face she had spent all this time trying so desperately not to miss. @shcwnmvndes

[shcwnmvndes]

This should be easy, it was home and his Billie Bear was coming to see him. She wasn't his anymore but god how he wanted her to be and he felt that she wanted the same thing. He was nervous and fidgeted as he got dressed, changed his mind and then got redressed. He wanted to look good for her and everything needed to be perfect from his clothes to his hair. Standing there in the mirror, he styled it and then combed through it since one of his curls kept sticking up. "Lay down and look good." He told his hair in a half joking, half serious voice. When finally content with his hair, he grabbed his cologne and splashed it on. He looked good, he smelt good, now to try and not sweat all over himself before meeting up with her. It has been seven months, seven long agonizing months and he could ruin it all if he wasn't careful. They were meeting as friends and only friends. Two hugs and that was it. He had promised her and he was going to do his best to keep his word because he owed her that. All this could have been avoided had he talked to her about it but there was no point in rehashing all that. They were in a good place now and he wanted them to stay there.

The ride to the café felt like it took forever but it was actually only a twenty minute drive, of which he had played and replayed their meeting over and over in his head. How it could go bad, how it could go good, what to say, what not to say. Shawn parked and sat there a few minutes in silence. It was time to see the woman he still loved, face to face and help both of them through this. Stepping out of the car, he made his way to the door and walked in. The aroma already filling his nostrils as he took it all in and glanced around to see if she was there. His eyes found her almost immediately and he felt his heart skip a beat. Taking a deep breath he walked over to the table and in a low almost silken voice, he asked her the silliest of questions. "Is this seat taken?" He wasn't sure whether to seat or wait for one of his promised hugs but chose the later as he looked at her with a small smile on his face. "It's my favorite table and I hate to drink alone."

[shcwnmvndes]

I swear you're always making me laugh so thank you. I saw that post on your social media and cracked up. How's things going? @knxvlle

[shcwnmvndes]

Your dog is so pretty and that was such a cute video. @knxvlle

[tylrswfts]

Shawn, you're so sweet -- thank you for all the love and for being there. It was so special in part due to how many of the people we love and care about showed up! I would love to do a collab -- maybe one of your songs this time? I'd lose my mind over a duet on Lost in Japan with you, just saying.

[shcwnmvndes]

I wouldn't have missed it for the world. You have always been so good to me and I won't ever forget that. We can do that. I'm meeting up with someone in a day or so but I'll stop by and see you when I'm back unless you're on your honeymoon.

[niallfame]

Private: Oh... Well, coming from someone who recently went through something similar, burying those feelings would be more detrimental than helpful. Do you still have feelings for Billie? Like, strong enough feelings to still want her?

[shcwnmvndes]

Private: I think so too but I don't want to cause her any problems or her end up hurt worse then she is. I do, I still love her. I never stopped loving her.

[billieeilishfame]

Billie: always. No matter what happens between us, I need you. Nothing you do is ugly to me. I wasn’t abandoning you either. I wish we spoke about all of this when it was happening. Maybe we would still be together. I do feel that way. And you’re not scared by that? Shawn, when I was friend zoning you I was just so young and dumb. I didn’t mean to hurt you. The whole idea of us made me nervous, until one day it didn’t. I’m so sorry that I hurt you. I need you to know that I’ll always care about you. More than anyone ever could.

Billie: I want to hug you. I miss you. I just don’t know if one hug is enough. No, if you think we can do this together, then we can do it. Plus, the more I think about it the more I just want to spend time with only you. I haven’t seen you in so long and I just want to hear about everything you’ve been up to. Listen to you talk for a while. Okay, deal. When do you want to come? That’s dangerous and we both know it.

[shcwnmvndes]

Shawn: I wish we had too because I think we could have made us work. We wouldn't have gone all this time without each other. So much time wasted when we could have been together, Billie Bear. I'm not scared of you Billie, I'm scared of not being with you and losing you again. Will you? I'll always be here for you no matter what. No more disappearing, no ghosting, no hurting each other. Communication, like we're doing now.

Shawn: Okay you can have two hugs, fair? I was hoping you trusted us enough for that. I will tell you everything and make you laugh with my jokes. I'm bringing you a tour hoodie too. Something you can wear when I'm not there but not now since it's hot as hell. Where are you right now? I can leave tonight and be there tomorrow unless you're very far then it would probably be Tuesday. I always liked living on the edge