[koalaaaaaaaaaaawrites]

A year ago today I felt anguish - real, crippling sadness that seeped through my system all day- and soaked myself in self-blame

because I killed a plant.

I had to message my mom in a middle of a weekday, to tell her how a plant died in my hands - and she had to painstakingly explain and make things light, reiterating that plants are living things.

Yet she knew it wasn’t just about the plant I was asking about - I asked what would happen if I abandon a dream?

Then plant a new one.

[koalaaaaaaaaaaawrites]

At some point, you learn to stop explaining yourself- 

to trust that time will take its course, and to realize that if they really wanted to learn, they’d ask.

.. and what if the faith and time won’t suffice?

Then at least, you’d have no regrets for trying. 

Trying, keeping the faith this time.

[koalaaaaaaaaaaawrites]

No filter

...'Cause when I realised I was happier receiving things I didn't expect

than rejoicing for the outcome of things I worked hard for,

I knew it wasn't validation for my accomplishments that I needed —

but the assurance that even when I won't meet them,

I'd still be loved anyway.