My name is Star, I am starthetrickster on discord and I have been recently accused of MAJOR offenses, including racism, boundary crossing and just generally being a shitty person. I have reason to believe that these claims were made without proper context and they did not provide me with the opportunity to explain myself, choosing to block me without prior explanation, leaving me confused and unsure of what I did wrong.
These accusations caused me to get banned in the Myth server, which is blowing things way out of proportion.
I will refute these accusations one by one but please know I will not be saying any names because I do not wish to harass anybody, I'm just trying to explain myself.
Screenshots will NOT be included [for all] because I do not wish for them to feel targeted and I do not want anybody to look for them and the way they speak. Please, don't do anything in my name.
[This is not relevant for more in-depth accusations about my supposed 'emotional abuse'.]
Racism:
I was accused of racism and fetishization of Black People, because I had a small crush on a Black person [which was misunderstood to be 'weirdly obsessed', when I was only telling that fact to my close friends and anyone I trusted. I did not mention this fact to anyone else.]
> Another addition is that they mentioned I had this crush while I was in a relationship with my ex partner at the time, neglecting to mention the fact my partner had a crush on the same guy as well. When it was revealed to be mutual, only then did I explain/expand more.
They also said that I was weirdly obsessed with another black man, which, again, was not the case because I was only excited to speak with him because I found him interesting and funny.
Another thing they mentioned was my imaginary partner, who has a darker complexion and curly hair. The reason why I find those aspects attractive is not because of how they look, but because those were aspects of my ex, whom I adored dearly. It became an association thing, which is far different. I did not elaborate further JUST how much my imaginary partner means to me and other stuff about her because I thought they were not interested in learning. She is more than someone with curly hair and a dark complexion and it pains me to know they thought I made her just to be that.
They also mentioned my joking/silly comments about 'hating white people' and calling them crackers. This accusation is kinda silly because white people have never experienced mass prejudice as other people of color and they were not killed/enslaved for being white. To add to this, they are trying to convince folks that I said "Slavery wasn't that bad because it happened to my people too", my people being filipinos. This is not the case whatsoever and does not reflect my views at ALL. I find it scummy they put words in my mouth when time and time again, I tried my best to show up for the people of color, as I am only a 16 year old child.
Despite their accusations of my racism, they neglected to mention that two of my friends are also Black and they both agreed I have done nothing to insinuate that I felt prejudiced against black people.
Boundary Crossing/Blatant ignorance of Boundaries, pushing people:
You could ask literally anyone I've been close with other than the accusers that I have not done a single thing without proper establishment of boundaries. [As a late addition, I should mention that the screenshots they provide as 'proof' are contradictory to their statements and I have been the one to establish boundaries in most relationships I've had.] One of the first things I do when establishing a closer friendship/connection with someone is to ensure that we state our boundaries and are not dicks about it. That being said, there may be times of high emotional irrationality where I accidentally rushed over a boundary, which I WILL apologize for if pointed out to me. I have a hard time understanding tones in both voice and text so it helps me and whomever I'm speaking with to have CLEAR. BOUNDARIES.
My recent ex partner accused me of being emotionally abusive and pushy, when our conversations usually look like this:
They mentioned that I was dismissive when they told me they were going to commit suicide and I couldn't do anything to change their mind. I will not refute this because that IS what happened and with a clearer head, I realize that the response I had was not morally right and for that I am deeply sorry. I confronted our mutual friends and since I was experiencing multitudes of emotions, being broken up with, being told that my partner wanted to commit and that I was helpless, I got angry. Not at them, never at them, but I was angry about the lack of communication that happened between us.
My biggest thing in relationships is the clear understanding that if you have issues with me, my personality and how I act, you tell me and we have a discussion about it. I am not omnipotent, I am not perfect, I have made so many mistakes but I can only learn and grow from them.
Expecting a 16 year old to have a perfect reaction to what happened is anarchy.
They also said I called my partner 'crazy' or shaming them for their disabilities when in reality, that was not the case. I am very blunt and I say things the way I see them, my comments on my ex partner's disabilities were no more than factual comments based on what they have told me before. And when I am wrong, I try to be better.
I fear they misunderstood what I meant when I said 'I cannot imagine being that mentally ill' because again, I meant it as a factual statement. I did not have my ex's disabilities or mental illnesses, I truly cannot imagine because I only hold sympathy, not empathy.
There are more sensitive matters that I am not 100% comfortable with because I am in fact a minor.
Stealing designs/Removing credit:
This is just false. Anywhere and everywhere I have posted other people's art, it was always with explicit credit and permission. I have never stolen anyone's designs and passed them off as my own. If I have my inspirations, I will state them, otherwise, they are of my own creation.
To say that MY works that I worked hard for is YOUR idea is just misinformation, we were DISCUSSING the idea that I had, you provided some insights and I expanded on that. OLAD is MY creation, it has ALWAYS been my creation and if there were any other people who helped me create it, they will be given proper credit. All the art I make is by me, from me and taken directly from my own hands. To even accuse me of this is just. not nice.
When I was working on Racers, I did not post any designs other than the ones I drew and designed on my own time. Bendy and Boris were and STILL ARE my designs. ALL of the ones I posted are by ME. AND ONLY ME.
And lastly, the allegations against my friend:
DO NOT TARGET THOSE CLOSEST TO ME WHEN YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH ME AND NOT THEM. DO NOT SPEAK BADLY ABOUT THEM WITHOUT ANY EVIDENCE. THAT IS A SERIOUS ALLEGATION PUNISHABLE BY JAIL TIME AND I WILL NOT ENCOURAGE THIS BEHAVIOR WHATSOEVER.
To explain my inability to show proper evidence for the other allegations, I was kicked from servers I shared with them and I have been distancing myself from them because I respected their choice in stopping being friends with me. I took that and moved on because I could not do anything else.
To do this, after MONTHS of inactivity from them, is cruel. I haven't interacted with them and they haven't interacted with me.
If you know these people, please do not shout harassment to them. This post is meant to be an explanation for all they accused me of, not an excuse for people to be irrational dickheads.
I know I can be overbearing and 'too much' but they showed no inclination that those traits I exuded are bad, or unwanted. I have my personal gripes with them, but it does not warrant making serious allegations with little-to-no evidence and making it seem like they were horrible people.
Everyone has their moments and so do I. Please, again, do not harass anybody, that is not what I am about and that will NEVER be what I am about.
Another thing, if the accusers see this post, please reach out to me so we can have a discussion instead of saying accusations with no proper baseline. I know some of you are adults and trying to frame a minor as a bad person is frankly not the nicest thing you could do.
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