« Dreams that can no longer reach you »
Ezmond wasn't in the right state of mind during his overblot, which should've been obvious. But he could never forgive himself for what he did to Krohn.
One month. 30 days, and Ezmond still couldn't forgive himself for what he had done.
The first thing he saw after his overblot will forever haunt him, something that he's gonna have to see in every nightmare from now on.
Right now he stood behind a library shelf, where he knew Krohn was on the other side. He clutched a book tight in his arms, but his feet were nailed to the ground.
He felt small drops of sweat trickle down his face, his perfect make up threatening to smudge. He wanted to talk to Krohn so badly, make amends once and for all, but how could he? When he was the reason Krohn was most likely never gonna be the same?
Ezmond wasn't in the right state of mind during his overblot, which should've been obvious. But he could never forgive himself for what he did to Krohn.
Despite Krohn's, Reese's and Viri's efforts, Ezmond had managed to strike Krohn in a fit of absolute rage and a turmoil of negative emotions, bottled up over the years.
One hit. Not just any hit, a sharp crystal straight to Krohn's stomach, missing his heart and lungs by just a few centimetres.
When he snapped back to reality from his overblot, he saw Krohn immediately rush to him, hug him, he even let the boy who hurt him so badly cry into his chest.
But the days after that, Krohn seemed just as traumatised as Ezmond. When he'd usually sprint to Ezmond in the hallways, trapping him in a bear hug, he'd now hesitate.
Ezmond knew it was his fault. He wasn't in the right state of mind, but it was still him who overblotted.
His heartbeat began racing unnaturally fast, standing behind a bookshelf where Krohn was minding his business on the other side, when suddenly...
His heart froze. That was Krohn. And as soon as he snapped around, Krohn was standing face to face without him. His usual brightness had dimmed so little, but Ezmond immediately noticed it in his eyes.
For once Ezmond, the sassy, confident and arrogant guy with a problematic superiority complex, was stuttering in front of his best friend, shaking, almost unable to make eye contact.
What hurt most was that Krohn had switched from the same nickname he's had since elementary to just his name.
Ezmond's heart spoke before his brain, his narrow violet eyes widening immediately.
« Ezmond, I know you're sorry. I forgive you, you didn't mean it."
Krohn smiled, but it wasn't the same. It was never gonna be the same. At least with Ezmond... Was their 10 year friendship on the brink of collapsing?!
« Krohn, what's wrong? You've been acting strange ever since my overblot... »
Krohn trailed off, sighed and continued.
« Look, Ezmond, I have to be honest. I don't wanna stop being your friend, it's just... I was really scared back then. I feel like it changed something between... us. »
Ezmond's heart shattered, a million pieces that no super glue could ever fix. Krohn still wanted to be friends, but now it was gonna be different, and Ezmond didn't wanna accept that there's nothing he could ever do about it.
« ... IT'S NOT FAIR!! I WASN'T THINKING STRAIGHT!! »
Ezmond resorted to the first weapon he could think of, yelling. His fists clenched at the sides of his body, his brows furrowing in anger and denial. Throwing a tantrum usually meant getting his way, at least back at home. He'd made a promise to himself after his overblot, while Krohn held him tighter than any hug he's ever given, that he would become a better person.
But old habits die hard, and Ezmond immediately regretted yelling when he saw the wounded look on Krohn's face.
He muttered under his breath, his heart sinking to his stomach. Krohn's eyes filled with tears he quickly blinked away, needing to stay strong for his... "best friend"...
« Ezmond, I know... I know you didn't mean it, I'm not blaming you. But it's not gonna be the same. Please, I just want you to accept that. »
Krohn forced himself to make his voice firm, wanting to make his point clear but not hurt Ezmond's feelings further, despite his own heart crumbling.
Only after Ezmond's overblot had he realised his heart was like a dog's, pathetic, unconditionally loyal and turning a blind eye when Ezmond did something horrible.
He was working on it, he had to learn how to say no, how to stop being a people pleaser. But it was hard when the one person he blindly followed this whole time was always in the back of his mind.
« I'm sorry, I really am. I wish we could go back to how we were before, but it's not gonna be easy. »
Krohn hated himself for being so honest with Ezmond, he could read him like an open book and knew each one of his words was breaking down something in Ezmond.
Eventually, Ezmond's fists unclenched, he looked down in despair and sighed, his own eyes tearing up, though the tears wouldn't fall.
« ... I understand. Take your time. »
Ezmond replied as he left, his voice low and measured. His heeled boots clicked softly against the library's polished floor with each step, his immaculate posture crouching slightly.
For the next few days, the two were completely separated. Ezmond would catch himself glancing at Krohn in the hallways, and Krohn would have to force himself not to look back at Ezmond.
But at night, they would both wonder if what they had could ever be restored. Perhaps it could, but no one could promise how long it'd take. Maybe even years, because both souls are deeply wounded from the same accident in a very different way, healing was also gonna be a very different journey for both of them.
A/N: The title is a direct reference to the song another melody by golden bomber, if you can't tell it's my most favourite song and IT'S THE BEST SONG EVER PLEASE LISTEN TO IT!! and it's also KrohnEz coded if you kinda read the lyrics, might make an analysis video soon
I wrote this on a whim at 1am because I feel like twisted wonderland doesn't have enough representation of just how traumatic an overblot can be, not just for the victim but for everyone around. Sure all the overblotters become essentially better after the event, but considering how it's described it should be a lot more scarring mentally and physically.
And ofc @kokii-omii this is probably dookie and not beta read at all #fairs👌